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First Looks at Linux DA PDA
e1en0r writes "My Linux DA PDA finally arrived yesterday. It's a great PDA for under $100. I put up a review of it here. It's very similar to the Palm OS, with a few more interesting features. The most notable being the file manager. You can see where everything is and view all the files in text and hexadecimal mode. It also appears that you can overclock the 16 MHz DragonBall CPU up to 25 MHz. There are some screenshots on their site, which include the CPU Speed application. Unfortunately that application is lacking in documentation." The review is a little thin, but its still cool seeing these in the wild.
i really would like somebody to toss my salad... please? i'll return the favor.. thanks :-) oh yeah, snowball me and Cleveland Steamer me while you're at it... thanks
Get that rats nest off your head, you numbskull -- Wesley Willis
Not too long ago I caught a TV news story about the JonBenet Ramsey mess out in Colorado. I'd read about the episode earlier in the NY Times, and aside from a certain revulsion to the sordid details I'm certain all readers felt, I really hadn't reacted to or thought much about the case. But there on the TV screen was footage of JonBenet herself performing at a pageant- all dolled up in mascara, lipstick, pearls, vamping for the camera, and to be perfectly blunt about it, using some very adult sexual cues. It then crossed my mind is it entirely inappropriate that a healthy adult male respond to sexual stimuli that mimic almost perfectly those of a healthy adult female?
Note that I used the words "respond to" not the words "act upon" - the distinction is crucial. It's obviously not appropriate for anyone to have sex with a child that young, but is it wrong to desire it, or at any rate to manifest some of the symptoms of that desire?
Consider the following hypothetical situation A man is sitting in front of a roaring fireplace after a superb evening meal, enjoying the last glass of '86 Latour. There is absolutely nothing on his mind more serious than trying to decide between a snifter of Remy Martin Napoleon or Hennessy X.O. cognac. Outside a horrible winter storm rages. Nursing the last sip or two of wine, he crosses the room to a window near the liquor cabinet and amuses himself for a short while by watching the helpless passers by several stories below bending over against the wind, wading through slush, falling on the ice, etc. . He pours a generous snifter of cognac and before returning to his fireside armchair punches a TV remote to catch a weather update. Sipping his cognac, he nods off to sleep and awakens just in the middle of the JonBenet news story. Not knowing of the horrible crime committed, he watches her little pageant number, entranced. At the end of the number she turns and faces the camera, smiles and ever so subtly lip-syncs the words "fuck me". Now at this precise point in time and under these circumstances is it wrong for the man to feel his penis start to stiffen? It's an interesting question, but one I gave no more thought to till I caught a new product announcement in one of the European business journals I subscribe to.
It turns out that a German company, Cybernetika A.G., has completely cornered a heretofore unrecognized market with the introduction of their Cyber-Fraulein 3000 which has to be the world's most absolutely high-tech love doll. In fairness to the company, I should point out that their own literature stresses that the CF3000 is sold only to bona fide law enforcement agencies and penal institutions for the purpose of rehabilitating repeat criminal pedophiles. Well, we will see.
The customer base for the United States should prove interesting, for some marketing whiz at Cybernetika has made the doll a perfect life-size replica of, you guessed it, JonBenet Ramsey herself. Now German companies are not known for their sense of humor, macabre or otherwise, but when my tears of laughter had dried I realized I had to examine one of these dolls. I got a hold of Dieter von Stroelitz, executive V.P. of Cybernetika and was given the sad news, yes, at this time CF3000 is sold only to law enforcement agencies in the U.S., but in Europe the sales are a bit more "relaxed" as he put it. No problem, an old family friend is county sheriff in a midwestern state that shall go nameless. Call him "Earl", not his real name. Despite being law Earl has a great sense of humor, and has come through before with nifty toys like cans of mace and the odd submachine gun from a drug bust. A nice guy to know. I gave him a call and he said what the fuck, if he doesn't have to fork over any cash he'll get one. A couple of months later I get a call from him and he's laughing so hard he can hardly talk. "Get your ass out here to see this" is about all I can make out. I borrowed a buddy's Merc, grabbed a few bottles of Jack Daniels and got out of town on I-80, cruise set at 75 mph.
