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Mobile Phone in Your Teeth!
thumbtack writes "News.com is running a story that reports that British researchers claim to have developed an implant that could be placed in a tooth and used as a mobile phone. According to the article, the sound would be transferred to the inner ear by bone resonance, and could be listened too anytime anywhere, with complete privacy." This is awesome. Course it would kinda suck if your phone rang when you were asleep.
Upgrading to the newest version would be a pain in the ass^Wmouth.
Michael Loves Me!
I thought holding the antenna too close to your head with a normal cell phone increased your exposure. Having the phone in your tooth sounds like really asking for it. