Slashdot Mirror


Slashback: Sale, Secrecy, Lasers

More details below in tonight's Slashback on the sale of Corel's Linux division, the public posting of the encryption scheme some bright young Irish whippersnapper has come up with, fun details on those toys you can roll around with your computer, and winners of another contest.

That's a lot of Molsen. Bigger R writes contributes this link to a story in the Calgary Herald with more detail on the sale of Corel's Linux division which was mentioned in vague terms the other day. It's going to a company called Xandros, in exchange for cash and equity, so Corel will still have at least some interest in the continued success of Linux, or at least its distro. A snippet: "Xandros Corp. president Michael Bego, who started the Ottawa company recently in preparation for the deal announced Wednesday, is also a shareowner in Linux Global Partners, a privately held New York venture firm that put up $10 million US to start Xandros."

Small, cheap and fun are all good words. An Anonymous Coward writes "There's an announcement of the winners of the embedded linux journal's design contest over at linuxdevices.com. Cool projects -- voting system, digital audio workstation, solar racing vehicle, GizmoCopter Project, and Hacking BigMouth Billy Bass. Follow the urls for the projects which are given in the announcement to learn about each project. Oh, and the prize for winning each category? An all expense paid trip to Costa Rica. Dang, why didn't I enter?"

Stuff that's hard to read. John Sokol writes with an update on the Cayley-Purser Algorithm mentioned here before.

"This story went through some time back about a 16-year-old girl outdoing RSA, but it lacked any discussion of the actual algorithm. This link is her paper that she now has posted on the net. It seems reasonable. Maybe someone here can find a flaw in it?"

Roll 'em. Slide100 writes: "It seems that there is more to the desktop rover that was posted about on Tuesday.

The marketing manager sent me a PDF file that explains some more - apparently, they just don't have the time to update the website.

Each rover comes with a cable that plugs into the transmitter and software to allow control of the rover from your computer (or through TCP/IP).

Additionally, each rover has 'Laser Tag' as an integral part of the vehicle. 10 hits (including sound effects) and your rover is disabled 'till the next match See it here. BTW - I have nothing to do with the company, I just think its very cool."

13 of 141 comments (clear)

  1. First Mormon Masturbation Post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

    Mark E. Petersen
    Council of the 12 Apostles

    Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been,
    both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.

    This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You
    must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision,
    the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

    But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it
    is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your
    mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any
    tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.

    After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific
    guidelines:

    A Guide to Self-Control:

    1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during
    normal toilet processes.

    2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company
    and stay in this good company.

    3. If you are associated with other persons having this same
    problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never
    associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't
    suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will.
    You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in
    their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind.
    The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where
    it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more
    wholesome things.

    4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never
    stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long
    enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE
    BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your
    family present.

    5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the
    most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you
    cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would
    be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those
    clothes. By the time you started to remove protective
    clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your
    thinking that the temptation would leave you.

    6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed,
    GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A
    SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if
    you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining
    weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET
    YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your
    thoughts, so to speak.

    7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your
    problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a
    thought, then an act."
    The thought pattern must be changed. You must not
    allow this problem to remain in your mid. When you
    accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

    8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read
    good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the
    Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading
    at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the
    four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The
    four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above
    anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their
    uplifting qualities.

    9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for
    that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray
    for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray
    for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends,
    your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT
    MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT
    IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!

    The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect [sic] on how
    easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to
    control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and
    is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the
    act, he develops the power to control it.

    We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean
    so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit
    that robs one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress. It is not
    physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is
    totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of
    the procreative power given to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore
    separates a person from God and defeats the gospel plan.

    This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect
    testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become
    burdensome, offerins.

    To help in planning an effective program to overcome the problem a
    brieation is given of how the reproductive organs in a young man function.

