Slashdot Mirror
Congress Plans DMCA Sequel: The SSSCA
Declan McCullagh writes: "If you thought the DMCA was a nightmare, wait 'til you find out what Congress is planning this fall. The sequel is called the "Security Systems Standards and Certification Act," and it requires PCs and consumer electronic devices to support "certified security technologies" to be approved by the Commerce Department. Backers of the SSSCA include Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), who heads the powerful Senate Commerce committee, and, reportedly, Disney. Wired News has a report, and I've placed the SSSCA draft text (new! more criminal penalties!) online here. D'ya think that maybe Congress doesn't like OSS very much?" This is only a draft, not even introduced as a bill yet, but it sends chills down my spine - this is the big one. If passed, it would require all personal computers to have digital rights management built in, under penalty of law.
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I* mportant Stuff: Please try to keep posts on topic. * Try to reply to other people comments instead of starting new threads. * Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. * Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. * Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to CowboyNeal.
A Democrat and you're worried about your rights?
Update: "Fist Sport" explained. (05/17/01)
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It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
Linus Torvalds is an anagram of SLIT ANUS OR VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
Richard M. Stallman , spokespervert for the Gaysex is Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of MANS CRAM THRILL AD.
Alan Cox is barely an anagram of ANAL COX which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, [Buy At Amazon] is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for SECONDARY RIM and CORD IN MY ARSE. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for "Felch Male" - a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, "felching" is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into "e-male."
As far as Richard "(cock)Master" Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following:
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about "flaming," who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as "Slashdot's resident Gasbag." Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux "Sauce Code," a "Gasbag" is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, "piss-pipe"), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the Slack-wear fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of CLAW ARSE, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for DARK AMEN and RAM NAKED, which is what they do.
Another "distro," (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like "Disco," which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of IN A BED, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. "Woody" is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase "Frozen Potato" that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual "Sauce Code," refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the "supermount" tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. "Automount" is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of "mount points." These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say "There is no /opt mount point" because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love 'man', even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out 'man'. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the "FAQ," but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Some more proof of Linux's inherent gayness has come to my attention. Readers of Slashdot, a prominent Linux evangelism site, often compete to get the "First Post" on a new story. While this may at first seem like harmless inanity, "first post" is actually an anagram for the much more sinister FIST SPORT, obviously referring to the disgusting homosexual practice of "fisting", whereby one man forces first his clenched fist then the rest of his queer arm up into the lower intestine of another man. How any proper Christian person could find pleasure in this practice is abhorrent.
Also on Slashdot, half of the postings to these articles begin with, in big capital letters, I ANAL, which requires no explanation, and is so blatantly filthy it boggles the mind.
Even the title "Slashdot" originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous hemosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.goatse.cx/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: "Hemos" is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from "Homos." But even more sickening is "Commander Taco" which sounds a bit like "Commode in Taco," filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these "Taco Commodes" have special "Salsa Sauce" (blood from a ruptured rectum) and "Cheese" (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, The Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. "Slash - Dot" is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled "stumpers."
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux "Sauce code" once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase "Monolithic Kernel"?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the "Open Sauce" movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux "sauce code" is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: "Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow." And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by A Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to "Pearl Monocle", "Pearl Nosering", and the ubiquitous "Pearl Enema".
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry "Balls to the" Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of "colon kissing," whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as "Parameter Passing".
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I DO know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an "extension" to the Linux "Sauce Code," for the sake of "interoperability." (The slang term they use for non-consensual intercourse - their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the "Samba Mount," into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the "Samba Mount" collapses due to "overload," and needs to be "rebooted." (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their "uptime" in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend +1, Underrated, as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened "Bender"???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of "Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours," but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a "number two," as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator) across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License, according to geekacronyms.org) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is KNOWN to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of "Source Control" unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like "Sauce Control," which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And "Open Sauce" is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, "Closed Sauce" is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of "soggy biscuit" that open "sauce" development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, The WIPO Troll, FreeWIPO, Bring BackATV. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version is based on the all-too-rare backup copy sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Re-reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Additional stuff done in preparation for the future. Addition of F.I.R.S.T.P.O.S.T. for the sake of decent folk everywhere!
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding 'man' and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
California wants all the BENEFITS of electric power but doesn't want to PAY with the mess that generating power produces.
Well, it looks like CA is learning that low prices just can't be legislated into existance any longer and that no one wants to subsidize them any more. Want power? Then it's time to get dirty like everyone else. No more, "let's build the plants in Nevada so we can suck off the wire, fart into Nevada and brag about how we're meeting the Clean Air Act". Power costs. Time to pony up start gassing yourselves just like everyone else. Just like everyone else.
Other power producers no longer and RIGHTFULLY do not want to sell power to a DEADBEAT STATE already FAILING TO PAY for power they've already consumed. Then, like crybabies, they wants the Fed to force other power companies to sell to CA at a loss. What the fuck? Pay up or shut up.
