Star Wars Episode II: The Book Review

Dark Paladin writes: "Why wait a week when you can go read the novelization of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, and know what happens before you view it on the big screen? Then again, if the book is any indication, you might as well wait for the Big Screen version instead." Read on for the rest of his review to see why. Star Wars: Episode II, Attack of the Clones author R. A. Salvatore pages 336 publisher Ballantine Publishing Group rating 6 reviewer Dark Paladin ISBN 0345428811 summary It's written from the screen-play -- how much more do you need to know?

Hello, Mr. Salvatore! For the folks who want to get the details on the story without downloading the bootleg version, there's always the novelization based on the screen play, adapted by R. A. Salvatore (the same man behind the many D&D books in the fantasy section of the bookstore).

The last time this happened, Terry Brooks was the captain, guiding us through his interpretation of Episode I: The Phantom Menace. It was a good book, filling in the gaps that the movie missed, while telling the story in style. To be honest, I wish we had Mr. Brooks back. It's not that I don't like Mr. Salvatore, but -- well, maybe I don't after reading this book.

It's clear that Salvatore had access to the screen play for the movie, with every move, look, and nuance that was put inside. He also has access to the choreographed scenes, which becomes clear since he feels the need to tell us every single detail of the fights. Thanks to him, I now know that in a fight scene between Obi-Wan and Jango Fett, Obi-Wan "...ducked the blow and did a tight, stationary somersault right under the swinging arm, double-kicking as he came over...", and every other minor detail, blow, kick and jump. A fight scene that probably takes 2 minutes in the movie now takes up 15 pages of text.

It's overkill, and Salvatore does this over and over again. I would say he's wordy, but the definition is too short by at least 30 characters. In another scene, where Anakin goes all Dark Side on us, Salvatore writes it like this (well, not exactly - but it feels that way):

And as the rage raged through Anakin's rage, he raged through his raging rage to rage the rage rage.

I'm not clear here - is Anakin angry? It's a formula that is used over and over again with as much verbage as Salvatore can invent - how much Shmi Skywalker misses her son, or how Padme has chosen professional life over personal life.

You almost want to scream out "We get the point - move on to the story!"

Jedi and Bounty Hunters and Clones, Oh My!

The story itself is predictable sci-fi fiction. We can spot a plot device half a mile away, and in many ways, it emulates Episode I in its setup.

The story involves the attempted assassination of Padme Amidala, who is no longer Queen of Naboo (seems they can only serve 2 terms), but is now Senator of Naboo, fighting to prevent the creation of an army for the Republic to defend it from the Separatists. So the Jedi Council, at the advice of Emperor^H^H^H^H^H^H^H Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, enlists the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan Apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, to protect the young Senator.

While Obi-Wan takes off to chase after the assassins, Anakin is holed up with Padme all alone on her home planet on Naboo. Of course, nobody else seems to notice that Anakin has been Jonesing for Padme since he was 10. Even though Obi-Wan seems to think that Anakin might get himself into trouble, but is overruled by the Jedi Council, who don't seem to realize that a barely 20-year-old man with raging hormones around Natalie Portman might feel a little tempted.

This soon leads to romantic moments between the younglings, boiled down to this:

Anakin: Padme, I love you, and I'm not even vaguely trying to uphold my vows as a would-be Jedi to never marry. Kind of like a Catholic Priest, without the altar boy scandal. Padme: Anakin, we can't be together. You're a Jedi, and are forbidden to marry. (Even though I think those brown robes are so hot on you.) Anakin: What was that? Padme: Oh, nothing. Let's to romp in the meadow and hold hands even though I say we're not going to fall in love. Anakin: Sure. Can I look longingly at you at times? Padme: If you must. (While I undress you with my eyes.) Anakin: What? Padme: Nothing!

Gaps in the Universe

So while Padme and Anakin are making goo-goo eyes at each other, Obi-Wan is discovering the creation of a clone army, an army based on the genes of Jango Fett, the best bounty hunter of the galaxy, who's cloned son, Boba Fett, is being trained by his "father" to be even better.

But then the questions come up. Who would want the creation of a clone army to fight the Separatists, when the Senate is still arguing about creating an army in the first place? What is Count Dooku, the former Jedi who is labeled as "the best kick ass lightsaber duelist in the history of the galaxy", doing at the head of the Separatists - and what is his plan? And how long until Anakin and Padme finally give in to their lusts and make the beast of two backs?

The story, in and of itself, isn't that interesting. But the story does a good job at tying up the lines between Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope and the prequels. For the first time, we meet Owen and Beru, and understand how they fit into the Skywalker family. We see how the future Emperor manipulates the public to put himself as the head of the Republic. That alone is enjoyable as you go "Ah...now that makes sense."

But for the cost of the $26.00 book, you might as well just wait a week and pay $11.00 at the movie theaters for the same information - in much less time.