This doll is a piece of art. The skin and muscle tissue are a new DuPont polymer marketed as "Dermastyrene". The skin is eerily soft and lifelike. CF3000 uses thousands of small nichrome heating wires throughout the body that connect to a central heating element (110v. AC) that raises the body temperature to a nice 98.6 F. Reprocessed shark cartilage forms the "skeleton", and all joints are fully functional including jaws, neck, and hips. Even the internal organs are accurately represented by silicone filled sacs. Weight 68 lbs. , height 4'3". Hair is real, human, long and blond. JonBenet comes dressed in white anklet socks, cowboy boots, short blue denim skirt, white satin crotch less panties (!), light blue halter top, and beige cowboy hat. Hair and makeup are perfect. Additional outfits are available from the manufacturer. A small set of batteries (which recharge as JonBenet warms up) is provided for playback of about 30 recorded voice messages. A set of dip switches near the AC outlet control language (English, Norwegian, German, Swedish, or Dutch) and message playback mode Auto, Manual or Off. Auto provides random playback. In Manual mode a gentle tug on JonBenet's cute ponytail elicits a message. Some of them are real gems. "I'm wearing my crotch less panties just like you wanted Daddy" or "Ooooh, you're so BIG inside me Daddy" were two of my favorites. In both Auto and Manual mode occasional moans and whimpers are added. Sound quality is superb.
The company literature states that "all three of the sexual orifices are fully functional and incredibly lifelike." I asked Earl, "Hey, you give her a whirl yet?" He took a long pull from my last bottle of Jack and sneered at me, "Shit boy, I wanted to save her cherry for you." There remained the obvious problem of how to test this doll. We thought a little bit, and I asked him, "Who you got in the cells upstairs?" "Already working on it," he replied. There was a knock on the door and a junior deputy came in and handed Earl a file. He started thumbing through it. "Lets see, we got here one Rafael Hernandez, visiting us for grand theft auto and possession with intent to sell, his ass goes up to Joliet in a couple of weeks, two priors for sexual assault on a minor. He's our man!"
My job now was to prep JonBenet for sex. I plugged her in to warm up and found the 3 "body fluid" boxes. Each box held 20 or so plastic packets of fluid for each of her three orifices. There was a simulated saliva with a kind of minty odor for her mouth, a slimy goo labelled "vaginal lubricant", and an incredibly funky grease for her little butt hole. I put on latex gloves and applied the three packets as instructed. By now JonBenet was beginning to warm up nicely. Earl came back downstairs and let me in on the plan. There was a small kitchen and lounge on the first floor. A one way mirror in the lounge allowed officers to watch the room from a hidden hallway near the duty desk. Rafael had been told he could mop the kitchen in return for extra exercise room time, and had readily agreed. When JonBenet was fully warmed up I carried her to the lounge and had her "nap" on the sofa with her little blue denim skirt hiked up to reveal a generous portion of her white satin panties. The effect was damn good, I had to admit. Earl got one of the female officers to sit with Jon Benet and pretend to work on a crossword, while a deputy got Rafael in leg irons and led him down to the lounge and kitchen. When he came in the female officer whispered to Rafael, "Try not to make much noise, her parents were killed in a car wreck and we just finally got her asleep." Rafael nodded silently in reply. He began to putter around in the kitchen then started mopping the floor. After about 5 minutes another officer stuck his head in the lounge and addressed the female officer, "Martha, phone for you, line two". Martha said "Thanks" and got up and left the room, closing the door behind her. Rafael peeked through the kitchen doorway, nervously looking around. Earl and I watched through the one-way. Outside the lounge door six deputies waited with batons, pepper spray, and stun-guns. Rafael got a dust mop from the kitchen closet and started pushing it around the lounge floor till he was next to JonBenet's sofa.
