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The Amazing Lego DAT Tape Changer

lizardboy writes: "This is for the Lego loving computer geek with large backup needs. The Lego DAT Tape changer. It can be interfaced with any platform supporting Lego mindstorms. I have used it with OSX and Linux using dump and NQC with some custom shell scripts. It also works under a Mac OS 9 using Retrospect and RCX."

21 of 217 comments (clear)

  1. fp by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    your mama suck my big schlong! And Katie, you're hot but loose!

    1. Re:FP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      The fuck you have, you son of a bitch! And now, to avoid the formkeys error, I'd like to say that Rob Malda is a cocksucking motherfucker, and people like Michael Sims and Jamie McCarthy should be run over with extreme prejudice.

  2. FP by prizzznecious · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    yes. once again, I have triumphed over all others.

    --

    visit the hwky website for a lyrical genius infusion.
  3. Frist Post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Up your ass!

  4. Re:Too Bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Kate gives me an erector set

  5. It's people like you .... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I'm new to slashdot. Relatively new anyways, I've been reading for a year. I rarely post, but I read daily.

    I am SICK and TIRED of seeing people whine, bitch and complain about moderation, stories that are posted, karma whoring, etc. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT HERE, THEN LEAVE. You are ruining this site for the rest of us. I guess I just don't understand how some people take karma so seriously. *sigh*

    ps - posted on a Powerbook 667. Long live Apple

    1. Re:It's people like you .... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      If you don't post very often then why do you feel you can tell people what they should do about moderation?

      You know the old saying -- walk a mile in my shoes and all that.

    2. Re:It's people like you .... by kriebz · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      I don't know what you are talking about. Unless somthing was deleted by the time I'm reading this, no one did any crazy moding or anything. Perhaps you meant to reply to someone elses thread. Your first lesson as a n00b: learn where to post.

    3. Re:It's people like you .... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      A: You are a karma whore
      B: I'll go down gently on you so's your ass
      don't get sore.

  6. On a more interesting topic. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    When lilacs last in the doorway bloomed,
    And the great star early drooped in the western sky in the night,
    I mourned, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.

    Ever-returning spring, trinity sure to me you bring,
    Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west,
    And thought of him I love.

    Thank you for your time,
    The Walt-Freaking-Whitman Troll

  7. I think K5 is down by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Anyone else having problems?

  8. CANNABIS CUP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    CANNABIS CUP

    Sweet Tooth -- Barney's

    Blueberry -- The Noon

    Big Bang -- The Greenhouse

    BEST SATIVA

    (Seed companies only)

    Blue Haze -- Homegrown Fantaseeds

    Leda Uno -- K.C. Brains

    NYC Diesel -- Soma Seeds

    BEST INDICA

    (Seed companies only)

    Yumboldt -- Sagarmatha Seeds

    Shiskaberry -- Amsterdam Seed Co.

    Blueberry -- Dutch Passion

    PRESS CUP

    Sweet Tooth -- Barney's

    Super Sage -- Katsu

    Stardust -- de Rokerij

    BEST COFFEESHOP

    The Greenhouse

    Barney's

    de Rokerij

    BEST HASH

    Crystal Clear -- Katsu

    (second-place tie)

    Grey Mist Crystal -- Grey Area

    Crystal Hash -- El Guapo

    Helter Skelter -- Barney's

    BEST NON-HEMP PRODUCT

    The Metal Grinder -- Sweetleaf Grinders

    Vaporizer -- Vaportech

    Glass Hot Knives -- Ugly Rumors

    BEST GLASS

    The Flying Dutchman -- The Flying Dutchman

    The Spaced Odyssey 2001 -- Cascade Glass Designs/Funtazia

    2001 Piece -- Magma Glass

    BEST HEMP PRODUCT

    Hemp Chocolate -- Hemperium

    Make Hemp Not War T-shirt -- Hempworks

    The Pakalolo Aloha Shirt -- Island Hempwear

    BEST HEMP EXPO BOOTH

    Sensi Seeds

    The Greenhouse Seed Co.

    Vaportech

    INDUCTED INTO COUNTERCULTURE HALL OF FAME

    Paul Krassner

    1. Re:CANNABIS CUP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Weed is WAY better than hash. Discuss.

    2. Re:CANNABIS CUP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      End the War On Drugs
      Washington, D.C.

      Enough is enough.

