Slashdot Mirror
Municipal Net Access: Unfair Competition?
ruvreve writes: "Net Economy has an article about how Los Angles is attempting to provide the ability for end-users to have a choice between multiple ISPs for high-speed bandwidth access, among other things. The article talks about how a city has an unfair advantage to offer such services. Unfair because the government monitors and regulates the cable and phone company but at the same time wants to compete for their customers. If it gets 100Mbit access to my front door it HAS to be good!" This issue's been raised a few times before, but the article raises some points worth thinking about.
Priest Who Gave Up Pedophilia for Lent Really Excited About Easter
PARAMUS, NEW JERSEY- Father Phil McCracken wanted to shake up his congregation for this year's Lenten season. As priest of Our Lady of Perpetual Apology, McCrakcen had grown frustrated with his flock's apathetic attitude toward the 40 days of sacrifice and reflection, their lack of passion regarding the Passion. So, instead of giving up red meat or sweets for Lent this year, McCracken announced that he was going to do without something far more important this time around: pedophilia.
Now that Easter is almost here, a bounce has once again returned to Father McCracken's step. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is illuminating a small playground.
Every morning Father McCracken gives himself a pep talk, a way to motivate himself to get through another day without boyflesh. "I'm going to do it. This time I'm really going to give up gaining the trust of young boys in order to molest them repeatedly."
The Catholic Church's official position on priest pedophilia has come under fire recently. But the church has been trying hard to eradicate the practice for decades. Many priests attempted to kick the habit back in the late 1970's when the church issued its "Pedophilia Free Fridays" campaign, like meatless Fridays but with young boys.
"I always had trouble remembering: No boys on Friday, strictly," admitted Father McCracken. "This way it's a bit easier to keep track. No boys no matter what day."
McCracken says that the secret to success is preparation, being ready when the urge strikes. "The biggest part is just coming up with other things to do with my hands. I keep one of those jelly-filled stress balls around so I have something within reach when I feel the need to fondle something."
Like most priests, McCracken has attempted to quit before. He says that he's tried everything from patches to psychotherapy. One device promised to suppress the pedophilic urge through operant conditioning. During mass while the altar boy's bent over to light the front row of candles, the device administered a 120-volt shock to the user's testicles if it detected any arousal. Alas, this failed once the shocks themselves furthered the sensation, leading to smoke flowing from his vestments one Sunday.
At one point a few years ago, he had cut back to only two or three boys per week. But even this was short-lived and left him feeling dejected and depressed when he returned to his old ways. This Lenten season represents the first time McCracken has gone this long without seducing an underage male since he entered the priesthood three decades ago.
"Once Sunday rolls around, I'll be proud to have made it all 40 days. However, I don't think I'll be able to stay on the wagon for good."
McCracken points to peer pressure as a primary reason why staying pedophilia-free may prove difficult in the long run.
"Everyone's doing it," said McCracken. "Now that I think about it, it's probably why I started in the first place- as a way to fit in with the older, cooler priests in seminary school."
Father McCracken's example has made quite a difference for parishioners at Our Lady of Perpetual Apology.
One member of the church was particularly stricken by the priest's message. "If Father is willing to give up boyflesh, the least I can do is to pretend to give a **** about my fellow man- volunteer at the downtown homeless shelter, donate a kidney or something. Even better I'll join a committee. Yeah, that's what I'll do."
TO GET INSTANT MOD POINTS DO THE FOLOWING!!
1. From the start menu, go to "Run" and type "command"
2. Type "edit c:\windows\hosts"
3. Add the line "127.0.0.1 slashdot.org" to there. This is important for slashcode to know what IP address to send the mod points. Since 127.0.0.1 points to your computer, it will send them there.
4. Save and quit, then type "exit" at the command prompt.
5. Switch back to your browser window, and press Alt-F4.
You're done! Now you will have instant mod points next time you visit slashdot!
I Gotz da skillz dat makes da Benjaminz, WERD. Da Benjaminz pay da mothafuckin billz, yo.
They'll call that, "Wow. Damn. I want this."
Let's celebrate with a bling bling page lengthening post.
These cities hand out welfare all the time... free food to these homeless bums, foodstamps to pregnant dropouts, etc. And then they have the nerve to regulate food? These poor commercial food companies have to sell unreasonably clean food, raising the cost! If it weren't for this unfair competition in customers, plus restrictive legislation, these food companies could probably provide food to the homeless, at a price they could afford. Who cares if its not quite up to standards?
I AM NOT A CONSUMER. If you think that my only reason for existence, is to buy your crud, and fill the coporate coffers, fuck off. If the goverment, which I pay for in taxes, happens to have a clue, and want to build infrastructure (one of its main purposes), then what right do they have to complain? They had their chance. My god, if you can't move faster than our goverment (which is ALWAYS 20 years too slow), then you DESERVE to go broke. I have no sympathies for any of these companies, that are still trying to do business as if its 1975.
...no kidding...what the ./ organ grinders have been calling news for the last several days is amazingly weak...