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Linux and the Smile.D Virus keeps us Smiling

pstreck writes "News Forge is running a humor filled satire on the the recent Smile.D cross platform virus. It's a good read and just another reminder of why that other operating system needs to figure out a new security policy."

5 of 386 comments (clear)

  1. first postus with the mostus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll


    uNF uNF uNF

    pr0pz to my nigs in #40oz

    word.

  2. FIRST POST by Ken+Dale · · Score: -1, Troll

    w00t w00t

    --
    Ken Dale Email: Protection on /. AIM: Ken D 4th
  3. Is Linux a machination of Satan? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Hello,

    Recently I've been introduced to an operating system known as Linux.

    Lured by its low cost, I replaced Windows 98 on my computer with Linux. Unfortunately the more I use it the more I fear that this "Linux" may be an insidious way for the Dark One to gain a stronger foothold here on Earth. I know this may be a shocking claim, but I have evidence to back it up!

    To begin with, Linux is based off of an older, obsolete OS called "BSD Unix". The child-indoctrinatingly-cute cartoon mascot of this OS is a devil holding a pitchfork. This OS -- and its Linux offspring -- extensively use what are unsettingly called "daemons" (which is how Pagans write "demon" -- they are notoriously poor spellers: magick, vampyre, etc.) which is a program that hides in the background, doing things without the user's notice. If you are using a computer running Linux then you probably have these "demons" on your computer, hardly something a good Christian would want! Furthermore in order to start or stop these "demons" a user must execute a command called "finger". By "fingering" a "demon" one excercises an unholy power, much the same way that the Lord of Flies controls his black minions.

    Linux contains another Satanic holdover from the "BSD Unix" OS mentioned above; to open up certain locked files one has to run a program much like the DOS prompt in Microsoft Windows and type in a secret code: "chmod 666". What other horrors lurk in this thing?

    Consider some of these other Linux commands: "sleep", "mount", "unzip", "strip" and "touch". All highly suggestive in a sexual
    nature. I know that our Lord cannot approve of these, and I urge them to be renamed to something appropriate to the Christian community. Interestingly "CONTROL-G" (the sixth key from the left of the keyboard) does an abort. To write files a "VI" editor is included. All these are to ensnare the unsuspecting christian who could get tempted by typing "VIVIVI" all day long.

    Fourth, Linux uses a flavor of DOS known as Bash. Bash is an acronym for "Bourne Again Shell". On the surface this would appear to be supportive of the Lord. However, remember that even Satan can quote the bible for his own purposes! While I believe Linux may be born-again, its obvious by the misspelling of "born" that its not born-again in an Christian church. Will the lies ever cease?

    Additionally, one of the main long-haired hippies involved with the GNU Free Software Foundation supports communism, contraception and abortion. He has consistently supported 60's counter-cultural "values", and his web site even advocates government support of contraception. He also wears fake halos, and has quips about his made-up church that relates to his free software. I find such blasphemy to be extremely unsettling.

    One must also remember that the creator of Linux, a college student named Linux Torvaldis, comes from Finland. I'm sure all the followers of Christ are aware of the heritical nature of the Finnish: from necrophilia to human sacrifice, Finnish culture is awash in sin. I find little reason to believe anything good and holy could arise from this evil land.

    Finally, let us remember that there is an alternative to using the Satan-powered Linux. I think history has shown us that Microsoft is quite holy. I'm told that its founder, William Gates is a strong supporter of our Lord and I encourage my fellow Christians to buy only his products to help keep the Devil at bay.

    I wish I had more time to expound upon my findings. Unfortunately a family of Jews has moved in across the street and I must go speak to them of Jesus Christ before they are condemned to eternal hellfire.

    Please investigate this as you see fit and I'm sure you'll reach the same conclusions that I have.

  4. Ego-masturbation of the worst kind by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    This piece assumes that all people running Linux are somehow automagically smarter than all the Windows-users. Well just take a look at some Linux help forums and then tell me you still feel that way. Clueless people are clueless people no matter what OS they run.

  5. Re:Can there be anyone more biased? by blixel · · Score: 0, Troll

    I run XP, its not too hard to be smart. Its an unfair comparison with Linux and Windows because most of the people using Windows are basic users.

    I agree completely. I run XP as well and was running 98SE before that, 98 before that, 95 before that, and MS DOS before that. I've yet to be "infected" by a virus. (I use Linux for all my "server" stuff.)

    If Linux had a billion "basic" users where 90% of them were logging on as root all the time, then Linux would be just as virus prone as Windows.

    In other words viruses are more of a people problem than a Windows problem. Not to say the O/S doesn't have some responsibility. From MS-DOS up to and including Windows 98SE and Windows ME, since everyone had "root" privelages it made Windows an easy target for viruses. But even still it's more of a people problem.

    People who just want to check their e-mail, send an instant message to their friend, and download pictures from their digital camera to their computer don't want to have to learn how to be a system administrator just to do these basic tasks. (And they shouldn't have to.)