The 11 Greatest Unanswered Questions of Physics

Adn writes: "Discover magzine has a cover story on the "..11 Greatest Unanswered Questions of Physics" and why answering these might lead to a new age of science.... the full article can be found at The National Academy Site. Almost brings to mind Hilbert's 11 questions on Mathematics which if solved were supposed to usher in a new era of logic and formalism."

Comments

They all have the same answer-

[Unknown Poltroon]

42!!!

I'm no scientist, but *these* are the biggies?

[Anonymous Coward]

1) What is the dark matter?

Also known as 'mildew', it is the dark substance that forms most notably in grout. It can be countered using so-called "white matter", also known as chlorine bleach.

2) What are the masses of the neutrinos, and how have they shaped the evolution of the
universe?

Evolution is a lie put forth by Satan, so "evidence" like neutrinos are Satanic instruments to delude human thinking.

3) Are there additional spacetime dimensions?

Heaven and Hell can be considered seperate dimensions. However, it is widely believed that Heaven exists in the Up dimension and Hell in the Straight Down dimension.

4) What is the nature of the dark energy?

I would not ask such things, if I were you!

5) Are protons unstable?

About as unstable as the morons running this place.

6) How did the universe begin?

This has got to be the easiest test in Topeka.

Gen 1:1 - In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth.

7) Did Einstein have the last word on gravity?

Gravity sucks. Obviously, I just had the last word on gravity. heh heh heh

8) How do cosmic accelerators work and what are they accelerating?

Don't buy cosmic accelerators. They claim to accelerate cosmics, but I didn't notice any improvement in either acceleration or fuel economy in my 64 Mustang.

9) Are there new states of matter at exceedingly high density and temperature?

Yes, I previously mentioned the "moron". There are also the "stickon" and "burnton". The last one can be avoided by using a lower density state of matter, the "teflon".

10) Is a new theory of matter and light needed at the highest energies?

Yes. At very high energies, I notice that matter and light cease being 'solid'. I call the new state of matter/light as "blur".

11) How were the elements from iron to uranium made?

Uranium was pulled out of Uranus. huh huh huh...

Got science questions ?

[Molina the Bofh]

Here are the answers.
(note: these are links to funny science theories. Don't take it seriously. And don't stop ingesting DMHO.)

so-called "light sources" are really dark suckers, that "light" is nothing more than the absence of darkness, and that it is darkness, not light, which is the fundamental radiative transport mechanism of the universe.

This page is funny, specially when you know DHMO is water.

Here's a summary of the 11 questions

[ConceptJunkie]

1. Question 1 involves butter, toast, and carpets of varying qualities. I skimmed over the details. It seemed more like a math problem to me.

2. Transmutation of coat hangars into paper clips.

3. Relative attractiveness of homely aging baby-boomer rock stars and model/actress wives compared to average Joe and Jane Twelvepack.

4. How do they cut the potatoes to get the Pringles chips all the same size and shape?

5. Why don't psychics clean up on the lotteries?

6. The question of the conundrum of having both tea and no tea.

7. Belly button lint accumulation and its relation to dark matter distribution in the universe.

8. Televisual weight gain and Relativity... the camera _really does_ put on 10 pounds.

9. How _did_ they get the hot side to stay hot and cool side to stay cool? And why was seaweed involved?

10. Dick Clark and the Mystery of Non-necrotic Mummification.

11. What's that funny 1x4x9 black thing orbiting Jupiter?