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CNN Says Chat Rooms Are a Haven for Hackers
MiTEG writes "CNN is carrying an article about IRC and how it aids "hackers" with their mischief. There are some alarming quotes from Bruce Schneier, CTO of Counterpane Technologies, such as "people who are anti-big-corporation are going to be more likely to use something like IRC"." Yeah, if they ever hung out in our chatroom, they'd
lock us all up for abusing Kurt the Pope.
to all my dead homies
This is news? To who?
nya
You know, sometimes, reporters just have to get a grip.
"Einstein argued that [...] God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." ~ Brooks
what do you know, they did it again!
ding ding ding!!! we have a winner johnny!! mod this boy up for us please.
But guns do kill people.
I submitted this story yesterday.....
...we are from the government - we are here to help...
Will the government hang around slashdot to find hacker names....? I wonder.
CNN is carrying an article about IRC and how it aids "chemists" with their mischief
CNN is carrying an article about IRC and how it aids "teachers" with their mischief
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
The scene was UCLA. Two students were talking to each other. Their names were Heinz Klagendorff, an established editor, and Arthur Von Schmitt. Little did they know that a meteor was about to crash into the student parking lot. It landed on a BMW, destroying its entire frame. Suddenly, strange radiation started to flow from the rock. It physically altered the two men. It increased their size. Suddenly, a transparent image came from the meteor. It was of an old man in ancient robes. He said onto the two large fellows, "I am close to death, but my power will live on. I choose you, Arthur. You will have my god-like powers." He suddenly vanished into thin air, and the meteor disintegrated.r -your-arm-off appeared.
The mutation had severly torn their clothes, leaving them nearly naked. In the interest of not creating a scene, they ran off, and hid to avoid the crowds. Luckily, they made it back to their dorm room. They just stood for hours, thinking how much their lives have changed. "What the hell am I going to do? I'll never get to be a writer now," said Arthur in despair. " Wait! Didn't that old man say you have god-like powers?" said Heinz, trying to look on the bright side. " Yes, but I have to create the spell before I can use it. Wait; how did I know that?" said Arthur in puzzlement. "It seems now that I bear the knowledge to write magic and an infinite number of things. I can create enough spells to make me almost a living god. I can create an empire from this rotting, corrupted country. I shall be a true Emperor with supreme power over state," said Arthur, in complete upliftance from what seemed to be a predicament.
After a while Heinz snuck back to his room, while Arthur spent all night writing spells. The first few started off simple, but, as the more he wrote, the more complex and powerful they became. The following morning, Heinz returned to Arthur's room to see what was going on. He was suprised to see Arthur still writing magic. "Heinz, my good man. I've completed over fifty spells so far. Soon I can initiate the ultimate plan. Heinz, my friend, the United States is a rotting husk, filled with corruption and greed. What I propose is a constitutional monarchy, with me as the monarch. What do you say, old friend?" " Ah, what the hell. I might as well. It must be more exciting then finishing college," replied Heinz.
Three hours later, they were packed up and ready to leave college. Arthur then chanted a minor spell of creation, and summoned a '64 Cadillac, loaded up their stuff in the trunk, and drove out to the edge of town. They stopped at an area near the sea shore, and spent the night trying to plan their assault, which would take Los Angeles completely by suprise.
Late that night, Arthur just gazed out at the ocean, as a lightning storm formed. In a low tone he uttered, "It has begun." The next morning, Heinz and Arthur got up and readied themselves, using the troop designs they made. A powerful spell of creation was chanted, and suddenly one-thousand reptilian soldiers in battle armour with powerful looking three-chambered fully-automatic-rifles-with-a-kick-that-could-tea
Arthur looked at Heinz's clothing, and then his own. It didn't seem like the clothing a warrior would charge into battle with. Then with the uttering of a few words, fine looking battle armour appeared on them. On Arthur sat a crown with three prongs standing erect topped with large, finely crafted rubies. The armour was highly crafted, completely black, shining like it caught the sun itself, with a fine gold trim around the shoulder and waist areas. It had two small lion heads on the chest that held a fine red cape. The sword sheath was black, with a finely decorated gold tip that held a powerful looking long sword with a silver horned skull with ruby eyes on the handle guard. He also wore purple pants with decorative armoured boots with a horned skull that had two ruby eyes. His forearm bands were black with a gold trim. Heinz's armour was similair, except that he wore a battle helmet. It was black with a gold trim around the face opening. It had two large horns coming out the side. On the top sat a silver skull similair to the ones that decorate the sword hilts and armoured boots, except that it had like a red unbraided tail coming from the top of the skull that came down.