      The Federal Supreme Court now seems to think that it can judge are right to freedom and the pursuit of happiness away. Next, they will strip the states of their rights to govern and we'll have one huge centralized corrupt government with a government appointed leader. Police can now arrest and detain anyone for any reason if they care to. All they have to do is write up a traffic ticket and that is that. The Supreme Court says that's okay; is it? This country was designed to have built in safeguards to protect the citizens from having to live under an all powerful regime of oppressors where
      financial and social status is everything. Well, what makes a person
      powerful and influential today?

      The Federal Government keeps increasing funding for Police. Since, when is that even a Federal matter. They keep increasing these funds with the "War On Drugs" (WOD, as in WOD of crap) as their excuse. This in turn is said to help save are kids from the evils of drugs. Yet, every year thousands of children are taught about drugs in Federal sponsored "drug education" programs. Where to kids learn about how to approach sex? There is no difference here.

      Every year thousands of families fall apart due to this war on our own people. Mom's and Dad's are stripped from there children when the children need them most. This war is no different than a full-out civil war. The key difference is the fact that the casualties are locked away from their freedom with no cause being fought for. This continues to create the struggle of urban and social plight in our own communities.

      We have a new growth industry in our land. You probably know what it is. It's the privatized prison system. This is not the only place were money is being made in the name of the WOD. The local police can take everything a person owns if they have two bags with the same illegal substance in them both. Why? Because, this is called attempting to sell. This means they are a drug dealer and everything they own was bought with drug money and they can sell it all off and use the money to fund the local police division. With that in mind, it is easy to see why police are so eager to stereotype people who have a basic appearance. If any one of us harassed people, stole their property, mistreated or abused people who fit a certain image or held certain ideas, it would be called a HATE CRIME. But, the police do not do this out of hate for a group (some might) they do this out of greed. Greed is one of the seven deadly sins. And to be honest, it is killing this country.

      Most of us do not want a revolution (it is punishable by law now). We only want the Government to calm down and let people do what people are going to do regardless of the law. That is why we are going to have a peaceful march on Washington DC and exercise our right to assemble and to speak out on why the WOD is a scam being pulled on the people of America by the people we elected to serve US. This March will be on Sat. April 20, 2002. This will allow more people to come out and avoid conflicts with people who work in the DC area. We are also asking that those who live in states far from the capitol and can not make the trip to march to your state capitols and let them know that the states still have more say on this issue than the federal government does.

      Because of the general nature of people who hold high offices, there may be a chance that the national guard may be sent upon us. Please do not worry. This is a cause worth fighting for. The WOD must end if liberty is to prevail. We are only going to speak our mind. We wish to avoid all physical confrontation with the military because we know who would win that war. This is a discussion on the issue of legalization and decriminalization of drugs--period.

      If we could make one choice for ourselves, a personal choice, a chemical choice, we could set millions free from captivity. We could set millions free from fear of the local police. We could set millions free from social oppression. We could set millions free to go raise their children. We could set millions free from their infinite loop of crime. If we could make that one choice...we could set millions free.

  9. The Lyrics Guy! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic


    I am feeling lonely and depressed. My girlfriend died on me last week and all I don't have the strength to continue anymore.

    Give me some Queensrÿche, dude!

  10. Re:The PLP/PWP Theme Song! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Oh, say, can you see,
    In slashdot's early posts,
    What so proudly we trolled,
    In the Taco's last story.

    Whose broad ass and thick dick,
    Through the lengthening posts,
    O'er the goatse.cx we watched,
    Were so gallantly shocking.

    And the anuses' red glare,
    the goats f*cking in air,
    Gave proof through the night
    That our trolls were still there.

    Oh say, does that
    Doubleclick banner yet wave,
    O'er the site of the trolls
    And the home of the AC's.

  11. Cunnilingus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    INTRODUCTION

    Eating a woman's pussy is about the most wonderful thing you can do for her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her cum like crazy. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it is the easiest way to cum with a man. You may have the littlest dick on the planet, but if you give great head, you will be appreciated as a fabulous lover. Yes, it's that important. Besides, lots of women expect it these days - you might as well know what your doing.

