Slashdot Mirror
Hacking Cassini To Detect Gravity Waves
lennon writes: "With some upgrades to the tracking equipment, NASA is going to try to detect gravitational waves by tracking the speed of the Cassini probe. They've tried this with other spacecraft, but the sensors have evolved since then. Complete press release is here. Looks like a neat hack."
I fuck santa's elves in their tiny little asses.
Roadkill is yummy.
Cassini is a gay name for a gay probe.
Didn't they do this awhile back? I remember a map of the gravitational pull on different parts of the earth...
I'm a minister!
Christmas: Fuck you. Hard, with a goat penis.
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
There was already a story on this earlier this summer.
and a great page on
space clocks and frequency control technology
Sounds like string theory in applied science. Could anyone explain/comment how much of string theory affect research in space travel?
I understand the methodology (well, as much as can be deduced from a press release...) of the measurement, but could other factors cause apparent--or real--shifts in relative velocity? For example: mini planets, large asteroids, or lopsided planets could cause variation in the gravitational force exerted on Cassini and said object, altering the relative velocity of the probe. Someone enlighten me!
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
During Christmas vacation of 1974, my father flew us all to Disney
World by route of Tampa, Florida. Ignorant of geography, it did not
occur to me that Tampa was out of the way to Disney World until my
father drove the rented van to the gates of MacDill Air Force Base.
Military personnel met me there and escorted me into the base TOP
SECRET high tech mind control conditioning facility for "behavioral
modification" programming. This was the first in what became a
routine series of mind control testing and/or programming sessions
on government installations that I would endure throughout my
Project Monarch victimization.
Whether I was in a military, NASA, or government building, the
procedure for maintaining me under total mind control remained
consistent with Project Monarch requirements. This included prior
physical and/or psychological trauma; sleep, food, and water
deprivation; high voltage electric shock; and hypnotic and/or
harmonic programming of specific memory compartments/ personalities.
The high tech equipment and methodisms I endured from that time on
gave the U.S. government absolute control of my mind and life. I had
been literally driven out of my conscious mind and existed only
through my programmed subconscious. I lost my free will, ability to
reason, and could not think to question anything that was happening
to me. I could only do as I was told.
In the summer of 1975, my family drove all the way from Michigan to
the Teton Mountains of Wyoming. I was ordered to ride in the back
storage area of the family Chevy Suburban since I was forbidden to
associate or communicate with my brothers and sister. So I dissociated
into books, or into the metaphorical, hypnotic suggestions from my
father and tranced deeper as I watched the prairie's seemingly endless
sea of "amber waves of grain" streak past my window. Once when we
stopped at a gas station, my father took me inside to show me a
stuffed "jackalope" mounted on the wall. Due to my tranced, dissociative
state and high suggestibility level, I believed it was indeed a cross
between a jack rabbit and antelope. It was 100+ degrees in the Badlands
when it cooled down at night. The intense heat of the day accentuated
my ever increasing thirst. My father was physically preparing me though
water deprivation for the intense tortures and programming I would endure
in Wyoming.
Dick Cheney, then White House Chief of Staff to President Ford, later
Secretary of Defense to President George Bush, documented member of the
Council on Foreign relations (CFR), and Presidential hopeful for 1996,
was originally Wyoming's only Congressman. Dick Cheney was the reason my
family had traveled to Wyoming where I endured yet another form of
brutality -- his version of "A Most Dangerous Game," or human hunting.
It is my understanding now that A Most Dangerous Game was devised to
condition military personnel in survival and combat maneuvers. Yet it was
used on me and other slaves known to me as a means of further conditioning
the mind to the realization there was "no place to hide," as well as
traumatize the victim for ensuing programming. It was my experience over
the years that A Most Dangerous Game had numerous variations on the
primary theme of being stripped naked and turned loose in the wilderness
while being hunted by men and dogs. In reality, all "wilderness" areas
were enclosed in secure military fencing whereby it was only a matter of
time until I was caught, repeatedly raped, and tortured.
Dick Cheney had an apparent addiction to the "thrill of the sport." He
appeared obsessed with playing A Most Dangerous Game as a means of
traumatizing mind control victims, as well as to satisfy his own perverse
sexual kinks. My introduction to the game occurred upon arrival at the
hunting lodge near Greybull, Wyoming, and it physically and psychologically
devastated me. I was sufficiently traumatized for Cheney's programming, as
I stood naked in his hunting lodge office after being hunted down and
caught. Cheney was talking as he paced around me, "I could stuff you and
mount you like a jackalope and call you a two legged dear. Or I could
stuff you with this (he unzipped his pants to reveal his oversized penis)
right down your throat, and then mount you. Which do you prefer?"
Blood and sweat became mixed with the dirt on my body and slid like mud
down my legs and shoulder. I throbbed with exhaustion and pain as I stood
unable to think to answer such a question. "Make up your mind," Cheney
coaxed. Unable to speak, I remained silent. "You don't get a choice,
anyway. I make up your mind for you. That's why you're here. For me to
make you a mind, and make you mine/mind. You lost your mind a long time
ago. Now I'm going to give you one. Just like the Wizard (of Oz) gave
Scarecrow a brain, the Yellow Brick Road led you here to me. You've 'come
such a long, long way' for your brain, and I will give you one."
The blood reached my shoes and caught my attention. Had I been further
along in my programming, I perhaps would never have noticed such a thing
or had the capability to think to wipe it away. But so far, I had only
been to MacDill and Disney World for government/military programming.
At last, when I could speak, I begged, "If you don't mind, can I please
use your bathroom?"
Cheney's face turned red with rage. He was on me in an instant, slamming
my back into the wall with one arm across my chest and his hand on my
throat, choking me while applying pressure to the cartorid artery in my
neck with his thumb. His eyes bulged and he spit as he growled, "If you
don't mind me, I will kill you. I could kill you -- Kill you -- with my
bare hands. You're not the first and you won't be the last. I'll kill
you any time I goddamn well please." He flung me on the cot-type bed that
as behind me. There he finished taking his rage out on me sexually.
On the long trip back to Michigan, I lay in a heap behind the seats of
the Suburban, nauseated and hurting from Cheney's brutality and high
voltage tortures, plus the whole Wyoming experience. My father stopped
by the waterfalls flowing through the Tetons to "wash my brain" of the
memory of Cheney. I could barely walk through the woods to the falls for
the process as instructed, despite having learned my lessons well from
Cheney on following orders.
The next year when our "annual" trip to Disney World rolled around, my
father drove, pulling his new Holiday Rambler Royale International trailer.
My father dropped me off en route at the Kennedy Space Center in Titusville,
Florida where I was subjected to my first NASA programming. From then on, I
was "obsessed" with following the "Yellow Brick Road" to Nashville,
Tennessee. Moving to Nashville was all I could talk about. If anyone asked
me the question I could not think to ask myself "Why?", I would respond by
reiterating it was something "I had to do."
Michael Loves Me!
Hacking is illegal. Throw the goddamn bastards in jail or better yet send them to Afghanistan. Either you're with me, or you're with the hackers.
Dear Alice,
I am a student at the School of Engineering and Applied Science. Recently, I have become obsessive with a fellow classmate. I think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I have done nothing for the past few months but masturbate just thinking about her. I was wondering if there is anything I can do to make me forget her. I have become so obsessed with her that I am contemplating raping her.
--Contorted fantasies
---
Dear Contorted fantasies,
Alice gave you this name herself, so you understand that there is a difference between fantasizing about a woman and actually raping her. RAPE IS A CRIME, PUNISHABLE BY LAW, and Alice encourages you not to forget that. Did you ever consider asking her out for a date? That seems more logical than raping her, if you are interested in her. If this didn't even cross your mind, please go for counseling. There are many talented therapists at Health Services who can help you distinguish between fantasy and reality, and develop your social skills and a sense of positive sexuality. Call x4-2468 for an appointment, or just walk-in SOON.
How on earth are they communicating with the probe if it is on the other side of the Sun?
Though that might be the source of the gravitational waves they are measuring... hrm...
Zapman
Hey Colman! Can you imagine a beowulf cluster of these babies?!
What I find truly interesting about all this is not just that they are measuring the velocity changes (the acceleration) of the Cassini probe, but that after getting back the information of the forces at work, they will have to somehow determine exactly where the gravitational waves are coming from.
Think of it this way: If two planets are on opposite sides of the probe, and both are emitting gravitational forces, then the probe will be subjected to the net forces of the two planets. The equation for relative force of gravity comes to mind here, and I assume they will be using it when calculating multiple sources of gravity.
(GmM)/(R^2) gives the acceleration of the system for two masses in space, so any resultant force must take into account that it could come from several different masses.
JPL engineers have carefully instrumented a large dish antenna at the Deep Space Network's Goldstone complex near Barstow, Calif., to send and receive the higher frequencies with unprecedented Doppler sensitivity. The upgrade includes refined pointing capability needed to exploit the higher frequencies, said Sami Asmar, supervisor of JPL's Radio Science Group. Other new equipment at Goldstone will allow researchers to correct for the atmosphere's distortion of radio transmissions and improve performance of the search.
As I see it, the trickiest thing here will be taking the "exquisitely accurate measurements" and turning them into real, useable models of gravity given off by our neighboring planets.
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g g o / \ \ / \ o a \ a t `. : t s` \ s e \ / / \\\ -- \\ : e x \ \/ --~~ ~-- \ x * \ \-~ ~-\ * g \ \ .--------.___\ g
o \ \// ((> \ o
a \ . C ) ((> / a
t /\ C )/ \ (> / t
s / /\ C) (> / \ s
e ( C__)\___/ // _/ / \ e
x \ \\// (/ x
* \ \) `---- --' *
g \ \ / / g
o / \ o
a / \ \ a
t / / \ t
s / / \/\/ s
e / e
x x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
It will be interesting to see whether this experiment gets the results everyone seems to be anticipating, or mirrors the 'success' of the Michelson-Morley experiment.
...'" — Isaac Asimov
The Laser Interferometer Space Antenna (LISA) (launching in 2009) should return significantly better data, but it'll be nice to get a sneak preview from Cassini.
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny
but i wanna know what these "gravitational waves" LOOK like!
Hey moderators, lay off the crack pipe. This guy had a legitimate question, and I would like to read the answer to his question as well.
