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So You Want to Be A Marine Biologist
daviddlewis writes: "Some humorous thoughts from a marine biologist on why you should/shouldn't be one. The "shoulds" apply to all geek professions."
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To pick up chicks. When was the last time you saw a male MB?? So if you want to "taste something fishy", then definantly become a marine biologist.
is a marine biologist .... in Nebraska.
He currently works as a gardener at a local nursery.
On the up side, I get great prices on trees for my yard.
-- Knowing too much can get you killed, but knowing who knows too much can make you rich.
apparently you shouldn't become a biologist because the first thing you post will get slashdotted beyond belief.
FreeBSD for the impatient.
Though... this is probably my one chance to get an article submitted.
And so what if you will never have sex again?
What's he mean, "again"?
Most geeks haven't even mastered talking to humans!
You're using her as bait, Master!
That doesn't only apply to marine biologists you know :)
*ducks* and runs out of the room...
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
Yes, it is educational.
Because there are some jobs in some fields that you really do not want to have.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
You don't judge the whole human race by the people who attend monster car rallies, do you?
:)
Well actually I do.
For once that Dolphin sex link the trolls keep posting is actually on-topic.....
Every once in a while, I hear from folks who want to become a software engineer. Good for you, I say, and why is that? The following is a list of good and bad reasons that I've heard.
I want to be an insanely rich billionaire like Bill Gates. And who wouldn't? The thing is, Bill Gates did not become wealthy through software engineering. Neither did Steve Ballmer, or Larry Ellison, or Scott McNeil. They became billionaires by being brutal, ruthless businesspeople; it just so happens that the business, in their cases, happens to be software.
I want to re-define and revolutionize the way people do X. That motivates a lot of the best people, for sure. Getting yourself in a position to do this is bloody unlikely. There are hundreds of great operating systems, programming languages, databases, etc, out there. Only a few of them really change the way people do things. And while it is still possible to make a buck in this world off a good idea, there's still a lot of luck and business smarts involved (see above) in taking an idea and turning it into a fortune. I've worked for more than one company based on a good idea that, lacking either luck or leadership, turned sour. Many fortunes are lost on such ventures.
I want to be a Revolutionary like RMS and stick it to Microsoft. Hey, great. I now pronounce you a Revolutionary. Now: how are you going to stick it to Microsoft? Any schmuck can write free softwarwe. Not every schmuck can write something world-shaking.
I want to be able to make big bucks. My advice: get a Microsoft certification and milk it. Or better yet, consider another profession, such as auto mechanic. The computer field is subject to many ups and downs; what looked like a steady income yesterday is a quick trip to the unemployment line today, and vice versa. Sure, you can earn the big bucks, but there's no guarantee that it will be a steady income, or that your skills will be in demand three years from now.
I want to solve interesting problems / I love to code / I find computers endlessly fascinating. Well then, you've probably chosen the right profession. There is nothing better than doing what you love.
I want to wear whatever I want and have nobody tell me otherwise. Despite stereotypes, this isn't always going to be possible. Remember, as a coder you're a part of a team, usually trying to conduct business. That means that sometimes, you're going to have to dress up, go to meetings, make presenations, and otherwise do some really boring and unpleasant things. Guess what? That's life! And, especially now that there's a glut of qualified coders, employers are going to expect you to dress and act more like a regular professional.
Did I miss any?
Finding God in a Dog
And why is that? It is because, and please listen carefully, while you may want to talk to dolphins, dolphins do not want to talk to you. That's right. Mostly, dolphins want to eat fishes and have sex with other dolphins. And that pretty much cuts you out of the loop, doesn't it?
You obviously haven't been here.
Do that many of us secretly desire to be marine biologists or is it a slow news day?
Hmm, being from Europe I have noticed that quite often the VERY attractive girl(s) in the Standard American Low Cost Soap or Cheap Movie is a Marine Biologist.
From this I deduce that a rather large percentage of the US (and I see a growing tendency in Australia as well) Marine Biologists are incredible beautiful model type young girls, although often with with larger key features (aehmn). They also quite often are very naive and have affairs with men who Only Are Up To No Good.
Even girls in their late teens (with mid-twenties female features) can be fully professional Marine Biologists over there if they are beautiful enough (and aren't already scientists, a profession with also have many beautiful women or works for a advertisement agency).
So I want to quit my SW development job and go to the US working as a Marine Biologist, Scientist or Advertisement Something That Doesn't Require Any Education because of all the incredibly beautiful and naive or at least flimsy girls working in these jobs.
Only downside is ofcourse that they seem to be unable to maintain a long term relationship (say between a week and a few months on the max), but one should not smell only one flower anyway...
so that part about never having sex again is not entirely true.