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Talk to the Man Who Wants to Oversee Microsoft

Posted by Roblimo on from the we-almost-put-this-in-the-humor-department dept.

Imagine "campaigning" for a job that doesn't exist, may never exist, and is sure to be full of heartburn for anyone who takes it on. Stephen Satchell is a self-declared candidate for the three-person committee the Feds might appoint to ensure Microsoft's future good behavior. Satch is certainly qualified; he's been online nearly forever, he's worked with computer operating systems darn near as long as computers have had operating systems, and he's certainly not afraid to speak his mind. But even the best-qualified job candidates need to be interviewed before they are chosen, and Satch has consented to have Slashdot readers conduct the initial interview in this hiring process. One question per interviewer, please. We'll email him 10 of the highest-moderated questions, and post his answers next week.

7 of 314 comments (clear)

  1. Self-declared? by mcfiddish · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hell, I declare myself a candidate the job. Send me ten questions and I'll answer them. :)

    My understanding is that the proposed committee has one chosen by MS, one by the government, and those two pick the third.

    So what's the process to go from "self-declared" to serious contender for one of the slots?

    1. Re:Self-declared? by laserjet · · Score: 5, Funny

      Candidate,

      What is the first thing you would do when leading Microsoft, besides opening up the source code, and producing a stable code base?

      --
      Moon Macrosystems. Sun's biggest competitor.
  2. Re:What makes you the best man for the job? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do you think that Bill Gates deserved
    to get that pie in his face?

  3. How will you cope with Bill's high CHR? by tomknight · · Score: 4, Funny
    Given Bill's score of 20 CHR (as reported by The Onion), how do you see yourself not being beguiled by his silver tongue and god-like personality?

    Would you require that some of his magic itenms (e.g. his "Polo Shirt of Thalkettoth, which grants a +5 saving throw against anti-trust litigation") be taken away from him?

    Tom.

    --
    Oh arse
  4. What kind of 'inside' power will you have? by inerte · · Score: 2, Funny

    I mean, will you be able to kick at an office's door, shout at Bill and demand "Show me your Sent Items list"?

    Just what kind of privileged information do you expect to have access?

    --
    Buy a Nintendo DS Lite
  5. Practical experience by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Do you know the proper spells for creating a binding pentagram, entrapping diabolic creatures, protecting one's self from demonic possession, and warding evil?

  6. Re:What would you do about a ms-drm os ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    That is not +5 Interesting. The video of me rubbing my cock in some salt is +5 Interesting. Not this. Now shut up and go away. That goes to the guy standing for this Microsoft shit thing as well, by the eay.