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Wireless Spam?
An Anonymous Coward asks: "Recently I've begun to get spam on my e-mail equipped cellphone. Now, you have to realize I took every precaution to make sure this never happened: I have never used that e-mail address anywhere; I have an alias set up on my server that forwards to it; and I only use the alias for my own personal use. However, the spam I'm getting is not going through my server's alias to get to the phone -- I checked the logs. Multiple complaints to Voicestream's abuse address have not even evoked a response. The only way I can figure they got my address is either: Voicestream supplied it to the spammer; or the spammer entered all Voicestream phone numbers in e-mail format. Either way, I'm pissed at Voicestream. Also, I know for a fact I'm not the only Voicestream customer having this problem. The guys at work are getting the exact same spam at the exact same time. Is anyone else having this problem now? It's enough to make me drop my e-mail address on my phone. Could you imagine deleting 80 spams a day from your cellphone?"
TEL: 234 8023132472, FAX: 234 - 1 - 7595586
HELSINKI, FINLAND
Dear Sir,
I write you this letter of request for partnership which I hope you will give your urgent attention. We worked as members of the Operating System / Penguin Abuse Committee inaugurated by the present Democratically Elected Committee of the Electronic Frontier Foundation headed by General Richard Stallman (rtd). We are empowered to diligently review, re-appraise, scrutinize and approve feces payments to Linux users who executed *BSD devils under the past operating system regime and our work is almost concluded.
In the course of our work we discovered this fecal matter, which resulted from grossly over-used toilets, which were executed for the GNU is Not Unix Corporation (GNU) by a consortium of several Foreign Companies such as:
VA SOFTWARE, RED HAT, INC., SUSE GMBH. AND A JOINT VENTURE OF MANDRAKE AND CALDERA GMBH FOR: This amounts to the tune of 100 tons of fecal matter, but was over-invoiced to 150 tons of feces. And we deliberately approved these fecal deposits and all Lunix users have been paid with these penguins executed and since abused, leaving the large amount of Eric S Raymond's magnificent deposit floating in the escrow pool of the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) ready to be paid for the sexual services from the products in item number [2] as stated above. Before digressing further I would want you to know that our GNU General Public License forbids us from owning any money or having heterosexual relationships whilst in GNU service; hence we are contacting you to be part of this transaction.
We intend to use your anus as a front to get the over-invoiced amount of 50 tons of feces out of the BSD sewers and into a designated toilet by you. Not regarding your field of specialization (sphincter expansion) you are going to forward us with any name that we will claim executed the sewaging services in the turn around maintenance of the Penguin fecal abuse farms mentioned above. All logistics are in place and all modalities worked out for the smooth insertion of the feces within ten to fourteen days of commencement after the receipt of a semen deposit from you. You are going to get 25% of the feces by posing as the owner of this fecal matter, while my colleagues and I will get 70% to ourselves with which we wish to invest in Agriculture and Farming in conjunction with you (and 5% will be set aside for the use of both parties for all excretions incurred locally and internationally during the realisation of this transaction, including toilet paper). As a matter of fact you are expected to take a sincere inventory of your toilet paper.
It is imperative to let you know that I am also a keen scatologist, with qualifications world-wide.
Despite research carried out to verify and ascertain your personality we can only move ahead if you can further assure us of your anal capacity and homosexuality and promise to help and treat this proposal with utmost confidentiality. We are men of proven integrity in our various fields who have put in 22 - 30 years of fecal matter in the toilets of our country; we are therefore averse to having our image and anuses widened. That is why we should acknowledge the fact that confidentiality is the key to the smooth insertion of this infection free transaction.
Awaiting your earliest positive response.
Best regards and remain blessed.
DR. LUNIX TORVALDS