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Face Recognition On Mobile Phones
gpvillamil writes: "This article describes a collaboration between Motorola, Visionics and Wirehound to build in an automatic mug shot recognition capability into mobile phones. Particularly interesting is how the phones will scan all faces in the field of view, and indicate matches by an instant short message."
Someone in the database walks down a crowded street, and the police are bombarded with text messages...
Calling a restaurant:
- Would you have a table at 19:00 ?
- Yes, but you'd better change into something with a tie, mister!
Sig (appended to the end of comments I post, 54 chars)
I'm just waiting for the ads showing the PCS guy with one of these phones.
PCSG:John, tell me what happened.
John:Well, me and some buddies were out having a guys' night out. We had some drinks. Everything was going pretty good. Then this girl came up to us. She was really HOT!
PCSG:John, did you go home with her?
John:(Sheepishly) Yeah.
PCSG:What happened next?
John:I woke up in a bathtub full of ice, with a note that said I should call 911, and found out I was missing a kidney!
PCSG:John, what you really need is this new PCS phone with face recognition technology. You could have identified her and let one of your buddies "jump on the grenade"
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
Just shoot any person who points his cell phone at you...
Having convinced all but the government itself that he is an agent of the government, "Big Brother" is an expert fraudster and con merchant of Ponzi magnitude.
Police today revealed that Big Brother is none other than Jon Katz, frequent insurrectionist and unstable administrator of Slash Dot. From his cell, Katz explains: "Himmler himself said it -- you have to put the populace in a constant state of fear to keep them crying for blood. Or, in this case, to keep them reading and responding to my articles, in a constant state of angry adolescent testosterone-filled repression."
Further questioning revealed Katz' motives. "We needed to convince people to buy from Think Geek. However, there was little market for cliche posters and overpriced gadgets, so we had to convince the readership that such purchases would Protect Their Freedom And Rights. Only under these insane pretences was I able to put forth my suggestion for 'voluntary subscription' for this glorified low SnR newsgroup."
But where did it all go wrong? Apparently, Mr Katz was the prime mover in his own demise. He developed a "Big Brother"-sourced mobile identification system so reliable, so cunning, that it was even able to identify him. "I have to create this technology to keep people believing the government is really out to get them. I thought the police were donut-scoffing retards," regrets Katz, "So I didn't expect suspicion to be aroused when, disguised with moustache and false beard, my demonstration in an attempt to sell the technology to the local police chief identified me as 'Lord and Saviour Of All Mankind."
"In this post-9/11 world," continued Katz, "There is only room for one Larry Ellison." Upon uttering this name, the presiding officer told me that Mr Katz had meeting with his lawyer, and I had to leave the cell.
Slashdot's market value has plummeted since the news was leaked to high flying investors Tom A and Jerry B. Tom A explained, "I thought I was saving the planet by supporting Slashdot, so I used my pocket money to buy 100 subscriptions. Now I no longer see a threat to the American Way of Eating by corrupt government officials, I have lost interest entirely." Jerry B concurred, and promptly departed to activate his new copy of Windows XP.
Dont worry. After a few isolated cases of murders eluding cell phone distributed policing technology (CPDPT) through facial hair and/or masks, congress (along with the phone companies, cell phone makers, police, and the RIAA and MPAA) will pass laws restricting the growth of facial hair and or sunglasses.
Verizon Guy: Can you see me now?...Good.
Verizon Guy: Can you see me now?...Gooooood.
CAn'T CompreHend SARcaSm?