With the uttering of a spell of creation, a fleet of troop transports appeared, each with a seargent and driver. The troops loaded up into them , and they departed, heading for Los Angeles. They left each in an even row, with Heinz and Arthur in the lead transports. Soon they approached the Los Angeles thruway. Unfortunately, it was during eight o'clock traffic. "Ah, to hell with this, we're driving through," said Arthur in rage. So, the massive transports roared, as they started driving over the cars in front of them. After a few transports ploughed through, the cars started moving aside. Just when they thought they saw the end of the traffic jam, a police car came speeding towards them. Arthur only stared, but then he signaled the driver to fire the roof cannon at the speeding police cruiser. The roof cannon's Gatling gun-like barrel whirled, unleashing a deadly spray of Magnesium-tipped explosive shells, that utterly annhilated the car in the wink of an eye. The front transports ploughed through the wreckage, not even taking notice of the burning steel on the road. The fleet of transports soon entered the city, heading straight for city hall. When they reached city hall, the tranports completely surrounded the place, as the 1000 Ingangasard soldiers poured out of the transports and completely surrounded the building, cutting off all routes of escape. A small contingent went in with Heinz and Arthur, heading straight to the mayors office. Heinz and Arthur barged right into the mayor's office, nearly breaking the doors down. The mayor came from the window. Obviosly she was staring down at what was going on in the streets. "What do you want?" said the mayor in fear. "We want the city old woman!" said Arthur with anger in his voice. "Oh no you won't, I'm not giving over this city to some muscle-bound moron and some wierdos in rubber masks." replied the mayor. "Look out there, you dried up old husk! The police won't stand a chance against my troops!" said Arthur, showing even greater anger than before. Soon, police cars were starting to head toward city hall, where the Ingangasard troops started opening fire. They were cutting down cops, patrol cruisers, and swat team members, showing little mercy. After an hour of fighting, the police surrendered. Soon, the Mayor surrendered the city over to Arthur. Then, everyone got back into the transports, and drove to the center of the town. There stood a bunch of old skyscrapers that would be torn down. "Let's save the city some money, and tear these monstrousities down for them. I shall replace them with a great palace that will be fit to rule my great empire from," said Arthur, basking in his glory. He then mumbled a chant, his hands started to glow, the buildings collapsed, as a huge tower bursted from the earth. Many more towers and buildings followed, until it revealed a monstrous gothic castle, indeed a structure to notice. As everyone went in, Arthur pointed out the troops' temporary barracks, as Arthur and Heinz went to the office, from which Arthur would command his kingdom. "Now then, Heinz, my good friend, we must plan out the attack wave in which we shall conquer California," said Arthur. The plan seemed simple. A simple suprise attack going out from all directions. The only problem was the lack of forces. "There is only one problem with our plan: we lack the forces to carry it out," said Heinz, sighing over the major fact that they forgot. "Heinz, my old friend, you forget; I'm the most powerful person on this God forsaken rock we call a planet. Give me a few hours, and I shall have the forces that I need," said Arthur in a near mad state. Arthur immediatly headed for the library, where his spell books were kept. After a few hours, there arouse a near deafening thunder, suddenly there appeared a swarm of fighter jets, 100,000 Ingangasard troops, and a battalion of menacing looking tanks. Arthur slowly walked back into the office and said sarcastically, "Is that enough forces for you?" and the two only laughed, as they looked out the window and looked at their vast addition to the army. Several days later, the entire force pulled out, including Heinz and Arthur, both mounted on huge magically conjured horses capable of supporting their weight. They headed out of the city by horse trails and such. About a half a mile out, they split up, heading for the surrounding counties of Southern California. The attacks moved swiftly with little resistance. They were well assured that not a single person would expect an invasion, especially from within their own state. They returned to Los Angeles the next morning with all of Southern California, from the Mexican border to Santa Babera all under Arthur's control. Later that week broadcasted from the palace on national television, was the coronation, that changed him from Arthur Von Schmitt into Emperor Arthur the I, founder and ruler of EmperiActic, "The Last Empire on Earth." In the next few months, people started to feel the change of the government. Strict measures were taken to prevent political corruption. It was very much like a witch hunt. Corrupt politicians were disgraced, and their sentences, not too leniant. Some were even sent to San Quentin.
