Top Ten New Copyright Crimes

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Posted by timothy on Tuesday May 7, 2002 @06:38AM from the sarcastic-followups-are-the-best-kind dept.

anon writes: "Jamie Kellner, chairman and CEO of Turner Broadcasting (an AOL Time Warner company), was recently interviewed on the future of television. In the interview, Mr. Kellner said some very interesting things, including characterizing those who skip television commercials as thieves.' To help develop Mr. Kellner's unfortunately common (at least in Hollywood) view of copyright, LawMeme offers the top ten new copyright crimes, as well as further choice quotes and commentary from Mr. Kellner's interview."

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Additional Future Crimes by SoVeryWrong · 2002-05-07 06:43 · Score: 2, Funny

#11 - Averting your eyes from roadside billboards long enough to watch where you're going.
#12 - Being Blind or Deaf...
wait a sec... by Anonymous Coward · 2002-05-07 06:44 · Score: 2, Informative

Rerun...
1. Re:wait a sec... by Anonymous Coward · 2002-05-07 06:47 · Score: 0
  
  Holly repost, Batman!
2. Re:wait a sec... by huberj · 2002-05-07 06:50 · Score: 1
  
  Not only that, it has the exact same title! Hmm, perhaps they could search for previous postings before posting a new story?
  
  Is that too much to ask?
3. Re:wait a sec... by Louis_Wu · 2002-05-07 09:53 · Score: 1
  
  In the same section, less than a week later, with exactly the same link, while the old story is still visible in the Slashbox.
Hemos by anthony_dipierro · 2002-05-07 06:45 · Score: 1

Hemos:
Here's the reality:
You block ads.
You cost us money.
Ultimately, I mean.
1. Re:Hemos by Eimi+Metamorphoumai · 2002-05-07 07:04 · Score: 2
  
  What he said is true, though. Each page you hit costs them a small amount in bandwidth and CPU time. Note that he didn't say "If you block ads, you're a thief" or "If you block ads, you're stealing our content" or "It's part of the contract between us and you that you read and click on our ads." What he said was completely correct, and in the midst of a plea to support them by other means than advertising.
  
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  Visit me on #weirdness on the Galaxynet.
2. Re:Hemos by anthony_dipierro · 2002-05-07 07:20 · Score: 0, Offtopic
  
  CmdrTaco went on to call alterslash "stealing". Yes, Jamie Kellner took it one step further than Hemos and CmdrTaco, but Jamie Kellner was also interviewed by a third party, not thrown softballs selected by his own staff.
Repeat story by LordNimon · 2002-05-07 06:50 · Score: 2, Informative

http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/05/03/11 42220.

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1. Re:Repeat story by Anonymous Coward · 2002-05-07 08:16 · Score: 0
  
  This could easily be solved by informing moderators of duplicates in the "Related Links" section.
Bathrooms Should Rank Higher! by 4of12 · 2002-05-07 06:52 · Score: 2

Just as I said earlier.

My mistake, though, I guess he figures it's OK if you can go to the bathroom in 30 seconds.

Why is he this tolerant? Maybe going to the bathroom counts as a sufficiently similar experience to enduring commercials.

--
"Provided by the management for your protection."
1. Re:Bathrooms Should Rank Higher! by tps12 · 2002-05-07 07:09 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Commercials are not nearly as relaxing, IMO.
  
  --
  
  Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
Duplicate by photon317 · 2002-05-07 07:01 · Score: 2

This article is a dupe from late last week....

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11*43+456^2
This rerun brought to you... by knabar · 2002-05-07 07:03 · Score: 3, Funny

...because we were told some of you did not look at the ads shown with the story the first time.
1. Re:This rerun brought to you... by Anonymous Coward · 2002-05-07 09:31 · Score: 0
  
  I meant to mod you as funny, but accidentally hit "overrated." Since I couldn't mod your post again, I modded up another post to ameliorate the impact on your Karma. Sorry.
2. Re:This rerun brought to you... by Anonymous Coward · 2002-05-07 09:34 · Score: 0
  
  Shit: should have said another of your posts . . .
3. Re:This rerun brought to you... by knabar · 2002-05-08 00:16 · Score: 1
  
  Thanks...
  After posting, I saw there were about 2 gazillion other jokes about this, but I could not imagine mine being overrated at 1 :-)
This makes 20! by Evro · 2002-05-07 07:08 · Score: 1

Unless these are the same ten?

