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Ricochet Bounces Back, Cautiously
SimHacker writes: "An article in salon.com reports that the Ricochet wireless network will be bouncing back from the dead! Aerie Networks, who purchased Metricom's Ricochet network for $8.25 million, is going to offer the service in markets where it was popular, like Southern California and the Bay Area. They're also planning to lower the price of the modem from $300 to $100, and lower the monthly flat rate fee from $80 to $50. Ricochet is hardly the perfect wireless network, but it's much faster and more reliable than CDPD, so I'm really looking forward to signing back up."
this story is repeatedly being reposted over and over and over again...
I'll come to your house and shoot you Kennedy style
This comment has been removed since it was clearly in violation of Title 18, United States Code, Section 871 (Threats Against The President) and / or Section 875 (Interstate Communications: Extortions / Threats). You can Read More Here. We're sorry to have to do this, and while we don't necessarily agree with this, it is still the law. When the Secret Service gets involved, we don't have many options. We appreciate your understanding in the matter. Please call (202) 406-5000 if you have any questions.
Get the damn ChiTown network going!
An article in salon.com reports that my dick will be bouncing back from the dead! Penis Networks, who purchased my dick for $8.25 million, is going to offer my sexual services in markets where it was popular, like Southern California and the Bay Area. They're also planning to lower the price of the fucking from $300 to $100, and lower the monthly flat rate fee from $80 to $50. My dick is hardly the perfect penis, but it's much faster and more reliable than dildos, so I'm really looking forward to signing people back up.
February 21, 2002
VA SOFTWARE REPORTS RESULTS FOR SECOND FISCAL QUARTER, 2002
FREMONT, CA--February 21, 2002--VA Software Corporation (Nasdaq: LNUX), provider of the SourceForgeT collaborative software development platform, today announced results for its second fiscal quarter of 2002, beating analyst expectations for revenue, net loss and cash usage.
The second quarter pro forma net loss, excluding amortization of goodwill and intangible assets and deferred stock compensation, improved to $6.9 million, or $0.13 per share, from the fiscal 2001 second quarter net loss of $13.4 million, or $0.28 per share. This compares to First Call reported consensus analyst estimates of a pro forma loss of $0.16 per share, and guidance offered in the company's November 20, 2001 press release of a pro forma net loss of $8.0 to $8.5 million.
On a total reported basis, the fiscal 2002 second quarter net loss was $9.7 million, or $0.18 per share, showing significant improvement compared to last year's second quarter total reported net loss of $74.1 million, or $1.57 per share. For the six months ended January 26, 2002, the company's total reported net loss was $64.5 mllion, or $1.22 per share, compared to the total reported net loss of $125.5 million, or $2.69 per share, for the six months ended January 26, 2001.
--->AC4U---
You've heard it before.
Aires, the other trolls are starting to tire of your self-delusional and selfish demeanor. You are not the one to lead the revolution. There is not even a revolution. In the coming days you should stray from your "blind and barbarous" charges into the frontlines of battle. Balance your self-aggrandizing trolls with humility or brotherhood. You blazed a trail through the e-wilderness but now you have blitzed your penis into a brick wall. Start looking for that balance with the universe and its inhabitants which you lack, lest you blindly and bluntly charge your erect manhood into ESR's sweaty, pulsing, and filthy anus. And you don't want to do that, do you?
Taurus
You provide foundation and structure to trolldom. If there be an Empire, then let its roots be your works. Yours is the first earthly manifestation of our combined and unified beauty, but now you have a choice. You can either lazily roam the fertile pastures and suck the sweet honey of victory, or you can help build Babel to the heavens. Beware, the former might lead to you sucking the semen from Taco's cock, while the latter, although lifting you from your sacred footings and unnerving yourself, may prove to be the wisest choice.