There was also a need to replace the standard police force. They soon brought in Ingangasards who seemed just perfect; they're cool under pressure, their scaly hide is virtually impervious to all forms of bullets, and they possess the strength to handle heavy weapons. With these changes came almost a complete reversion to the thirties; police now started to carry improved Thompson sub-machine guns, and Ingangasards could use the once dangerous fully automatic pistols whose kick-back could dislocate a shoulder. This left human police to be transferred into undercover and plainclothes divisions.
Not too long after the palace came into being, also came a ressurection of Gothic and Victorian architecture, apparently inspired by the palace. The glass and steel skyskrapers were being replaced by buildings of these once forgotten architectural styles.
All of this happened when the United States was so deep in debt that they couldn't even afford to send in troops to retake Southern California. Yet still, there was more in store for EmperiActic.
The following months were rather hard for the new emperor, almost non-stop combat occured in the take-over of the rest of California. Many battles in these early campaigns would go down in history; the bombardment of Sacremento, the storming of San Francisco. Some called the Emperor a muscle bound, half-crazed bufoon, but they soon learned their lesson.
With the borders finally established the Emperor began concentrating on other matters, such as creating an ulimited source of Ingangasard troops. The answer was finally clear; genetic engineering would be used to produce the greatest warriors in Earth's history. The Emperor himself would lead the research team. With the Emperor heading the research team, the project was sure to be a sucess. The reason for such hopes was simple; the Emperor held intelligence beyond most human comprehention, and possessed a very creative mind. The project would also seem easy to start by basing the base on already known theories and facts in the field studied by many government agencies, and major corporations. Thus, the quest began to create the ultimate soldier.
It took months to get beyond the barriers that held back other earlier researchers. Even if this project did fail, they would have already made several ground breaking discoveries. Yet they did not stop or quit. They pushed further, letting nothing get in their way. The Emperor was said to be inspirational, never tiring or giving up. At times he worked all night just to get better results.
Soon, the team's first major product of their long research was completed; a large genetic incubator was created. Some called it a steel womb, yet a prototype was ready. The incubator had passed the initial tests with flying colors, but now came the real test. A large amount of genetic protoplasmic mass was placed in the incubator, and if the experiment worked, in approximatly three months, this pulsing mass of genetic goo would turn into a fully formed ingangasard.
With the first month a sucess, the Emperor ordered thousands more of these incubators to be constructed, before the end of the three month gestation period of the prototype. Just before the end of the third month, the three-thousandth incubator was completed.
With the physical construction completed, the easy part was completed. Now came the most crucial part; the development of the mind. Luckily, the Emperor already had a theory concerning the creation of a fully developed intellect and personality; a systematic randomization of images of everything around the Los Angeles area, from accents to archetecture and fashion hoping to create what would be a full fledged citizen of Los Angeles. This coupled with large amounts of educational images all being pumped into a mind thirsting for knowledge. This first genetically created ingangasard was a sucess. They named him Adam Nutz after Dr. Randall Stellson, the geneticist who created the genetic material that was the basis for the research team's engineering experiments. Soon Adam was brought into the ranks of the army, and three thousand of his brethren would soon become part of the Emperial legions.
Oh my fucking god. Mainstream media "discovers" IRC (once again.)
Trolling the masses must be tiresome work.
rgb
please post server address and appropriate channels so we may all go flame them and give them a good slashdotting via irc.
I used chatrooms to experiment with homosexuality. I met an older man online and proceeded to have quite a bit of sexual intercorse with the gentleman. Though I finally decided that homosexuality is not for me, overall I enjoyed the experience though my bum is still quite sore.
What next?
"Lightning doesn't kill people. God kills people."