The Case for the Empire

fReNeTiK writes "In this amusingly controversial article over at the weekly standard's web site, we get to hear an opinion not often heard among the hordes of Star Wars fanatics out there: The rebel alliance are actually "... an unimpressive crew of anarchic royals who wreck the galaxy so that Princess Leia can have her tiara back." An entertaining read which will surely spark flame wars of epic proportions." Reader kaypro submits an MSNBC story examining the science of Star Wars. And Ant notes that the Clones DVD will be out earlier than expected.

Comments

Re:Questions

[CatPieMan]

I actually was just mentioning this article to a friend of mine. He too thought it was interesting, but, put forth the idea that the rebels were probably trying to have the old republic rebuilt.

Just look at the US Revolution, the people didn't really know how they were going to change the government, they just knew that they wanted (or needed) it to change. The new government was created years after the old one was overthrown, and even then people were challenging it even up to and including the Civil War (ok, yes, I know, many causes of the Civil War).

Did the old British Empire work, for the most part it did. It didn't interfere with the small farmer (like this empire), so the farmers didn't all pick a side until one came and found them. Most of the US revolution came from and began in the larger seaport cities (Philadelphia and Boston were the big ones that I can think of right away). This parallels the Empire in that the small planets, like tatoine that didn't have many cities, really wouldn't see much interferrence from the empire (unless they did something to warrent the empire getting into their buisness, as this guy is claiming).

It is very true that this Dark side is only evil when compared to the alternative (the Light side). The Dark side really doesn't do much that is 'bad'. Their main crime is trying to undermine the light side and gain power. This sounds like commercialism and capitalism (a new competitor trys to build strength while hiding from the old established corporation).

While I may not have all of my ideas straightened out, I just wanted to get some of my ideas out on the forum for dissection (and perhaps some karma in the process :) )

-CPM

Bringing Knives To Gunfights

[wiredog]

From Jerry.

Silly people the Jedi are, with the partial exception of Yoda who at least knows not to show up for a gunfight without some guns. The other Jedi always bring a knife to a gunfight.

People as stupid as these, in possession of the kinds of weapons they have, probably NEED an Emperor,...

maybe he wants to be Emperor because he realizes these people are idiots playing with machine guns and atom bombs, and need to be protected from themselves, and the Jedi sure aren't smart enough to do it.

In related news...

[Zocalo]

..this article at Empire Online indicates that the Original Trilogy DVDs are still some way off. Mainly so that Lucas can do more fiddling with the trilogy, including shooting brand new footage. It's all from Rick McCallum, so it's probably true.

I'm betting he's waiting until after episode 3, to add what would be serious prequel spoilers to the second half of the "hexology", or whatever the term is ("hextet"?), since I seriously doubt it's going to be a nonology anymore.

"War On Terror Not Over Yet", Emperor Declares

[Namarrgon]

CORUSCANT -- Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent victories over the Rebel Alliance were "encouraging, the War on Terror is not over yet."

"We will continue to fight these terrorists, and the rogue governments who harbor them, until the universe is safe, once and for all, and the security of the Neo-New Cosmik Order ensured."

It was one year ago today that the Death Star, perhaps the greatest symbol of the Empire's might, was destroyed in an attack by fanatic Rebels, who used small, single-person crafts to infiltrate seemingly impenetrable defenses. Thousands of mourners were on hand to remember and pay tribute to the victims and their families.

"We lost our innocence that day," reflected one mourner. "I guess we thought we were immune from the kind of violence that happens in other galaxies. We were wrong." "I lost hundreds of buddies that day," said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper. "Guys whose only crime was trying make the Universe a safer place."

Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief in the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels. In an attack led by Darth Vader, Empire forces were able to rout hundreds of Rebels from a network of caves underneath the surface of the planet Hoth. "We're not sure we got them all," says a Vader spokesman. "There are a lot of places to hide in those caves. But we've delivered a powerful blow to the terrorist's infrastructure, that's for sure. Today, the Empire has struck back."

Initial reports are unclear as to the fate of Luke Skywalker, a hero among the Rebels, who is rumored to have delivered the fatal blow to the Death Star. Skywalker, a former desert-dweller from the planet Tattooine, became a part of the Rebellion after family members were killed. Skywalker was trained by a militant wing of the Rebels, known as "Jedi Knights." Fanatical in their religious beliefs, the Jedi Knights claim to derive their power from the mystical "Force."

It's believed that Skywalker was specifically trained by infamous terrorist O bin Wankanobi. Wankanobi, occasionally called "Ben" and easily recognized by his bearded visage and long, flowing robes, achieved near-martyr status among the Rebels after his death last year during a spy mission. His more fervent followers believe that Wan Kenobi lives on within them today, some even claiming to hear his voice during times of duress.

The attack on the Death Star came shortly after the Empire's destruction of Alderstaan, a planet whose government was known to harbor terrorists. Responding to criticism over the total annihilation of the planet, Vader stated, "There is no middle ground in the War on Terror. Those who harbor terrorists are terrorists themselves. Alderaan was issued ample warning. The fight for continuing Freedom is often burdened by terrible cost."

The cost of this war can still be seen today in the continuing efforts to build a coalition government on Tattooine. Longstanding animosities among the planets various ethnic groups, including the Jawas, Tusken Raiders and scattered human settlers, have been an impediment to the peace process. The Empire continues to maintain a small peace keeping force until a provisional government is finally in place.

Much of the difficulty in fighting the Rebel forces stems from their lack of a central organizing structure. "They don't play by the traditional rules of war," complained one spokesman. "They come in all shapes and sizes, united only by their single-minded desire to destroy the Empire before it destroys them."

The Emperor closed his comments today by stating that "the cowardly attack on the Death Star left a deep scar on the Empire. However, we will not stop fighting until every last evildoer has been brought to justice." He paused for several moments, wiping away a tear and then added with determination, "We will never forget."

"I wish we could all just get along," said one of the mourners. "But it's hard to offer an olive branch to a cult of religious fanatics whose main tool is violence and who insist on calling us the Dark Side."

(I posted this once before, but it seemed appropriate to post it again :-)