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MySQL Gets Perl Stored Procedures

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the well-isn't-that-special dept.

ryarger writes "Woo Hoo! After a seeming eternity of wait, there is finally an implementation of stored procedures for MySQL. It uses Perl as the stored proc language, too!" Also note that this piece of work was done by OSDNs own Krow. Very cool work I must say.

5 of 266 comments (clear)

  1. I'd like to give by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    MySQL a perl necklace.

  2. Get the fuck out!! No way!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll
    MySQL can handle stored procedures? No fucking way. Holy shit, batman. And Perl is the stored procedure language, too? Oh my God! I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. Oh the humanity.

    Man, this will really change everything. It's like the internet is brand new, all over again. This is a sea change, to say the least. MySQL is born again. Krow, if I knew anything about what this meant, I'd say you rock dude.

  3. This would have been great, fifteen years ago. by The_Messenger · · Score: 2, Troll
    Wow, now they only have to implement constraints, foreign keys, and transactions, and they'll almost be on the level of Postgresql.

    Who knows, maybe MySQL will one day be considered a real database product.Until then, though, those of use doing Real Work will continue to use Oracle, DB2, and SQL Server. Of course, these databases already have professional GUI development tools, spatial data modeling, XML table translation, and tons of other fun toys, so the MySQL developers better get to work!

    Honestly, besides cheapo webhosts and poorly designed weblogs, who uses MySQL?

    DB2 rocks on GNU/Linux, by the way, and it's free as in beer. You should check it out.

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    I like to watch.

  4. Re:Better stored proc languages... by buttfucker2000 · · Score: -1, Troll

    This is pretty fucking stupid. I've written several 3 tier apps with MSSQL on the data tier, and I use T-SQL stored procedures a LOT. They're precompiled, optimized, and a hell of a lot faster than building up some complex inner join on the middle tier and passing it as a SQL statement. I'm open to the possibility of building new servers with MySQL, but this stupid sort of shit makes that impossible.

    Why can't these fucktards concentrate their efforts on creating a standards-compliant product first, rather than fucking around with this sort of worthless feature shit? This is the shit that pisses me off. If I want to use perl, I'll use it on the middle tier. Give me a feature complete SQL db (ACID compliant, stored procedures, UDTs, UDFs, triggers, etc) first, and then you can jerk off and add your little fun features and have penguins pop up and shit. Fuck you Krow. DO YOU HEAR ME? FUCK YOU KROW.

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    Free Anne Tomlinson!!
  5. Re:Better stored proc languages... by buttfucker2000 · · Score: -1, Troll

    If I ever meet you, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!

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    Free Anne Tomlinson!!