"He's gonna take the bait, I can feel it", said Earl.
Rafael sure as hell looked nervous. Beads of sweat on his forehead, licking his lips, his eyes darted about the room.
"Look, he's got a hard on", I whispered.
"Earl counted, "One, two, three..."
At 3 1/2 seconds Rafael let out a subhuman cry, dropped the dust mop, and grabbed JonBenet by the throat, picked her up, and slammed her head against the top of a heavy oak table.
The blow would have easily killed a 6 year old. Rafael dragged her waist up to the table edge, tugged her panties down (I guess he was too eager to notice they were crotchless), unzipped himself and got down to business.
"When do the cowboys come in?" I asked Earl.
From the look on Rafael's face, that wouldn't take too long. After less than five minutes of furious strokin', he pulled out and shot three monster wads across her peach fuzz, denim skirt, and halter top. He pushed the body forward on the table and rolled her over on her side with her ass near the table edge. He dropped to his knees and started tonguing her little butt hole.
"Get him", Earl barked into his radio. The lounge door burst open and Rafael stood up and tried to get his tool back in his trousers, but the two deputies with stun guns were on him too fast. After a few zaps Rafael was on the floor, and the stun gun detail stepped quickly aside. Three deputies with batons worked him over while one with pepper spray stood off to one side shooting the liquid in his eyes and mouth as he screamed. When they figured all the fight was out of him, they stood him up and cuffed his hands behind him. Martha, who had been "baby sitting" JonBenet went over to her and felt her wrist.
"I'm not getting a pulse", she announced.
"I didn't mean to kill her, so help me God!" Rafael pleaded.
Earl strode into the lounge while I stayed at the mirror. "Get that piece of shit back in his cell", he ordered. Two of the deputies hustled Rafael, penis still dangling from his fly, out of the lounge and over to the elevator. It didn't take too long for the general population to learn that he raped and killed a 6 year old girl while being trusted with cleaning duty. Poor Rafael, it seems he cut himself pretty bad shaving the next morning. Bled to death, in fact.
Earl had all sorts of plans to use JonBenet as a decoy in a couple of local spots. I would have loved to hang around and check it out, but my buddy needed his car back. Martha had cleaned up JonBenet and tested the heating and voice functions. All OK. You gotta hand it to the Germans, they really know how to build shit.
On the drive back east I got to thinking. While Cybernetika had built her as a rehabilitation tool, it seemed to me that CF3000 was going to be much more of a hit as an entrapment vehicle for police, unless some liberal shithead poo-poos it in court. Also, I had to get a hold of Dieter von Stroelitz at Cybernetika to formally request (beg) that CF4000 be a full sized copy of Princess Diana. There must be tens of millions of men who would love to bend Lady Di over the side of the bed, lovingly adjust her tiara, then ram their stiffy dog up her shit chute while she whimpers "Ooooh, don't be too rough with me my little budgie," in that lovely British accent.
By now, all devotees of Slashdot must be familiar with the new sub-genre known simply as "Bukkake". I will not go into an historical/linguistic analysis of the term, but I will attempt to offer a sketch of the genre and ruminate a bit on some of the potential sociological implications of what I see as a significant advance in human behavior.
The original Japanese films portrayed a highly ritualized sex show where a demure young lass, usually in school girl or corporate uniform kneels in the center of a small room. There is usually some visual prop to emphasize her as the center of attention - velvet ropes hung from brass pedestals forming a fence around her, two or three rows of "security guards" who serve to control access to her.
The girl waits patiently, little or no emotion showing on her face as one by one, men who have been masturbating just off camera approach and ejaculate into her face.
Often there will be as many as 75 or 80 men. Sometimes the girl briefly fellates the man of the moment, sometimes not. There is usually no significant sound track ( ie.music or dialogue ) other than a few appreciative grunts and groans from the gents.
