Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Offers A Modified Settlement
inepom01 writes: "Just read a story here about Microsoft offering a different settlement proposal- this one would have two other companies join in on the foundation MS is establishing- Connectix and Key Curriculum Press. Since Connectix makes software that lets Windows programs work on Macs, seems like same old Microsoft tricks." gnovos points to another story at MSNBC on the shifting terms of this proposal.
And let the banner hits roll in for OSDN!
Michael Loves Me!
"I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further."
*coo-ahh* *coo-ahh*
She sat at the window watching the evening invade the avenue.
Check it out.
tcd004
why dont' we create a slashdot settlement?
Microsoft will donate new servers to slashdot... of course, the slash code will have to be ported over to visual basic... slashdot's url will change to slashdot.msn.com... and instead of submitters using psuedonyms like EccentricAnomaly, passport will allow them to use their credit card numbers...
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who can count in binary and those who can't.
As you know, Microsoft's first version leaves a lot to be desired, but they successively improve each subsequent version. They same goes for their legal arguments:
... errrr ... business.
Version 1.0: We are shocked, truly shocked that you'd think monopolistic practices are going on here!
Version 2.0: Oooooh!! Judge Jackson is sooooo mean to us.
Version 3.0: The country's at war, the economies in the toilet. If you DOJ staff / State AG's / Judges will just roll over and play dead, we can get on with world domina
[Insert pithy quote here]
Inspired by the terms of the Microsoft settlement, where Microsoft settles by mostly donating CD-ROMs of its software, at a cost of 1/3 of a cent per disc (market value $799), the US Government has declared it will immediately discontinue its practice of paying tax refunds from treasury funds, and instead print new money for any further refunds.
Secretary of the Treasury Paul O'Neill said, "I have learned that it only costs us 6 cents to print a dollar bill. In fact it only costs 6 cents to print any denomination, so I'll be printing a bunch of hundreds for every American."
President Bush praised the plan by saying "We can immediately gave every Americans a tax rebate of $100,000 dollars, at a minimalum cost to the governement. That will really kick-start our economy. That will show the terrorists we won't back down." President Bush added that anyone who disagrees with his plan will suffer the same fate as terrorists.
In appreciation for his excellent idea, Microsoft's Chief Software Architect Bill Gates will be presented a half-million dollar award from the US Government, at a lavish banquet, paid for with the newly-printed dollars.
Interestingly, Mr. Gates requested his award be given to him in the form of gold bars rather than printed currency.
Bill Gates has chosen a punishment that satisfies the DOJ. We don't know what it is yet, but it might have something to do with those rumors of John Ashcroft shopping for soft cushions and comfortable chairs.
And they'll have to rename it "backslashdot."
``Life results from the non-random survival of randomly varying replicators.'' -- Richard Dawkins