FuckedCompany has much more free boards than slashdot, they would tolerate you too! :)
There is this girl at school that I really like she is the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning. I am pretty sure she has absolutely no interest in me but we have been pretty good friends for about 2 months. I have become very depressed and am only happy when I am around her. I have explained this situation to her best friend and she insures me that she only likes me as a friend. I don't think I can go on without seeing her. I am becoming really depressed. What should I do?
:) It's perfectly common to develop strong crushes on people, so don't be so hard on yourself to think that what you're feeling is wrong. I am sure this girl is very sweet and you find a lot of things about her that you like. I'm sure she knows this and is very flattered. The thing that becomes the problem is when guys or girls say "I just want to be friends" people never accept that as a good thing. Most people think that when you get that response from someone you like that it means they don't like you. While that maybe somewhat true, I disagree. Why? Because I think you should feel honored that such a sweet girl wants to be your friend. If you continue to just be her friend, go out, hang out, talk to her, and be yourself rather that concentrating on "going out" with her, than you never know what could develop between you two. After all, you've just been talking for a little bit.
:)
:)
male, 22 yrs
Canada
Answers
Dear Matt, There's a story about a man who lost a his key inside his dark house. He went outside under the street light, where it was brighter, to look for it. He was looking and looking, but he could never find it. The reason was because this key wasn't under the streetlight, where he could see everything, but it was inside his dark scary house, where he never bothered to look.
Sometimes when we look inside of ourselves, it's so dark and it's scary, and we don't know where to look because we can't see, but that's where everything is. Our own happiness lies within ourselves. I think it's more worthwhile to rummage around in the dark and try to find the key than to look outside, where it's bright and safe, because you're only wasting your time looking for something you will never find.
There's nothing wrong with thinking about or caring for or loving people, but relying on them for your happiness isn't healthy, because they might not always be there.... and what then? As individuals we each have our own journey, sometimes journies will coincide side by side but they will never become one. We each walk our own path...
What should you do? Discover yourself, find what makes you happy. Your likes/dislikes, dreams, goals in life. People can make you happy, but they can't be substituted as your happiness...
Love, Joe
Hi Matt
So I suggest that you back off for a bit. She knows you're interested so just work on being a friend, and being yourself around her and you have to realize that some things aren't meant to be. I don't necessarily think you have an obsession, but just a strong crush on her and once you begin to feel more comfortable around her, the strong feelings may become even stronger, but I think they'll be easier for you to handle and you'll be more relaxed around her. I hope that helps
Warm Smiles... Julie
Did you remember to sodomize a Linux user today?
I buttplugged three of em.
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
how long before the FCC declares itself the guardian of the gravtational frequency band and starts selling portions to the highest bidder? :)
Free Techno/Jazz/DNB/MI Music by guys obsessed with monkeys!
That story is way too normal for /.!
Side info: If you held open a matchbox in space, it would contain about 6 hydrogen atoms.
Security through promiscuity is no better than security through obscurity.
All your gravitic belong to us.
You know, those things with density so high that not even gravity can escape them?
27 of 41 posts are at '0' or '-1'. I claim this article for the Troll Empire!
Michael Loves Me!
2. Mudslide - For those with access to a garden hose, try a Mudslide. When your ho's drunk as Dean Martin sometime, pull your meatbag out of her kornhole and quickly jam the hose up the vacant cavity. Turn on the faucet full blast and stand back. Before you know it her eyes will bug out and a flow of Haitian river water will stain your sheets. I suggest writing her name in big red letters and hanging the sheet on the front of your house for all to see. For added pleasure, call her a dumb cunt and jerk off in her eyes. She'll thank you.
3. The Mugger - Some how your cock ends up in some hogs mouth and an unwanted thumb ends up in your chute. You retaliate back at your opponent by releasing a gust of swamp ass. You can guarantee that she would have rather been hit in the face with pepper spray.
4. Skull Cap - Your sitting on a couch or chair (preferably watching Baywatch). She's in front on her knees with your sack in her mouth. While she is sucking... you are stroking. As you begin your joyous release, grab the base of your shaft and (as hard as you can) tattoo her forehead with your cock. When done properly a full impression of a mushroom should be left on her bean.
5. Stumpin - (caution, this move requires imagination and balance). As you hover over a quadruple amputee, carefully insert what's left of her arms up your ass while using her knarled thighs to whack off. This should produce a stream of spunk which should land where a normal persons feet would be. You've now been stumpin.
6. The Circus Seal - press the twins to one side of your sack and let them fall from the hole in your BVD's. This should produce a beachball effect (painting your tool bag is optional). Proceed to straddle your dates face and pummel her nose with your bag of marbles. This works best when performed with a relative.
7. Slim Shady - This is when two cock chuggers get stuck together while riding the mudpole (similar to when two dogs get stuck). If you ever come across this situation... DONT IGNORE IT. Check the room and see if there's a third shit eater (there probably is). After you find him rip his meat bag off and jam it down his throat. Take your time and make sure he swallows every ounce of his own nut sauce. As for the other two "Faaags" put a leash around the lead "mo" and drag them both into a van or pick-up truck. Proceed to the worst part of town and dump them off. This act of deviance is not sexual but it sure is fun.
8. The Gummy Bear - is easily performed on a sleeping grandmother. While the old bag is in a pharmaceutical haze with her teeth in a glass, straddle her wrinkled mug and jam your naughty boy down her throat (through her gums) blowing your jack down her withered esophagus. If she wakes up, just tell her she forgot to take her pills and you were helping her. A fun variation on this is to turn around just as she wakes up, put her dentures in your ass and start screaming at her like a wild talking asshole (which, of course, you are).
9.The Pit Stop - You've spent all night boozing and courting a local slob, now it's time to go back to her place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down her throat. When her lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that's been building for hours. Her look of horror would normally be enough reward, but as she evacuates, her coughing and your continual stream will mark all of your territory, leaving you with even greater satisfaction. You won't be able to stop, so if she chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of her abode, she'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.
10. ET - Next time you've got some dumb-ass fuck puppet ready to go, grab her purse and excuse yourself to the can while the drunken whore waits, lost in her own tangled bush. Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her purse while making fake shit noises. Flush the toilet for effect then grab the cordless phone on the way back to bed. As soon as you find yourself stabbing her bucket with your jonny, dial the number and hold the phone near her head with same hand your pulling hair with and bang away. Make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like fat cocks up your dirt road don't you?". Then throw the phone on the bed and tell it's for her. A nice topper to this maneuver is to take her money and throw her outside nude and lock the door. I like to threaten to kill her if I ever see her again. You might have your own closing. Have fun. Be creative.
11. The Wooden Indian - Next time your banging a gook, stuff an old dime store wooden Indian up her cunt 'till she's dead. Then throw her in front of a truck. I call this the wooden Indian I think you will too. Great around the holidays. In the event an officer of the law should catch you, just mutter incoherently about Pearl Harbor and Nazis. You're sure to get off.
12. Oscars Treat - This ones for the outdoor enthusiasts: Make sure your next "first time" date is on the night before trash day. As you greet the "ho" at her front door you tell her that because of your OCD you have a ritual you must perform before you begin the date. Being the gentleman that you appear to be she obliges. Before the tuna machine knows what hit her, grab the rope from the front seat of your truck and hog tie her to the curbside mailbox. Quickly strip her rotten, and with the respect of a sailor on leave... fill every orifice with the nearby garbage. After giving her a few rabbit punches, spank one out in the mailbox and go home.
13. The Pitchfork - Pick up any Stevie Wonder lovin' blind slut... and while your fucking her dog, beat her senseless with that ridiculous cane. Because you're definitely gone straight to hell!
14. Puppy Love - It's Sunday morning and you're robbing a girlscout of her dignity and her future by giving her a sausage enema. You turn slowly only to find her pregnant basset hound chowing down on your filthy hole. With a swift kick to the doggy cunt of your attacker, you release a spew of bloody premature puppies from that bitches open wound. You than gather up their limp bodies and fire them rapidly at the girlscouts head hoping to connect with one fatal blow. If that doesn't work, fuck her again and then kill her and stuff the puppies up her ass. P.S. kick the dog again before you leave
15. The Big Top - Next time your at a carnival drag out the Fat Lady and a couple of midgets. Take them to the roof of tallest building in the city. Then have that fat ass shave each kickstand completely bald. When she gets done... role the nude little bastards in a ball and position them on each side of you. Stand up straight and start spitting up in the air while yelling "I'm a cock.... I'm a cock". Congratulations you are now the biggest dick in town. Before getting off the roof, FIST the fatty in the can and chuck the midgets off head first. This trick is slightly more fun while wearing a red rubber nose.
16. The Al Bundy - This activity is recommended for every married scum out there who's trying to do the right thing. While out with the boys you realize that you are surrounded by meat melons. To keep your mind off the screaming beaver go up to hottest hole in your grasp and begin to entertain her with your sharp wit. Classic one liners like "say your a toilet" & "put it in your mouth" or the always popular "show me your bush" should quickly win her over. The result is consistently a hearty kick to the nuts... and when you untangle them from your intestine, thank her for saving your lousy marriage.
17. Broken Necklace - A variation to the ever popular pearl necklace. It's that time of the month again and your slob has asked you once again to buy her something. "No problem" jewelry is what she wants, jewelry is what she'll get. Take the little monkey upstairs and force her to chug your turkey baster. After about ten minutes of fucking that hole in her face, pull it out and begin spanking all over her upper chest. Before you finish, take out the real thing from her jewelry box and choke her with it. As she turns blue take her empty purse and stuff it up her hairy patch. From then on she'll immediately appreciate the T-Shirt you got her last Christmas.
18. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, (her, on her back, you straddle her chest) you proceed to shit on her chest--just for the hell of it. She then becomes the "Lunch Lady."
19. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
20. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This should give you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
21. Golden Shower - Any form of dropping piss all over a girl.
22. Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
23. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty woman and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
24. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you pull your penis back slightly before poking it back into the inside of her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to that of a purple mushroom.
25. The Flying Camel - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like you would imagine a flying camel to sound like. Strictly a class move.
26. Fishhook - A variation of "The Shocker" (an uninvited digit placed in the girl's anus ) in which, with the finger still up there, you "hook" back in the direction the pussy. No real purpose here other than to think to yourself while doing it, "ahhh yes the Fishhook......". Another variation called the "New Jersey Meathook" involves sticking your uninvited digit in the girl's anus while fucking her from behind. You finger is then turned upward toward her back and you pull her entire body toward you over and over while she is sliding on your cock.
27. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
28. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
29. Felching - It occurs after you have been sticking your babe in the can, you bust your nut in there, back up and then pucker your lips up to her rim and suck out your ranch dressing. (This is also the first step of a very advanced maneuver called the Halmstad Hook).
30. Tossing Salad - One person simply chows box or asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. lettuce, tomatoes, croutons, vinegar and oil, etc.
31. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits and or a large lock of hair as tight as possible and yell another girl's name or state "Ya know your by far the ugliest girl I ever fucked". This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
32. Pink glove - This frequently happens during a marathon session (maybe a second round) when a girl is simply not wet enough. When you give up and attempt to pull out to give her money or whatever, the inside of her twatsticks to your hog like the inside of a leather glove. Thus, the pink glove
33. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing. Then spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). This is also a variation of the first stage of a Cleveland Steamer to be described later.
34. New York Style Taco - (Also known as a wet Betsy) - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. All the fixin's.
35. The Durty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name could be Dirty Sanchez. A very popular European variation of this maneuver called "The Hitler" involves a simple shit smudge under her nose, replicating the look of Hitler's mustache.
36. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass, thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. At that point, you have received a "Fish Eye."
37. Tuna Melt - Lights out, you're down on a chick lapping away at an unusually juicy slab when you discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. A man of honor, by no means do you stop. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face. (this only work with chicks who REALLY cum hard).
38. Pole Vault - Originated by ancient Romans. When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus. This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar. Bruce Jenner added this to his warm-up routine after losing to Sergie Bubka in the 1979 Olympics.
39. Furr Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, you don't mind though, that is until a mammoth furr ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her. 23. The Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
40. A Hot Carl - A simple maneuver where you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning. Apparently some guy named Carl first tried this.
41. The Cleveland Steamer - Mentioned above. After dumping your load on and around her chest--you position your ass just above your own pool of soup and sit in it, full weight, possibly causing her to gasp for breath. You then pretend to be pulling the whistle cord on a genuine Cleveland steam ship. As you make the loud noise you slide in your spunk from her chest to her bush smearing a spunk trail on her body in your wake. This can be done with the male facing either direction. The more authentic the steam whistle sound, the better.
42. The Halmstad Hook - As mentioned above in #12. This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.
43. Rapp-N-Poke - It's sat. night in the hood and you're lookin to stuff the Ho of the week. After the bitches 9 juveniles hit the streets for their evening violence,you stroll up in you're beat-up Cadillac an hour late with two quarts of mad dog to set the mood. Don't forget to stop along the way to sell a glock and two rocks of crack to some under aged criminals. Now start the evening by yelling,"come here you black bitch and suck my meat" Dip your oversized nigger-cock into some Kool-Aid and stuff it between her dishlipps. Constantly beat her like the slave that she is and pound your fist into that bubble ass. Now whack off into a bucket of extra crispy and put it over her head so she can't see the watermelon that you're about to volley off of her thick skull. After you shoot her, go to the porch, sit down, and don't work for the rest of your life.
1. Tea Bag - This act requires some additional tools: a handset from your neighbors phone, a rubber mallet from his tool box, and while your in his garage you might as well take his softball. These objects or ones similar should work well. Oooh ya don't forget a piece of lemon. As she lies on her back, you straddle her on your knees. Once your facing your opponents hairy patch, start to shove one object at a time into her hole (unlubricated works best). The pain or the embarrassment should keep her mouth open for quite a while. By the time you get to the softball she should be ready. While crouching over her proceed to dip your nuts into her mouth. Bite some lemon while doing this and continue the process. You are now tea bagging the slob.
2. Mudslide - For those with access to a garden hose, try a Mudslide. When your ho's drunk as Dean Martin sometime, pull your meatbag out of her kornhole and quickly jam the hose up the vacant cavity. Turn on the faucet full blast and stand back. Before you know it her eyes will bug out and a flow of Haitian river water will stain your sheets. I suggest writing her name in big red letters and hanging the sheet on the front of your house for all to see. For added pleasure, call her a dumb cunt and jerk off in her eyes. She'll thank you.
3. The Mugger - Some how your cock ends up in some hogs mouth and an unwanted thumb ends up in your chute. You retaliate back at your opponent by releasing a gust of swamp ass. You can guarantee that she would have rather been hit in the face with pepper spray.
4. Skull Cap - Your sitting on a couch or chair (preferably watching Baywatch). She's in front on her knees with your sack in her mouth. While she is sucking... you are stroking. As you begin your joyous release, grab the base of your shaft and (as hard as you can) tattoo her forehead with your cock. When done properly a full impression of a mushroom should be left on her bean.
5. Stumpin - (caution, this move requires imagination and balance). As you hover over a quadruple amputee, carefully insert what's left of her arms up your ass while using her knarled thighs to whack off. This should produce a stream of spunk which should land where a normal persons feet would be. You've now been stumpin.
6. The Circus Seal - press the twins to one side of your sack and let them fall from the hole in your BVD's. This should produce a beachball effect (painting your tool bag is optional). Proceed to straddle your dates face and pummel her nose with your bag of marbles. This works best when performed with a relative.
7. Slim Shady - This is when two cock chuggers get stuck together while riding the mudpole (similar to when two dogs get stuck). If you ever come across this situation... DONT IGNORE IT. Check the room and see if there's a third shit eater (there probably is). After you find him rip his meat bag off and jam it down his throat. Take your time and make sure he swallows every ounce of his own nut sauce. As for the other two "Faaags" put a leash around the lead "mo" and drag them both into a van or pick-up truck. Proceed to the worst part of town and dump them off. This act of deviance is not sexual but it sure is fun.
8. The Gummy Bear - is easily performed on a sleeping grandmother. While the old bag is in a pharmaceutical haze with her teeth in a glass, straddle her wrinkled mug and jam your naughty boy down her throat (through her gums) blowing your jack down her withered esophagus. If she wakes up, just tell her she forgot to take her pills and you were helping her. A fun variation on this is to turn around just as she wakes up, put her dentures in your ass and start screaming at her like a wild talking asshole (which, of course, you are).
9.The Pit Stop - You've spent all night boozing and courting a local slob, now it's time to go back to her place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down her throat. When her lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that's been building for hours. Her look of horror would normally be enough reward, but as she evacuates, her coughing and your continual stream will mark all of your territory, leaving you with even greater satisfaction. You won't be able to stop, so if she chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of her abode, she'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.
10. ET - Next time you've got some dumb-ass fuck puppet ready to go, grab her purse and excuse yourself to the can while the drunken whore waits, lost in her own tangled bush. Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her purse while making fake shit noises. Flush the toilet for effect then grab the cordless phone on the way back to bed. As soon as you find yourself stabbing her bucket with your jonny, dial the number and hold the phone near her head with same hand your pulling hair with and bang away. Make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like fat cocks up your dirt road don't you?". Then throw the phone on the bed and tell it's for her. A nice topper to this maneuver is to take her money and throw her outside nude and lock the door. I like to threaten to kill her if I ever see her again. You might have your own closing. Have fun. Be creative.
11. The Wooden Indian - Next time your banging a gook, stuff an old dime store wooden Indian up her cunt 'till she's dead. Then throw her in front of a truck. I call this the wooden Indian I think you will too. Great around the holidays. In the event an officer of the law should catch you, just mutter incoherently about Pearl Harbor and Nazis. You're sure to get off.
12. Oscars Treat - This ones for the outdoor enthusiasts: Make sure your next "first time" date is on the night before trash day. As you greet the "ho" at her front door you tell her that because of your OCD you have a ritual you must perform before you begin the date. Being the gentleman that you appear to be she obliges. Before the tuna machine knows what hit her, grab the rope from the front seat of your truck and hog tie her to the curbside mailbox. Quickly strip her rotten, and with the respect of a sailor on leave... fill every orifice with the nearby garbage. After giving her a few rabbit punches, spank one out in the mailbox and go home.
13. The Pitchfork - Pick up any Stevie Wonder lovin' blind slut... and while your fucking her dog, beat her senseless with that ridiculous cane. Because you're definitely gone straight to hell!
14. Puppy Love - It's Sunday morning and you're robbing a girlscout of her dignity and her future by giving her a sausage enema. You turn slowly only to find her pregnant basset hound chowing down on your filthy hole. With a swift kick to the doggy cunt of your attacker, you release a spew of bloody premature puppies from that bitches open wound. You than gather up their limp bodies and fire them rapidly at the girlscouts head hoping to connect with one fatal blow. If that doesn't work, fuck her again and then kill her and stuff the puppies up her ass. P.S. kick the dog again before you leave
15. The Big Top - Next time your at a carnival drag out the Fat Lady and a couple of midgets. Take them to the roof of tallest building in the city. Then have that fat ass shave each kickstand completely bald. When she gets done... role the nude little bastards in a ball and position them on each side of you. Stand up straight and start spitting up in the air while yelling "I'm a cock.... I'm a cock". Congratulations you are now the biggest dick in town. Before getting off the roof, FIST the fatty in the can and chuck the midgets off head first. This trick is slightly more fun while wearing a red rubber nose.
16. The Al Bundy - This activity is recommended for every married scum out there who's trying to do the right thing. While out with the boys you realize that you are surrounded by meat melons. To keep your mind off the screaming beaver go up to hottest hole in your grasp and begin to entertain her with your sharp wit. Classic one liners like "say your a toilet" & "put it in your mouth" or the always popular "show me your bush" should quickly win her over. The result is consistently a hearty kick to the nuts... and when you untangle them from your intestine, thank her for saving your lousy marriage.
17. Broken Necklace - A variation to the ever popular pearl necklace. It's that time of the month again and your slob has asked you once again to buy her something. "No problem" jewelry is what she wants, jewelry is what she'll get. Take the little monkey upstairs and force her to chug your turkey baster. After about ten minutes of fucking that hole in her face, pull it out and begin spanking all over her upper chest. Before you finish, take out the real thing from her jewelry box and choke her with it. As she turns blue take her empty purse and stuff it up her hairy patch. From then on she'll immediately appreciate the T-Shirt you got her last Christmas.
18. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, (her, on her back, you straddle her chest) you proceed to shit on her chest--just for the hell of it. She then becomes the "Lunch Lady."
19. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
20. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This should give you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
21. Golden Shower - Any form of dropping piss all over a girl.
22. Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
23. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty woman and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
24. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you pull your penis back slightly before poking it back into the inside of her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to that of a purple mushroom.
25. The Flying Camel - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like you would imagine a flying camel to sound like. Strictly a class move.
26. Fishhook - A variation of "The Shocker" (an uninvited digit placed in the girl's anus ) in which, with the finger still up there, you "hook" back in the direction the pussy. No real purpose here other than to think to yourself while doing it, "ahhh yes the Fishhook......". Another variation called the "New Jersey Meathook" involves sticking your uninvited digit in the girl's anus while fucking her from behind. You finger is then turned upward toward her back and you pull her entire body toward you over and over while she is sliding on your cock.
27. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
28. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
29. Felching - It occurs after you have been sticking your babe in the can, you bust your nut in there, back up and then pucker your lips up to her rim and suck out your ranch dressing. (This is also the first step of a very advanced maneuver called the Halmstad Hook).
30. Tossing Salad - One person simply chows box or asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. lettuce, tomatoes, croutons, vinegar and oil, etc.
31. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits and or a large lock of hair as tight as possible and yell another girl's name or state "Ya know your by far the ugliest girl I ever fucked". This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
32. Pink glove - This frequently happens during a marathon session (maybe a second round) when a girl is simply not wet enough. When you give up and attempt to pull out to give her money or whatever, the inside of her twatsticks to your hog like the inside of a leather glove. Thus, the pink glove
33. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing. Then spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). This is also a variation of the first stage of a Cleveland Steamer to be described later.
34. New York Style Taco - (Also known as a wet Betsy) - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. All the fixin's.
35. The Durty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name could be Dirty Sanchez. A very popular European variation of this maneuver called "The Hitler" involves a simple shit smudge under her nose, replicating the look of Hitler's mustache.
36. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass, thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. At that point, you have received a "Fish Eye."
37. Tuna Melt - Lights out, you're down on a chick lapping away at an unusually juicy slab when you discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. A man of honor, by no means do you stop. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face. (this only work with chicks who REALLY cum hard).
38. Pole Vault - Originated by ancient Romans. When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus. This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar. Bruce Jenner added this to his warm-up routine after losing to Sergie Bubka in the 1979 Olympics.
39. Furr Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, you don't mind though, that is until a mammoth furr ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her. 23. The Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
40. A Hot Carl - A simple maneuver where you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning. Apparently some guy named Carl first tried this.
41. The Cleveland Steamer - Mentioned above. After dumping your load on and around her chest--you position your ass just above your own pool of soup and sit in it, full weight, possibly causing her to gasp for breath. You then pretend to be pulling the whistle cord on a genuine Cleveland steam ship. As you make the loud noise you slide in your spunk from her chest to her bush smearing a spunk trail on her body in your wake. This can be done with the male facing either direction. The more authentic the steam whistle sound, the better.
42. The Halmstad Hook - As mentioned above in #12. This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.
43. Rapp-N-Poke - It's sat. night in the hood and you're lookin to stuff the Ho of the week. After the bitches 9 juveniles hit the streets for their evening violence,you stroll up in you're beat-up Cadillac an hour late with two quarts of mad dog to set the mood. Don't forget to stop along the way to sell a glock and two rocks of crack to some under aged criminals. Now start the evening by yelling,"come here you black bitch and suck my meat" Dip your oversized nigger-cock into some Kool-Aid and stuff it between her dishlipps. Constantly beat her like the slave that she is and pound your fist into that bubble ass. Now whack off into a bucket of extra crispy and put it over her head so she can't see the watermelon that you're about to volley off of her thick skull. After you shoot her, go to the porch, sit down, and don't work for the rest of your life.
As long as there is not a seperatist movement from the Sporkists, we will be fine...
1. Tea Bag - This act requires some additional tools: a handset from your neighbors phone, a rubber mallet from his tool box, and while your in his garage you might as well take his softball. These objects or ones similar should work well. Oooh ya don't forget a piece of lemon. As she lies on her back, you straddle her on your knees. Once your facing your opponents hairy patch, start to shove one object at a time into her hole (unlubricated works best). The pain or the embarrassment should keep her mouth open for quite a while. By the time you get to the softball she should be ready. While crouching over her proceed to dip your nuts into her mouth. Bite some lemon while doing this and continue the process. You are now tea bagging the slob.
2. Mudslide - For those with access to a garden hose, try a Mudslide. When your ho's drunk as Dean Martin sometime, pull your meatbag out of her kornhole and quickly jam the hose up the vacant cavity. Turn on the faucet full blast and stand back. Before you know it her eyes will bug out and a flow of Haitian river water will stain your sheets. I suggest writing her name in big red letters and hanging the sheet on the front of your house for all to see. For added pleasure, call her a dumb cunt and jerk off in her eyes. She'll thank you.
3. The Mugger - Some how your cock ends up in some hogs mouth and an unwanted thumb ends up in your chute. You retaliate back at your opponent by releasing a gust of swamp ass. You can guarantee that she would have rather been hit in the face with pepper spray.
4. Skull Cap - Your sitting on a couch or chair (preferably watching Baywatch). She's in front on her knees with your sack in her mouth. While she is sucking... you are stroking. As you begin your joyous release, grab the base of your shaft and (as hard as you can) tattoo her forehead with your cock. When done properly a full impression of a mushroom should be left on her bean.
5. Stumpin - (caution, this move requires imagination and balance). As you hover over a quadruple amputee, carefully insert what's left of her arms up your ass while using her knarled thighs to whack off. This should produce a stream of spunk which should land where a normal persons feet would be. You've now been stumpin.
6. The Circus Seal - press the twins to one side of your sack and let them fall from the hole in your BVD's. This should produce a beachball effect (painting your tool bag is optional). Proceed to straddle your dates face and pummel her nose with your bag of marbles. This works best when performed with a relative.
7. Slim Shady - This is when two cock chuggers get stuck together while riding the mudpole (similar to when two dogs get stuck). If you ever come across this situation... DONT IGNORE IT. Check the room and see if there's a third shit eater (there probably is). After you find him rip his meat bag off and jam it down his throat. Take your time and make sure he swallows every ounce of his own nut sauce. As for the other two "Faaags" put a leash around the lead "mo" and drag them both into a van or pick-up truck. Proceed to the worst part of town and dump them off. This act of deviance is not sexual but it sure is fun.
8. The Gummy Bear - is easily performed on a sleeping grandmother. While the old bag is in a pharmaceutical haze with her teeth in a glass, straddle her wrinkled mug and jam your naughty boy down her throat (through her gums) blowing your jack down her withered esophagus. If she wakes up, just tell her she forgot to take her pills and you were helping her. A fun variation on this is to turn around just as she wakes up, put her dentures in your ass and start screaming at her like a wild talking asshole (which, of course, you are).
9.The Pit Stop - You've spent all night boozing and courting a local slob, now it's time to go back to her place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down her throat. When her lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that's been building for hours. Her look of horror would normally be enough reward, but as she evacuates, her coughing and your continual stream will mark all of your territory, leaving you with even greater satisfaction. You won't be able to stop, so if she chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of her abode, she'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.
10. ET - Next time you've got some dumb-ass fuck puppet ready to go, grab her purse and excuse yourself to the can while the drunken whore waits, lost in her own tangled bush. Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her purse while making fake shit noises. Flush the toilet for effect then grab the cordless phone on the way back to bed. As soon as you find yourself stabbing her bucket with your jonny, dial the number and hold the phone near her head with same hand your pulling hair with and bang away. Make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like fat cocks up your dirt road don't you?". Then throw the phone on the bed and tell it's for her. A nice topper to this maneuver is to take her money and throw her outside nude and lock the door. I like to threaten to kill her if I ever see her again. You might have your own closing. Have fun. Be creative.
11. The Wooden Indian - Next time your banging a gook, stuff an old dime store wooden Indian up her cunt 'till she's dead. Then throw her in front of a truck. I call this the wooden Indian I think you will too. Great around the holidays. In the event an officer of the law should catch you, just mutter incoherently about Pearl Harbor and Nazis. You're sure to get off.
12. Oscars Treat - This ones for the outdoor enthusiasts: Make sure your next "first time" date is on the night before trash day. As you greet the "ho" at her front door you tell her that because of your OCD you have a ritual you must perform before you begin the date. Being the gentleman that you appear to be she obliges. Before the tuna machine knows what hit her, grab the rope from the front seat of your truck and hog tie her to the curbside mailbox. Quickly strip her rotten, and with the respect of a sailor on leave... fill every orifice with the nearby garbage. After giving her a few rabbit punches, spank one out in the mailbox and go home.
13. The Pitchfork - Pick up any Stevie Wonder lovin' blind slut... and while your fucking her dog, beat her senseless with that ridiculous cane. Because you're definitely gone straight to hell!
14. Puppy Love - It's Sunday morning and you're robbing a girlscout of her dignity and her future by giving her a sausage enema. You turn slowly only to find her pregnant basset hound chowing down on your filthy hole. With a swift kick to the doggy cunt of your attacker, you release a spew of bloody premature puppies from that bitches open wound. You than gather up their limp bodies and fire them rapidly at the girlscouts head hoping to connect with one fatal blow. If that doesn't work, fuck her again and then kill her and stuff the puppies up her ass. P.S. kick the dog again before you leave
15. The Big Top - Next time your at a carnival drag out the Fat Lady and a couple of midgets. Take them to the roof of tallest building in the city. Then have that fat ass shave each kickstand completely bald. When she gets done... role the nude little bastards in a ball and position them on each side of you. Stand up straight and start spitting up in the air while yelling "I'm a cock.... I'm a cock". Congratulations you are now the biggest dick in town. Before getting off the roof, FIST the fatty in the can and chuck the midgets off head first. This trick is slightly more fun while wearing a red rubber nose.
16. The Al Bundy - This activity is recommended for every married scum out there who's trying to do the right thing. While out with the boys you realize that you are surrounded by meat melons. To keep your mind off the screaming beaver go up to hottest hole in your grasp and begin to entertain her with your sharp wit. Classic one liners like "say your a toilet" & "put it in your mouth" or the always popular "show me your bush" should quickly win her over. The result is consistently a hearty kick to the nuts... and when you untangle them from your intestine, thank her for saving your lousy marriage.
17. Broken Necklace - A variation to the ever popular pearl necklace. It's that time of the month again and your slob has asked you once again to buy her something. "No problem" jewelry is what she wants, jewelry is what she'll get. Take the little monkey upstairs and force her to chug your turkey baster. After about ten minutes of fucking that hole in her face, pull it out and begin spanking all over her upper chest. Before you finish, take out the real thing from her jewelry box and choke her with it. As she turns blue take her empty purse and stuff it up her hairy patch. From then on she'll immediately appreciate the T-Shirt you got her last Christmas.
18. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, (her, on her back, you straddle her chest) you proceed to shit on her chest--just for the hell of it. She then becomes the "Lunch Lady."
19. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
20. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This should give you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
21. Golden Shower - Any form of dropping piss all over a girl.
22. Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
23. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty woman and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
24. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you pull your penis back slightly before poking it back into the inside of her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to that of a purple mushroom.
25. The Flying Camel - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like you would imagine a flying camel to sound like. Strictly a class move.
26. Fishhook - A variation of "The Shocker" (an uninvited digit placed in the girl's anus ) in which, with the finger still up there, you "hook" back in the direction the pussy. No real purpose here other than to think to yourself while doing it, "ahhh yes the Fishhook......". Another variation called the "New Jersey Meathook" involves sticking your uninvited digit in the girl's anus while fucking her from behind. You finger is then turned upward toward her back and you pull her entire body toward you over and over while she is sliding on your cock.
27. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
28. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
29. Felching - It occurs after you have been sticking your babe in the can, you bust your nut in there, back up and then pucker your lips up to her rim and suck out your ranch dressing. (This is also the first step of a very advanced maneuver called the Halmstad Hook).
30. Tossing Salad - One person simply chows box or asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. lettuce, tomatoes, croutons, vinegar and oil, etc.
31. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits and or a large lock of hair as tight as possible and yell another girl's name or state "Ya know your by far the ugliest girl I ever fucked". This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
32. Pink glove - This frequently happens during a marathon session (maybe a second round) when a girl is simply not wet enough. When you give up and attempt to pull out to give her money or whatever, the inside of her twatsticks to your hog like the inside of a leather glove. Thus, the pink glove
33. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing. Then spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). This is also a variation of the first stage of a Cleveland Steamer to be described later.
34. New York Style Taco - (Also known as a wet Betsy) - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. All the fixin's.
35. The Durty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name could be Dirty Sanchez. A very popular European variation of this maneuver called "The Hitler" involves a simple shit smudge under her nose, replicating the look of Hitler's mustache.
36. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass, thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. At that point, you have received a "Fish Eye."
37. Tuna Melt - Lights out, you're down on a chick lapping away at an unusually juicy slab when you discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. A man of honor, by no means do you stop. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face. (this only work with chicks who REALLY cum hard).
38. Pole Vault - Originated by ancient Romans. When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus. This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar. Bruce Jenner added this to his warm-up routine after losing to Sergie Bubka in the 1979 Olympics.
39. Furr Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, you don't mind though, that is until a mammoth furr ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her. 23. The Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
40. A Hot Carl - A simple maneuver where you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning. Apparently some guy named Carl first tried this.
41. The Cleveland Steamer - Mentioned above. After dumping your load on and around her chest--you position your ass just above your own pool of soup and sit in it, full weight, possibly causing her to gasp for breath. You then pretend to be pulling the whistle cord on a genuine Cleveland steam ship. As you make the loud noise you slide in your spunk from her chest to her bush smearing a spunk trail on her body in your wake. This can be done with the male facing either direction. The more authentic the steam whistle sound, the better.
42. The Halmstad Hook - As mentioned above in #12. This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.
43. Rapp-N-Poke - It's sat. night in the hood and you're lookin to stuff the Ho of the week. After the bitches 9 juveniles hit the streets for their evening violence,you stroll up in you're beat-up Cadillac an hour late with two quarts of mad dog to set the mood. Don't forget to stop along the way to sell a glock and two rocks of crack to some under aged criminals. Now start the evening by yelling,"come here you black bitch and suck my meat" Dip your oversized nigger-cock into some Kool-Aid and stuff it between her dishlipps. Constantly beat her like the slave that she is and pound your fist into that bubble ass. Now whack off into a bucket of extra crispy and put it over her head so she can't see the watermelon that you're about to volley off of her thick skull. After you shoot her, go to the porch, sit down, and don't work for the rest of your life.
1. Tea Bag - This act requires some additional tools: a handset from your neighbors phone, a rubber mallet from his tool box, and while your in his garage you might as well take his softball. These objects or ones similar should work well. Oooh ya don't forget a piece of lemon. As she lies on her back, you straddle her on your knees. Once your facing your opponents hairy patch, start to shove one object at a time into her hole (unlubricated works best). The pain or the embarrassment should keep her mouth open for quite a while. By the time you get to the softball she should be ready. While crouching over her proceed to dip your nuts into her mouth. Bite some lemon while doing this and continue the process. You are now tea bagging the slob.
2. Mudslide - For those with access to a garden hose, try a Mudslide. When your ho's drunk as Dean Martin sometime, pull your meatbag out of her kornhole and quickly jam the hose up the vacant cavity. Turn on the faucet full blast and stand back. Before you know it her eyes will bug out and a flow of Haitian river water will stain your sheets. I suggest writing her name in big red letters and hanging the sheet on the front of your house for all to see. For added pleasure, call her a dumb cunt and jerk off in her eyes. She'll thank you.
3. The Mugger - Some how your cock ends up in some hogs mouth and an unwanted thumb ends up in your chute. You retaliate back at your opponent by releasing a gust of swamp ass. You can guarantee that she would have rather been hit in the face with pepper spray.
4. Skull Cap - Your sitting on a couch or chair (preferably watching Baywatch). She's in front on her knees with your sack in her mouth. While she is sucking... you are stroking. As you begin your joyous release, grab the base of your shaft and (as hard as you can) tattoo her forehead with your cock. When done properly a full impression of a mushroom should be left on her bean.
5. Stumpin - (caution, this move requires imagination and balance). As you hover over a quadruple amputee, carefully insert what's left of her arms up your ass while using her knarled thighs to whack off. This should produce a stream of spunk which should land where a normal persons feet would be. You've now been stumpin.
6. The Circus Seal - press the twins to one side of your sack and let them fall from the hole in your BVD's. This should produce a beachball effect (painting your tool bag is optional). Proceed to straddle your dates face and pummel her nose with your bag of marbles. This works best when performed with a relative.
7. Slim Shady - This is when two cock chuggers get stuck together while riding the mudpole (similar to when two dogs get stuck). If you ever come across this situation... DONT IGNORE IT. Check the room and see if there's a third shit eater (there probably is). After you find him rip his meat bag off and jam it down his throat. Take your time and make sure he swallows every ounce of his own nut sauce. As for the other two "Faaags" put a leash around the lead "mo" and drag them both into a van or pick-up truck. Proceed to the worst part of town and dump them off. This act of deviance is not sexual but it sure is fun.
8. The Gummy Bear - is easily performed on a sleeping grandmother. While the old bag is in a pharmaceutical haze with her teeth in a glass, straddle her wrinkled mug and jam your naughty boy down her throat (through her gums) blowing your jack down her withered esophagus. If she wakes up, just tell her she forgot to take her pills and you were helping her. A fun variation on this is to turn around just as she wakes up, put her dentures in your ass and start screaming at her like a wild talking asshole (which, of course, you are).
9.The Pit Stop - You've spent all night boozing and courting a local slob, now it's time to go back to her place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down her throat. When her lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that's been building for hours. Her look of horror would normally be enough reward, but as she evacuates, her coughing and your continual stream will mark all of your territory, leaving you with even greater satisfaction. You won't be able to stop, so if she chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of her abode, she'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.
10. ET - Next time you've got some dumb-ass fuck puppet ready to go, grab her purse and excuse yourself to the can while the drunken whore waits, lost in her own tangled bush. Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her purse while making fake shit noises. Flush the toilet for effect then grab the cordless phone on the way back to bed. As soon as you find yourself stabbing her bucket with your jonny, dial the number and hold the phone near her head with same hand your pulling hair with and bang away. Make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like fat cocks up your dirt road don't you?". Then throw the phone on the bed and tell it's for her. A nice topper to this maneuver is to take her money and throw her outside nude and lock the door. I like to threaten to kill her if I ever see her again. You might have your own closing. Have fun. Be creative.
11. The Wooden Indian - Next time your banging a gook, stuff an old dime store wooden Indian up her cunt 'till she's dead. Then throw her in front of a truck. I call this the wooden Indian I think you will too. Great around the holidays. In the event an officer of the law should catch you, just mutter incoherently about Pearl Harbor and Nazis. You're sure to get off.
12. Oscars Treat - This ones for the outdoor enthusiasts: Make sure your next "first time" date is on the night before trash day. As you greet the "ho" at her front door you tell her that because of your OCD you have a ritual you must perform before you begin the date. Being the gentleman that you appear to be she obliges. Before the tuna machine knows what hit her, grab the rope from the front seat of your truck and hog tie her to the curbside mailbox. Quickly strip her rotten, and with the respect of a sailor on leave... fill every orifice with the nearby garbage. After giving her a few rabbit punches, spank one out in the mailbox and go home.
13. The Pitchfork - Pick up any Stevie Wonder lovin' blind slut... and while your fucking her dog, beat her senseless with that ridiculous cane. Because you're definitely gone straight to hell!
14. Puppy Love - It's Sunday morning and you're robbing a girlscout of her dignity and her future by giving her a sausage enema. You turn slowly only to find her pregnant basset hound chowing down on your filthy hole. With a swift kick to the doggy cunt of your attacker, you release a spew of bloody premature puppies from that bitches open wound. You than gather up their limp bodies and fire them rapidly at the girlscouts head hoping to connect with one fatal blow. If that doesn't work, fuck her again and then kill her and stuff the puppies up her ass. P.S. kick the dog again before you leave
15. The Big Top - Next time your at a carnival drag out the Fat Lady and a couple of midgets. Take them to the roof of tallest building in the city. Then have that fat ass shave each kickstand completely bald. When she gets done... role the nude little bastards in a ball and position them on each side of you. Stand up straight and start spitting up in the air while yelling "I'm a cock.... I'm a cock". Congratulations you are now the biggest dick in town. Before getting off the roof, FIST the fatty in the can and chuck the midgets off head first. This trick is slightly more fun while wearing a red rubber nose.