    The testes in your body are continually producing hundreds of millions
    of reproductive cells call _spermatozoa_. These are moved up a tube called the
    _vas deferens_ to a place called the _ampulla_ where they are mixed with fluids
    from two membranous pouches called _seminal vesicles_ and the _prostate gland_.
    The resultant fluid is calleeminal vesicles are full a signa to the _central
    nervous system_ indicating they are ready to benother, depending on such
    thingsexercise, state of health, etc. everal times a week, for others
    It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at night
    durise the emptying come from the cetral nervous system. Often an erotic dream
    is experienced at the same time, and is a part of this normal process. nstead
    ourse, the reproductive system is operating at a more rapid pace, trying to
    keep up with the loss of semen. When he stops the habit, the body will
    continue to produce ahis increased rate, for an indefese are not harmful and
    are to be endured until the normal central nervous system pathway of rel
    During this period of control several things can be done to make the pr
    As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming
    masturbation can be implemented using some of t Remember it is essential that a
    regur report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures
    understood and eliminated.

    Suggestions:

    1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will
    strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out
    lout when the temptations are the strongest.

    2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises
    reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely
    basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical
    activity when you feel stress increasing.

    3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to
    those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then
    recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn.
    It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish
    need to indulge.

    4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week,
    month, year and finally commit to never doing it again.
    Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be
    open to temptation.

    5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved
    through a changed self-image. Spend time every day
    imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming
    tempting situations.

    6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate
    this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your
    relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to
    enhance your strengths and talents.

    7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others
    and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use
    principles of developing friendships found in books such as
    _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.

    8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to
    feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These
    emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a
    way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods
    through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting
    a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

    9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry
    it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of
    self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to
    have _no black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual
    reminder of self control and should be looked at when you
    are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up
    until you have at least three clear months.

    10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at
    certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall,
    in detail, what your particular times and conditions were.
    Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the
    pattern through counter activities.

    11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective
    technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate
    or think of something very distasteful with something which has
    been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought
    and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was
    pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful
    with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the
    act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think
    of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of
    them as you do the act.

    12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the
    bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage
    being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

    13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake,
    no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something.
    Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

    14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large
    amounts of fluids before retiring.

    15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food.
    Eat as lightly as possible at night.

    16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and
    not binding.

    17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that
    might create sexual excitement.

    18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use
    in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in
    hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme
    cases.

    19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to
    the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of
    masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This
    can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of
    clothing which would be difficult to remove while half
    asleep.

    20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have
    to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you
    overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which
    delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your
    progress.

    21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude
    patterns which were part of your problem. _Satan Never Gives
    Up_. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive
    mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and
    strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life
    a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

  2. HAHA LOSER! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Third, that must really suck.

  3. I found the flaw! by garcia · · Score: 0, Troll

    since it makes absolutely no fucking sense what-so-ever it must be a lie! She is just tricking us into thinking it is real by using all that fancy mumbo-jumbo ;-)

  4. dumbass...the cayley purser algoithm is broken. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    as described in the postscript of the paper documenting a successfull attack.

  5. .. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]
    . [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]. [goatse.cx]

    Posted by timothy on Thursday August 30, @06:59PM
    from the pine-does-too-have-filters dept.
    More details below in tonight's Slashback on the sale of Corel's Linux division, the public posting of the encryption scheme some bright young Irish whippersnapper has come up with, fun details on those toys you can roll around with your computer, and winners of another contest.

    That's a lot of Molsen. Bigger R writes contributes this link to a story in the Calgary Herald with more detail on the sale of Corel's Linux division which was mentioned in vague terms the other day. It's going to a company called Xandros, in exchange for cash and equity, so Corel will still have at least some interest in the continued success of Linux, or at least its distro. A snippet: "Xandros Corp. president Michael Bego, who started the Ottawa company recently in preparation for the deal announced Wednesday, is also a shareowner in Linux Global Partners, a privately held New York venture firm that put up $10 million US to start Xandros."

    Small, cheap and fun are all good words. Anonymous Coward writes "There's an announcement of the winners of the embedded linux journal's design contest over at linuxdevices.com. Cool projects -- voting system, digital audio workstation, solar racing vehicle, GizmoCopter Project, and Hacking BigMouth Billy Bass. Follow the urls for the projects which are given in the announcement to learn about each project. Oh, and the prize for winning each category? An all expense paid trip to Costa Rica. Dang, why didn't I enter?"

    Stuff that's hard to read. John Sokol writes with an update on the Cayley-Purser Algorithm mentioned here before.

