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Love Says Caldera's Doing Fine, Despite Losses
sanpitch writes: "Caldera is barely scraping along, (in contrast to little brother Lineo, which may not survive). Their latest move is to close the Chelmsford and Erlangen offices, as well as lay off 73." At least not Noel Coward writes: "The bad financial report out of Caldera yesterday is actually good news, says Ransom Love in an interview on Linux and Main. Now, he says, they're ready to go forward with their grand strategy, which unfortunately has nothing at all to do with desktop Linux as we know it."
read it and weep, bitch
try biting your ear while claping your hands... good, now you look like a moron
It is a little known fact that Caldera Linux includes source code that was stolen from Microsoft Windows to speed up the graphics routines. That's why Caldera Linux has a file called /usr/lib/direct3d8.so.
It is stolen code that maps OpenInventor code to DirectX using the special undocumented API that only Caldera can use because they are a monopoly on the Linux desktop.
Mandi's voluptuous curves emphasised the singlemindedness of a Reaganite generation. Her wholesome rump, which would do a farmer proud in even the most competitive Texan meat markets, once again interrupted my field of vision to the birds perching nonchalantly on the roof of the opposite building. Two years, three months, four days and one hour into my job at dotcomrevolution.com, and the word on the seventh floor was that the VC's were about to cut off our air supply. These gulls were my only break from the monotony of BSD server administration, and Mandi had to be punished for her countless intrusive hours at the photocopier.
"Your ass is blocking my view," I mumbled.
"What did you say?" she roared. Well, it was more an angry squeak than a raw. I just had to block out the irritating, high-pitched whine that characterised all Mandi's replies, and my instincts caused my right hand to jump onto the air conditioning knob for the server room, turning it up to full blast.
"You -- that again -- I'll -- the manager!" she continued, her voice drowned out by the healthy whir of the most expensive fans in Christendom. I looked at her and grinned. "I can't think -- that -- noise! Turn -- off now!" She was trying to keep her cool (an act made all the easier by the now exceptional air conditioning), but even a blind man could have felt the heat from her cheeks as they began to turn a rosy red with rage.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Mandy," I responded. I guess she looked like more of a Dave than a Mandy, her smooth but noticeably dark follicles of facial hair contrasting with her pasty skin under the lifeless fluorescence of office lighting, but she would not have understood the reference anyway.
With that, I turned back to my console and resumed my xtank session. But what was this? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw water begin to drip out of the corner of Mandy's eye, while she was sitting in my assistant's chair. (Well, I called it the assistant's chair, I had not actually had an assistant since late 1999, when I selected him to be the scapegoat for my rather poor backup schedule.)
"Why must you always make fun of me? I'm just trying to do my job," she blubbed. Sitting close to me now, not even $10,000 of Taiwanese ventilation could block out her piercing tone. "Ever since I got this job the guys here have made fun of me for my shape, why can't they just respect me for who I am."
A change of heart that would have made Montgomery Burns proud caused me to stand up and walk over to the wreck. I wanted to explain this rationally to her, in terms of the mating habits of the human male, and the desire for a woman fit for childbearing and housework, but there was no time for that (it was ten minutes to five). "I'm sorry," I uttered, and rested my hand on Mandy's shoulder, fearing a lawsuit.
Mandy stood up, and without hesitation put her arms round me, whispering, "Thank you." I reciprocated, grateful for a secure office lacking in inside windows. Instead of letting go, she squeezed me harder, and her tears began to stain the shoulder of my designer shirt. I motioned to back away, and in doing so my hand slipped downwards, brushing against her behind.
"I'm not so repulsive, am I?" she questioned.
I was racking my brain for a diplomatic response. "I guess there are advantages to looking at you over the gulls and the hypnotising router LEDs," I confessed. "And unlike with the routers, I'm not called out when you break down. And you don't leave a mess on the roof..."
"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever told me," she interrupted. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
(I'm a geek. Do you have a girlfriend? Exactly.)
"I'm, um, er.. I'm playing the field," was my closest attempt at honesty without offending my manhood. "I dont like to deprive others of my attention by focussing too much on one person."
"That's a shame," she said, and then her tone of voice changed completely. "Because I was so hoping to score before next week's lay-off."
"NEXT WEEK?" There was no chance that I would be able to return my home-brewed Beowulf cluster of 'borrowed' workstations so soon, and I had expected at least two week's warning from management. "Oh, and I know about your Beowulf cluster," she whispered, "but I'm sure I can use my special relationship with your boss to make it easier for you to return the equipment. The question is, what can you do for me?"
to be continued...
Screw Caldera. They've never been anything but an aberration riding on the coattails of the open source movement. Their philosphy has always seemed to have been "Gee, free marketing. Too bad we can't make this stuff proprietary so it's Ours". I've never had anything but loathing for that besotted company.
As little interest as I have in Mandrake, I suppose it has a place, among the "liek i wanna run linux but make it just like windoze plzthx k" types who want to be able to tell their coworkers that "Yeah, I've used that Linux thing. It sure is neat." as well as a strong following among the "so it's gcc install smurf.c rite" script kiddie sorts. Redhat is ok. I dislike RPM systems as a matter of course, and find Debian to be the most usable linux distro, but whatever.
My point is, not that I particularly had one, Slashdot is falling victim to their "anything related to linux is good!@#!!!!!" bias, ignoring the fact that Caldera is just yet another moronic dotcom wanna be company riding on the Open Source hype. Name a single worthwhile thing they brought to the table(m$ folk read; innovations) and I'll change my tune. Seeing as you can't, stop posting this absurd fodder about a failed company as interesting news. "Stuff that matters", cmon, ring a bell?
Yeah. Feel free to flame away at this, kiddies and crapflooders. Just don't count on me answering.
Funny, I can only think of one: Open Office (/Star Office)
You are so clueless. If M$Office was so important, you would be able to buy an OS that was JUST M$Office. You're so Microsoft-centric you can't tell the difference between Bill Gates and your own reflection in the mirror.