Slashdot Mirror
Dark Matter Measurements
ksp0704 writes: "According to this article at space.com, scientists have finally measured the approximately 90% of the universe we can't see (the dark matter)." I'm sure it will continue to be a topic of debate for years, but two independent measurements agreeing is a good sign.
And presto-change-o!
I've measured the amount of crap posted as comments on Slashdot to 90% of total content. I'll be releasing my complete findings soon.
3rd p0st
As if recent events (attacks on the World Trade Centres, Anthrax Attacks) raising our collective conciousness into a state of terror wasn't bad enough, Halloween is now upon us. Soon, a *new* terror, a spooky terror, will unfold as the souls of thousands of innocent civilians who died raise from the dead on All Hallow's Eve to terrorise yawl's neighborhood. And you people have the gall to be discussing dark matter measurements???? My *god*, people, GET SOME PRIORITIES!
The angry souls of the recent dead could give a good god damn about dark matter measurements, instead preferring to wander the areas where they met their untimely ends, seeking out unwitting victims for retribution. By all means, on the evening of Hallowe'en, try to avoid the area around Ground Zero of the WTC, the area near the Pentagon, and the crash site in Pennsylvania unless you don't mind becoming a victim of terror (a very spooky terror indeed), yourself.
You have been warned!
at adequacy.org
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I'm only posting this make sure Jamie knows that his Censorware is ineffective. I'm sooo tired of doing this... last story for Tuesday? Please?
The Slashdot Privacy Watch.
An Open Letter to VA Concerning Privacy on Slashdot
To whom it may concern,
It has come to our attention that Slashdot is building a detailed database of every visitor and user of Slashdot. This database includes, among other personal details, an address history which permanently records every IP address assosciated with every Slashdot user and comment for all time. We are concerned that this database is a signifigant Intellectual Property asset that may be abused in the event of a sale of Slashdot by VA to a third party.
In addition, we feel that keeping a permanent and indelible record of every IP address used to post every Anonymous comment on Slashdot erases whatever hopes of anonymity that endangered or threatened users may have had. To name two examples, Chinese dissidents and corporate insiders can have no expectation of anonymously revealing civil rights violations and corporate abuse.
It is our hope that given these concerns, VA Linux or Slashdot may choose to provide an opt-out option to users, whereby users could choose not to be tracked and profiled if they so request. Some discussion has been made of a Slashdot subscription service; perhaps one revenue stream for Slashdot would be to sell Privacy Rights. For a low yearly fee, a user could purchase the right not to be tracked, profiled, and logged by IP address.
Whatever steps are taken, it is our hope that Slashdot will address the current privacy concerns in public to allay our fears and to promote open discussion.
Thanks again for creating one of the most popular sites on the Internet, and all the best.
-The Slashdot Privacy Watch Team.
its brown and smelly (hint its not a nigger)
Oh how I've longed for this day. FP is mine.
Don't worry, one day you'll get yours.
FFFFFFFFFF
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PPPPP
PPP  PPP
>segmentation fault. core dumped.
An open letter to Jamie McCarthy
Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak. We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.
As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty, I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT, but anyone with a lick of sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?
How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?
I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?
Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this.
And that, as they say, is poetic justice.
--Everybody on Geekizoid
In gym class we laughed at him. Taco showered in his underwear. Then one day we pulled off his briefs. There in the gym room shower was CmdrTaco displaying the cutest teeny tinyest little errection you ever saw! That little pipsqueak got a bitty hard-on in gym class shower. What a queer. We all suspected he was a fag, but his little gym class "splinter" confirmed it.
An open letter to Jamie McCarthy
Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak. We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.
As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty, I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT, but anyone with a lick of sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?
How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?
I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?
Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this.
And that, as they say, is poetic justice.
--Everybody on Plastic.com
Jon Katz tried for the third night in a row to suck on his own penis, but was not successful. Experts questioned in the matter say the primary cause may be his small penis, estimated to be just under an inch.
ohh.. imagine a beowulf cluster of Jon Katz' tiny cocks..
That Jamie's Censorware code has failed to effectively IP ban the trolls, but effectively IP banned innocent users. Britney even wrote a song about it.
Oh jamie, jamie
How was I supposed to know
That posting would get me banned here
Oh jamie, jamie
You just can't let it go
And now you're losing sight, yeah
Is the perl as ruthless as you want it to be
Tell me jamie 'cause I need to know now, oh because
Chorus:
My proxy lists are pretty neat
I must confess I steal IPs
Someday soon I think you'll lose your mind
Give me a sign
Ban me jamie one more time
Oh jamie, jamie
The reason I seethe is you
Boy you got me blinded
Oh pretty jamie
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To show your users how you lie ya
Is your perl as vicious as you need it to be
Tell me baby 'cause I need to know now, oh because
Chorus:
My proxy lists are pretty neat
I must confess I steal IPs
Someday soon I think you'll lose your mind
Give me a sign
Ban me jamie one more time
Oh jamie, jamie how was I supposed to know
That secret banning is in vogue now
You must confess, I think it's time they know now
Don't you know that they believe
that you never ban IPs here?
Give everyone a sign!
Ban me jamie one more time!
Chorus:
My proxy lists are pretty neat
I must confess I steal IPs
Someday soon I think you'll lose your mind
Give me a sign
Ban me jamie one more time
I see the writing on the wall. And it says that Jamie has only suceeded in censoring the users; but hasn't gotten anywhere with censoring trolls.