    "This story went through some time back about a 16-year-old girl outdoing RSA, but it lacked any discussion of the actual algorithm. This link is her paper that she now has posted on the net. It seems reasonable. Maybe someone here can find a flaw in it?"

    Roll 'em. Slide100 writes: "It seems that there is more to the desktop rover that was posted about on Tuesday.

    The marketing manager sent me a PDF file that explains some more - apparently, they just don't have the time to update the website.

    Each rover comes with a cable that plugs into the transmitter and software to allow control of the rover from your computer (or through TCP/IP).

    Additionally, each rover has 'Laser Tag' as an integral part of the vehicle. 10 hits (including sound effects) and your rover is disabled 'till the next match See it here. BTW - I have nothing to do with the company, I just think its very cool."

  6. Microsoft eBook Cracked! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    I'm posting this again because slashdot keeps rejecting it.

    http://www.msnbc.com/news/621827.asp [msnbc.com]

    please don't click this line, I'm avoiding the lameness filter

    Aug. 30 -- It's easy to load a small library of electronic books into your laptop or handheld organizer and carry it with you on the bus or to the beach. But try to make backup copies of those same e-books or loan one to a friend, and you'll run smack into the digital equivalent of an electrified fence. The problem is that once a literary work has been liberated from the printed page, it's potentially vulnerable to unlimited digital piracy--a danger that makes most e-book publishers insist on strict software controls to prevent anyone but the purchaser from opening an e-book file.

    COMPETING "digital rights management" systems offered by companies such as Adobe Systems, Microsoft, Reciprocal and ContentGuard allow publishers to outfit e-books and other forms of electronic content with customized usage rules. The companies naturally strive to make these systems as hacker-proof as possible. But Technology Review recently learned of a home-brewed decryption program that defeats the most advanced antipiracy features built into Microsoft Reader, a leading e-book program downloaded by over a million people since its debut in August 2000.
    (MSNBC is a Microsoft-NBC joint venture.)

    CODE BREAKING
    The decryption program enables purchasers of "owner-exclusive" Microsoft Reader titles--Microsoft's most highly protected form of e-book--to convert these titles to unencrypted files viewable on any Web browser. The program's creator, a U.S. cryptography expert who asked not to be identified, says he wanted to circumvent the "two-persona" limit, a rule built into Microsoft Reader at the behest of publishers that allows purchasers to read the same e-book on up to two devices, but no more.

    Though the decryption program works on any Windows PC, the programmer hasn't released it, saying he developed it for his personal use. But the program's existence, together with decryption efforts directed against e-book formats from other companies, such as Adobe, illustrates the vulnerabilities in digital rights management schemes. It also promises to fuel the ongoing debate over the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act, under which it is legal in certain circumstances to use--but, paradoxically, not to make or distribute--software that circumvents technological copyright protections.
    Microsoft controls access to copyright-protected e-books through Microsoft Reader, the software used to display e-book files. Reader is a free program that can be installed on any Windows laptop or desktop. When you purchase a Reader e-book from a retailer such as Amazon.com, special server software equips your title with one of three levels of copy protection, as specified by the publisher.

    E-books with owner-exclusive protection, the level used for premium titles such as current bestsellers, are encrypted during download using a unique mathematical key contained in your copy of the Reader software. This key is obtained by "activating" your copy of Reader, which requires you to register for a Microsoft Passport account and supply Microsoft with an e-mail address and other identifying information.
    Currently, only two copies of Reader can be activated under the same Passport account--the "two-persona" rule--so access to owner-exclusive e-books is limited to the devices on which those two copies of the software are installed.

    READERS RESPOND
    Such rules irritate many e-book readers, who feel that once they have purchased a book, they should be able to read it wherever they want. "I like to read e-books at my desk, when I'm traveling, lying on the sofa and when I'm eating lunch. I use different computers for these things, so I need more than two activations," says Roger Sperberg, a publishing consultant and a columnist for the industry site eBookWeb.

