Slashdot Mirror
Gamecube Hits US Early
semaj writes "It looks like retailers are being told they can sell them as they come in instead of waiting for the November 18 offical release date. PlanetGameCube has the story. Go!" So, anyone want to get us a review unit or two?
"Christ. Le me just shove it in already."
"No. You have to say it first."
"But..."
"No. Say it. You know I love it when you do."
"*sigh* Mikey likes it."
"C'mon! Say it like you mean it! The Astroglide's drying up over here. Just do it, huh?"
"Mikey likes it!"
"Mmm. Now!"
And with that, michael rammed his turgid member into Hemos' well-travelled dongpath. Watching over all this were CmdrTaco, working on pulverizing the liver lining his VA Li^H^H Software-branded PVC pipe with his diminuitive schlong and Timothy. Saliently missing from the orgy was Jon Katz, who had excused himself from the afternoon's activities to go watch a elementary school boys' soccer game, and fon... err, interview some of the tawny young lads for inspiration for his next groundbreaking article.
As they watched the unnatural union between Hemos and Michael, CmdrTaco noticed tears welling up in Timothy's eyes. Without missing a beat as he continued to sodomize his liverpipe, he began to address him.
"What's wrong, Timothy?"
"*sniff* Nothing. I'm just allergic to something."
"Oh, come on. Don't be so hard like that. It's about VA's stock, isn't it? Listen. We ditched the Linux thing and went with Software instead. Now that people won't associate us with Linux and the whole money pit of open-source software, I'm sure that we'll turn a profit sometime soon. Probably..."
CmdrTaco's monologue was abruptly interrupted by a scream of pain from Hemos.
"Asshole. Don't ream my asshole so hard! Christ. Have you gotten bigger or something?"
CmdrTaco whispered, "Heh. Once we turn a profit, I'll stop watering down their Astroglide, too."
"Geez, Rob. It's not that. The profitability thing."
"Dude. Call me CmdrTaco. No one here can know my name."
Timothy rolled his eyes and continued, "It's just... I don't think Hemos likes me anymore. Is it the trolls taking over my Your Rights Online posts? Because I'll ban more of them. Really I will!"
CmdrTaco patted Timothy on the shoulder, leaving some liver juice residue on his shirt, and said, "Timmy, I think you know what you need to do to get back in his heart."
"You mean..."
"Shh. Just do it."
Timothy skipped out of the room and for a while, nothing was heard but the wet sounds of dongs slapping in and out of liver and dingus. Slowly, a whirring sound came closer and closer. With a grimace on his face, Hemos turned his head in time to see Timothy with a bandage on his head, rolling into the room in a wheelchair.
"TIMMY!"
"Ha ha! Timmy! I knew you'd come back! Roll on over here, baby!"
"TIM-TIM-TIM-AY!"
Timothy rolled over to Hemos and Michael and stopped. In a fluid, well-practiced motion, Hemos hopped up on the arm-rests of the wheelchair, and thrusted his dong into Timothy's slobbering mouth as Michael began to give Timothy a reach-around. Within minutes, each member (no pun intended) of the grotesque orgy hand finished and collapsed on the ground.
Covered in sweat, CmdrTaco was the first to speak up.
"So what'll we do this afternoon?"
"Oh, I don't know. Boot into Windows 98 and play some Diablo II?", Hemos replied.
"Yeah. Sounds good to me," said Timothy.
Michael chimed in, "Hey. After that, I could, uh. Post something about Microsoft? Think of the pageviews!"
"Yeah. That'd be sweet," Timothy replied.
"Ha ha! Just like on South Park! You crazy nut!"
"Speaking of crazy," CmdrTaco added, "I've got a crazy idea..."
Pulling the pearly mistake-covered liver out of the PVC pipe, he continued, "...what about tacos tonight?"
The four shared a hearty laugh.
Hemos blurted "And we can give Katz the tacos without CmdrTaco's special sauce on them!!!"
At this, the four burst out laughing and kept on laughing... all the way to the bank!
Easy does it!
This comment has been submitted already, 276865 hours , 59 minutes ago. No need to try again.
Hey Hemos,
Here's my cock.
Can you review it?
so how many gamecubes can you fit in here?
Obviously there must be a reason for the sucess, but I never buy game machines - I already have plenty of computing devices that can easily be used to play games.
If I'm away from home & desk, I generally have a book in my pocket (Marcus Aurelius typically) that can provide mental stimulation.
I just don't understand the appeal of these dinguses... so I guess this is a troll.
--Charlie
As much as I would like a GameCube early, I must admit that the only game on there so far that I'm looking forward to is Metroid Prime. Everything I've found says it's not coming out until 2002, so I guess that's when I'll be getting my GameCube. If anyone has any different information, let me know.
Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
reply to this please thanks. or email to boycott_msft@hotmail.com to negotiate
I dunno. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's because I'm older than 12. But do gorwn adults actually enjoy playing all of the damned Mario/Luigi, and Pokemon games that are produced for Nintendo? It seems like all of the games are designed for little kids. On the other hand, PS2 has some incredible graphic, violent, adult games like Resident Evil: Codename Veronica and Silent Hill II. I have no interest at all in even considering a GameCube.
because your silly FP adds nothing to the story. we really don't care what you do on your lunch.