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Germany Wants To Put Time Limits On Porn
nappster writes: "According to this article (sorry, it's in German), Germany thinks it can control the Internet, so now it's considering requiring that porn sites restrict their hours to 11pm to 6am. Exactly how they will coerce sites operating outside Germany is not explained, hence the term 'imbecility' that some have used to describe this proposal." Swim through the German with the Fish.
I mean Germany trying to take control beyond its borders... that's sooo twentieth century. Next we're going to here that France is going to "surrender" to this.
What difference will this make? Now you can't jerk off until midnight?
Not to mention that this will be practically impossible to implement.
JANK OFF my penis during the DAY!? ... WHat the FUCK! /? >>. FUcking germans.
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Your honor is perfectly understandishable.
Soon enough, the Internet will have been watered down to contain only that content which is deemed acceptable, world-wide.
Acceptible to EVERYONE at the same time? So your saying the internet will eventually consist of a single bit... I wonder if it will be a "1" or if the "0" faction will try to pass a law against that...
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times." Bill Hicks
The german parliament should remember to notify all search engines that cache images to shut off access to those images during those hours.
Are these hours affected by daylight savings time? It is important that the German farmers have a chance to get their porn during darkness like the rest of the entire German nation.
If a webserver is put in a balloon and is sent to different timezones where it is always day, should the site still be shut down during German nighttime?
They should also remind German porn kings not to move their sites to a different country.
What happens if the text of the website is educational, and is served from a German server, but there happens to be one picture of a sweet nude lady, but the image is on a foreign server?
These are serious issues that the parliament must deal with from the hours of 9 AM to 11 PM only.
The English are known for Tea Time, and now the Germans will be known for Porn Time. What a thing to be associated with! Over here in the states, we simply call it "happy time".
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Siggy, siggy, siggy, can't you see? Sometimes your puns just irritate me.
Well, it's always night *somewhere*
Either you shut the sites down for *everyone's* daytime hours (e.g. no pr0n for you!)
-or-
You shut them down only for *your* daytime hours.
(e.g. go to sites located wherever it's night -- 24/7 pr0n, just like normal) The problem with this is that you cannot tell your wife that you were "just reading the articles" when they happen to be in Chinese & you haven't downloaded the kanji fonts and she wants to know what "£ÑÑü" means.
...I'm horny. And now I have to wait two freaking hours to jerk off. This is nicht gut.
what with time zones being all different and that. however, I have a solution.
We flatten the earth. yup. flatten it. With German industrial ingenuity it shouldn't be a big problem. then we all have roughly the same sunrise and sunset times, therefore allowing germany to restrict opening times in line with other net-opressive nations (Australia - Richard Alston take note)
Of course, how exactly are they going to define "porn", and then how are they going to patrol the net to enforce the whole thing?
It could, of course, be the end to World Unemployment - just give every unemployed person a net connection and ask them to rate porn sites for the German government. SIGN ME UP! I'll quit my job now.
Screw you all! I'm off to the pub
Sorry , becuase of Germany the internet will be closed for the next 12 hours. Please check about again at 11pm CET. ;-)
Cruise TT
www.germanpr0n.com
.......
login:h0rnyN4zi
password:xxxxx*x
Gutentag!
I am being very sorry, but it is currently only 3:30 PM where you are being located. This is meaning that we are not able to be serving you any pr0n until it is being 11 PM your time. Please, it is still early, so going out and trying to get laid, if you are unable to being laid, you may visit us at 11 PM where we will serving you many a good pr0n!
-- Dan
My Pr0n Network is out on International Waters, sattelite-uplinked from a fixed-up Taiwanese Cannery Boat! Take that, decency laws! No one can stop me... unless... oh no, the dolphins! They're... Noooo!
*transmission lost @ source*
A bit? How dare you! That's disgusting! It's far too indecent!
You're saying it yourself. A bit has to be a 1 or a 0.
Look at a 1! See what it resembles! Look at a 0! See what it resembles!
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for one day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime, all the while calling you a miser for not giving him your fish.
Terrorists can't threaten a country's freedom and democracy. Only lawmakers and voters can do that.
Sometimes I think Babelfish was worth doing, simply for the entertainment value. Let's have a look at a couple doozies from today's article:
OK, that wasn't that funny. Here's a better one:
I think this one sums up the whole article:
Of COURSE it is! And possibly the most interesting:
Dinosaur discussions! Fantastic!!
But my favorites are the conversion of people's names into common words... Some of today's quotes are provided by: "franc walter stone Meier", "peace man Schindler"!
I think the next "All your base..." wave won't come from some Chinese game company's pathetic attempt to translate to English, it will come from Slashdot funneling a million people through the fish... any day now the golden nugget of automated translation will be found!
But I guess I shouldn't make fun of Altavista, since at least they have survived this long... in an industry that rarely "writes black numbers". Heeheee I kill me!
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.
This is not about quantity, it's about quality.
A new kind of meat designed to appeal to vegetarians.
I am still debating if this would have been good will I was in college. Would I have gotten more studying done and gotten better grades or would I have stayed up all night and skipped all my classes during the day.
Let the debate rage.
For me I was able to balance the two during the day just fine. Of course when I was in college porn was still genereally free.
If I don't have 24x7 access to top quality German porn, then the terrorists have won!
Next we'll hear that trinary computer research is being firebombed because the new trit contains aspects of both "0" and "1", and is thus an abomination.
(Or maybe we could really jack up the funding, no pun intended, by setting up a trit porn site.)
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
The Anti-Trinary Computing Faction is filing a lawsuit for your use of the word "trit" which sounds a lot like a part of the female body. And as for the unholy union of 1's and 0's, we're dead against that, as well.
You SINNER!
To celebrate the occasion of my 1000th post, I will post no more forever on Slashdot. Goodbye.