Friendships in the IT Workplace?

Greg Cantori asks: "We've seen stuff like this on TV and in movies. Policemen, Firemen, Astonauts, Army guys, etc, all gathered round a BBQ on a sunny weekend, chugging a few cold ones and maybe talking shop, wives and girlfriends preparing salads, kids running round the garden. Middle class bonding and fun, eh? Now, picture your IT workplace. Look around at your workmates. Do *you* get together on weekends? Do your spouses know any personal details of your workmates' spouses, beyond what may have slipped out during a long forgotten company Chistmas ball? Do you go bowling, play poker, or help your colleagues pave the driveway of their new home? Do you even have drinks with them after work? Is it just the professions who share some element of physical danger where this stereotypical bonding occurs, or can it occur with nerdy programmers? What are your experiences with friendships in the code-cutting office?"

Comments

Friendship in the office

[iBod]

About a year ago, I stopped working in an office and now work full time from my office at home.

I get more done and have less distractions but I really do miss the social interaction, the gossip, the afterwork beers etc.

Why is there always this stereotypical assumption that because you cut code for a living you must be some kind of antisocial, introverted misfit? Coders have friends too y'know.

Ask Slashdot?

[Accipiter]

Okay, is social behavior THAT strange a task that we need an Ask Slashdot article about it? I'm still not clear on what the question is, but it seems to boil down to this:

"Am I allowed to be friends with everyone at work?"

You know, most people you work with do enjoy having fun. And most people you work with usually have fun with their friends. Now, if you're a friend of theirs, chances are they'll want to have fun and invite you along. Why? Because you're their friend. That is how friendships work.

I didn't realize this was such a complicated subject. People who are compatible will gravitate toward one another, regardless of the venue.

What do you need, written instructions?

Re:Ask Slashdot?

[Masem]

Actually, there's more of a trick to this than you think.

Any other field outside of IT, where people rarely work more than 40-50hrs a week, it's quite common for workers to mingle after work in activities, have parties for other coworkers, etc. Since you only see these people for maybe upwards of an hour a day on average, they can be friends, or if you have problematic workers, you only have to deal with them for a short time, and thus they don't cause too much social trauma in the workplace. Additionally, 40 hr/wk, plus, say, an addition 10hr/wk with coworker activities, still leaves plenty of personal and family time, so it's balanced well.

In IT, where it's very easy to be required to work 60hr+/wk, you're seeing your coworkers a lot more than just an 1hr a day, and particularly if you have annoying coworkers, every extra minute can add up. Because you're now spending more time at work, you also tend to value your personal time more, and doing outside-work activities with coworkers probably loses out to getting away from them. And typically IT work can be a stressful job given the typical 'gap' between what the IT worker knows and what the customer knows, with the IT worker having to try to bridge that gap. All those factors make for the IT workplace to be potentially socially-stressed.

That's not to say that every IT workplace is like that, and I think that's the gist of this question; is there a commonality to social life of the IT workplace, or are their shining examples or dreadful situations that are worth hearing about?

Re:Ask Slashdot?

[bla]

I've made the experience that IT people generally lack social skills. Some more, some less, but I don't know a IT professional who's a 'party animal'. But maybe I just know the wrong people :-)

i know a lot of "IT geeks" that are complete party animals. most of my friends, actually :) their after-work activities consist mostly of either getting completely stoned and playing PS2 or going to raves/clubs/parties, etc.

one thing we don't do, however, is have BBQs where the guys sit around a throw back a few while the wives prepare salad and yell at the kids. largely this is because we're mostly too young to have kids, but it's also because all the girls in our group are equally IT geeks. we're a bunch of programmers, admins, and graphics people, and that's not delimited by sex at all. the attitudes are different in IT, i think, than in the professions listed in the original question. *shrug* YMMV. but that's been my experience.