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Intel Puts The Squeeze On ... A Yoga Foundation?
geogeek6_7 writes: "Intel Inc., everyone's favorite chipmaker, has apparently decided that they own the rights to the word 'Inside.' In proceedings bordering on the line of frivolity, the Yoga Inside Foundation has been tagged with trademark infringment in papers submitted to the PTO by Intel. The article states that Intel will most likely use the Trademark Dilution Act of 1995 in court." Don't worry, Intel doesn't want every instance of the word "Inside" -- only the ones that come right after another word. (Look at the meaning of "Inside" that the YIF is referring to, and the story gets even more absurd.)
WARNING: Lawyers Inside.
There is no longer anything that can be done with computers that is nontrivial and clearly legal. -- Paul Phillips
I guess the lawyers for Intel have a trademark on "Evil Inside".
I guess their lawyers figure people will confused between yoga and a company with their head up their ass.
"Trademarks are the heraldry of the new feudalism."
...we can post stories like this so only the U.S. citizens can see them? This is humiliating.
"Litigious Assholes Inside"
~Philly
Select this as the new name for you "Greenhouse DYI kit" and you will get "two for One" Lawsuits.
Help fight continental drift.
I called intel tech support and they said the reason my new CPU won't boot is because its actually a 2 week yoga program. I felt a little embarrassed, but the techie said it's a common complaint and Intel is working on it.
I have to agree with Intel on this one. How would you feel if you spent billions on an ad campaign, and then another company decided to change one word (which, in this case, constitutes half your slogan) and register it as its own? Obviously, Intel and the yoga foundation are not competitors in any sense, but it simply "isn't fair" to piggy-back on the expensive brainwashing Intel's already done. I'm sure Apple would be annoyed with anyone who made " different" their slogan. Of course, Microsoft will never have this problem because its slogans are always some variation of "it just works," which it could never prove in court it has a right to use anyway.
--
I romp with joy in the bookish dark
It kind of makes want to rush out and register "Just To Make Our Lawyers Fuzzy Inside". Just picture the court room.
:)
"Yes, your honor, we are suing Just To Make Our Lawyers Fuzzy Inside"
Finally, some honesty in the legal system.
They will be shortly re-issuing the CD with these sanitized lyrics that are more compatible with current American sensitivities:
I want to FUCK you like an animal
I want to feel you from the in***e
When asked for comment, band leader Trent Reznor said: "Yeah, I'm upset about this. But I feel better knowing that I've personally scored more chicks than all of the dorks working at Intel combined."
Excerpt from new OSHA regulation on computer systems: "....if said motherboard is equipped with an Intel central processing unit, an appropriate warning label bearing the words 'Intel Inside' shall be permanently affixed to the case in a prominent location."
- Bruce Murphy
$x='S24;r)>63/* h@<5+oZ)32"5cz';$me='phroggy'x$];
$x=~y+ -xz+\0-Tx+;print$_^chop$me for split'',$x;
Dear trademark infringer,
Please stop using our trademark Inside - or we'll put you inside.
Yours,
Intel
Video Game cheats, hints a
Hmm. Who knows, if the BigCo[tm] C?O's took yoga from these people, maybe the world would be a bigger practice. Western "Spanish Inquisition" tactics giving way to eastern philosophy.. a new synergy could form among the tech industry.. Sun & Intel get together to form the most powerful and cheap chips to empower everyone on the planet for their own good.. Sun, RedHat, and Microsoft get together to make a unified OS with the powers of each and the weaknesses of none that anyone on the planet could use simply, but would handle the most difficult task with sveltely..
Err.. hold on... this isn't a marlboro.
provider of yoga lessons, especially one that's so clearly fighting the good fight, karmawise.
Does anyone know how I can contact them?
I want some more Karma!!!
I stole this Sig
I'm am going to put a gigantic sign on the front of my house that says
"I'm inside"
better yet, someone should sell bumper stickers that say, "people inside"
Suggested new trademark for Intel: Lawyers Inside
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
The yoga people are offering the Intel Exec's free lessons so that they can learn to be a little more "flexible."
Intel should take a lesson from Southwest Airlines. A few years back, some small North Carolina company called them up claiming to have prior rights to "Just Plane Smart". And instead of threatening legal action, they suggested an arm-wrestling match - i.e. winner takes the trademark.
Southwest actually sent a wrestler (who lost), and won a ton of PR points for it.
So now I have to wonder. According to Intel, we could have.
Is it to late to trademark "Virtual\ .+" ?
Build stuff. Stuff that walks, stuff that rolls, whatever.
There are 80 basic Yoga postures, and 80,000 variations.
And not one of them is called the 'intel'.
In fact, the only posture you'll find associated with an 'intel', is the "shoulderhouchedoverkeyboardstrainedneckahansa" -- and that is definetly not a classic Yoga posture.
