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Dave Barry Does Windows

retrosteve writes: "Well, it's finally happened. Someone (Dave Barry) in the popular press has finally, explicitly and with a sense of humour, pointed out that Microsoft Windows doesn't get any more reliable or usable, no matter how many versions you buy."

6 of 753 comments (clear)

  1. Dilbertism by xueexueg · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Unfortunately, this isn't "Someone in the popular press pointing out that Microsoft Windows doesn't get any more reliable or usable." Any more than Dilbert comics are "Someone in the popular press pointing out that upper management has seriously flawed priorities and is usually much stupider than the drones".

    I say this not because Dave Barry is a humorist. It is possible for humorists, comedians or whatever, to really get people pissed off motivated, or at least make people think: think Lenny Bruce; think "A Modest Proposal". But Dave Barry and Dilbert are not that kind of humor. They are both the kind of humor that makes its reader laugh at himself, giggle at the funny things people do, the funny stuff we get ourselves into, without thinking for a moment that any real change is necessary. I've always felt that Dilbert is an oppressive force, because by making people think that incompetent management is normal and funny, it keeps people from bothering to actually demand competent management. Same thing with this column: by commiserating about Windows, by poking fun at the flaws that it has on every level, from technological to social, it serves only to further entrench people in a Windows monopoly. I'm sure this column is making the rounds at Microsoft, and I'm sure it is universally loved. I bet Bill Gates tapes it to his monitor, or invites Dave Barry to his next keynote. The message here is "Windows is crap, but there are 200,000,000 people in America who will NEVER SWITCH TO ANOTHER OS, NO MATTER WHAT. Ha ha ha."

    This is not to say that humor necessarily trivializes an issue: maybe it's a distinction between "parody" -- which, we'll say, gently pokes fun without suggesting alternatives, thereby reinforcing norms -- and "satire" -- which, let's say, savagely disillusions people and has at least a shot at changing their minds.

  2. Re:emergency? dial 911 fast by statusbar · · Score: 5, Interesting

    2 years ago I picked up my phone. No dial tone. Huh. Did I forget to pay my bill? No. Checked the wiring and the phone. 15 minutes later still no dial tone. My cell phone worked though, so I called the operator and asked her about my phone.

    The problem was that Spice Girls tickets just went on sale. The phone call load to the nearby Ticket Master outlet flooded the system. No one in my area had a dial tone for half an hour. No one could call 911 on a land line!

    Problems happen even with properly engineered systems. When an improperly designed system is put into place, all hell will break loose.

    I'm not just talking Microsoft here, there is a real problem with companies/programmers seeing their system work once, and then assuming it is good enough to ship.

    --jeff

    --
    ipv6 is my vpn
  3. Re:Win2k, XP by astrashe · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I agree with you about the reliability -- they've made great strides. For a long time it seemed that they just didn't care, but as soon as linux appeared on the distant edge of the radar screen they started to get serious.

    In this sense, linux has already done the vast majority of PC users a great service.

    They still don't seem to be taking security seriously, though, and I think it's going to hurt them. The problem isn't buffer overflows, or individual programming mistakes -- the problem is that they pick business models and marketing strategies even if those models and strategies entail inherently unsecurable designs.

    All of the virus problems flow out of MS's desire to link products -- that's why word processor documents can contain VB programs, and why email clients used to open up office docs automatically.

    As other people have pointed out, MS has plenty of smart engineers working for them -- there had to have been people there complaining about this. But they didn't have the clout to carry the day. It must be frustrating as hell to be a security wonk at MS.

    I predict that .NET is going to be the biggest security quagmire in the industry's history, and as MS has said repeatedly, they're "betting the company on .NET".

    The whole .NET idea is to allow developers to build programs VB style, except that the components can live anywhere on the Internet. By "VB" style, we're talking about low end programmers who don't cost as much as the other guys -- are these guys going to be able to think about threats in a sophisticated way?

    The security seems to be tacked on to this model as an afterthought, and it doesn't inspire much confidence in me. Passport's already had problems, and that service was designed by MS itself, and it's at the very center of their business model.

