Lighter Side of CPAN

bleechack writes: "Looks like Perl.com is fully ready for the release of Lord of the Rings with this week's "Lighter Side of CPAN"."

Comments

Obufscated Haiku'd Perl

[ukryule]

So to sum up this article, if you add this at the top of your Perl programs:

use Symbol::Approx::Sub;
use Coy;

Then not only will your Perl be even less decipherable than normal Perl code (wow!), but the errors you get from it will be hidden in lines of poetry! No self-respecting programmer would have it any other way ...

Now, it's back to debugging my program for me:

-----
Two old men encounter
beside a pond. A swallow
flying. Two trout.
-----
Lao Tse's commentary...
Execution of ./new.pl aborted due to compilation errors.

("The Way of Mysterious Compiler": line ???)

Decoded Geekcode from the article

[Nevrar]

There's a few syntax errors in that geekcode, but here's the decoded (valid) geekcode from the article

--

Matlab

[sasha328]

I remember when I used to use Matlab, there was a funtion called "Why". It used to spit out these silly answers. It somehow made using Matlab slightly less tedious.
This is just like all the hidden easter eggs in programs written by most programmers. (The built in screen saver in some versions of Word does not count.)

Re:Matlab

[unitron]

"...The built in screen saver in some versions of Word..."

Is that the blue one with the white letters and the cryptic message?

Totally misread the headline

[cancrman]

I thought it said "The Lighter Side of CSPAN". What a strange /. topic....

I always thought...

[Grim Metamoderator]

...that Perl itself was evidence that Larry Wall had a sense of humor.

More serious modules

[mir]

I can't believe the article did not mention ACME::Bleach which just bleaches your program. Run it once and your code magically disappears... but still runs!

ACME::Buffy is similar, except your program is turned into a Buffy mantra that can be chanted or executed.

In fact the whole ACME name space is reserved just for silly and incredibly useful modules.

They missed another good one

[Marcus Brody]

This is my favourite pointless?? perl module:

Quantum::Entaglement

And who said that quantum computers a centurys away?? You can get started on your 386 right now, courtesy of CPAN!

Also, about that eliza chatbot: there is an easier way to get started (you may have seen this in this months linux journal, non?):

$ emacs
esc
shift-X
doctor

And there you go - a psychotherapist built right into your text editor. Perfect for those times when that fscking bug makes you want to give it all up...

Anyway, next time someone complains about MS bloatware being so cheeky that they included a flight sim in a version of Excel, I shall point this out!

The Song

[TeknoHog]

$tune = $Aerosmith['Pink']

Perl, It's my new obsession
Perl!~/\?/
Perls on the neck of your lover
'coz Perl gives you stuff to discover

Perl at the bin in my /usr
Perl, cos you are no luser
Perl, it's the coding with passion
cos() today it just goes with the Slashdot

Perl, what a mess at first sight
Perl, with the regexps so wild
Perl, gets the lowest of nice


And I think all these bugs are going to multiply no matter what we hack tonight.

- you could be my dromedary
'coz Perl is a lingo so scary
Perl likes its vars with the dollar
it's curled but you don't ever tell 'er, yeah

Perl, what a mess at first sight...

And I think all this code is going to self-rewrite no matter what we eval() tonight.

I want to be your regex
I wanna doc you in latex
Perl on the screens that we key on
Perl, do I hate that one python, yeah

Perl, what a mess at first sight...

And I think all this code is going to multiply no matter what we eval() toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.