Windows XP is Listening

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Posted by timothy on Tuesday March 12, 2002 @08:20AM from the this-ought-to-freak-you-out dept.

jfengel writes: "According to Newsbytes, some Windows XP users are finding random words inserted into their text as they write. The problem is caused by XP's speech recongition system, which is turned on by default by some manufacturers. It's listening to the random noise you get even when the mic is turned off. Kind of an insight into your computer's subconscious, perhaps."

7 of 380 comments (clear)

He's baaaaack by StringBlade · 2002-03-12 08:27 · Score: 5, Funny

Dear Mr. Schlock,

[Clippy: Excuse me, it looks like you're writing a letter!]

IIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[What did I say?]

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...and that's the way the cookie crumbles.
1. Re:He's baaaaack by Tackhead · 2002-03-12 08:47 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  > Dear Mr. Schlock,
  >
  > [Clippy: Excuse me, it looks like you're writing a letter!]
  >
  > IIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
  /me walks through an office yelling FORMAT! CEE-COLON! YES!
  Hey, it got rid of the fuckin' paperclip, right?
Mystery Solved! by Anonymous Coward · 2002-03-12 08:28 · Score: 5, Funny

I was wondering why after viewing my Britney Spears jpegs the text "uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh........aaahhhhhhhhhhh" appeared in a minimized Word document that was open at the same time.
Sign up for passport... sign up for passport... by alacqua · 2002-03-12 08:30 · Score: 5, Funny

After further analysis, it was discovered that the seemingly random words were all variations on "sign up for passport". Microsoft has called it an "amazing coincidence" and has distributed instructions for a fix.
Step (1). Sign up for passport.
Step (2). Reboot.
No further problems have been reported after using this technique. Microsoft credits it's new security initiative for the speed and efficacy of this fix, and reminds you to sign up for passport.

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Move on. There's nothing to see here.
In the office of Bill Gates... by SomeoneYouDontKnow · 2002-03-12 08:44 · Score: 5, Funny

"Mr. Gates, we have some more information on the antitrust people. Seems that they got together last night during that attorneys general convention to discuss strategy. Here's the full transcript for you to review. Several copies, actually. Seems they had several laptops sitting around. Uh, ignore this one here. Too many extraneous phrases from some drunk guy talking about how they don't make vodka the way they used to."

"Thanks Steve. God, I love technology! OK, leave those machines alone for a while, until they stop reporting anything useful. Then, pull the unique IDs for them and shut them down during the next round of automatic software updates. Oh yeah, and don't forget to delete the IDs from the reactivation database, since they'll doubtless call in when their systems go down. We'll teach these bastards not to screw with us."

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That light you see at the end of the tunnel might be from an oncoming train.
warning: security hole by banky · 2002-03-12 09:05 · Score: 5, Funny

By shouting 'AAAAAA' 256 times, then mumbling some shell code, it gets executed with Admin privs. Service Pack 5.30e+10 is expected to resolve the problem.

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ZOMG I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS ON MACINTOSH VERSUS WINDOWS, VI VERSUS EMACS, AND HOW YOU'RE NOT A DORK
Re:Major Slowdown by GigsVT · 2002-03-12 09:25 · Score: 5, Funny

to the point where it was taking 15 seconds sometimes for the webbrowser to load.

Are you sure you just didn't install Mozilla by accident?

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I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.