You can purchase Attack of the Clones from bn.com. Want to see your own review here? Just read the book review guidelines, then use Slashdot's handy submission form.

Comments

heh

[klocwerk]

It's kind of interesting to think about how deeply star wars has slumped in the minds of geeks.

We were all built up and excited about episode 1.
Then we saw that it sucked.
Then the rumors about Leo DiCrapio playing anakin in 2.
Then we saw that it would suck.
Luckily that didn't happen.
but here's episode 2, and we all hear that it sucks.

What I want to know is whether or not Geroge Lucas really thinks that these are quality movies he's making, or if he realizes that they are in fact made to sell the toys.

Just my opinion.

Zahn

[theNote]

None of the Star Wars books come within a hundred parsecs of the Timothy Zahn post trilogy.

He manages to pull off what Lucas can't:
Tell a story in the Star Wars universe that keeps the pace of the movies, but at the same time leaves out the "Yippees!" and fart jokes.

Having read the screenplay and book, you can hardly blame Salvatore for the result.
He wasn't give alot of material to work with.

Re:Zahn

[raistlinne]

Actually, the second two were, in my opinion, better books than the first. I found the first one to be a bit slow, but then again you have to set up before you can move on.

That being said, star wars is an epic, and that's what the best SW stories are going to be. In a (non-tragic) epic, the important people generally don't die, even when they do dangerous things (in a tragic epic, everyone dies even when they don't do dangerous things - but I'm not really fond of those). Why is it really that important to you that people have to die if they do dangerous things? Why must dangerous things result in death or it makes a book bad?

And the truth is that people get lucky in life. When you write a story, you write about those exceptional people who get lucky more than most. If a story was about truly average people, they'd be boring. If we want to read about truly average people, we can just just skip the reading and look around.

Besides, if you dislike reaslism, why do you pick up on people getting lucky (and if anyone is going to get lucky, I would imagine that a jedi master would be the sort of person who is lucky more than most), why don't you pick on people being noble so often? Most real people want to live their lives quietly in peace and comfort and really just sort of try to adapt to any hardship that comes there way. Most people would not fight an evil empire, they'd just live in it as best they can.

So why is it such a big deal that extraordinary people have extraordinary things happen to them? Let's not forget that plenty of them are, in effect, magicians. One doesn't expect the ordinary with magicians, or at least you shouldn't.

Also, you left out the part where luke goes into a jedi trance where he needs only infinitessimal amounts of oxygen and heat to survive, thus enabling him to live long enough to be stumbled upon. Convenient? Yes. Unlikely? Yes. Impossible, well, not after you've already granted the existence of the jedi.

Besides, has it not occurred to you that the book had been following Karde's ship pricesly because at some point he would be the one who ran accross luke? (Remember, luke was not in a highly unpopulated area and so it was likely that someone would eventually run accross him.) This is a not uncommon narrative device, where you start telling a bunch of independent stories and eventually tie them together. It's not that the main characters were randomly chosen and then through a series of insanely unlikely events all happen to come together. It's that an event was picked, or perhaps a few characters were picked, and whoever happened to come along was then selected and their story fleshed out.

All this being said, in my opinion the first book is best when it is dealing with Grand Admiral Thrawn, and everyone else is less interesting. In the second and third books, however, I think that his handling of the other characters is better (or one just gets used to his take on their personalities), and they're thoroughly enjoyable reading. While I could put the first book down, the second and third I couldn't stop reading.

I was a bit dissapointed with the way that Thrawn was killed. It made perfect sense, but it was a bit ... I don't know. I'd have rather than killing thrawn had been harder, even if the way he was killed made perfect sense and fit well with the rest of the plot.

Re:Wordy...

[Reziac]

Or, boiled down to its essence:

SHOW, don't TELL.

Is it any suprise?

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

For instance, we have a really bad screenplay, that is acted really poorly for a really bad movie (so they say).

Then, we find a really bad writer (Salvatore).

The book will be really _________. (Fill in the blank).

I've always liked fantasy as much as scifi, and when I have nothing else to read, I'll even tolerate the mediocre stuff. The Tracy Hickman, Marg Weiss D&D books, for instance.

So, I've ran out of all those books, and used book are only 50 cents, right? So I pick up a bunch of Salvatore's books. Bad mistake. His books aren't worth the toilet paper that they could have turned that pulp into.

I think, and don't take this as gospel, Salvatore wrote down the synopsis of all his D&D games that he (aged 9 or so) played with his cocker spaniel puppy because no one else would play with him. Then, stretching all those notes into 400 page long manuscripts, he somehow blackmailed a publisher into turning them into real books. I mean, goddamn, I didn't expect it to be the the Dragonbon Chair or anything like that, but this was absolutely unreadable. It was, and still is, the only good excuse for illiteracy. *BARF* Should have let those memories remain repressed.

