Wired on Autism in the Valley

Sad, but just imagine... by Anonymous Coward · 2001-12-16 21:07 · Score: -1, Troll

... a Beowulf cluster of autistic gimps.

Thank you.

--Patrick "Shithook" Bateman

Definitely bad. Definitely bad. by Anonymous Coward · 2001-12-16 21:16 · Score: -1, Troll

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. The Yankee's manager gave me a job as coach for as long as your on the team. Costello: Look Abbott, if your the coach, you must know all the players. Abbott: I certainly do. Costello: Well you know I've net the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team. Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names. Costello: You mean funny names? Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean... Costello: His brother Daffy Abbott: Daffy Dean... Costello: And their French cousin. Abbott: French? Costello: Goofe' Abbott: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third... Costello: That's what I want to find out. Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: Are you the manager? Abbott: Yes. Costello: You gonna be the coach too? Abbott: Yes. Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names. Abbott: Well I should. Costello: Well then who's on first? Abbott: Yes. Costello: I mean the fellow's name. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy on first. Abbott: Who. Costello: The first baseman. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy playing... Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: I'm asking you who's on first. Abbott: That's the man's name. Costello: That's who's name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's who? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: Who's playing first? Abbott: That's right. Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar of it. Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy that gets... Abbott: That's it. Costello: Who gets the money... Abbott: He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and coll- ects it. Costello: Who's wife? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Abbott: What's wrong with that? CoI wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name? Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy. Abbott: Who. Costello: How does he sign... Abbott: That's how he signs it. Costello: Who? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base. Abbott: No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: One base at a time! Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.tello: I'm not changing nobody! Abbott: Take it easy, buddy. Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? Abbott: That's right. Costello: Ok. Abbott: Alright. PAUSE Costello: What's the guy's name on first base? Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him. Costello: Now how did I get on third base? Abbott: Why you mentioned his name. Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Abbott: No. Who's playing first. Costello: What's on base? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third. Costello: There I go, back on third again! PAUSE Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know? Costello: Now who's playing third base? Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third. Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: You don't want who on second? Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta outfield? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya. Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field. Abbott: Who's playing first. Costello: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field? Abbott: No, What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first! Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, he's center field. PAUSE Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The pitcher's name? Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: You don't want to tell me today? Abbott: I'm telling you now. Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott: Tomorrow! Costello: What time? Abbott: What time what? Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching? Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Costello: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Gotta a catcher? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: The catcher's name? Abbott: Today. Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching. Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team. PAUSE Costello: You know I'm a catcher too. Abbott: So they tell me. Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitch- ing on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right. Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about! PAUSE Abbott: That's all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base. Abbott: Yes! Costello: Now who's got it? Abbott: Naturally. PAUSE Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Naturally? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: No you don't you throw the ball to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's different. Costello: That's what I said. Abbott: Your not saying it... Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You throw it to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's what I said! Abbott: You ask me. Costello: I throw the ball to who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Now you ask me. Abbott: You throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn! Abbott: What? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop. THE END

Re:Could Pollution in Silicon Valley Be The Cause? by HanzoSan · 2001-12-16 21:42 · Score: 1, Troll

Haha I've heard some excuses but this one is funny, you actually think silicon valley is polluted? Try going to new york. The enviornment has nothing to do with it.

--
If you use Linux, please help development of Autopac

Re:Could Pollution in Silicon Valley Be The Cause? by Anonymous Coward · 2001-12-16 22:02 · Score: -1, Troll

I doubt it. The niggers and spics in SV are just as dumb as ever, but they don't have autism (God, I wish they did...). This outbreak seems to afflict just the more intelligent races.

Re:Real numbers by CommunistTroll · 2001-12-16 22:05 · Score: 0, Troll

The problem with the article is that it doesn't consider the underlying economic pressures on labor movement.

The rate of Ausbergers in the Silicon Valley tech industry is probably higher then the BBC figures because those people make ideal corporate slaves... just fill them up with Jolt and watch them code!

Talk about pollution etc is just a red herring - look for the economic incentives.

Doctor: by mirwor · 2001-12-16 22:11 · Score: 0, Troll

'Mrs. Smith, here are the results of your amnio. There's a 1 in 10
chance that you'll have an autistic child, or the next Bill Gates. Would you
like to have an abortion?'

Now, that's an easy one...

Spread that Christmas Cheer by Anonymous Coward · 2001-12-16 22:13 · Score: -1, Troll

Re:Every inteligent person is disabled in some way by ConsumedByTV · 2001-12-16 23:33 · Score: 1, Troll

Well I have to say that its great to be schizophrenic to a point.

I think of left field things as well, however I am parinoid. This is a great disservice to all my creative abilitys in some situations.

I can never fully trust someone, and it doesn't help that many people that were supposed to be close to me (mom and dad or lovers etc...) have stabbed me in the back.

It's interesting to think that perhaps my brain is working with some different side effects. I can use it to my advantage sometimes but othertimes I can do nothing. I get bouts of parinoia so badly that I have panic attacks. Because I can think of so many left field things it drives me insane. Talking to myself, hearing voices, etc.

So yes it can be a help, but it could also just turn into an indestingushable mumur like the above things I wrote.

--

"Not my manner of thinking but the manner of thinking of others has been the source of my unhappiness." - M

Re:fp by Anonymous Coward · 2001-12-16 23:55 · Score: -1, Troll

TiMmy! tIMmY!! ,`^.; \|/ |\ O o | | \ p ___| /|\::|:: ::|:: M::Y::M M=/=\=M M| |M M-- --M CRIPPLE FIGHT !!!

NOT A TROLL by Anonymous Coward · 2001-12-17 00:27 · Score: -1, Troll

I thought it was, its not. google doesn't lie.

Re:This is not a disease.. by Anonymous Coward · 2001-12-17 00:38 · Score: -1, Troll

This perception of Asperger's is similar in someways to Dyslexia

Bollocks.

There's nothing wrong with this "Asperger kids" that couldn't be cured with a healthy dose of good old fashioned corporal punishment. It's much easier to blame your kid's bad behaviour to some obscure non-quantifiable disease than take the responsibility for bringing them up good.

WHORES! by dankjones · 2001-12-17 00:49 · Score: 0, Troll

Give em WHORES! and MALE WHORES!

Re:read the article by sholden · 2001-12-17 03:04 · Score: 0, Troll

Neither autism nor asperger's syndrome have been proven to be genetic disorders *at all*.

If one identical twin has autism there is a 75% chance the other does too.

If one fraternal twin has autism there is a 3% chance the other does too (which is still much higher than the rate of autism in the general community).

A large number of people with chomosomal abnormalities are also diagnosed with autism.

All of this is evidence for a genetic component. The fact that the identical twin rate isn't 100% means it is not entirely explained by genetics. But genetics almost certainly plays a large role.

Claiming autism hasn't been 'proven' to be a genetic disorder '*at all*' is a bit far fetched. There is large amounts of evidence. It is not entirely genetic, but it almost certainly plays a part.

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