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CPAN Shifts Focus

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the java-means-quality-if-you're-on-crack dept.

cascadefx writes "Looks like CPAN has changed its focus to support Java now. A look at their page shows that is is now CJAN, the Comprehensive Java Archive Network where you will find all things Java." This should be a great boon to Java, a language renown for, well, sucking. But at the expense of the greatest of all languages? It's just too sad for me to express in words. I mean, who uses java anyway?

3 of 191 comments (clear)

  1. Sun Must Be Stopped by Zuna · · Score: 5, Funny

    Java really does suck. Just look at this latest press release...

    Mountain View, CA -- Sun Microsystems today filed a trademark infringement
    against the island of Java* over the use of Sun's Java* trademark.

    Responding to criticism that the island has been called Java* for
    centuries, Sun lawyer Frank Cheatham said "Yeah, and in all that time they
    never filed for a trademark. They deserve to lose the name."

    Rather than pay the licensing fee, the island decided to change its name.
    They originally voted to change it to Visu Albasic, but an angry telegram
    from Redmond, Washington convinced them otherwise. The country finally
    settled on a symbol for a name -- a neatly-colored coffee cup which still
    evokes the idea of java. Since most newspapers and magazines will not be
    able to print the name of the island, it will hereafter be referred to in
    print as "The Island Formerly Known As Java*".

    The Island Formerly Known As Java* bills itself as a cross-landmass island,
    but so far has only been implemented in production on the Malay
    Archipelago. Africa is been rumored to have implemented it on Madagascar,
    but it is still in alpha testing.

    Lawyers from Sun would also like to locate the owners of the huge fiery
    ball at the center of the solar system. They have some legal papers for
    them...

    *Java is a Trademark of Sun Microsystems, Inc. Anyone caught using the
    trademark without permission will be beaten, flogged, sued, and forced to
    use Microsoft products.

    (Taken from an old Usenet post.)

  2. Re:Moderation on Slashdot Stories by gamgee5273 · · Score: 5, Funny
    Ummmm

    (looks around)

    Nope.

  3. Re:Who uses java. by nakaduct · · Score: 5, Funny
    on a project with 150,000 lines of code, I pray to god it's not Perl.
    Understandable, since that much Perl would probably be sentient.

    I think of "150000 lines of Perl" the same way I'd think of 100 million lines of C -- it's conceivable that much could exist, but I can imagine no problem whose solution demands so much complexity.

    cheers,
    mike