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Amazon & Barnes and Noble Settle One-Click Dispute

Posted by michael on from the clicking-toward-ecstasy dept.

rtphokie writes: "C|Net is reporting that Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com have settled the over 2 year old lawsuit over the expedited ordering process known as '1-Click' ordering on Amazon's site and 'Express Checkout' on Barnes and Noble's. Details of the settlement are (of course) unavailable."

5 of 98 comments (clear)

  1. Nobel's express checkout?? by shankark · · Score: 2, Funny

    "..."Express Checkout" on Barnes and Nobel's....

    like dynamite?

  2. Amazon Sued by Half-Click Patent Owner by guttentag · · Score: 5, Funny
    I keep waiting to see Amazon get sued by the owner of the Half-Click patent, because every "One Click" is really two half-clicks. Once that story breaks, I'm sure they'll have a real field day with DoubleClick.

    I guess the half-click people are somewhat slow. It's hard to get things done when you're busy holding the mouse button down with one hand.

  3. Re:Good, by SQLz · · Score: 2, Funny

    BTW, I just patented the 2-2,000,000 click ordering processes.

  4. I imagine it happening like this... by mystery_bowler · · Score: 5, Funny



    Amazon's Top Lawyer: Look, we know you guys want to do the whole 'One-Click' thing. But we got a patent on it. We have to protect it. How would we look to other companies if we didn't? Like big wussies, that's how we'd look.

    B&N's Top Lawyer: But your patent is too broad and ill-defined. You knew you were taking advantage of the patent office's ignorance toward technology. And we're pissed off enough about it to get it over-turned. And if you think inactivity would make you look like wussies, over-turning your patents is going to make you look like money-grubbing vampires.

    ATL: We don't have to go through this, you know. You could just pay a nominal license fee...

    BNTL: Yeah, and you could lick my #expletive#.

    ATL: Oh come on, is that really necessary? It wouldn't hurt your bottom line in the least.

    BNTL: It's the principal of the thing.

    ATL: Ok, then. What's your idea of a compromise?

    BNTL: Ideally, all of you out of a job. But since it's not an ideal world, how about this: We don't pay a license fee and do the 'One-Click' thing anyway.

    ATL: Alright, alright. But only if you sign an agreement to never co-operate with, testify for or help any other company we come down on to protect this patent.

    BNTL: Only if Bezos goes public and says he's in favor of patent reform.

    Bezos: What?!?

    ATL: You've GOT to be kidding.

    BNTL: Nope. And say it like you mean it.

    <Some general grumbling on the Amazon side of the table>

    ATL: Deal. But don't ever have the same book of the month as we do!

    BNTL: We've got no problem with that.

    <End scene>

    --

    My sigs always suck.
  5. Obligatory Reference by pangur · · Score: 3, Funny

    Amazon (deep breathing): This is your destiny, search your feelings, you know it to be true.

    B&N: No, I'll never join you.

    Amazon: Join me, and with one-click purchasing and patent enforcement, together we can rule online book sales as Father and Son.

    B&N: Well.........OK. But we have to keep our settlement secret, all right? I'd hate to have my friends know about our little meeting.

    Amazon: I'll have my stormtrooper-lawyers work on our non-disclosure agreement.

    B&N: Oh, and could you help me find my hand?