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Microsoft's $40 Billion On Hand
eMilkshake writes "CNN/Money magazine report here that Microsoft has more liquid reserves than 'Ford, ExxonMobil and Wal-Mart have combined' and 'enough to buy the entire airline industry -- twice. Or all the gold in Fort Knox, four times over. It is enough to buy 23 space shuttles or every major professional baseball, basketball, football and hockey team in America.' This is thanks to (according to WinInfo Update) the fact that 'Microsoft handles its investments with an inhouse software application called--seriously--the Catastrophe Hedging Program 2.5.' I wonder what I would do with $40 billion?"
Man, if I had that kind of cash sitting around I'd be tempted to buy the DOJ. Oh, wait....
There is no reasonable defense against an idiot with an agenda
:wq
So M$ DOES get a nickel for everytime Windows crashes...
Karma whorin' since 1999
> Four US stealth fighters, or 40 stealth bombers.
Oh, oh... don't give bill any ideas now...
Don't think about the billions they have now, think about the billions they are losing because of those greedy poor grade schools who are allegedly not using properly licensed donated PCs.
Q: How are all these liquid assets held? Gold? Deposit accounts?
A: Mostly greenbacks, some gold and other precious metals. It's all held in a gargantuan bin, several city blocks on a side, with a giant dollar sign on the front. Bill likes to swim in it.
Q: The bin, I assume, is heavily secured.
A: Surprisingly, no. MS Security is quite porous, considering the massive resources available to it, and is often compromised by sub-literate ex-cons and bored underachieving teenagers (including, purportedly, Mr. Gates' own nephews.)
Q: Isn't he afraid it might be stolen?
A: Occasionally, as mentioned, thuggish dog-faced brutes will attempt to break into the bin. However, what Bill really worries about is that some practitioner of the dark arts might infiltrate his mansion and steal the first dime he ever earned - the magical powers of which are the only thing that keeps MS successful in spite of the low quality of their primary product.
The good and new comes from no quarter where it is looked for, and is always something different from what is expected.
They're not using MS Money for that?
Uh oh... we all know no Microsoft product is usable until version 3.0.