There's also the "repetitivestressisfuckingmywristsahansa", and the "mybodywilldieprematurelyfromlackofexcerciseahansa " posture.
But none of these will be found on a Yoga video.
And don't get me started on diet.
Really, "Yoga" is associated with health, while "intel" is associated with unhealth.
Yoga means the joining of mind and body. Intel means the joining of your arse to the chair.
There is no possibility of confusing these two things, 'yoga' and 'intel'.
I suggest the lawyers sow a label onto the back of their trowsers, "shit inside", and then they can sue their own asses off.
Dear Intel,
How about I jam my foot inside your ass.
Yours,
dimator
python -c "x='python -c %sx=%s; print x%%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))%s'; print x%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))"
right here
Here Come The Woman
With The Look In Her Eye
Raised On Leather
With Flesh On Her Mind
Words As Weapons Sharper Than Knives
Makes You Wonder How The Other Half Die
Other Half Die
Here Come The Man
With The Look In His Eye
Fed On Nothing
But Full Of Pride
Look At Them Go
Look At Them Kick
Makes You Wonder How The Other Half Live
Intel inside
Intel inside
Every Single One Of Us With Intel inside
Intel inside
Intel inside
Every Single One Of Us With Intel inside
Here Come The World
With The Look In Its Eye Future Uncertain
But Certainly Slight
Look At The Faces
Listen To The Bells
It's Hard To Believe We Need A Place Called Hell
Intel might as well go after pr0n sites that entice users to Cum Inside®.
How dare you people criticize the little guys like Intel. Larger non-profit (profit-making) business like YIF have forced feeble organizations like Intel into submission. Most people don't know that YIF distributes products such as the Yoga Pentium and the Yoga Celeron. Give peace a chance!
.smell my feet.
So lets all fire up a website with "yourname" inside and see if INTEL will go bankrupt trying to sue everyone
Its not a related product, isnt that one of the TM dilution areas? Its not a computer product. So how can it dilute the computer TM?
Transcendental Meditation? TM (tm)? TM (tm) (tm)?? If Intel would use a nice strong TM, perhaps TM wouldn't worry them so much.
Ok, with all this fuss from Intel about "Intel inside" and the mystical powers it endows upon Intel that allow it to sue innocent companies, I decided to check it out.
"Check what out?" you might ask. Well, in short, I wanted to check out what's 'inside'. So I did.
Now, to do this with a Pentium 4 would be silly. It's an expensive chip and I don't like the idea of supporting Intel's legal BS with my purchases. I found a couple of 486's laying around (33MHz if you're curious) and decided I should immediately set out to find out what's 'inside'.
Noticing the top is one piece told me to focus my efforts on relieving the chips of their bottom plate which I theorized (having neither the time nor the inclination to actually find out) were simply either glued or soldered on. Working under this theory, I tried using a small straighthead scewdriver to scrape away whatever was holding it in place on the outside and try to pry under the plate.
After realizing this was going nowhere fast, I looked around and decided the best way in was to reverse the process by which it was assembled. Keep in mind I had no intention of trying to actually do anything with what I found, nor do I have the expertise to figure out how any of it worked. I just wanted to see what the hell is 'inside'. I therefore decided to use a small butaine torch. This should, I theorized, heat up the glue or whatever enough to allow me to get into the plate.
I'm going to say this once and I hope everyone listens... DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF WITHOUT GLOVES, LONG SLEEVES, LONG PANTS, AND GOGGLES! Also make sure someone is very nearby (within talking distance) in case something goes wrong. I STRONGLY recommend you NOT try this AT ALL.
Ok, now torch in one hand, vice grips in the other, I proceeded to heat the plate up as much as possible. Pins were glowing, popping and crackling sounds were easily heart, and I started smelling a rather odd burning smell. Eventually the plate came off (dropped off the first one, was pryed off the second one) and I got my first look at what's 'inside'.
Take it from me Intel, this ain't worth suing over. Fire your lawyers and go back to making stuff. It's basically a little rectangular piece of material held into place by a bunch of small gold traces (one for each pin). It looks like the hologram cards from the old Marvel X-men cards. Well, I figured I should investigate further, so I lit up my investigation tool (torch) and went back to work. After maybe 10 minutes of torching various places, the chip pretty much exploded. I have to hand it to Intel, their die held up pretty well until the chip blew apart. Basically, there was a loud 'pop' and about half the cpu flew off to my right about 4 or 5 feet. Pieces of the die went all over and it was altogether really cool.
So anyway, that's the basic story, second CPU didn't explode, and by then I had taken out goggles and gloves to protect myself in case it did. So without further adu, I send you off here so you can see the pictures of what's 'inside'. Trademarks have been edited out for my continued enjoyment of not getting tossed in an 8x10 foot cell with "Bubba".
Enjoy.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."