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Quickies from a Galaxy Far Far Away
In celebration of the release of AotC, here are a bunch of random SW stories
that have fluttered through our bin:
Tim Drage has made a
Lego Star Wars movie,
POds sent us a fan film
Fan Film
(quicktime. Bah).
Here is a comic to
share and enjoy.
iamchaos noted that the next Matrix Trailer
will be showing with Clones.
nellardo sent in a fine tribute to darth maul.
Anyone want a Star Wars Axe?
Zack sent us a great collection of
SW Characters you won't see as much
as you might want to.
wiredog sent us some spoilers, the Skywalker family tree
and how Anakin becomes Vader.
peter_gzowski sent in an
essay by Ebert
where he gives it 2 of 4 stars, and discusses the digital filming.
Finally ant sent us a bizarre tale
of some guys who got the brilliant idea to build a
life-size Millenium Falcon.
So there it is folks. I have tickets for a 12:01 showing in Ann Arbor and I'll
be getting in line in just a few short hours.
I didn't know Ebert gave that rating. I thought it was only 3.5/4 for bad movies, and 4/4 for mediocre to good movies?
...with the other sheep.
What, will it become a worse film if you wait a week? Everybody that goes to see this film on the opening day is sending this message, clear and load: "We don't give a damn how good this is, because we decided that we had to see it years ago. You've had our money in the bank since 1977. You could show 2 hours of Jar Jar breakdancing, and we'd queue up to see it and then temporise about ways in which it could have sucked more. Don't bother yourself actually making more than a trailer's worth of decent footage, and the rest of you Hollywood studios, take note. We're sheep. Baa. Baaaaaaaa."
But don't mind me. You go and see it, and demonstrate that it doesn't matter if you're flogging a dead horse, so long as it's a horse that people loved a lot when it was alive. Demonstrate that Hollywood (like the RIAA) is right to expect and demand a guaranteed revenue stream, regardless of whether they're making anything worth while. Demonstrate that if you lower our expectations enough, cognitive dissonance will kick in and a feeling that "Hey, that movie didn't suck as much as I feared!" will somehow morph into "Hey, that movie was OK! I guess I'll decide here and now to see the next one, no matter how drab awful it appears."
Bah, enough. You're a sheep, Taco. Enjoy being fleeced.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
List of Cringes :
Boba Fett : lets just say that kid made Jar Jar look good.
The Fireplace Scene : Urgh. I mean, just. Urgh. When the fireplace appeared the audience started laughing.
The Assembly line sequence : Caused massive Galaxy Quest Flashbacks. "This makes no sense!"
R2-D2 : He can fly ? Since when ?
Actors (Australia Only) : Jack Thompson shouldn't be in a Star Wars film. Nor should anyone from Playschool
C3-PO in final battle : C3PO should not be doing that and making jokes. Did *ANYONE* see anything wrong with this ?
Never, Ever get Christopher Lee to say "The Dark Lord". That film is at the end of the year, not this one. You might as well have Yoda shoot webbing out of his arms.. Oh.. yeah...
Trailers : In Australia we didn't get the Matrix 2 Trailer. We got : Stuart Little 2, Snow Dogs and The Crocodile Hunter Movie. I'm not f'n kiding. The goddam Crocodile Hunter. Can't we shoot him or something ? He's sending the wrong impression of our country, when he's actually a guy who got fired off a third-rate childrens wildlife show back in '91
Oh, and they screwed up Parsec again. Well done. If two star systems one parsec apart, they are closer then Alpha Centauri is to Earth. You have to do an awful lot of fanwanking to explain why Tatooine is in range while the Arena planet isn't.
The movie sucks...
Don't stop reading yet... You'll have time to mod me down after you've read.
The reason it sucks is because it's nothing more than a very cheesy story with some good special effects.
It's the same sort of Jedi worshiping film as Phantom Menace was.
The three real star wars movies were very well written complex scripts. These prequals have the predictability of any disney film.
The story in it's entirety:
Anakin Guards the girl. That leads to discovering a covert cloning project. Anakin sees his mother died, blames himself, and does a little evil because of it. Big jedi fight. Cloning story line reveals corrupt ex-jedi in leage with Sith. Yoda makes fearful prediction. Anakin get's the girl.
I really didn't leave anything out. That's the whole damn story. Just like EP1, it's visually impressive, but there's no story to it. I think Lucas actually HURT the popularity of the original 3 with these terrible terrible prequils. These movies suck. Not the worst movies I've ever seen, but in the top 25.
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