    First off, guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their dick into one are often reluctant to put their face "down there". For every guy who says he loves to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish. Women know this, and it affects their ability to lay back and enjoy the experience. There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious. Don't be coy; tell her. When a guy fingers a lady and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven, she knows this is her lucky day.

    What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer. (Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Lather up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole body fuck. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner lips. Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris. Hey, don't stop - this feels great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her ass, and rub a finger all around her anus. You can stick one finger in and wash around inside too, if you anticipate any anal play, and I suggest you do. But don't put those soapy fingers up her vagina. Instead, rinse them off well and stick one or two inside, making a circular motion. Think about washing the inside of a tall glass - same thing. Now wasn't that fun? And now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases...

    So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing passionately, your tongues darting around each other's mouths like playful otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples and she's starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach. STOP. I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning and humping you, or was it your own excitement you were detecting? I strongly prefer to be excited before a guy starts plunging his tongue into my inner recesses. Use your judgement, and kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her stomach, up her thighs, until she's arching up her back trying to get you to eat her. Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for it...I also don't particularly enjoy a guy endlessly nibbling my inner thigh while my clit is quivering in anticipation.

    POSITIONS

    If the woman you are with is somewhat hesitant about your going down on her, start off with her lying on her back, perhaps half-sitting. Lay down between her legs, with her legs over your shoulders. She may enjoy laying or sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling. She can also straddle your face, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her cunt, some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to experiment. And then there's 69...

    69 is one of my favorite positions. On the plus side, you both get to enjoy the sublime sensations of getting head, simultaneously. The upside down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than ideal position for a woman to give head. Plus, if you need to read this article, you may be better off concentrating your energies on pleasing her, without too much distraction. But even for experienced 69'ers, it's easy to short-change your partner. "It feels soooo good, I'm just gonna stop for a second and concentrate on what you're...aaaarrrgghhh". Get the picture? Some show of will-power is in order.

    69 can be done male on top, female on top, or side by side. The latter two are easier, though it's more restful with both partners laying down. Some women love being licked on all fours, so if female-on-top 69 drives her wild, take the hint and find some other ways to eat her in this position. I happen to enjoy male on top, but for many women this is a sure choking position. If a woman can, or wants to try, to deep-throat you, this is THE position. When her head is thrust back you can really slide your cock all the way down her throat. But don't forget what you're supposed to be doing!

    So there you are staring at it - the mysterious hole from whence you came, and into which you hope to cum again... First, an anatomy lesson...

    THE CLITORIS

    Before I go any further, a few words about the clitoris, accent on the first syllable. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it is THE woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be fucked vaginally, anally or otherwise, but if the stimulation is not right there, on the clitoris, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. This is where it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just dandy; just remember that this is pleasurable teasing, not the main event. I can't tell you how many guys have thrust their tongues up my vagina thinking that this was going to make me cum. They were wrong. Of course, with a little manual stimulation....but I'm getting ahead of myself.

    Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clitoris, but once they're there, that's where you want to devote your attention.

    The key here is go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with it, leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does tell what feels best, but I promise, she will appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hand, and pay attention. If she starts bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for God's sake, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.

    THE TONGUE

    I want to reiterate, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel terrific, so relax! I promise, you may be confused and uncertain, but she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great, and I'd no sooner tell guys to "do it exactly like this" than I would tell every chef to follow the same recipe. But for those who are compelled to RTFM, here are a few techniques that you might like to try:

    Try lapping her pussy from vaginal entrance up to her clit, leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing.
    Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while holding the two together with your lips. Good job, now do the other side.
    Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; nice.
    Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it. Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstacy or pain.
    The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense actions which may be "too much" for some women, even when nearing orgasm.

    With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her (see PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER below).
    Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
    Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic. For those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris. Slide it up and down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny pussy for her clit to fuck. This also is likely to bring her over the edge.
    FINGERS
    Fingers are a valuable adjunct to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin of their inner or outer lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You will never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your hands. When you fuck her from behind, or up her ass, or really in any position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her vulva against your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. I know it's distracting, but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across one's clitoris.

    Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere is nothing short of bliss.

    Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina is also wonderful. You can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three fingers, pushed in hard), or wriggling them around. A particularly intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers rapidly, as if waving hello. You are aiming to stimulate a particular part of the woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part. When combined with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and intense climax.

    An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger goes in and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva. You may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.

    Fingers also do nice things to tight little butt holes, but that's a whole other story...

    ANAL PLAY

    This stuff is purely optional. If anal play doesn't turn you on, don't do it. If you're uncomfortable, she'll pick up on your feelings and start wondering if it's her pussy that's turning you off. Don't feel that you can't be a good lover without anal play; you can.

    Cleanliness is of the essence. (remember that nice soapy shower?) Scoop out some luscious juices (from a very wet pussy) with your finger and rub it around her anus. (If she isn't well lubricated, saliva works too.) If that's all you or she feels comfortable with, fine - it still feels great. But I think most women enjoy the feel of a finger pushed up their ass while they're being fucked or eaten. You need to be gentle, possibly even leaving your finger still. Try moving it in and out a little, or around in a circle. If she starts moaning, you know you're doing something right.

    It's really fun to feel a woman's anus rhythmically squeezing your finger as she cums. (And it's great for her, too) You're probably thinking about what that would feel like around your dick, and it's something you should certainly explore. Ass-fucking is somewhat out of the scope of this article, but suffice to say, if she doesn't like a finger up her butt, she sure as hell won't want your big dick up there. Even if she does enjoy this sort of play, she may still be somewhat apprehensive about putting something so large up there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication (a water-soluble type such as K-Y, which is safe for condoms), relaxation on her part, and a slow, gentle, approach. She'll certainly tell you if she wants you to thrust harder or deeper. And remember, if you want to feel that delicious squeezing around your cock, reach around and diddle that clit!

    As for anallingus - why not? Don't feel like you HAVE to do it to satisfy your woman. But if the idea turns you on, great. Let your tongue rove as it pleases. It's not necessary to actually put your tongue inside her butt to stimulate the area. Back and forth, around and around, you get the picture.

    One hygiene note: once that finger (or your penis) has been inside her ass, don't even think about putting it anywhere else. Carelessness in this regard can cause a horrendous infection.

    MENSTRUATION

    I haven't met a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on a woman when she has her period. But some are. Most women are at their horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it thru intercourse, manual, or oral stimulation. If you feel comfortable going down on her, great. It's perfectly safe. You may suggest that she insert a tampon, and then wash up. (As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near her vagina to make her cum.) Or you could lay down a few old towels, turn out the lights, and forget about it.

    PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

    I think variety is crucial. Some guy posted an article detailing a road map of kissing and licking (first here, then here, etc.) Much better to do the unexpected; sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even even include your nose, or your chin into the act. Start slow, that's the key, and let your lover guide the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more and more excited, pay more attention to her clitoris. When she's three breathes away from cumming, moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally torturing her, just understand that this is what you are doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a sensitive spot.

    Speaking of prolonging the agony... I think this is great fun. Bring your partner just to the edge of orgasm, and stop. This is not easy unless you really know your lover well. Instead, just have her help you. Say, "Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're gonna cum." Then take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth just briefly, flick it just the very slightest bit. You will have this woman squirming and moaning like she's dying. Finger her deeply, enjoy the ecstasy you are imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor woman cum.

    UUUUNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! (or, I'M COMING!!!)

    Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up?? The simple answer is, until she makes you stop. Some women may stop you after five seconds from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into another orgasm if you keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her excitement does not drop off as sharply as yours does. Play it safe by continuing the stimulation.

    How many times does she need to cum? Some women are very content to have one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to cum again, but need about five minutes to recoup. Many women are so sensitive right after they cum that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't necessarily mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a few minutes. In fact most women, given a short rest between, are capable of cumming again and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to cum repeatedly with continued stimulation. This is the much-touted multiple-orgasm that is experienced by a minority of women. I know this makes it difficult to know when enough is enough, but there's a simple answer: ask her.

