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Senator Hollings and the SSSCA
An Anonymous Coward writes: "You probably suspected some sort of "follow the money" thing was behind Sen. Fritz Hollings' support of SSSCA, the draft bill that would make using 'any interactive digital device that does not include and utilize certified security technologies' illegal in the U.S. This proposed law could effectively outlaw Linux and most Open Source software, depending on how judges interpret it. A NewsForge story details where Sen. Hollings' money comes from. Guess what? His biggest contributors are entertainment industry companies, their lawyers, and their lobbyists. The story also says Hollings and his staff refused to comment on the bill, and staffers the reporter talked to refused to even give their names." Newsforge and Slashdot are both part of VA Linux.
Dave Spamcannon!!!
My fellow Americans,
It has come to my attention via the political statements of last Tuesday, that there are some people in this big, bright, wonderful world of ours who disagree with our foreign policy. Let me assure any of these people who may be watching, that I feel your pain. Truly, I empathize. Tonight I will lay out a course of actions that will investigate how our Republican congress offended these people, and make sure it never happens again.
Let me say that it is my hope that survivors may still be found in the ruins of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, even though I have ordered no gasoline-powered cranes, trucks, or chainsaws to be used. As I said in my best-selling book EARTH IN THE BALANCE, the internal combustion engine is the greatest threat to mankind. I hope everyone was listening when I assigned that book to be read in my State of the Union address. There will be a test.
America has asked how we as a nation will respond. Let me say that I do not at this time feel a military action is appropriate, as it would distract our soldiers from their vital jobs of planting trees in Kosovo and directing traffic in Mogadishu. Therefore, I have instead ordered the formation of a special, non-partisan "Committee of Reconciliation." Members will be the Most Very Rev. Al Sharpton, Former President Jimmy Carter, Former Attorney General Janet Reno, respected newsmagazine publisher Larry Flynt, and our greatest living American actor, Alec Baldwin. They will oversee the writing of the "Treaty to Prevent All Future Bad Things from Ever Happening." Because as I've said before, a nation that places its security in a piece of paper with some names on it is a secure nation. We will make sure all nations on Earth sign the Treaty, unless they don't want to.
I have also ordered the formation of a new Cabinet-level department, the "Department of Apologies." Any time anyone on Earth is ever offended by anything we as a nation do, have done, or might conceivably ever do, we will immediately offer a full and groveling apology, along with monetary compensation. Taxes may have to be raised, but as I've said, there will have to be sacrifices. This Department will be headed by former NY Gov. Mario Cuomo.
We will also make sure there are Air marshals on all future American airplane flights. However, in the spirit of fairness and tolerance, these Marshals will be armed only with boxcutter knives. My spiritual counsel, the Spectacularly Rev. Jesse Jackson, informed me that some future political dissidents (some call them "terrorists." I reject this mean-spirited label.) may feel offended by the sight of Marshals better-armed than they are. I have made specific instructions that these Marshals NOT engage in the despicable practice known as "criminal profiling"?in other words, just because someone with a turban and a knife stands up on a plane and yells "DEATH TO ALL CAPITALIST INFIDELS", that does NOT mean they are automatically out to do harm. Rev. Jackson agrees with me.
I am proud to add that my former boss, President Bill Clinton, has offered his services as a special envoy. He has asked to be sent "anywhere there's a camera and whorehouses."
I want to recognize some special heros in the gallery?NY Sen. Charles Schumer, who was only 45 miles away from the blast, immediately responded by "running and hiding like a frightened six-year-old girl." His courage is an inspiration to us all. Also, Congresswoman Barbara Lee (D-Berkeley) who, when told of the explosion, said "good." This exercise in free speech warms my heart. Some have asked why there are no firemen, policemen, or soldiers in the gallery tonight. I considered this, but Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-Hell) made the point that "the sight of so many men blatantly flaunting their?.maleness?.may offend our viewers from the National Organization for Women." I'm sure you understand.
I also ask the American people, again in the spirit of tolerance and inclusion, to refrain from ever flying the American flag again.
Thank you, and may God Bless America, unless you feel such a statement may violate the separation of Church and State. In which case, please ignore that statement.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding. Nobody's that stupid to actually believe that, are they?
lol. That damned Tyler Durden, always trying to destroy skyscrapers. When will he learn?
Please don't waste any more bombs targetting innocent civilians who push money from bank to bank.
If you really want to make a statement about the commercialized culturally opressive Western civilization, please target these people.
Thanks you.
And don't get all defensive about it, you open source l00zers.
VANILLA ICE.
You're what netizons from Usenet call a 'kook'. Loser.
The 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America
Or one redneck idiot. Whichever.
Oh my GOD!
65th p0st!!!!!
I'm awesome.
hope your sicko post is legally actionable... it would be gratifying to know whether, if it is actionable, the FBI rakes your sorry ass over the coals for posting that crap... or maybe you could just do us all a favor and step in front of a semi-trailer truck while it is going about 60 MPH?
you jiveass scumsucking slimeball, DIE NOW... you ARE less than jack. pls have a nice death.
to whom, etc: eat shit and die horribly, thanks.
repeat a DEMOCRAT / LIBERAL who is bought by the big media companies.
if only we could figure out a way to kill Jerry Falwell at the same time!
I think Q33NY was the flight to NY what crashed on the WTC.
Try to open MSWord and type in Q33NY and change those letters to the font WINGDINGS; you'll be shocked to see the results !
Q - 3 - 3 - N - Y changes to:
(airplane) (tower) (tower) (death) (palestina?)
--- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
Most trolls are funny, but this is going a bit too far.
http://srd.yahoo.com/dailynews/breaking/1/*%20%20% 20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20 %20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%2 0%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20h ttp://goatse.cx/goat.html
What makes those %20s turn into backspaces (%08)?
yeah right, the FBI dosen't give a shit if somebody's tricking people into looking at ass.
> My cock is still standing
Can I suck it?
I have to say, I found it hilarious. But then I live in the UK and also find Tony Blair's 'unanimous' support of America hilarious too. I might move to France.
Hey - you fucking stupid Slashdot sheep - get some opinions of your own, if you can, moron.
Also, it was fucking funny!
Perhaps if the FBI was busy tracking down terrorist instead of harassing and jailing russian programmers, a tragedy on 9/11 could have been averted.
Unfair?
Perhaps. But it makes you think that the FBI's priorities are all screwed up when they're more concerned with protecting profits than American people.
And I am strongly pro-law enforcement. I just insist they actually represent the people, not big business.
Funny as hell, keep up the good work.... and that's coming from the undisputed king of trolls, myself, TRoLL.
actually they probably do. if they got anyone like j edgar hoover there still, he probably wants in on it