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Oracle Donates Software for Big Brother Database

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the replication-is-most-popular-feature dept.

8onal writes: "C|Net is reporting that Oracle CEO Larry Ellison has followed through with his threat, I mean promise, to assist with Uncle Sam's crimefighting efforts. "...Ellison said he has delivered Oracle's 9i database management software to a U.S. government agency for national security, but he declined to give further details, such as which agency or for what usage." Seeing as how he has already supplied the CIA with software, I bet it went to another 3-letter group."

6 of 215 comments (clear)

  1. Standards by Iamthefallen · · Score: 4, Funny


    Ein folk, Ein reich, Ein RDBMS?

    What? The form you must fill as you enter the US asking if you're a terrorist, nazi or have participated in any genocides recently isn't enough?

    --
    Wax-Museum Fire Results In Hundreds Of New Danny DeVito Statues
    1. Re:Standards by Tackhead · · Score: 3, Funny
      > Ein folk, Ein reich, Ein RDBMS?
      >
      > What? The form you must fill as you enter the US asking if you're a terrorist, nazi or have participated in any genocides recently isn't enough?

      Nope. It'll have a new line: "Are you now, or have you at any time in the past, administered a Sybase server?"

  2. Another 3-letter group by IainMH · · Score: 4, Funny

    Seeing as how he has already supplied the CIA with software, I bet it went to another 3-letter group

    Not AOL?!! They are the people we fear the most!

    1. Re:Another 3-letter group by Xpilot · · Score: 3, Funny

      The M.I.B.?

      Nah, they use alien technology.

      The I.B.M.?

      Nah, they develop alien technology :)

      --
      "Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it." -- Linus Torvalds
  3. NSA scrutiny by Pig+Hogger · · Score: 3, Funny
    Seeing as how he has already supplied the CIA with software, I bet it went to another 3-letter group.
    ...Where everyone looking at it is having fits of laughter having a look at the "security" features...
  4. Re:Hmmm... Three letters by Tackhead · · Score: 3, Funny
    > The I.R.S!!!

    As long as we're guessing, how about the INS? Lord knows those fucksticks could certainly use the help.

    And it'd be consistent with Ellison "[declining] to give further details, such as which agency or for what usage".

    At the INS, I'd bet the usage would be "Put it in the mailroom for six months. Have an agent take it from the mailroom and put it on the shelf sometime in spring of 2002. Have another agent wipe the dust off the box in 2004. Take the box off the shelf and try to install it on a 4.77 MHz PC/XT in 2007. (Side project: Install a CD-ROM for the PC/XT. Should be done by 2011.) When the installation program reports "not enough RAM" sometime in 2018, write a glowing report to Congress about the wonders of the ongoing INS modernization programme, and how, Real Soon Now, INS will finally be able to stop Bad Guys and illegal aliens from getting into (and staying in) our country, if it weren't for all those goddamn legal aliens we're still spending all our time trying to get rid of through interminably long delays in their paperwork."

    Slashdotters can moderate this as (+1, Funny). INS employees will probably moderate it as (+1, Informative).