    Who believes that the low end visual developers who populate so many corporate offices are going to do a better job than the elite MS employees who built Passport? .NET is a train wreck waiting to happen.

  4. Who really knows windows? Or linux? by BrookHarty · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Not many people can say they know the entire system, every program, every lib, dll or driver.

    Windows and Linux(or BSD) for the whole distribution take hundreds of megabytes. Yes, Even thou linux the kernel can boot up under a meg and give you a shell its rather useless other than a rescue disk.

    Windows XP is a great workstation os. There is just so much going on you need 3rd party utilities to see whats happening. Tasks running in the background, files loading and unloading, registry updates/calls, files trying to update themselves, etc.. And then there is all the tweaks you have to put on for common sense options, tcp/ip QOS at 80% wasting 20% of your bandwidth, Explorer and Internet Explorer sharing the same memory if 1 crashes they both crash, Turning off Last access attribute in ntfs for performance, etc... Play around with sys-internals utilities you can see programs looking for missing fonts, updates to the registry, all kinds of system functions.

    Linux on the other hand is rather up front with what it needs. You see what libs a program needs with ldd. lsof shows all files open and what program is using them. Good for a server, more secure when you know whats running. Bad points are the software releases, even thou most of the software is free, it can either not compile, not like the version of libraries you have, or need libraries you cant find. You don't have these problems on the windows os.

    Even thou things are getting more complex, things are getting better. Good linux distributions that install and detect most hardware, X configuration, less configuration and more operation. Windows XP has a nice GUI, very intelligent user interface, more stable, great workstation os.

    Only thing that scares me, is if M$ goes totally .net. I like being in control of my OS, and Linux isn't ready to take over the Desktop yet. Maybe in 10 years Games and Applications will run on any OS, but until then, M$ will keep the market.

    I dont see the OS as perfected yet, but its come along way since DOS.

    -
    The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. - Chinese Proverb

  5. Re:emergency? dial 911 fast by Erris · · Score: 4, Interesting
    The problem was that Spice Girls tickets just went on sale. The phone call load to the nearby Ticket Master outlet flooded the system. No one in my area had a dial tone for half an hour. No one could call 911 on a land line!

    Don't confuse the issue. There's a big difference between failing because of an overload and just never working.

    The New York Times ran dozzens of articles about what a pain it was for victims to get help. Collection became a full time effort as they wandered from agency to agency and filled out horrendous and mind numbing forms with exactly the same information! They did this instead of finding loved ones, shelter, clothes or food.

    While agencies not sharing information is nothing new, you have to wonder how much more could have been done if those agencies were using reasonable software. Nothing M$ talks to anything else M$. I know, because we use the junk at my Fortune 500 company. What proportion of innacurate, duplicate, non shared data came from inadequate tools, and what share from the nature of the organizations themselves? It's had to tell about there from here, but where I work it's hard to share information you want to share with other departments in the same building, much has to be entered multiple times and is often corrupted, and data sometimes just goes away on it's own. No, our tech support folks are not incompetent. No, the people I work with are not incompetent. We simply have second rate tools. Pity those same tools have been used in an emergency situation.

    --
    DMCA, Hollings, Palladium. What might have sounded like paranoia is now common sense.
  6. Re:emergency? dial 911 fast by weave · · Score: 4, Interesting
    Businesses who expect crushes of calls occasionally, like radio stations and ticket companies, are SUPPOSED to get a number within a "choke exchange."

    These exchanges are specifically designed to communicate back to other COs when a crush of calls happen. Those COs back off and return busy to everyone in the CO trying to get that number for a period of time to prevent the end-point CO from going down. ie, they don't even attempt to complete the call.

    Ever wonder why all the radio station contest lines are all in the same exchange in your area?!

    I suspect the spice girl ticket number was not on a choke exchange like it was supposed to be.

    Here's a tip. Next time you need to get a call through to a choke exchange number, get a friend from out-of-the-area to try it. If Philadelphia is having tickets go on sale for some big act at 9am, chances are there won't be people from Nebraska calling in. Their CO won't be "choked."