Gemini
You have many talents. Your trolls can be beautifully written, exhibiting your natural communication talents. Your mind is quick and flighty. Have you ever realized the variety of your pieces? One night you might write a homosexual expose on Linux faggotry, while the next day it is a craftily written legitimate troll. Your dual nature puzzles most and maybe even yourself. Some might not even see it outright. De Broglie contends that all matter is a wave on some level. Are you a wave, wayward Gemini? Another example is that you are a troll but you revel in using open source programs. You hide yourself well. You are a whore in most ways. And as a whore you will never be fulfilled. You may have had your fun about a week ago, but now it is not your time. It will be a while before you pull yourself back together again. But stick around, the dregs take entertainment in your plights and facetious ways.
Cancer
Remember that time you once tried to troll? Remember when everyone laughed at your pitiful attempts? Remember how you withdrew immediately and started to masturbate wildly to Hentai? Remember how once you came the neurotransmitters immediately pulsed through your being and took you to a pleasant place? The lesson here is that you are a pussy-mama and have no trolling talents. Masturbation is not a talent, fool, and you will never have your love be accepted in trolldom, or the world for that matter.
Leo
You know those days when no one seems to be trolling? Well Leo, you are our light in those dark days. You carry the torch, albeit in a conceited and self-centered way, but nonetheless you keep the Path alive. The shadow has yet to hold us sway. Don't get to full off yourself, because while you can keep a warm castle for us, you can't build us an Empire. Know your limitations sir, and also take care not to trample over the visionaries that can take you to the Next Level.
Virgo
You trolling style reeks of prudishness. To spice your life, I recommend throwing in some good bathroom humor or homosexuality into your writings. Your endless crapflooding, although detailed and nonsensical, lacks something special. You are a machine, a practical worker for the cause. You can best manifest your greatness when you are working for someone else. You should find a good Gemini (yeah I know that's an oxymoron), Libra, or Aquarius to give you inspiration and work. You need some mental stimulation right now. Actually, you could use any stimulation now, and for that, find a Libra.
Libra
Much like your cardinal counterpart Aires, you are a pioneer. But unlike Aires, your talent begins in the mind, inciting thousands of blood-thirsty trolls to rally to the cause. You lead is bond, and your bond is beauty. But did I mention you're a fake, arrogant bastard. Your superficial way can't last. Also, did you ever wonder why you rarely troll? Well, I'll tell you. You're an indecisive bastard. You start a story but then can't make up your mind over some unimportant detail. Becoming frustrated, you start jerking off to the homosexual undertones contained in your trolls. This is a mistake. Harness and channel your energy of creativity and destruction, and in the balancing of the two you might find success.
Scorpio
You are the true master of the art of covert trolling. Under the innocent guise of a harmless introvert lies a cold calculating killer brooding for the taste of blood and seminal fluids. You manipulate, scheme, lie, and sleep your way to the top. You could be a star in the sky, but you usually end up bound up in your own web of deceit. Sometimes you unconsciously look forward and plot this conclusion. In the depths of your sick twisted hell lies the key to transformation. The phoenix is birthed in the abyss, only to catch ablaze and fly soaring to the heavens. This probably won't happen to you though.
Sagittarius
You have the ability to show us "The True Path", but you would rather drink yourself to oblivion with a bunch of forest nymphs. Honestly, who here wouldn't do that? I have a desire to party with the forest nymphs tonight. Sag, let us hang out, drink much stout and wine, and fornicate with some nymphs. Fuck trolling, my carnal nature calls.
Capricorn
Always trying, always failing, always overcoming. Are you part of the allied forces, or do you contribute to the vile structure that threatens us all? Nobody recognizes your struggles because you manage to write in an earthy and uninspired monotone. What does this mean? Well, I don't know exactly what it means but I do know that you're a homosexual.
