For Those Who Wish to be Programmers?

Ryan asks: "I've been stuck in a helpdesk position at 3 different companies for the past 5 years. What I really would like to be doing is programming. At each job, I would write small programs or dynamic web pages in PHP with a MySQL backend, a few small Linux utilities for automating jobs and small Win32 programs, all written in C. Sure, these programs were popular with my fellow coworkers, my boss liked them, but my primary function there is to answer phones, and programming is secondary. I can not transfer to the 'programming department' because its located in another state, nor would I think that department would welcome me, only because I would be coming from a helpdesk. My programming is self-taught, and I don't have a diploma from a university. I'm 25, and have a family, night school is out of the question. The market here (Danbury,-Connecticut) is dry, and HR wouldn't even look at my resume with out a degree. I know someone out there must have been in the same situation and some how gotten their foot in the door. What did you do? Any suggestions?" I'm sure there many on Slashdot who have been in this situation. If you wouldn't mind sharing your experiences on this matter, it would be appreciated. Share the ups and downs of your decisions and in particular, please answer the question: If you had to do it all over again, would you make the same decisions? Those interested in this topic may also wish to check out the the last article that touches on this subject.

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"Attack of the Clones" Sucks Ass

[Roto-Rooter Man]

Star Wars Episode II -- Attack of the Clones finally got its press screening yesterday afternoon. The anticipation level was high, what with Spider-Man breaking box-office records this past weekend.

Star Wars is the franchise of franchises. People are fanatic about it. There's almost no way to live up to the expectations.

So let me tell this right away: Fans love Clones; critics are not so hot for it.

Why do fans like it so much? I think part of it is just seeing George Lucas' latest chapter in the saga up there on the screen. The die-hard cultists are just so pleased that they can live with the enormous faults: hideous dialogue, bad plotting and infomercial-grade acting.

I liked a lot of Clones, especially the second half, and I predict that the big-money climax will bring audiences back for second viewings.

WARNING: There are spoilers from here on out. AND HERE IT COMES: Yoda is the star of this Star Wars.

Ironically, Yoda is no longer even a puppet. He's digitally enhanced. But when the Gandhi of the Star Wars epic engages in a light-saber duel he literally saves Episode II from quicksand. It's remarkable, and I recommend he be nominated for best supporting actor.

One of the reasons Yoda's performance comes off as so strong and human is because the humans in Episode II often seem artificial. The worst offender is Hayden Christensen, playing the teen-aged Anakin Skywalker.

I know Christensen had his fans from Life as a House, but in Clones he is more wooden than a tree. He has no screen presence and his delivery of the dialogue -- granted, it's made up of forgettable, banal lines -- is deadly. Looking scared to death, Christensen makes his way through Clones as if he's on a building ledge and trying to get back inside.

Natalie Portman doesn't do much better. Acceptable in Phantom Menace as Padmé Amidala, Portman kind of sleepwalks through Clones. Like Christensen, she seems to be on some kind of automatic pilot. The part is invested with no wit and little emotion.

Is this a couple capable of such great love that a classic story will spring from their loins? Unlikely. We know as little about these people as we knew in Phantom Menace; even Anakin's visit to see his mother is a waste, and Portman's disinterest in the whole business doesn't help.

There are some actors up to the job of making Clones worthwhile, though. Samuel L. Jackson gives it his best shot as Mace Windu and Christopher Lee is the perfect balance of evil and snarky as Count Dooku. Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker make our old friends C-3PO and R2-D2 as ingratiating as ever, but again the character development is dependent entirely on knowing the rest of Star Wars.

Nothing new is offered or introduced, no new plot twists or revelations. Clones just pushes along to make way for Episode III, which will eventually lead back to Episode IV and the story we already know.

What's completely missing between this droid and this robot, as well as among the humans, is any jauntiness or sense of fun, camaraderie or purpose. The first installment -- now known as Episode IV -- lived because it echoed the loose, almost improvisational feel of the Saturday morning sci-fi reels of the '40s and '50s.

Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia were descendants of Flash Gordon and friends -- you could feel it. Humanity oozed from them, even in the most preposterous situations.

Flash, Dale Arden and Prince Barin were the models for the original Star Wars characters. Dr. Zarkov, Flash's advisor, and Ming, Flash's nemesis, rounded out the cast and became indelible figures. (Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe is available, by the way, on DVD from Image Entertainment. I highly recommend checking it out.)

George Lucas was smart to pattern his main characters after these people. But this second generation of Star Wars characters all sound like Keanu Reeves delivering a soliloquy from Hamlet. Alas, poor Star Wars, I knew it well.