Smart Money Picks 10 Rising Careers

jonathanjo writes "Smart Money announces the ten hot jobs they see rising in the next decade. Among them, many familiar to slashdotters (wireless engineer) and several of those are of dubious ethical value (data miner, IP lawyer). "Forensic Accountant" even made accounting sound cool! But why oh why did I give up on being an Adventure Travel Guide to be a web designer? D'ohh!"

Comments

They forgot...

[blowhole]

Judging from the Flash advert on the page, CHIROPRACTOR might be a promising career! Ouch!

Politician

[Far�]

Have a hot career! Be a politician! You can be in control of 60% of your country's gross income. You only have to be without scruple, a liar, or better, a man incapable of forming an opinion (thus you can't lie about it). You'll have to be a whore to public popularity - no demagogy is too small. You'll have to stand by the corporate interests of the political class: promote legislation as the magical solution to any and every problem in society. You'll have to be discreet about the way you privatize the money you extort from tax-payers.

Politician - here's the career of the past, present and future!

My pick would be

[tcd004]

My pick would have to be inmate.

tcd004

Forensic Accountant

[ImaLamer]

Is this the guys who show up to the Enron crime scene.

Next week on CSI:Accountantcy the team will look at A.Anderson and then the Bush budget

Re:IP Lawyer is bound to rise to the top...

[doooras]

you work for amazon.com?

Hehe

[jaavaaguru]

I see the theme to the next ten Budweiser commercials here ;-)

This song is dedicated to you, Mr Intellectual-Property Attorney

top 10 things that didn't make the list

[Cheeze]

10. Paper shredder
9. presidential intern
8. respiratory infection nurse
7. experimental microbiologist
6. teacher (never makes any list, except for lowest paid/hardest working)
5. suicide bomber
4. Real World participant
3. political leader
2. President of Accounting
and the number 1 thing that didn't make the list...

1. bank manager for offshore accounts (not FDIC insurred)

I Know of a Cache of Platinum

[Anonymous Coward]

I admit I do not read Scientific America, but I do watch MTV and I happen to know of a rich deposit of Platinum. Just check around Rapper's necks. They have tons of platinum.

Okay, this was a stupid post. Stupid post! Thus I post anonymously!

Re:Bioinformatics not all milk and honey

[evilquaker]

I'm probably biased, since I'm a biologist who learned computers (or really a geek who's been playing with computers since the Apple II and the C64 and just happened to get a degree in biochemistry along the way), but I would say that it's the IT guys who have the hardest time adopting the biological point of view, rather than the other way around. We seem to end up with a lot of software that solves a non-existent biological problem, but does a great job of demonstrating some great algorithm that gets the computer scientists all boned up. I live in hope...

I think you're biased, but probably right. :) In some sense, it's easier for the biologists because of tools like BLAST and Genscan. They can cobble together a solution based upon already reasonably good tools. And using test runs on small data sets, they can even come up with a good idea of whether their ideas are computationally feasible. (Even so, I've seen one of our biologists propose a computation that would take 6 months on 32 CPUs...)

Hot Jobs?

[The_dev0]

Any old job really, just tack EXTREME on the front of it...

Re:My advice.

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

It's kinda moot for me. I'm a high school flunky myself. I'm fairly certain the only demographic that has fewer job opportunities is "Vegetative Coma Patient".

Re:Oatmeal

[larry bagina]

Smart Money's 10 sinking careers:

1. Crack Whore
2. Day Trader
3. Monica Lewinski's dry cleaner
4. goatse's proctologist
5. Arthur Andersen accountant
6. Enron Executive
7. Palestinian Suicide Bomber
8. Taliban soldier
9. Al Gore
10. Slashdot spellchecker

Data Mining.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm sorry, but that just conjures images of spammers being killed by claymores.

Now *that's* a job I'd love to have, especially if they let you go in at close range to finish 'em off.

Meaningless Titles

[nathanh]

I really hate the over-inflated titles that computer mechanics keep giving themselves. I'm sick of seeing business cards for Software Engineers and Network Architects.

So what's next? Computer Surgeon? Information Astronaut? Why not go the whole nine yards and call yourself a Software Deity or Network Visionary?

I want to see some realism in titles. The person paid to maintain legacy COBOL should be called a Code Janitor. The person who designs networks should be called a Network Foreman. And anybody who writes code should be called a Software Author.

But please, enough with the self-aggrandizing titles.

Re:Meaningless Titles

[Kintanon]

Hmmm... So I should get rid of my 'Network God' business cards? Man! And I really liked the seraphim and trumpets I got with them...

Kintanon

Nice Fucking Timing.

[teamhasnoi]

Christ. Both my parents are Speech Pathologists, andd have been for the last 30 years. Where was the HOT JOBS List 20 years ago? Then I could have gotten to ride to school in a Porsche instead of a rusty Ford truck.

Everyone can take the hot jobs and shove them up their ass.

If you want some real jobs with growth potential for the future, here's a real list.

1.Terrorist
2.Undertaker
3.Disney Congresswhore
4.Presidential Oil Rig Tech
5.Media Manipulator
6.Political Aide Professional Killer
7.Infomercial Producer
8.College Athlete
9.Fuck You
10.Hot Jobs List Maker

Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Mod it up your ass, I'm pegged at 50.

Re:Asbestos time.

[saintlupus]

Shouldn't that be, "I gots an English degree"?

No, "gots" would be a dangling funkulator in that sentence. For that context, it would be "I done gots me an English degree."

Note the encasement of the "gots" by your standard funk brackets.

[/sarcasm]

--saint