I'm too sexy for the trolls
Too sexy for the trolls
Heidi's going to eat me
I'm too sexy for Heidi
Too sexy for my Heidi
So horny it hurts
And I'm too sexy for slash dot
Too sexy for slash dot
Troll ZD and free republic...
And I'm too sexy for your post
Too sexy for your post
No way you're first posting
I'm a slash troll - you know what I mean
And I do my little goatsex on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah
I petrify my penis on the catwalk
I'm too sexy for your cruiser
Too sexy for a cruiser
I'm much more a Natalie bruiser!
And I'm too sexy for my cat
Fuck a petrified cat
What d'ya think about that?
I'm a slash troll - you know what I mean
And I stroke my penis bird up on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah
I hump RMS up on the catwalk
(I'm too sexy for my)
(too sexy for my)
(too sexy for my)
('cause) I'm a slash troll - you know what I mean
And I turn some tricks for karma on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk, yeah
I fuck slash dot over on the catwalk
I'm too sexy for the Taco
Too sexy for a Taco
I fuck up this free site made by Taco!
I'm too sexy for slash dot
Too sexy for slash dot
Slashdot's going to hell
I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Horror/Sci Fi writer Stephen King was found dead in his Maine home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.
IDC, the highly respected industry auditing company, confirmed this week that stories posted by michael account for more than 80 percent of all stories posted to Slashdot at weekends. This news serves to reinforce what we've known all along: Slashdot is collapsing in complete disarray, finishing dead last in signal:noise ratio tests. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict Slashdot's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Slashdot faces a bleak future. In fact there is a possibility that there won't be any future at all for Slashdot, due to the actions of michael - a known censoring dictator, as well as an self-admitted torturer of cats. michael continues to lose the respect of all slashdot readers. censored posts die like leaves from a tree during fall, trampled beneath the feet of jack-booted thugs.
Worryingly, the number of stories posted by michael during the week is also on the rise.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers:
Slashdot leader CmdrTaco states that there are 70000 users of Slashdot, down from previous estimates of several hundred thousand.
[Side note: the decline of Slashdot has mirrored the decline of Linux bandwagon jumping failure VALinux]
How many of those readers comment on stories by michael? Let's see. The number of posts to stories by michael averages roughly 110, each poster usually making multiple comments. About 40 different users typically respond to stories posted by michael. Therefore about ((40/70000)*100%) = 0.06% of all Slashdot users care about stories posted by michael. This is consistent with expected results when correlating the estimated audience of all the posts noting michael's hypocrisy and control-freak tendencies. Evidently the users of this weblog choose not to feed that particular troll. Many even choose to no longer visit.
Due to the troubles of VALinux, abysmal sales and so on, Slashdot is in danger of being sold to the highest bidder - the bandwidth costs far outweigh the pitiful earnings from the banners and advertisments posing as stories. Soon Slashdot will be dead, its corpse raped by the censorship policies of the least favorite editor. Readers leave in droves, the herd instinct that brought them here now carries them away.
All major surveys show that Slashdot has steadily declined in readership by the crucial virgin geek market. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Slashdot is to survive at all it will require the removal of Michael Simms from an editorial position. This seems unlikely to happen, and all the while Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Slashdot is dead.
UPDATE:
It now seems that Linux bandwagon-jumping failure, VA-Software (formerly VALinux, formerly VA-Research) has finally accepted the inevitable. The pitiful and predictable demise of the still over-priced (at ~$1) startup creates more doubts as to the future of Slashdot. Larger adverts and new editors seem unlikely to save Taco's dream. Michael remains, though he has partially relinquished his censorship duties to his partner in deceit, the geek chick jamie. His debt to society is, as of typing, still unpaid.
Thanks for the idea. I was wondering how I might keep this long running troll, uhhh, long running.
I shall prepare a Christmas Special preview at once, sir!
The idea of a chain of events, each causing the next in the sequence, is a bit passé these days.
Cause and effect doesn't have to work in a chain. And what kind of fucking idiot decides whether or not ideas are worthy based on what some French fag thinks is fashionable?
If you ask for a cause for the first event you quickly lead to an infinite regress. What's the problem with there being a first event without cause?
If you weren't such an idiot, you might find that you can build up partial chains of events without absolutely knowing how everything goes all the way back to infinity. In your company are the creationists who determine that because there are a few missing links in the fossil record that the entire theory of evolution is bunk. I hope you retards are happy together.
I hope you don't think that because most events have causes they all do. That's a bit like thinking that all integers are non-zero because most of them are.
God, what sophomoric crap! We invented integers and have things called inductive proofs. Of course that shit's not going to work with real events!
That's not what anyone is asking for when they look for a "cause" for the big bang. What they're looking for is something better than the anthropic principle. It's not like they think that there was another universe where some asshole farted our universe into existence, and another asshole farted his universe into existence, and if I were a real Slashdot asshole I'd say it went on "ad nauseam" because I wouldn't be able to write without showing off my knowledge of fake Latin.
Man, what a prick.
I guess everybody knows about troll turdsday.
I had prepared plenty of matterial for the occasion, but!,
I was unable to submit it. Guess why?
I was BANNED.
It must have been some troll using my ISP's proxy
and I could not post for 72 hours.
That's it taco. I've had enough.
I declare Jihad (holy war) against cmdrTaco.
My response will be long, sustained and thoroful.
Muslim Troll
-- Trolling for Mohumad.