Aquarius
We all have problems, but you, Aquarius, have problems that affect us all. You fancy yourself a leader. Why? We never asked for you to bare the water to our thirsty lips. We never asked you to refine the Troll Empire into your own sick sadistic world. Once outcasted among "proper" trolls, some sick spirit from within told you, "If you build it, they will cum." Fuck those talentless bastards. The structure is now built, and the talents are ready to be poured. It is your duty to pour your metaphorical homosexual semen all over trolldom, and the world. Do not falter, for the revolution looms, and the sun will rise yet.
Pisces
Oh, what an old soul you must be. In some ways you are the flowing talent that Aquarius bares. This is doubtful though, as your inner water is probably stagnant and swarming with mosquitoes. You embody the best of the of the Zodiac. Don't get to full of yourself, because you also embody the worst. That is the key to your constant failures. You should get very angry right now and create a storm with the raging sewage inside of you. Pound trolldom from the heavens with your bile, and then cry. You may feel that no one understands you, and hell, you're probably right. That doesn't matter now, because the world needs your "talents" right now.
This troll has already been accepted into the Troll Library. There is no need to repost this troll, because it will be done for you. Go eat a bag of hell.
Thank you for your contribution.
Fuck off and die you worthless troll!
Haha, got you.
Who does CmdrTaco lose his virginity with if he doesn't have sex until a few years later?
1990. CmdrTaco experiences his first time having gay sex, being the taker, with his father. This act leads CmdrTaco on a life filled with homosexual partners and male prostitutes.
2002. CmdrTaco marries a tranvestite named Kathleen. Reports are in that Kathleen out measures CmdrTaco.
2003. CmdrTaco's wife leaves him because of his incredibly small penis and tendency to blow his load from only a few seconds of intercourse.
2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, AN EMPTY tub of crisco and several used condoms.
2009. CmdrTaco commits suicide. Act can be blamed on his ever expanding anus and failure to give fellow geeks' penises a tight fit in his rectum.
Slashdot's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
i s'll be the last packet I ever send your ass
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad -- it's not so bad
Dear Rob, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my email, my ICQ, and my yahoo chat at the bottom
I sent two emails back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem with your sendmail or somethin
Sometimes I scribble email addees too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fsck it, what's been up? Man how's your boxes?
My boxes is linux too, I'm bout to be a compiler
once I learn gcc,
I'ma compile for miles ah
I read about your Palm Pilot too I'm sorry
I had a friend lose his Palm over at the airport in Maradonna
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even read all your bullshit Linux news and BSD scams
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the way you sold your ass too that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan
Dear Rob, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your Linux World
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my Senior sys admin he's only 26 years old
We waited on a 9600 baud for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fsckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Boston - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never had a clue about shit either
I gcc'd shit with my wife then beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your page
so when I feel like rmusering I read Slashdot to being the rage
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of slashdot across the chest
Sometimes I even packet myself to see how much it floods
It's like adrenaline, the DDoS is such a sudden rush of blood
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Rob, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
th
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two emails
I wrote the @ signs on 'em perfect
So this is my payload I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm on my modem now, I'm doing 9600 on the infohiway
Hey Rob, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to code?
You know the song by Deep Purple by Depache Mode
its irrelevant by playing on my linux player
while I write some php scripts and play some Dragonslayer
That's kinda how shit is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downloads now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Rob, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Rob {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to page
Hey Rob, that's my senior admin screamin in the cage
but I didn't cut the power off, I just rebooted, see I ain't like you
cause if he works some harder he'll suffer more, and then the boxes die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost BGP bridged
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this packet out?
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your box is running now, how'd you like your gcc?
Look, I'm really flattered you would install 7.0 Redhat
and here's an autograph for your senior admin
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to DDoS lamers too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
so heres some more Linux stories to keep your as busy when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
I already have a boyfriend Timothy he gets me wetter
I really think you and your boxes need each other
or maybe you just need to treat them better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that Linux and MS is just grand
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and switched his router for a bridge
and his packets were blackholed, and his DNS couldn't get digged
and in the colo they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!
OMG BIG PENIS ATE MY SOUP