    GODI'MSOEXCITEDITFEELSGREATBUTIJUSTCAN'TCOME

    It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment, anxiety, or just an inability to "let go". What do you do about it? The first question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy of her own home. If the answer is no - then she needs to do some homework. There are two books on the subject that I know of: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Lonnie Barbach, and Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson; pick up one. Then tell her to read it, study it, and practice, practice, practice!

    Now if your partner is orgasmic only when alone - ask her point blank: "Is there something different I can do?" Many women are shy about criticizing their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a very specific answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a little to right please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster. Ah... perfect.

    But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything right but she just can't cum. There are two probable causes: selfconsciousness and/or self-loathing. For women who can't help watching themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her attention on what the two of you are doing. This is a "be here now" kind of thing - definitely not an introspective activity. Get that mirror off the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some soft music. Share a glass of port. (I said A glass - getting drunk will definitely not help). Have her lay on her back, or propped up comfortably with some pillows. This is not the time for her to sit on your face, or the edge of the bed, or standing up against a wall. Arrange a time when you can devote a long period to eating her pussy, and then just keep it up. Forget everything I said about asking her questions - just close your eyes and get into it. I know this can be a difficult and exhausting exercise, but she will be extravagantly thankful for your efforts. It gets easier each time. If all else fails, get accustomed to masturbating together. Gradually begin to add your stimulation to her own, right before she's about to cum anyway. Over time, you can take over completely.

    For women who themselves feel that their cunts are dirty or distasteful, all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about their own genitals. They don't love "that part" of their body, and they can't believe that you would either. Yes, it is important to be clean. But clean means a daily shower which includes washing the vulva. It doesn't mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste. The natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful and erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she will be infinitely more comfortable with your loving it too.

  12. Hot Grits & First Patches by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Hot Grits & First Patches: Coming Soon To A Kernel Near You

    January 20, 2001

    Today marks the end of the kernel as we know it. In an
    effort to speed up kernel releases, reduce stress, and put
    an end to Microsoft's ongoing denial of service attack,
    Linus Torvalds has shifted kernel development over to a
    self-adjusting, self-moderating code-sharing system not
    unlike Slashdot.

    In a statement to linux-kernel, Linus explained, "Even a
    benevolent dictator needs his free time. Hopefully I'll
    now have the time to drink more beer, sign autographs for
    the teeming millions of groupies, and finish off that flame
    war with Andy Tanenbaum."

    With the new system, code-named "Karmix", moderators will
    assign points to submitted code patches. Those patches
    that reach "Score 5, Nice Hack" will automatically be
    included in the next kernel release.

    Well, that's the theory at least. The system has been
    online for a few hours already, and things aren't looking
    good. Nearly 2,000 people have submitted "First patches!"
    (Score -1, Redundant), and another 1,000 or so Anonymous
    Cowards have posted patches that display nude pictures of
    Natalie Portman when the kernel boots (Score -1, Get A
    Life).

    The only patch to reach "Score 5, Interesting" is a piece
    of code that translates the string "www.nytimes.com" into
    "partners.nytimes.com" so that New York Times articles can
    be read online without registration.

    "Now if this patch isn't karma whoring," one anonymous
    Karmix user wrote, "I don't know what is."

    Indeed, many people have expressed criticism of the new
    system. "This is awful. Now the kernel will be filled
    with bad haiku, lame Microsoft jokes, and endless
    references to hot grits and Beowulf clusters. If this goes
    on, I might have to do the unthinkable -- switch to
    FreeBSD."

    Somebody else commented, "According to Sturgeon's Law, 90%
    of everything is crap. Well, under this new system, 99.9%
    of kernel patches are crap. And that number is
    asymptotically approaching 100% as we speak."

    Nevertheless, Linus defends the moderation scheme, saying,
    "Hey, it works for me!"

  13. Anal linguistics. by Lordship · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Maybe we could make a LEGO toy that taught people not to say "DAT tape" (when DAT already stands for "Digital Audio Tape").

  14. Re:That's cool and all... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    A) there idiots

    If you can't tell "they're" from "there" I can't understand why you'd be worrying about how your employer does his backups. That's a task normally assigned to literate staff and it wouldn't affect your work in the janitorial department.

  15. Re:iTools by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    here here.

    Where, where?

    the burden is on the presenter to get his point accross, and he failed.

    So did you. Try English next time.