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What if Harry Potter 5 Was an E-Book?
hakkikt sent a link to a highly speculative what if story on Harry Potter 5 as an E-Book.
The suggestions are pretty extreme- going so far as to saying that this
one book could change the fates of the publishing industry, book stores,
and could even make E-Books more then a pipe dream. Personally I'd
love to see it available digitally, but I still want a real hardcover
copy, and I can't imagine hundreds of thousands of kids staying up
late at night with laptops under their covers instead of the far more
traditional book & flashlight. Food for thought, but I can't really
take it seriously.
first post claimed for anonymous cowards! suck it, logged in trolls
Here comes some comments about that fag russian that broke the law and how he was treated so unfairly! Be prepared!
(a) An E-book project
or(b) Sex with a mare
?Don't be fucking idiotic
I have to ask: why do you want to commit Karma-suicide?
I just don't see any reason for it, myself.
... what's it doing on my hard drive?
Well, if nothing else this would give conservative parents who are freaked out by Harry Potter a chance to further ostracize their kids from computers and technology.
--Chag
and Harry Potter and all his friends went to hell for practicing witchcraft!
been at 50 Karma for a very long time. needed a change and decided the challenge of getting it back to 50 would be interesting. Step 1 on such a quest requires getting back down to zero karma.
The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
Uhmmmm. See where is says [Create a new account] ?
Works like a charm.
--
the strongest word is still the word "free"
You know, you can create a new account too...
Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of him too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.
Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs. Now stop and look at what you see.
Beautiful, isn't it?
There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy.
I know. I've seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl's cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz.
Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special. Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.
A little noise on your part usually doesn't hurt, and sometimes it helps. Some women are very hung up on cunnilingus, determined to believe that, no matter how much you say otherwise (and she claims to believe you), it may be at least a little unpleasant for you. If you're excited by her responses, or by the act itself, don't try to stay quiet about it. The same kind of sounds that will reassure and excite a lover when they're pleasuring you will often work when you're pleasuring them, too. This could be considered a secret weapon in sex in general, because most guys are rather quiet, and yet women almost always find responsiveness very exciting. The contrast between someone who's responsive and most of the other guys makes it even more effective than it would already have been.
Back to the pussy.
Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.
Whenever you touch a woman's pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of its own and it's extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.
Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.
Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush and breathe through your mouth onto her genitals. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.
Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently.
Tongue-fuck her. This feels divine. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of its covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up to the top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience its presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.
Licking doesn't have to be as simple as it sounds, either. You can keep your tongue soft, and gently caress it, or tighten your tongue to something of a point and rhythmically lick at it.
Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!'
There's a reason for that - most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who's a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.
But back to your pussy eating session...There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she's enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, during or after. She'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you're fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.
Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing.
She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this.
If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one whose nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover.
When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.
If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She'd be yours as long as you wanted her.
The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her come, made her your slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.
Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.
The G-Spot
This does exist. And in over half of the women out there, it works better than anything else you can do to cause a strong, prolonged orgasm. The original name is the Grafenberg spot, after a doctor, Earnest Grafenberg, who documented the area (which may have been known by people here and there throughout history) in the fifties.
This "spot" is a small "mound" of tissue inside the vagina, between a penny and quarter in size, which responds to being pressed upon. It's almost certainly not the skenes glands, (which are located around the urethra, which is behind the G-spot area), as has been suggested by a few people. In fact, the G-Spot is the tissue in that raised area of the vagina, which has a higher concentration of sexual nerves, and produces hormones similar to those made by the male's prostate gland.
A sort of map to the area -- Imagine your lover lying on her back, legs spread. Your position is between her legs. You would slide a finger inside her vagina, palm up. With your finger straight back, middle finger is best, you would curve it toward yourself, gently, as if you were gesturing to someone to "come here". In doing so, the area you press on should be pretty near her "G-Spot" area. If you know enough to follow the urethra (the tube that leads from the bladder to where the pee comes out), along the inside of her vagina, you may feel a slight swelling (if she's excited) at the point where the g-spot is.
She must be excited, especially if either you or she is new to the g-spot, for the g-spot to have any real effect at all. It's not the ideal area for getting your lover aroused.