    Some readers also complain that Microsoft's limitation makes it difficult to recover their e-books after a hardware upgrade, which can invalidate the activation key. The anonymous programmer says he wrote his decryption software partly to sidestep such practical problems, and partly so that he could extract the text of his e-books for display on additional devices such as the REB1100, a dedicated reading device manufactured by RCA.
    The programmer's software works by recovering a series of well-hidden encryption keys specific to each activated copy of Reader and to each owner-exclusive e-book. It essentially reverses the process that publishers follow when they assemble source files such as text and images into a final e-book. The software dumps unprotected copies of these files into a new folder on the user's computer--as the programmer demonstrated to Technology Review using an actual owner-exclusive e-book purchased from a major online bookstore.
    Approached for comment, Jeff Ramos, director of worldwide marketing for Microsoft's "eMerging Technologies" group, said, "We do not comment on alleged security violations of our software. In general, if necessary in response to such incidents, we take appropriate measures."

    DIGITAL-RIGHTS DEBATE
    So far, programmers intent on exposing e-book security weaknesses haven't been deterred, even by the possibility of legal action. Indeed, the publicity surrounding the prosecution of Dmitry Sklyarov, a Russian cryptographer who wrote similar software that strips copy protection from Adobe e-book files, has only added to widespread criticism of digital rights management technologies and the laws designed to bolster them.
    FBI agents arrested Sklyarov at a July hacker convention in Las Vegas after a tip-off from Adobe that Sklyarov's employer, ElcomSoft, had been selling the protection-removing software from its Web site. The arrest--the first criminal case brought under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act--spurred a boycott against Adobe products and protests against the company in more than 20 cities around the world. (Adobe quickly withdrew its support for the prosecution, and Sklyarov was released from custody in August. The U.S. Department of Justice continues to pursue the case.)

    One issue in the Adobe debate is a conflict in the copyright act. An exemption to the legislation makes it legal to circumvent technological protections when an e-book is malfunctioning, damaged or obsolete. Civil-liberties groups such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation say such exemptions are necessary to protect traditional rights of "fair use" of copyrighted materials. But the act outlaws the manufacture, distribution or sale of software or devices that would allow consumers to exploit the exemption--a provision supported by publishers.
    "There is no device that can currently distinguish between a fair use and an illegal use of a copyrighted work," explains Allan Adler, vice president for legal and government affairs at the Association of American Publishers.

    But unless publishers give readers the leeway to use e-books the same way they use print books, say many critics, few consumers will ultimately buy into the technology. To eBookWeb's Sperberg, getting rid of the "crazy catch-22" in the copyright law and rules like Microsoft's two-persona limit would be a good start. The fact that Microsoft has now joined Adobe as a victim of e-book decryption efforts, he says, should make it clear that "digital rights management doesn't make things harder for the professional pirate or the black-market publisher; it makes things harder for me, the reader."
    Until software makers and publishers can figure out how to protect their e-books without treating all readers like thieves, in other words, the summer of beach-blanket e-books may never materialize.

    ascii spork

  7. been there; done that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    H O W T O G E T L A I D O N T H E F I R S T D A T E

    Written by 808 STATE
    Uploaded - Raphael
    Edited - Raphael & 808 State

    One of the perpetual needs of the average male is sex, but sadly most women
    are reluctant to give in to this on the first date. This guide will tell
    you step by step, how to ensure that you get her into bed.

    THE DATE
    --------
    Take her to a restaurant, somewhere nice but cheap. I'd advice someplace
    close to home, because if all goes well, you will want to get her home as
    quickly as possible, before she escapes, err.. changes her mind.

    Dress for the occasion. Wear clothes that mask the real you, that being
    wear a suit, or something. You want to get her to believe that you are a
    gentlemen, as opposed to a sex crazed maniac, the latter being the real you.

    Take her flowers. Something so cheap, but such a powerful weapon. If you
    don't want to pay for some, steal them. Anyone can pull some flowers out
    of their nextdoor neighbour's yard.

    Preparation is the key to success, so before leaving, put the following in
    your car (just in case): A strong nylon rope, a balaclava, a sharp
    Wiltshire stay sharp filleting knife (preferably with a brown handle), a
    copy of "Solider of Fortune" magazine, and a walkman. It would also be a
    good idea to pack a large polythene bag as well, and maybe some bricks to
    match it.

    ON THE DATE
    -----------
    Whilst on the date, you must be polite. Try and trick the bitch into
    believing that you are honest, kind, considerate of others, and a "new
    age" male. Get her believing this and you are half way there to getting the
    slag in the bag.

