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Microsoft Calls Viruses "Industrial Terrorism"
evenprime writes: "John Ashcroft wants congress to
declare computer crimes to be terrorism, and now
it looks like microsoft is trying to jump on the
bandwagon. In a recent column discussing microsoft's
new
STPP security program, microsoft's Michael Lane
Thomas stated that destructive viruses should be recognized
as acts of 'industrial terrorism.' Sounds like microsoft's
future security plans may depend more on legislation than
on code audits."
If that is the case, then Microsoft's total lack of security, and lack of timely response to reported security holes should be regarded as "harboring a terrorist".
If we're going to make virus' a terrorist crime, then we need to follow through all the way.
-This sig intentionally left blank
[...] destructive viruses should be recognized as acts of 'industrial terrorism.'
And MicroSoft is harboring them? Time for retaliation, I say...
Does publishing Microsoft Bob fall under "terrorist act"?
Your statement mocking the anti-terrorism legislation proposed by the greatest country to ever exist, the United States of America, is terroristic in nature. As I type, officials are currently en-route to your place of residence with the full intention of confiscating your terrorist propaganda, specifically your 1337 Windoze VBScript editor (often referred to as NotePad and compiled as NotePad.exe).
If you celebrate Xmas, befriend me (538
So now, in addition to "industrial espionage" (which has somehow entered the common lexicon), we will have "industrial terrorism?" What's next? Industrial Treason? Industrial Murder? Disturbing the Industrial Peace?
Schwab
Editor, A1-AAA AmeriCaptions
Early afternoon. Your 20+ IIS boxen automatically get the newest hot fix..and all reboot at the same time!
Not that would be anything out of the ordinary...
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." Mark Twain
DEAR RECEIVER,
You have just received a Taliban virus. Since we are not so
technologically advanced in Afghanistan, this is a MANUAL virus.
Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and send this
mail to everyone you know.
Thank you very much for helping me.
Abdulla
Talibanian hacker
All cynicism aside (okay, about half of it), I think this is one of the funniest MS articles ever. This reads like it's straight out of the Onion. First, here's a bit where IIS is compared to Christianity:
.NET will continue to be provided to the consumer, one innovative step at a time.".
"Just like the ideologies and religions of the world or the political parties of a given country, the technical innovations promoted by competing software companies will always be at odds because they embody the ideas of individuals.".
Even better, however, is the part where he tells you that if you stop using MS software, the terrorists have won:
"Following Gartner's recommendation to seek alternatives to IIS only accomplishes what the industrial terrorists want.".
Finally, though, I especially like the part where he threatens that MS might (Bill forbid) stop making software. Wow, I just don't know what we'd do without a new version of Word! Here's the threat-- if we don't classify this as industrial terrorism, MS might not charge you that yearly subscription fee:
"But as long as the spirit of innovation is preserved and the implementation of destructive viruses is recognized as the industrial terrorism that it is, then revolutionary ideas like
One innovative step at a time, indeed-- one more step, and he'll be writing for the Brunching Shuttlecocks.
Congratulations! You have just launched SaveTheChildren.jpg.vbs! Your harddrive is now cleared of all files, including any material potentially harmful to children.
Just *try* and argue against that one, Chester... it's for the children! Think of the children!