16. The Al Bundy - This activity is recommended for every married scum out there who's trying to do the right thing. While out with the boys you realize that you are surrounded by meat melons. To keep your mind off the screaming beaver go up to hottest hole in your grasp and begin to entertain her with your sharp wit. Classic one liners like "say your a toilet" & "put it in your mouth" or the always popular "show me your bush" should quickly win her over. The result is consistently a hearty kick to the nuts... and when you untangle them from your intestine, thank her for saving your lousy marriage.
17. Broken Necklace - A variation to the ever popular pearl necklace. It's that time of the month again and your slob has asked you once again to buy her something. "No problem" jewelry is what she wants, jewelry is what she'll get. Take the little monkey upstairs and force her to chug your turkey baster. After about ten minutes of fucking that hole in her face, pull it out and begin spanking all over her upper chest. Before you finish, take out the real thing from her jewelry box and choke her with it. As she turns blue take her empty purse and stuff it up her hairy patch. From then on she'll immediately appreciate the T-Shirt you got her last Christmas.
18. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, (her, on her back, you straddle her chest) you proceed to shit on her chest--just for the hell of it. She then becomes the "Lunch Lady."
19. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
20. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This should give you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
21. Golden Shower - Any form of dropping piss all over a girl.
22. Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
23. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty woman and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
24. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you pull your penis back slightly before poking it back into the inside of her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to that of a purple mushroom.
25. The Flying Camel - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like you would imagine a flying camel to sound like. Strictly a class move.
26. Fishhook - A variation of "The Shocker" (an uninvited digit placed in the girl's anus ) in which, with the finger still up there, you "hook" back in the direction the pussy. No real purpose here other than to think to yourself while doing it, "ahhh yes the Fishhook......". Another variation called the "New Jersey Meathook" involves sticking your uninvited digit in the girl's anus while fucking her from behind. You finger is then turned upward toward her back and you pull her entire body toward you over and over while she is sliding on your cock.
27. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
28. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
29. Felching - It occurs after you have been sticking your babe in the can, you bust your nut in there, back up and then pucker your lips up to her rim and suck out your ranch dressing. (This is also the first step of a very advanced maneuver called the Halmstad Hook).
30. Tossing Salad - One person simply chows box or asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. lettuce, tomatoes, croutons, vinegar and oil, etc.
31. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits and or a large lock of hair as tight as possible and yell another girl's name or state "Ya know your by far the ugliest girl I ever fucked". This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
32. Pink glove - This frequently happens during a marathon session (maybe a second round) when a girl is simply not wet enough. When you give up and attempt to pull out to give her money or whatever, the inside of her twatsticks to your hog like the inside of a leather glove. Thus, the pink glove
33. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing. Then spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). This is also a variation of the first stage of a Cleveland Steamer to be described later.
34. New York Style Taco - (Also known as a wet Betsy) - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. All the fixin's.
35. The Durty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name could be Dirty Sanchez. A very popular European variation of this maneuver called "The Hitler" involves a simple shit smudge under her nose, replicating the look of Hitler's mustache.
36. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass, thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. At that point, you have received a "Fish Eye."
37. Tuna Melt - Lights out, you're down on a chick lapping away at an unusually juicy slab when you discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. A man of honor, by no means do you stop. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face. (this only work with chicks who REALLY cum hard).
38. Pole Vault - Originated by ancient Romans. When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus. This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar. Bruce Jenner added this to his warm-up routine after losing to Sergie Bubka in the 1979 Olympics.
39. Furr Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, you don't mind though, that is until a mammoth furr ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her. 23. The Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
40. A Hot Carl - A simple maneuver where you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning. Apparently some guy named Carl first tried this.
41. The Cleveland Steamer - Mentioned above. After dumping your load on and around her chest--you position your ass just above your own pool of soup and sit in it, full weight, possibly causing her to gasp for breath. You then pretend to be pulling the whistle cord on a genuine Cleveland steam ship. As you make the loud noise you slide in your spunk from her chest to her bush smearing a spunk trail on her body in your wake. This can be done with the male facing either direction. The more authentic the steam whistle sound, the better.
42. The Halmstad Hook - As mentioned above in #12. This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.
43. Rapp-N-Poke - It's sat. night in the hood and you're lookin to stuff the Ho of the week. After the bitches 9 juveniles hit the streets for their evening violence,you stroll up in you're beat-up Cadillac an hour late with two quarts of mad dog to set the mood. Don't forget to stop along the way to sell a glock and two rocks of crack to some under aged criminals. Now start the evening by yelling,"come here you black bitch and suck my meat" Dip your oversized nigger-cock into some Kool-Aid and stuff it between her dishlipps. Constantly beat her like the slave that she is and pound your fist into that bubble ass. Now whack off into a bucket of extra crispy and put it over her head so she can't see the watermelon that you're about to volley off of her thick skull. After you shoot her, go to the porch, sit down, and don't work for the rest of your life.
1. Tea Bag - This act requires some additional tools: a handset from your neighbors phone, a rubber mallet from his tool box, and while your in his garage you might as well take his softball. These objects or ones similar should work well. Oooh ya don't forget a piece of lemon. As she lies on her back, you straddle her on your knees. Once your facing your opponents hairy patch, start to shove one object at a time into her hole (unlubricated works best). The pain or the embarrassment should keep her mouth open for quite a while. By the time you get to the softball she should be ready. While crouching over her proceed to dip your nuts into her mouth. Bite some lemon while doing this and continue the process. You are now tea bagging the slob.
2. Mudslide - For those with access to a garden hose, try a Mudslide. When your ho's drunk as Dean Martin sometime, pull your meatbag out of her kornhole and quickly jam the hose up the vacant cavity. Turn on the faucet full blast and stand back. Before you know it her eyes will bug out and a flow of Haitian river water will stain your sheets. I suggest writing her name in big red letters and hanging the sheet on the front of your house for all to see. For added pleasure, call her a dumb cunt and jerk off in her eyes. She'll thank you.
3. The Mugger - Some how your cock ends up in some hogs mouth and an unwanted thumb ends up in your chute. You retaliate back at your opponent by releasing a gust of swamp ass. You can guarantee that she would have rather been hit in the face with pepper spray.
4. Skull Cap - Your sitting on a couch or chair (preferably watching Baywatch). She's in front on her knees with your sack in her mouth. While she is sucking... you are stroking. As you begin your joyous release, grab the base of your shaft and (as hard as you can) tattoo her forehead with your cock. When done properly a full impression of a mushroom should be left on her bean.
5. Stumpin - (caution, this move requires imagination and balance). As you hover over a quadruple amputee, carefully insert what's left of her arms up your ass while using her knarled thighs to whack off. This should produce a stream of spunk which should land where a normal persons feet would be. You've now been stumpin.
6. The Circus Seal - press the twins to one side of your sack and let them fall from the hole in your BVD's. This should produce a beachball effect (painting your tool bag is optional). Proceed to straddle your dates face and pummel her nose with your bag of marbles. This works best when performed with a relative.
7. Slim Shady - This is when two cock chuggers get stuck together while riding the mudpole (similar to when two dogs get stuck). If you ever come across this situation... DONT IGNORE IT. Check the room and see if there's a third shit eater (there probably is). After you find him rip his meat bag off and jam it down his throat. Take your time and make sure he swallows every ounce of his own nut sauce. As for the other two "Faaags" put a leash around the lead "mo" and drag them both into a van or pick-up truck. Proceed to the worst part of town and dump them off. This act of deviance is not sexual but it sure is fun.
8. The Gummy Bear - is easily performed on a sleeping grandmother. While the old bag is in a pharmaceutical haze with her teeth in a glass, straddle her wrinkled mug and jam your naughty boy down her throat (through her gums) blowing your jack down her withered esophagus. If she wakes up, just tell her she forgot to take her pills and you were helping her. A fun variation on this is to turn around just as she wakes up, put her dentures in your ass and start screaming at her like a wild talking asshole (which, of course, you are).
9.The Pit Stop - You've spent all night boozing and courting a local slob, now it's time to go back to her place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down her throat. When her lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that's been building for hours. Her look of horror would normally be enough reward, but as she evacuates, her coughing and your continual stream will mark all of your territory, leaving you with even greater satisfaction. You won't be able to stop, so if she chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of her abode, she'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.
10. ET - Next time you've got some dumb-ass fuck puppet ready to go, grab her purse and excuse yourself to the can while the drunken whore waits, lost in her own tangled bush. Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her purse while making fake shit noises. Flush the toilet for effect then grab the cordless phone on the way back to bed. As soon as you find yourself stabbing her bucket with your jonny, dial the number and hold the phone near her head with same hand your pulling hair with and bang away. Make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like fat cocks up your dirt road don't you?". Then throw the phone on the bed and tell it's for her. A nice topper to this maneuver is to take her money and throw her outside nude and lock the door. I like to threaten to kill her if I ever see her again. You might have your own closing. Have fun. Be creative.
11. The Wooden Indian - Next time your banging a gook, stuff an old dime store wooden Indian up her cunt 'till she's dead. Then throw her in front of a truck. I call this the wooden Indian I think you will too. Great around the holidays. In the event an officer of the law should catch you, just mutter incoherently about Pearl Harbor and Nazis. You're sure to get off.
12. Oscars Treat - This ones for the outdoor enthusiasts: Make sure your next "first time" date is on the night before trash day. As you greet the "ho" at her front door you tell her that because of your OCD you have a ritual you must perform before you begin the date. Being the gentleman that you appear to be she obliges. Before the tuna machine knows what hit her, grab the rope from the front seat of your truck and hog tie her to the curbside mailbox. Quickly strip her rotten, and with the respect of a sailor on leave... fill every orifice with the nearby garbage. After giving her a few rabbit punches, spank one out in the mailbox and go home.
13. The Pitchfork - Pick up any Stevie Wonder lovin' blind slut... and while your fucking her dog, beat her senseless with that ridiculous cane. Because you're definitely gone straight to hell!