But when she is excited, this area (more often than not) is the best way to bring her to orgasm. You work your way back to it gradually, teasing her (typically, this works best) with your fingers, slowly and gently. It's easier to hit the right area with two fingers, but this may not be comfortable for her, depending on how "tight" she is at that moment. When you have your fingers around the right area, try gently pressing, not too quickly. The movement should be fairly rhythmic. It's typically best if you're licking her clitoris (or near it, depending on the woman) at the same time...don't make a big deal out of the "quest", this will often make her feel self-conscious, or distracted. The licking should seem to be the primary activity.
When you find the right area, she should respond by getting more excited. Most of the vagina's inside surface isn't really that sexually sensitive, believe it or not...most of the excitement of randomly inserting fingers is more psychological than from the actual stimulation.
While more complicated techniques work with some women, some of the time, the best basic technique, upon finding the g-spot, is to continue to slowly, rhythmically press on it, while licking her clitoris (for a few women, the labia (lips) are sensitive to licking, too).
This should cause her to build up to an orgasm.
A G-Spot orgasm is different (always, when it works at all) than any other kind women have. It is possible, with some women, to have different qualities and kinds of orgasms from vaginal, clitoral, anal, and even breast stimulation...but with other women, those kinds of orgasms are all pretty much the same. But the G-Spot orgasm not only feels different; it also causes her body to react in a different way.
First, it often causes a "push out" orgasm. The area around, or "above" (farther inside, that is) your fingers seems to swell up or to contract toward the opening of her vagina.
If you find the right combination of pushing back when this happens, and slacking off to let it push out, you can cause (in perhaps half of the women) her orgasm to continue happening, long after normal ones would have subsided. In some women you can even keep her at a "plateau" (raised level) of sexual excitement, like a prolonged orgasm (or a little less than one) afterward, building up to an even bigger climax.
I've managed to keep this pattern of build-up, orgasm, plateau, orgasm, build-up, orgasm for over four hours, with one lover. We stopped when, though she wanted to go on, she was so exhausted that she really had to stop.
That brings me to another important point; G-Spot orgasms sometimes causes a huge amount (relatively speaking) of lubrication (juices, wetness)...far more than even the most excited woman gets from "conventional" stimulation. It's a good thing, too, because otherwise g-spot orgasms can only be prolonged for as long as she does not get raw/sore from it...which is yet another reason to be gentle. When that extra wetness combines with the push-out orgasm, you get actual ejaculation...like a guy, but much better tasting. The built up juices can shoot out in such volume that you, or she, may be afraid that she lost control of her bladder. That is (almost always) not what happened. The fear that she peed can be enhanced by the fact that the urethra is behind the g-spot, so that in rare cases the woman can sometimes get the feeling that she needs to pee, even though she does not.
In reality, in both men and women, enough sexual excitement prevents peeing, unless you try really hard. This is a built-in reflex, because urine is something of a spermicide. The "pee hard-on" that men get in the morning is partially his body taking advantage of this reflex, to keep him from accidentally wetting the bed with the urine that built up while he was sleeping.
Licking the Alphabet
Believe it or not, licking the alphabet, one letter at a time, on and around her clitoris/vulva actually works. The real goal is to be able to keep regular, rhythmic motions going, but to change them in some gradual pattern that isn't so different it throws her off, but isn't so redundant that she grows insensitive to it. The alphabet is probably the longest chain of shapes that you can be sure to repeat smoothly and rhythmically, without loosing track of where you are. Unless you are a victim of public education, I suppose, in which case you may have to stick to the letters of your name, or the numbers one through nine (being too confused by where to put the zero).
I would not suggest combining this with the g-spot stimulation, at least not with the intention of really giving her g-spot orgasms. The two techniques conflict a bit, as the focus of arousal is so different.
Around the World -- or the Sea, Anyway
Once you have your lover "used to" the whole g-spot stimulation thing (she will actually get "better at" cumming from g-spot stimulation, the more it's done to her), you can try, occasionally and for variety, stimulating her g-spot until she starts to really respond, then switching back and forth between pushing (as gently as normally necessary for that particular lover) her g-spot and pressing the length of your finger on the opposite side. Sometimes you can even get to the point of doing one press on one side, one on the other, back and forth, which can feel amazing and a bit "what on earth are you doing? No, I didn't say to stop" to her. Most likely, though, it'll work better if you switch every several seconds, not every time you press.
I should not fail to mention the cervix. You may not have even noticed it, by touch, but it's there and once you find it you'll wonder how you missed it (unless your lover has had histerectomy, in which case it's missing, no big deal). This is yet another area where you definitely want to build up to stimulating, as it can actually be painful to even touch if she's not excited enough...but, despite assumptions to the contrary, it can be very useful for stimulation, done correctly.