How, on fucking earth, did they manage to let him novelize this? They had their pick, even some first rate authors might have wanted to do this. If nothing else, Alan Dean Foster always did a tolerable job of novelizations (though the best, probably was Orson Scott Card's "The Abyss"). The only thing I can figure, he (Salvatore) has photographic evidence of Lucas getting blowjobs from 9 yr old Thai children in return for handing over USA Top Secret military documents to a chinese agent (both on the same pic).

Yes, he is that bad.

Re:Is it any suprise?

[wilpig]

Opinion != Fact

Re:Is it any suprise?

[Llywelyn]

"For instance, we have a really bad screenplay, that is acted really poorly for a really bad movie (so they say)."

Maybe I'm just not with it, but am I the only one who is reserving judgment on the movie until after I see it?

Yippee!

[BlueFall]

I haven't been this excited about a novelization since I read the Stargate book for a class. Seriously though in that class, even the jocks were complaining about the literary validity of the book. When will the madness stop?

Big Mistake

[Myuu]

I read the Episode 1 book the second it came out, I now regret it. I am absolutely sure that if i hadnt have read the book, i would have liked the on screen movie a lot more.

the problem is, is that there was a lot missing in the movie that was in the book.

-another pod race
-more character developement
-better fight scenes

plus, without the movie, there is no difference between the other books (shadows of the empire for example) and this one.

i noticed that this one came out a week or two later than the other one did, tatical move perhaps?

Dark Elf books

[Stu Charlton]

Salvatore wrote the Dark Elf series of books in D&D's Forgotten Realms setting. I believe there are over three trilogies by now. When I was 13 years old, I found them actually quite good... that's probably because it was his target audience.

But then I recently picked up one of the latest Dark Elf books... ech. I couldn't get into it. The writing was just too bad. I guess this is what age does to you. The Star Wars books really aren't targetted at intelligent late-20 or 30-somethings. They're for teens who like D&D and Dragonlance (and adults who never grew out of it).

One thing I will give kudos to Salvatore for: he has a talent for describing fight scenes. I think the reviewer found this annoying, but that aspect of his books has traditionally been their saving grace: if you want to read a book of detailed fight scenes with a bit of plot in-between, pick up a Salvatore book. Remember my "13 year old" audience theory -- flowery writing and complex plots aren't necessarily cool to most. Lots of fights are. Not too many of my friends liked Tolkien in high school, but there sure were a lot of Dragonlance fans.

No doubt for a series like Star Wars, this probably looked like a good choice on paper.

Re:Way Back

[EvilAlien]

Further to this, his fame was forged with The Crystal Shard and further books, largely due to the skill with which he developed the Drizzt character. The extremely detailed descriptions of combat were strengths of that work, and very enjoyable for those who like that sort of thing. I'm one of those people, so I don't think that is a negative.

Re:Novels--SPOILERS!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Strict continuity?

Vader doesn't recognize R2 and 3PO even though the former is his beloved's favorite droid and he BUILT the latter--even able to recognize him with the shielding in place although it was his mother that put it there!?! Memory loss?

Obviously, these two droids are destined to stay with Amidala and Vader doesn't recognize the significance that they ALSO follow Leia around!?! Memory loss?

Uncle Owen grew up with 3PO and doesn't recognize him after Luke repairs him!?! Memory loss?

3PO doesn't seem to recognize Tattoine or Uncle Owen!?! Memory loss?

Obi-wan doesn't recognize either droids even though he spent a lot of time with them!?! Memory loss?

AOTC is a continuity NIGHTMARE! I could see Lucasfilms having a difficult time resolving conflicts with third-party stories that weren't crafted by Lucas himself but I/II/IV/V/VI are!

My predictions:

[simm_s]

In the beginning (episodes 4-6), Star Wars was just a simple story about a boy, a princess, a privateer, a wookie, a sith lord, etc. Now it has evolved into a complicated mess which everyone is over analyzing to death.

Here are my predictions for episode 2:
disclaimer: I list myself as a moderate fan who has seen episode 4,5,6 a gizzilan times on TV 4,5,6 special edition once, christmas special once, and episode 1 twice.

There will be tons of boring dialog consiting of wooden actors and tons of soul-less computer generated aliens used to replicate the puppet mastery of 70s.

The love between the princess and anakin will be completely fabricated and unrealistic. Probably using the tired forbidden love motif we have all seen before.

Scenes with Jarjar will be minimized (obvious point) given the negative feedback from episode I.

There will be another unbelievable car chase scene to prove that anakin is a greatest starfighter pilot ever. ho-hum.

There will be another intense lightsaber duel with a gimmic like the dual bladed light saber seen in episode one.

We will learn more about yoda demistifing the character making him/her/it less interesting IMHO.

Will do well at the box office. Which is George Lucas' primary goal anyway.

Will leave most hardcore fans secretly disappointed but unphased since they will see episode 3.

Most moderate fans will force themselves to enjoy the film just becasue it is Star Wars.

Playa haters will hate it no matter how good or bad it is just because it is popular.