--
rooooar
Hitting your mute button and closing your eyes... by stefanlasiewski · 2002-05-07 07:10 · Score: 1

Hitting your mute button and closing your eyes is not a crime!

--
"Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
We need T-Shirts. by SocialWorm · 2002-05-07 07:10 · Score: 3, Interesting

More public exposure for Mr. Kellner's ideas would be most helpful. As the previous story mentioned, he is our "friend" due to his downright draconian opinions. Any guesses on how long it will take Copyleft or Thinkgeek to do something like this? I know 2600 used to have an anti-Jack-Valenti shirt.

Also: There is an anti-Kellner Open Directory Section. It seems rather sparse though. http://www.dmoz.org/Arts/Television/Networks/WB/An ti-Kellner
The sites mention the cancelation of the Animaniacs, but nothing too serious.

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Deja vu... by misfit13b · 2002-05-07 07:10 · Score: 1

...all over again.
tis a duplicate by jeffy124 · 2002-05-07 07:21 · Score: 0, Redundant

old news

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The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
1. Re:tis a duplicate by jeffy124 · 2002-05-07 07:43 · Score: 1
  
  that's really interesting, now that i've taken a closer look. Exact same Headline, and exact same link! IIRC, slashdot uses a link filter to prevent duplicate articles. what happened to that filter on this story?
  
  --
  The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
Woah by Anonymous Coward · 2002-05-07 07:33 · Score: 0

Deja-vu!
PBS by tps12 · 2002-05-07 08:00 · Score: 2

The one that says PBS is unfair because of competition is a non-sequitor. It has nothing to do with ad views. It looks to me as if the folks who wrote the story are trying to slip some pro-PBS ideology into a story that would otherwise appeal to Libertarians. Comments?

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Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
1. Re:PBS by uspsguy · 2002-05-07 20:50 · Score: 1
  
  Sounds like your comment has a strong ANTI-PBS bias. Discounting beg-a-thons, PBS does not run commercials. If skipping commercials on regular TV is against the law, (as suggested) then being able to switch to PBS where there are no commercials is clearly an unfair advantage. Of course, under that premiss, you have to stay tuned and watch all the PBS fundraisers also. I guess you choose how you want your ads: 10 min. out of every 30 or 24 hours in a row every month. I must be just about a tratior, I hahdly watch any TV anymore - what with all the commercials and lousy content. DirecTV - 150 channels of nothing worth watching.
  
  --
  Profanity - The sign of a small mind trying to express itself.
2. Re:PBS by LinearBob · 2002-05-08 18:03 · Score: 1
  
  Maybe I have been watching a counterfeit version of PBS, but here in Silly-Con Valley we have our choice of 3 PBS stations. All 3 run several nationally distributed programs, and every one of those programs comes complete with several corporate "underwriting" announcements at both the beginning and the end of each program, and those anouncements look and sound a whole lot like commercials.
  
  So what is this non-sense about PBS being unfair because it's gov'mint financed and does not have ads? Someoone should tell the folks who keep beating their "Pledge Now!" drums that they are well financed by their gov'mint. Or are the folks beating those "Pledge Now!" drums all lying to me about how much it costs them to acquire those ad-laden national programs?
  
  IMHO, the real problem here is that this "friend" of ours apparently thinks our only reason for living is so we can watch ads for and to buy junk we don't really need. I hate to be the bearer of bad news for him, but there is more to life than watching ads and buying "stuff!"
  
  I, for one, happen to enjoy walking on the ocean beach. (One place where I see or hear few ads of any sort.) Does this man actually believe that walking on a beach as I do should be a crime? Does he think I would be better off "enjoying" a nice collection of ads instead of watching a beautiful susnset out over the Pacific ocean?
  
  Gimme a Break! This clown is certifiable!
  
  --
  An analog gray hair frantically clinging to the trailing edge of technology. :-)
Glitch in the Matrix? by chaobell · 2002-05-07 08:30 · Score: 0, Redundant

"Whoa. Deja vu."

"...what?"

"...no, nothing...well, a few days ago I saw an article on Slashdot...and just now, I saw another one just like it."

"How much like it? Was it the same article?"

"Well, it might have been..."

Check your windows, folks!

--
This is a Chao. A Chao says "Mu."
Michael should sue by Anonymous Coward · 2002-05-07 12:12 · Score: 0

Timothy committed copyright theft.

http://slashdot.org/yro/02/05/03/1142220.shtml?t id =133