14. Puppy Love - It's Sunday morning and you're robbing a girlscout of her dignity and her future by giving her a sausage enema. You turn slowly only to find her pregnant basset hound chowing down on your filthy hole. With a swift kick to the doggy cunt of your attacker, you release a spew of bloody premature puppies from that bitches open wound. You than gather up their limp bodies and fire them rapidly at the girlscouts head hoping to connect with one fatal blow. If that doesn't work, fuck her again and then kill her and stuff the puppies up her ass. P.S. kick the dog again before you leave
15. The Big Top - Next time your at a carnival drag out the Fat Lady and a couple of midgets. Take them to the roof of tallest building in the city. Then have that fat ass shave each kickstand completely bald. When she gets done... role the nude little bastards in a ball and position them on each side of you. Stand up straight and start spitting up in the air while yelling "I'm a cock.... I'm a cock". Congratulations you are now the biggest dick in town. Before getting off the roof, FIST the fatty in the can and chuck the midgets off head first. This trick is slightly more fun while wearing a red rubber nose.
16. The Al Bundy - This activity is recommended for every married scum out there who's trying to do the right thing. While out with the boys you realize that you are surrounded by meat melons. To keep your mind off the screaming beaver go up to hottest hole in your grasp and begin to entertain her with your sharp wit. Classic one liners like "say your a toilet" & "put it in your mouth" or the always popular "show me your bush" should quickly win her over. The result is consistently a hearty kick to the nuts... and when you untangle them from your intestine, thank her for saving your lousy marriage.
17. Broken Necklace - A variation to the ever popular pearl necklace. It's that time of the month again and your slob has asked you once again to buy her something. "No problem" jewelry is what she wants, jewelry is what she'll get. Take the little monkey upstairs and force her to chug your turkey baster. After about ten minutes of fucking that hole in her face, pull it out and begin spanking all over her upper chest. Before you finish, take out the real thing from her jewelry box and choke her with it. As she turns blue take her empty purse and stuff it up her hairy patch. From then on she'll immediately appreciate the T-Shirt you got her last Christmas.
18. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, (her, on her back, you straddle her chest) you proceed to shit on her chest--just for the hell of it. She then becomes the "Lunch Lady."
19. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
20. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This should give you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
21. Golden Shower - Any form of dropping piss all over a girl.
22. Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
23. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty woman and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
24. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you pull your penis back slightly before poking it back into the inside of her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to that of a purple mushroom.
25. The Flying Camel - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like you would imagine a flying camel to sound like. Strictly a class move.
26. Fishhook - A variation of "The Shocker" (an uninvited digit placed in the girl's anus ) in which, with the finger still up there, you "hook" back in the direction the pussy. No real purpose here other than to think to yourself while doing it, "ahhh yes the Fishhook......". Another variation called the "New Jersey Meathook" involves sticking your uninvited digit in the girl's anus while fucking her from behind. You finger is then turned upward toward her back and you pull her entire body toward you over and over while she is sliding on your cock.
27. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
28. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
29. Felching - It occurs after you have been sticking your babe in the can, you bust your nut in there, back up and then pucker your lips up to her rim and suck out your ranch dressing. (This is also the first step of a very advanced maneuver called the Halmstad Hook).
30. Tossing Salad - One person simply chows box or asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. lettuce, tomatoes, croutons, vinegar and oil, etc.
31. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits and or a large lock of hair as tight as possible and yell another girl's name or state "Ya know your by far the ugliest girl I ever fucked". This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
32. Pink glove - This frequently happens during a marathon session (maybe a second round) when a girl is simply not wet enough. When you give up and attempt to pull out to give her money or whatever, the inside of her twatsticks to your hog like the inside of a leather glove. Thus, the pink glove
33. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing. Then spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). This is also a variation of the first stage of a Cleveland Steamer to be described later.
34. New York Style Taco - (Also known as a wet Betsy) - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. All the fixin's.
35. The Durty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name could be Dirty Sanchez. A very popular European variation of this maneuver called "The Hitler" involves a simple shit smudge under her nose, replicating the look of Hitler's mustache.
36. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass, thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. At that point, you have received a "Fish Eye."
37. Tuna Melt - Lights out, you're down on a chick lapping away at an unusually juicy slab when you discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. A man of honor, by no means do you stop. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face. (this only work with chicks who REALLY cum hard).
38. Pole Vault - Originated by ancient Romans. When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus. This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar. Bruce Jenner added this to his warm-up routine after losing to Sergie Bubka in the 1979 Olympics.
39. Furr Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, you don't mind though, that is until a mammoth furr ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her. 23. The Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
40. A Hot Carl - A simple maneuver where you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning. Apparently some guy named Carl first tried this.
41. The Cleveland Steamer - Mentioned above. After dumping your load on and around her chest--you position your ass just above your own pool of soup and sit in it, full weight, possibly causing her to gasp for breath. You then pretend to be pulling the whistle cord on a genuine Cleveland steam ship. As you make the loud noise you slide in your spunk from her chest to her bush smearing a spunk trail on her body in your wake. This can be done with the male facing either direction. The more authentic the steam whistle sound, the better.
42. The Halmstad Hook - As mentioned above in #12. This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.
43. Rapp-N-Poke - It's sat. night in the hood and you're lookin to stuff the Ho of the week. After the bitches 9 juveniles hit the streets for their evening violence,you stroll up in you're beat-up Cadillac an hour late with two quarts of mad dog to set the mood. Don't forget to stop along the way to sell a glock and two rocks of crack to some under aged criminals. Now start the evening by yelling,"come here you black bitch and suck my meat" Dip your oversized nigger-cock into some Kool-Aid and stuff it between her dishlipps. Constantly beat her like the slave that she is and pound your fist into that bubble ass. Now whack off into a bucket of extra crispy and put it over her head so she can't see the watermelon that you're about to volley off of her thick skull. After you shoot her, go to the porch, sit down, and don't work for the rest of your life.
lame...
Michael Loves Me!
1. Tea Bag - This act requires some additional tools: a handset from your neighbors phone, a rubber mallet from his tool box, and while your in his garage you might as well take his softball. These objects or ones similar should work well. Oooh ya don't forget a piece of lemon. As she lies on her back, you straddle her on your knees. Once your facing your opponents hairy patch, start to shove one object at a time into her hole (unlubricated works best). The pain or the embarrassment should keep her mouth open for quite a while. By the time you get to the softball she should be ready. While crouching over her proceed to dip your nuts into her mouth. Bite some lemon while doing this and continue the process. You are now tea bagging the slob.
2. Mudslide - For those with access to a garden hose, try a Mudslide. When your ho's drunk as Dean Martin sometime, pull your meatbag out of her kornhole and quickly jam the hose up the vacant cavity. Turn on the faucet full blast and stand back. Before you know it her eyes will bug out and a flow of Haitian river water will stain your sheets. I suggest writing her name in big red letters and hanging the sheet on the front of your house for all to see. For added pleasure, call her a dumb cunt and jerk off in her eyes. She'll thank you.
3. The Mugger - Some how your cock ends up in some hogs mouth and an unwanted thumb ends up in your chute. You retaliate back at your opponent by releasing a gust of swamp ass. You can guarantee that she would have rather been hit in the face with pepper spray.
4. Skull Cap - Your sitting on a couch or chair (preferably watching Baywatch). She's in front on her knees with your sack in her mouth. While she is sucking... you are stroking. As you begin your joyous release, grab the base of your shaft and (as hard as you can) tattoo her forehead with your cock. When done properly a full impression of a mushroom should be left on her bean.
5. Stumpin - (caution, this move requires imagination and balance). As you hover over a quadruple amputee, carefully insert what's left of her arms up your ass while using her knarled thighs to whack off. This should produce a stream of spunk which should land where a normal persons feet would be. You've now been stumpin.
6. The Circus Seal - press the twins to one side of your sack and let them fall from the hole in your BVD's. This should produce a beachball effect (painting your tool bag is optional). Proceed to straddle your dates face and pummel her nose with your bag of marbles. This works best when performed with a relative.
7. Slim Shady - This is when two cock chuggers get stuck together while riding the mudpole (similar to when two dogs get stuck). If you ever come across this situation... DONT IGNORE IT. Check the room and see if there's a third shit eater (there probably is). After you find him rip his meat bag off and jam it down his throat. Take your time and make sure he swallows every ounce of his own nut sauce. As for the other two "Faaags" put a leash around the lead "mo" and drag them both into a van or pick-up truck. Proceed to the worst part of town and dump them off. This act of deviance is not sexual but it sure is fun.
8. The Gummy Bear - is easily performed on a sleeping grandmother. While the old bag is in a pharmaceutical haze with her teeth in a glass, straddle her wrinkled mug and jam your naughty boy down her throat (through her gums) blowing your jack down her withered esophagus. If she wakes up, just tell her she forgot to take her pills and you were helping her. A fun variation on this is to turn around just as she wakes up, put her dentures in your ass and start screaming at her like a wild talking asshole (which, of course, you are).
9.The Pit Stop - You've spent all night boozing and courting a local slob, now it's time to go back to her place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down her throat. When her lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that's been building for hours. Her look of horror would normally be enough reward, but as she evacuates, her coughing and your continual stream will mark all of your territory, leaving you with even greater satisfaction. You won't be able to stop, so if she chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of her abode, she'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.
10. ET - Next time you've got some dumb-ass fuck puppet ready to go, grab her purse and excuse yourself to the can while the drunken whore waits, lost in her own tangled bush. Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her purse while making fake shit noises. Flush the toilet for effect then grab the cordless phone on the way back to bed. As soon as you find yourself stabbing her bucket with your jonny, dial the number and hold the phone near her head with same hand your pulling hair with and bang away. Make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like fat cocks up your dirt road don't you?". Then throw the phone on the bed and tell it's for her. A nice topper to this maneuver is to take her money and throw her outside nude and lock the door. I like to threaten to kill her if I ever see her again. You might have your own closing. Have fun. Be creative.
11. The Wooden Indian - Next time your banging a gook, stuff an old dime store wooden Indian up her cunt 'till she's dead. Then throw her in front of a truck. I call this the wooden Indian I think you will too. Great around the holidays. In the event an officer of the law should catch you, just mutter incoherently about Pearl Harbor and Nazis. You're sure to get off.
