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When Elephants Dance
One Michael Fraase has written an excellent piece on the battle between the entertainment industry and everyone else titled "When Elephants Dance." Well worth reading, and bookmarking, and referring newbies to in order to get them up to speed in the digital content wars. His solution is right on, too, IMHO.
First Homosexual Buttfucking Post (FHBFP). Enjoy.
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This early for Ida! w00t! I love you!
It seems that back in the late 1800's in America (I mention this for those /.ers who don't happen to live in the U.S.) there was this saloon in the
West that was kind of a run-down, ramshackle joint that was frequented by
a few loyal patrons and not too many others. I think it was California, but
it could have been Oregon or someplace similar -- well, the location isn't
really relevant to the story but if you're really interested you might
be able to dig a bit on Google to find out. Basically, while the saloon
didn't go out of its way to publicize itself to out-of-towners (not much
point given that it was in a fairly remote area) it managed to do a fairly
steady trade despite the occasional brawl that caused property damage and
the persistent requests from a particular fellow for free drinks.
More nights than not, the proprietor of the saloon would watch this drunk come wandering in through the doors, sit down, and lay a line on him about how he's trying to pull things together and how he'd just make enough to keep himself in beans and couldn't the bartender just pour him a shot or two to fuzz the edges and whatnot. And again, more nights than not, the bartender would take pity on the poor guy and pull out the whiskey.
Now, this went on for some time, and while the bartender was an easy mark even he had his limit. So one night, after the bartender already gave the fellow three shots on the house, he decides to cut the guy off.
"Look," he says, "while I'm really sorry to hear that things still aren't working out for you I don't think that I can keep giving you free drinks. I've got to make ends meet too, you know."
So the drunk says, "I don't suppose you've got anything I can do to get another drink tonight?"
The proprietor, not particularly wanting the fellow to hang around all night and certainly not expecting him to take him up on his proposition, says "Well, you see that spittoon over there? If you take a swig out of that I suppose I could give you a drink to wash it down."
No sooner did he finish his last sentence than the drunk walked over to the spittoon and hefted it off of the floor. Before the bartender could stop him, the fellow put the rim to his lips, tipped the bottom of the metal container up into the air, and began to swallow. To the bartender's dismayal, the guy continued to slowly chug the thick contents of the spittoon. When he had finally gulped the final remnants of the container, he threw it to the ground, wiped off his lips with his shirt cuff, and gagged, "So, do I get the drink?"
"You can have the bottle!" exclaimed the bartender, immediately pouring the first shot. "But tell me, why did you swallow the whole damn thing? You only needed to swig it to earn the drink."
The drunk replies: "It was all one long string."
It's /.ed already anyway!
YOU ARE A SLAVE
Hello everyone. I have a terrible problem with elephants in my garden. They are dancing and eating everything and pooping everywhere. My neighbor out back has just gotten a permit for a dancing elephant and he doesn't have an adequate fence to keep them performing in his yard. All I have is one of those wooden fences which offers no protection at all. Have you ever seen what a hungry elephant can do to a wooden fence? Or in that matter, a Linux geek in heat?
First they ate the rest of my lettuce, then they ate my peas. Now I have no broccoli, cauliflowers or brussel sprouts. How am I supposed to eat a decent meal? Since they ate my habanero pepper plant that had 3 tiny peppers on it (they ate that with the eggplant, sort of like they were spicing a dish) I don't think pepper spray will slow them down. In fact, they keep dancing back and forth between the basil and the tomatoes now. Do you think these are Italian elephants?
Luckily, most of my soil is hardpan so I don't have giant footprints to contend with but have you ever seen elephant poop? Whoa! talk about your black hills! I tried to get them to go poop in the compost bin behind the shed but have you ever tried to bin train an elephant? Enough said!
Can any of your experienced gardeners help me with my problem? Can you at least tell me how to get them to lose the pink tutus they wear when dancing? Thanks.
--Metrollica
damn karma whore
Despite what they would have you believe, the entertainment industry is remarkably un-diverse in its demographic make-up. Industry analysts have put together an eye-opening report documenting this shocking lack of diversity..
Florbleglomknptht.
Thanks to this karma whore I was able to actually read the article.