Slashdot Mirror
What is the Right Patent Policy?
Jeremy asks: "I am drafting a policy for my employer's patents and software. My employer is unwilling to do away with software patents altogether, but I believe that there are benefits in restricting our patents' enforcement. Comments on our draft of a policy and opinions on what the business advantages of both sides are greatly appreciated."
The story thus far: OSM is deep in space, having just wrested away the Lovely Jessica from the insidious Son-of-RMS, her possessive, greasy Free Software boyfriend. Son-of-RMS is accompanied by his cronies Tivotql, a Mayan descendent who can communicate with the Central American gods, and Skullhead, a bitter, angry malnourished vegan.
Son-of-RMS: Skullhead! Dispatch a Free (as in speech, not beer) Flash Gordon war rocket at osm's ship!
Skullhead: But won't that kill Lovely Jessica , sir?
Son-of-RMS: No matter, I have ways of Opening the Sore and reviving her pale, sexy body.
Tivotql: Sir, the great thunderbird is sending me visions... Visions of the bearded one, your father. He says the path you choose is full of violence and pain, and you would go the way of ESR. A live of depravity and Jägermister, violence and Open Sores!
Back on osm's ship, with the Lovely Jessica and Trollaxor
Lovely Jessica : osm, my ex-boyfriend is so jealous! He won't stop at anything to destroy you and take me back with him to his sordid world of Free software and all-night Jizz Cola coding hacker parties! I fear for us and our blossoming love, open source man!
osm: [squeezes Lovely Jessica 's ripe buttocks] Don't trip, baby. He doesn't know shit about what the true Dark Side of the Force can do.
[random Dark Force energy bolts zap about osm's eyes]
Trollaxor: Sir, the Son of RMS has just readied a deadly Flash Gordon war rocket. Shields up. Shall I ready a retaliatory -1 moderator beam barrage?
osm: No! Just launch the garbage pods around our ship. The cigarette ashes will create a mighty nebula which confuse his Flash Gordon war rocket's guidance systems!
[Lovely Jessica sighs and swoons as she lays her head on osm's arm, squeezing his hand]
Lovely Jessica : Oh, osm!
The garbage pods launch, creating an impossibly thick cloud of Marlboro Light ash around osm's ship, hiding it from all known sensors.
Son-of-RMS: FIRE WAR ROCKET AJAX! AND BRING BACK HER BODY!
Skullhead: Sir, our sensors are reporting no ships in the region! The Flash Gordon war rocket is heading towards a nearby planet of Open Source hackers!
Son-of-RMS: Open a channel on all known frequencies and broadcast in all known languages! And Perl!
Skullhead: Sir.
Back on osm's ship, Trollaxor opens Son-of-RMS's broadcast on the main screen. Lovely Jessica grabs osm at the site of her ex-boyfriend.
Son-of-RMS: LISTEN UP, OSM. YOU CAN ONLY HIDE IN CLOUDS OF MARLBORO ASH AND CIGARETTE BUTTS FOR SO LONG! I HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO WAIT FOR YOU!!! MY LEGIONS OF FREE SOFTWARE HACKERS MAKE THEIR WAY HERE EVEN NOW. CONSIDER SURRENDERING AND SAVE YOURSELF A THOUSAND DECADES OF OPEN SORES!
osm: Keep thinking that.
Trollaxor: Sir, long-range sensors report an armada arriving from the Goatse hole! Range: 3000 g-clicks and closing! ETA: 2 hours! Orders?
Son-of-RMS laugh maniacally on the main screen of osm's ship and then bleeps out.
osm: Begin charging the scientifically-proven petrification rays. Arm the trollpedos and engage the-cloak!
Lovely Jessica : osm, will we ever make it out of here alive, so that I can love you like I want to? We've only just begun... I don't want our chance at happiness ended so soon!
Lovely Jessica buries her head in osm's chest, crying.
osm stares blindly ahead at the main screen where the visage of the grease-ball Son-of-RMS was just seconds before. Hums and vibrations fill the air as the scientifically-proven petrification rays and the-cloak charge their reactors.
osm's eyes turn to deep pools of inky black, and even more random bolts of Dark Force energy crackle in his cavernous eyes sockets.
osm: You're fucked, buddy!