Ca doesn't like oil/deisel/coal fired plants because "they pollute". Natural gas is running out and getting expensive so that won't work anymore. And hydro plants "harm the habitat of [cuddly species of the day]". Nuclear? Calofornians have been conditioned to plug their ears and scream "No! No! No!" whenever the N word is mentioned? Facts? Facts are irrelevant. Nuclear power being bad is an unquestioned axiom. If you do go nuclear, CA, make sure to keep your own waste in your own state. Solar? Geothermal? Nifty buzzwords but CA wants LOWER POWER PRICES, which these power sources will definately NOT produce.
Well, it looks like CA is finally feeling the squeeze from its endless pile of environmental laws, passed by legislators who themselves still ride around along in big SUVs, while trying to mandate such vehicles away from ordinary peons or trying to crush all 10+ year old cars into cubes via smog check rules DESIGNED TO FAIL X% OF CARS with X rising every year. Of course, new cars less than 2 or 3 years old are exempt from smog testing. Who can afford new cars every 2 or 3 years? Rich legislators on the take, of course!
Well, pardon me if I don't cry for you, California. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Swallow that bullshit pride and start repealing environazi regs and start building more power plants and oil refineries.
And when CA does loosen enviromental laws, I'm sure they'll blame all the increased pollution on Republicans. Gotta keep feeling good, eh California?
hmmm, do you live in iraq?
The above comment does not link where it says it does.
Nathan Barley, twentysomething Londoner and self-confessed 'media samurai', is sitting sprawled across a sofa in his Clerkenwell flat playing a video game called Box of Wolves on an imported Japanese console.
"These aren't out over here yet", he says, pointing at the device, a mauve plastic box with twinkling lights forming a happy face on the front, "I had to order mine in advance nine months ago from a Tokyo webstore. It's a brilliant site actually. It also sells T-shirts, bikes, loincloths and kazoos."
Loincloths?
"They're more comfortable than pyjamas", he explains.
And kazoos?
"Yeah", laughs Nathan, ditching his joypad. "But they're not actually called kazoos any more. They're K'zus."
And with that, he pulls out a K'zu of his own, attached to his jeans via an absurdly elongated keychain, and starts playing the theme from Minder. Then he plays it again. Twice.
"Great fun if you're on a bus", he gasps between renditions.
I ask whether people find it annoying. Nathan looks blank.
"Why would they?" A thoughtful pause, then: "if they do, no-one's ever said anything."
And with that he launches into a fourth reprise, nonchalantly tapping his foot as he does so. Built into the sole of his right trainer is a pressure-sensitive pad which causes a short breakbeat to burst from a miniscule speaker located in the rear ankle each time his heel hits the floor. The resulting K'zu-breakbeat remix is digitally recorded by a microphone in his left shoe.
"I'm getting a copy of this now", he explains, "so I can incorporate it into my DJ spot at Diagram this evening". The Diagram Bar, owned by an old schoolfriend of Nathan's, was recently voted 'place to be seen' by NowBiter magazine, which Nathan edits.
Nathan Barley is a cunt.
Commander Taco, twentysomething American and self-confessed 'media samurai', is sitting sprawled across a sofa in his geek compound playing a video game called Box of Wolves on an imported Japanese console.
"These aren't out over here yet", he says, pointing at the device, a mauve plastic box with twinkling lights forming a happy face on the front, "I had to order mine in advance nine months ago from a Tokyo webstore. It's a brilliant site actually. It also sells T-shirts, bikes, loincloths and kazoos."
Loincloths?
"They're more comfortable than pyjamas", he explains.
And kazoos?
"Yeah", laughs Taco, ditching his joypad. "But they're not actually called kazoos any more. They're K'zus."
And with that, he pulls out a K'zu of his own, attached to his jeans via an absurdly elongated keychain, and starts playing the theme from Cowboy Bebop. Then he plays it again. Twice.
"Great fun if you're on a bus", he gasps between renditions.
I ask whether people find it annoying. Taco looks blank.
"Why would they?" A thoughtful pause, then: "if they do, no-one's ever said anything."
And with that he launches into a fourth reprise, nonchalantly tapping his foot as he does so. Built into the sole of his right trainer is a pressure-sensitive pad which causes a short breakbeat to burst from a miniscule speaker located in the rear ankle each time his heel hits the floor. The resulting K'zu-breakbeat remix is digitally recorded by a microphone in his left shoe.
"I'm getting a copy of this now", he explains, "so I can incorporate it into my DJ spot at Diagram this evening". The Diagram Bar, owned by an old schoolfriend of Taco's, was recently voted 'place to be seen' by Slashdot webzine, which Taco edits.
Commander Taco is a cunt.
get your network sorted quick,
business wanted Internet2 well it's probably about time WE made it.
Get your 802.11b kit quick while you still can and let's get it going.
Spread that 11mb around and with some aggregating we should be able to make a newtwork where ANYONE can connect, not just 'approved' equipment.
Once we wean ourselves away from their network we'll be back in BBS 37337 utopia again and it will be like 'the September that Never Happened'.
There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
ummm... hes on your side.
Congrats!
God, I hope you were being sarcastic!