    Talk about things of culture, music, art, theatre. Don't talk about things
    like "The time you bit the head of your mother's budgie", "Or how you
    murdered a million tibetan monks, but we're excused because you were a
    freemason", or "How many men you killed in Vietnam". No, ladies don't like
    that sort of talk, despite the fact it is far more interesting. Tell them
    about how you are a fan of good music, and have a great record collection.
    Make sure you gear everything you say around their interests. If you find
    out that she is a fan of "The National Bulgarian Potplant Orchestra", tell
    her you have got all their albums at home, and maybe one day she could come
    over and have a look (at the records).

    Use humour, be funny and make her laugh. While she is laughing, you can
    order more drinks. The more intoxicated you get her, the better. Aim to
    have her vomiting bilious fluid by the end of the night and success is
    assured. Don't order beer, order expensive wines. Ladies like wine, and
    if you pour drinks at a 4:1 ratio, you should only be tipsy by the nights
    end.

    As the night progresses, slowly but steadily, start telling her how much
    you like her, and how much you have in common. Women love this sort of
    crap. Act like you mean it, and she will be putty in your sweaty hands.
    Don't go overboard though and start licking her feet, but pay her lots of
    subtle compliments.

    Towards the end of the night, tell how you would really like to see her
    again. By now, she should be totally pissed. If not, tell her anyway. It
    is now time to play the final card. Tell her that she is too pissed to
    drive, and so you'll take her home.

    Stop off at your house, and invite her inside for a coffee. Hopefully, she
    will accept, if not then it's time to get mean. Remember, fear and threats
    the greatest aphrodisiac. If she refuses, try and convince her with words.
    If words fail, lock the doors. Central locking is beaut for this. She will
    probably get scared and start screaming now. If not now, then she probably
    will when you begin to rape her. Take the nylon rope and tie her neck to the
    headrest. Do it tightly in a slipknot, so that the more she moves, the more
    she'll choke. Rip off her dress, and taking the knife in one hand hold it
    to her. Then get on top of her, and rape her. You should be able to take
    it from here.

    Once you're done and you've told her how good she was. Give a kiss, and
    tell her how much you'd like to see her, and maybe even her family, again.
    Then take the knife and kill her. Put her body in the bag and dump it
    somewhere, a good place being in X-Club, the nightclub in King Street
    Melbourne, because no-one ever goes there.

    If she decides to come into your home, you have won. Shut the door behind
    her, then take out the knife. It is your house, and you are a male, so it
    should be no problem to bash the fuck out of the bitch and then rape her.
    Aim to knock her unconscious, but not into a coma. In case you didn't know,
    a woman's cunt tenses up in a coma, and thus entry may be difficult.

    Once done, discard of her. A dead bitch is environmentally friendly, so
    have no hesitation in burying her someplace. Your backyard? Why not.

  8. Goatse.cx by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    It has come to my attention that there has been a severe lack of goatse.cx ascii art on Slashdot recently. I shall be attempting to remedy this condition, by posting the following:
    * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
    g g
    o / \ \ / \ o
    a| | \ | | a
    t| `. | | : t
    s` | | \| | s
    e \ | / / \\\ -- \\ : e
    x \ \/ --~~ ~--| \ | x
    * \ \-~ ~-\ | *
    g \ \ .--------.__\| | g
    o \ \_// ((> \ | o
    a \ . C ) _ ((> | / a
    t /\ | C )/ \ (> |/ t
    s / /\| C) | (> / \ s
    e | ( C__)\__/ // / / \ e
    x | \ | \\__// (/ | x
    * | \ \) `---- --' | *
    g | \ \ / / | g
    o | / | | \ | o
    a | | / \ \ | a
    t | / / | | \ |t
    s | / / \/\/ | |s
    e | / / | | | |e
    x | | | | | |x
    * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *

  9. beefse.cx by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    "Do you, like, ever let people into your meat-locker to, like, uh, you know,
    fuck around with the meat?" I asked.

    The short-haired Greek man looked at me strangely from behind the counter.
    Several of the waitresses glared in my direction.

    "What you mean 'fuck around'?" the dumpy Greek asked.