12. Oscars Treat - This ones for the outdoor enthusiasts: Make sure your next "first time" date is on the night before trash day. As you greet the "ho" at her front door you tell her that because of your OCD you have a ritual you must perform before you begin the date. Being the gentleman that you appear to be she obliges. Before the tuna machine knows what hit her, grab the rope from the front seat of your truck and hog tie her to the curbside mailbox. Quickly strip her rotten, and with the respect of a sailor on leave... fill every orifice with the nearby garbage. After giving her a few rabbit punches, spank one out in the mailbox and go home.
13. The Pitchfork - Pick up any Stevie Wonder lovin' blind slut... and while your fucking her dog, beat her senseless with that ridiculous cane. Because you're definitely gone straight to hell!
14. Puppy Love - It's Sunday morning and you're robbing a girlscout of her dignity and her future by giving her a sausage enema. You turn slowly only to find her pregnant basset hound chowing down on your filthy hole. With a swift kick to the doggy cunt of your attacker, you release a spew of bloody premature puppies from that bitches open wound. You than gather up their limp bodies and fire them rapidly at the girlscouts head hoping to connect with one fatal blow. If that doesn't work, fuck her again and then kill her and stuff the puppies up her ass. P.S. kick the dog again before you leave
15. The Big Top - Next time your at a carnival drag out the Fat Lady and a couple of midgets. Take them to the roof of tallest building in the city. Then have that fat ass shave each kickstand completely bald. When she gets done... role the nude little bastards in a ball and position them on each side of you. Stand up straight and start spitting up in the air while yelling "I'm a cock.... I'm a cock". Congratulations you are now the biggest dick in town. Before getting off the roof, FIST the fatty in the can and chuck the midgets off head first. This trick is slightly more fun while wearing a red rubber nose.
16. The Al Bundy - This activity is recommended for every married scum out there who's trying to do the right thing. While out with the boys you realize that you are surrounded by meat melons. To keep your mind off the screaming beaver go up to hottest hole in your grasp and begin to entertain her with your sharp wit. Classic one liners like "say your a toilet" & "put it in your mouth" or the always popular "show me your bush" should quickly win her over. The result is consistently a hearty kick to the nuts... and when you untangle them from your intestine, thank her for saving your lousy marriage.
17. Broken Necklace - A variation to the ever popular pearl necklace. It's that time of the month again and your slob has asked you once again to buy her something. "No problem" jewelry is what she wants, jewelry is what she'll get. Take the little monkey upstairs and force her to chug your turkey baster. After about ten minutes of fucking that hole in her face, pull it out and begin spanking all over her upper chest. Before you finish, take out the real thing from her jewelry box and choke her with it. As she turns blue take her empty purse and stuff it up her hairy patch. From then on she'll immediately appreciate the T-Shirt you got her last Christmas.
18. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, (her, on her back, you straddle her chest) you proceed to shit on her chest--just for the hell of it. She then becomes the "Lunch Lady."
19. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
20. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This should give you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
21. Golden Shower - Any form of dropping piss all over a girl.
22. Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
23. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty woman and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
24. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you pull your penis back slightly before poking it back into the inside of her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to that of a purple mushroom.
25. The Flying Camel - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like you would imagine a flying camel to sound like. Strictly a class move.
26. Fishhook - A variation of "The Shocker" (an uninvited digit placed in the girl's anus ) in which, with the finger still up there, you "hook" back in the direction the pussy. No real purpose here other than to think to yourself while doing it, "ahhh yes the Fishhook......". Another variation called the "New Jersey Meathook" involves sticking your uninvited digit in the girl's anus while fucking her from behind. You finger is then turned upward toward her back and you pull her entire body toward you over and over while she is sliding on your cock.
27. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
28. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
29. Felching - It occurs after you have been sticking your babe in the can, you bust your nut in there, back up and then pucker your lips up to her rim and suck out your ranch dressing. (This is also the first step of a very advanced maneuver called the Halmstad Hook).
30. Tossing Salad - One person simply chows box or asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. lettuce, tomatoes, croutons, vinegar and oil, etc.
31. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits and or a large lock of hair as tight as possible and yell another girl's name or state "Ya know your by far the ugliest girl I ever fucked". This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
32. Pink glove - This frequently happens during a marathon session (maybe a second round) when a girl is simply not wet enough. When you give up and attempt to pull out to give her money or whatever, the inside of her twatsticks to your hog like the inside of a leather glove. Thus, the pink glove
33. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing. Then spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed). This is also a variation of the first stage of a Cleveland Steamer to be described later.
34. New York Style Taco - (Also known as a wet Betsy) - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. All the fixin's.
35. The Durty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name could be Dirty Sanchez. A very popular European variation of this maneuver called "The Hitler" involves a simple shit smudge under her nose, replicating the look of Hitler's mustache.
36. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass, thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing. At that point, you have received a "Fish Eye."
37. Tuna Melt - Lights out, you're down on a chick lapping away at an unusually juicy slab when you discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. A man of honor, by no means do you stop. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face. (this only work with chicks who REALLY cum hard).
38. Pole Vault - Originated by ancient Romans. When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus. This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar. Bruce Jenner added this to his warm-up routine after losing to Sergie Bubka in the 1979 Olympics.
39. Furr Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, you don't mind though, that is until a mammoth furr ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her. 23. The Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
40. A Hot Carl - A simple maneuver where you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning. Apparently some guy named Carl first tried this.
41. The Cleveland Steamer - Mentioned above. After dumping your load on and around her chest--you position your ass just above your own pool of soup and sit in it, full weight, possibly causing her to gasp for breath. You then pretend to be pulling the whistle cord on a genuine Cleveland steam ship. As you make the loud noise you slide in your spunk from her chest to her bush smearing a spunk trail on her body in your wake. This can be done with the male facing either direction. The more authentic the steam whistle sound, the better.
42. The Halmstad Hook - As mentioned above in #12. This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.
43. Rapp-N-Poke - It's sat. night in the hood and you're lookin to stuff the Ho of the week. After the bitches 9 juveniles hit the streets for their evening violence,you stroll up in you're beat-up Cadillac an hour late with two quarts of mad dog to set the mood. Don't forget to stop along the way to sell a glock and two rocks of crack to some under aged criminals. Now start the evening by yelling,"come here you black bitch and suck my meat" Dip your oversized nigger-cock into some Kool-Aid and stuff it between her dishlipps. Constantly beat her like the slave that she is and pound your fist into that bubble ass. Now whack off into a bucket of extra crispy and put it over her head so she can't see the watermelon that you're about to volley off of her thick skull. After you shoot her, go to the porch, sit down, and don't work for the rest of your life.
People always want to talk about string theory at the drop of a hat. But there is so much fascinating stuff in physics that holds a possibility of actually being true. :)
Maybe string theory enters into the picture on the Planck scale, or when you're going to talk about individual gravitons, but it's completely irrelevant as far as this experiment goes. Gravitational waves are a classical phenomenon, predicted by GR (which is a classical theory). They have not been detected as of yet because they are so weak. The coupling coefficient is c^4/(8*pi*G), which is really large. So space time is elastic, but it is extremely stiff. It takes a lot of force to warp it even a tiny bit. The earth emits something on the order of 1 watt of gravitational radiation as it orbits the sun. Jupiter emits something like 30 watts. (Don't ask me for a source on those numbers- I think I read them on the Internet somewhere.) But any laboratory source won't emit anything that can be measured. Gravitational waves are even more esoteric than neutrinos, since we know how to detect neutrinos that we have created. The only sources of gravitational waves that are even remotely detectable are binary star systems, where two neutron stars are in a close orbit. The orbital periods of some of these systems have been determined to be decreasing in a manner characteristic of energy loss from gravitational radiation.
Personally I've always thought it's a bit premature to be speculating on the stringlike nature of gravitons when we can't even detect gross macroscopic things like gravity waves or even gravitomagnetism. It's as if we're blind snails wanting to talk about photons.
I am sure that they would. Michael is such a sack-head.
Michael Loves Me!
Can't they just hook up Harry Knowles (www.aicn.com) with some sensors and look for the gravity waves he creates?
Vote monkeys into Congress. They are cheaper and more trustworthy.
There are some stange thigns going on with gravity and no one seems to have a real grasp on it. For example every space probe is slowing down from the GPS constilation to Pioneers. The realitivty effects on the GPS system were predicted and designed into the system but most of them were off a few orders of magnitude.
We still don't know why pendulums swing differently durring an eclipse.
then why is it so hard to reverse the sign on it?
I've always wondered if gravity wasn't matter pulling on other matter, but space pushing on matter. After all, there is all the pent up zero-point energy, right? What if it is all pushing tightly against matter from all directions. When the space between two bits of matter is less than the space on the other side of teh two bits, then the net force would be to push those two bits together.
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
It's been a while since we heard anything about Pioneer's anomalous acceleration. This sounds like the sort of thing that might be able to shed a little light.
Professor Frossati working at Kamerlingh Onnes Laboraty at the University of Leiden, leads the project 'Gravitation Radion Antennae In Leiden', alias GRAIL, which tries to measure gravitation waves.
Website : www.minigrail.nl
This explains why the sun has been going wacko - no pun intended. OK maybe it was!
Shake your fist and you shake the universe. Just by moving the
mass of your hand back and forth, you are sending out ripples
in space and time - pieces of traveling gravity that distort
everything they meet. These subtle waves will race outwards,
warping the substance of the sun after about eight minutes,
and then heading out into the vastness of interstellar space.
- New Scientist magazine.
I don't think we're ready for that, but hm.... cool.
today is spelling optional day.
A similar statement could have been made about radio waves before humans learned how to transmit them. But now, missile-warning radars are the brightest objects in the universe at certain radio frequencies.
In the future, artificial transmitters might become the "brightest" objects in the universe at certain frequencies of gravity waves.
That that is is that that that that is not is not.
Forget about UV, X-RAY, IR, and RADIO telescopes (let alone visual ones... ugh); these babies are going to be the new uberTools of astronomy. If you postulate a satellite observatory the size of the solar system (quite do-able, even today), we could be opening a whole new chapter in our understanding of the cosmos.
The only thing that excites me more is the idea of sending probes to the moons of Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune to check out the geology (or xeology?). The fact that I'm going to be an old man by the time all this happens doesn't bother me a bit.
I've got a bad attitude and karma to burn. Go ahead. Mod me down.