Although I find some Japanese women quite attractive, the Japanese bukkake films I've viewed leave me cold, kinda like watching an IBM documentary on their latest mainframe operating system.
Not to worry though, with characteristic Yanqui ingenuity and resolve, the U.S.porn industry has spotted a good idea, and improved it. The U.S. versions are considerably livelier, almost a party atmosphere. Some of the girls really get into the action, after all they are doing the best thing possible for their complexions -the natural vitamins and proteins in cum have long been known to help condition skin.
I'm really enthusiastic about the direction of the U.S. versions, a few of the latest films I've seen have been quite hot, and I think bukkake also has some promise as a general, amateur activity. Talk about a natural fund raiser - how many times have you been driving around and seen a church group or civic club selling car washes ? Now, who the hell wants to wash their car ? I let mine sit in the rain - works just fine.
But suppose you drove past a fire department and saw a large hand-lettered sign that read "Bukkake 5$" . You park, and walk into the station, ( which has been emptied of fire trucks for this occasion ), and lo and behold, a gorgeous brunette Demi Moore look alike is kneeling on a pillow in the center of the garage. Men mill around, drinking draft Heineken from a freshly tapped keg, bullshitting, and stroking their meat. One by one, as the need arises, they drift on over to Demi and shoot their load.
Her hair is streaked with strands of cum, cum hangs from her chin and occasionally falls to her bare breasts - she is grinning like a she-devil - a good time is had by all. Shit, you would donate 5 bucks and join the party, right ?
Bukkake is also a natural initiation rite in a least two ways. First, sororities at some of our rowdier campuses could require that all new members undergo a bukkake.
The beautiful debutante would kneel in the center of a large room in the sorority house while several invited fraternity houses mill around, swilling beer, and, uh, rising to the occasion. The debutante would have to fellate the three largest guys, the rest would have to service themselves. At the crucial moment guys move right next to or in front of the cutie and shoot their load. The whole party would be recorded on video for both the sorority archives and the debutantes scrapbook. ( Interesting item for her future ex-husband don't you think ?)
Football games ( pro and college ) could be made infinitely more interesting if a simple rule was adopted: the losing quarterback=s wife or girlfriend must perform a bukkake for the players and staff of the victorious team. This would take place immediately after the game and be televised live - wow - talk about ratings !
Anyone stuck in Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport would appreciate this scheme: Shitcan 1 large giftshop on each concourse and make it into a bukkake room. Hookers from Greater Atlanta, dressed in cute stewardess outfits would staff each room. Christ, guys would be praying for flight delays.
My final suggestion: For all you guys who have stood in line for 3 or 4 hours at the local Division of Motor Vehicles office waiting for the privilege of paying 20 or 30 bucks for a plastic decal which certifies that you have, uh, spent 20 or 30 bucks, how would you like the cutest female employee at the office to be forced into bukkake for the waiting gents ?
Think the shits would speed up service ? ( Probably not, I can see the end of shift scene now as one female employee consoles another : "Lawdy lawdy Shoneeka , dey sure cum all OVAH you dis afternoon !" ).
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Making Linux run on a PDA was pritty cool.
It showed how flexable Linux really is AND has the additional benifit of producing improved code for the desktop/server Linux code.
It says if needed an imbeded Linux CAN exist. Linux CAN be stuffed ANYPLACE.
I like my Visor Neo...
Can I get a wireless modem for the Linux PDA? Unlikely... But I can plug a wireless into my Neo..
Mom has a wireless built in her Palm IIV
Can I get a camra for the Linux PDA?
Unlikely... But I can plug one into my Neo
Mom has a Kodak she uses on hers...
How about a GPS? Yeah just about every PDA ever made has a GPS. The ill fated Zoomer had a GPS.. My Neo.. moms Palm... but this? Unlikely..
This comes off like a toy.. and hurts the Linux credability...
I'll stick with my Visor thank you..
I don't actually exist.