    "You know, like shovin' your dick in and out of the openings in the meat.
    Then, like, getting a bunch of smelly, sticky cream of tubesteak all over the
    junk that you grind into foodburgers," I informed him.

    "Naw. We don't do that. You don't do that. Nobody do that," the imbecile
    claimed.

    "I do that," I began, "and as a matter of fact, most of my pals do that too.
    We like it."

    Overhearing our conversation, one of the waitresses gave me a sour look.
    She seemed to be acting like she was getting sick. The cook and the other two
    waitresses completely ignored everything except the random orders for patty
    melts and double cheeseburgers.

    "Look, I don't wanna do nothin' weird or strange or anything. I just wanna
    fuck a bunch of meat that you got in your huge ol' meat locker. Listen, don't
    any of you stupid fuckers understand what I'm sayin'?" I stated in an agitated
    manner.

    "Mister, people gotta eat my food. If you stick dick in food, no can eat.
    Frank lose money. No can do," the Greek said.

    "How much money would you lose, bright eyes?" I asked.

    "Big thing of cow cost Frank $220 for a half," Greek-man said.

    "Well, I wanna fuck around with about 13 of them. Let's see...that's about
    $2860...and I'll give you...oh, let's see...$40 just for letting me do it,
    OK?"

    "I dunno."

    "OK. Look, I'll give you $3000 cash, RIGHT NOW, cause I like you an awful
    lot, and also cause I'm fucking sick and tired or trying to talk to you
    goddamn Greek half-wits."

    The Greek seemed to ponder what I had said for a minute, or perhaps he was
    just wallowing in incomprehension. One waitress went into the back-room and
    loudly threw up.

    "OK. But you give Frank money NOW."

    I handed the three bills over to the fool and lifted up a section of the
    counter and walked into the walk-in freezer.

    "OK, you can fuck with 13 sides of cow, but leave cheese and other gunk
    alone. OK?"

    There was a wide variety of different kinds of food present in the walk-in
    freezer. Many, many eggs and other fine foods. I could see containers of
    pancake batter and butter. On the left was what I was after. Thirteen
    beautiful sides of beef!

    I started to get a hard-on just looking at the beef!

    "You got your cash. Get out of here!" I shouted at the geek.

    I casually waltzed up to the nearest beef-side and began to sweet-talk it.

    "Hi, new in town? Ever get into Satanism? Shit, you're cute."

    The cool beef did not reply.

  10. give me a break by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    This fucking bitches dad is a fricken math professor, gee who couldn't come up with some weak peice of shit algorithm with daddy holding your hand. It's not like this is some chick from a working class family who's smart or something. It's some rich bitch from a stuffy academic family. I say fuck you, you fucking cunt.

    What did i do when i was sixteen? I had fun with my FRIENDS and enjoyed being a TEENAGER not sit on my ass studying math to make my daddy happy.

  11. well ... by timothy · · Score: 0, Troll

    a lot of people I think did not see this posting:
    http://slashdot.org/articles/01/04/17/1915221.sh tm l (it was also mentioned in a slashback, when someone pointed out the several leap seconds that the unix timestamp does not account for).

    There were also more than one posting about content protection on ATA drives. I'd point to one or more, if an airplane hadn't just struck the mountain which houses the /. search engine. Well, google helped me find this interview with Andre Hedrick: http://slashdot.org/interviews/01/01/10/1427235.sh tml

    But if you don't like reading particular authors, you can turn them off in your preferences. If you don't like reading stories about particular topics, same thing. And if you don't like reading Slashdot, well ... :) what can I tell ya besides make your choice and enjoy the returns?

    timothy

    --
    jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
  12. loser by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Troll

    I bet that bitch gets no dick.

  13. desktop rover by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    It's very strange that I am moved to post by this thing.

    Many of the most useful little devices started as sex toys. For instance the Aztec and Inca civilizations had wheels on their childrens ass toys but not on their dildos and gay porn ass ramming machine.

    This little toy, or at least the model of a cheap travelling dildo based on existing tech, could lead to cheaply revolutionized gay sex in cities and other compact spaces, such as aircraft carriers, etc.

    Using these devices as sex robots would cut down on aids and save niggers and gay faggots in many cities.

    It sounds weird to us not because it's scientifically or fiscally implausible but because we are involved in a gay culture.