As I said, issue #1 is that she must be very aroused. Well, bearing in mind that everyone's different, of course.
The Cervix is also about 180 degrees around from the g-spot, but it's in much deeper (typically). It leads back to the rest of her reproductive organs, like the womb. If she's pregnant, don't mess with this at all. Watch out, too, for IUDs and diaphrams and the like. Hopefully you are on good enough terms with her to already know if she's using one of these contraceptive devices, which fit over the cervix.
The cervix is not an abtract "area", it actually juts up, like a little flesh mesa or something. It has an opening at its very "peak", but this is normally closed pretty tightly.
The best way to start is to gently caress around the sides and base of the cervix. Remember, she should already be very "hot" before you even start this part. Eventually, build up to circling it with one or two fingers, around and around, gently staying in contact with it so she can feel the motion through the cervix itself. How hard you can press depends a lot on the specific woman. This is also something that probably works better as a change of pace, not the "main course" of the cunnilingus session...unless she really gets into it.
That circling motion may get another round of "what on earth are you doing...hey! Don't STOP doing it!".
You may even, and in my experience this rarely works, but works well when it does, be able to press directly on the tip, with your finger or fingers, pressing it the way a penis might if one happened be entering her at the right angle to hit her cervix.
Taste
Anyone who likes, say, coffee or beer should have no room to complain about the way most women taste. No, I don't mean it tastes like coffee or beer, genius...I mean that beer and coffee are, at best, acquired tastes...they are not naturally pleasant to a human being, no matter how much your addiction to one or both has convinced you otherwise. Most people, whether they remember it or not, had to learn to like the taste of beer/coffee, and had the desire to be Like the Adults to help them along. Well, I'd list taking pleasure in cunnilingus above drinking addictive beverages on the list of things that prove maturity. Aside from that, there's the fact that many people who give it an honest try genuinely enjoy the taste/smell.
Rest
If you do have a lover who can experience repeated, extended orgasms from g-spot stimulation, and you (for some reason) need to take a break, the absolute best way to do this is to give her a clitoral orgasm. This can be as simple as pushing even more gently and slowly on her g-spot, while giving her clitoris more attention (it can often take more direct and firm stimulation by that level of arousal), so that her next orgasm is really caused by the licking, not the pressing of your finger(s). This works because, with many women anyway, clitoral orgasms leave her feeling very sensitive, and momentarily satisfied (or at least wanting to take a breather).
There is, on the other hand, a very interesting trick for staying "in the game" when your tongue is getting tired. Switch from moving your tongue directly, to using your whole jaw to move your tongue, by slightly opening and closing it. If you tire of this, move your entire head, so that it's doing the actual work that makes your tongue move. When even your neck tires, it's on to the final backup-plan, but the one that works the longest; gently rock your entire body back and forth, at the same speed that you were doing each of the other, so that it's your body that's actually doing the work to move your tongue. For someone who hasn't built up the mighty endurance that's useful with a lover who can have hours of orgasms, this is a great trick. Of course it mainly works when you're going simpler, rhythmic motions...save the fancy tongue stuff for when your tongue's doing all of the work (you should be able to switch back to tongue-only motion regularly, as it gets rested).
Harry potter blows
nah. too easy and too logical.
The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
If you want to run an illicit Counterstrike server on your university's network so that socially inadequate disaffected geeks can take out their frustrations with the world that has rejected them by calling each other homosexuals, then Linux is the perfect operating system for you.
Ah. And to think that I figured it was some sort of protest of the "bad editors and moderators" around here.
Not that I agree with this sentiment wrt ed. and mod., but I've seen enough obviously poor moderations I can certainly understand somone feeling that way.
Hell, I've lost count of the ammount of times I've completely disagreed with somone through metamod. In fact, metamod's the reason I read at -1 anymore. There are too many worthwhile comments that get modded down for differing from popular opinion.
To paraphrase, "I may disagree violently with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."
So you're just going to be a cock about it?
I'm a part time troll myself, but that's really fucking annoying, man. Nobody cares about your stupid little campaign. Can't you at least come up with a good ______ dead at __ story?
--
the strongest word is still the word "free"
SAVE HARRY???
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms,
If grandma had balls, she'd be grampa.
Sorry, but I have to post this anonymously as I don't want to be moderated off-topic.
My Slashdot Commenting Study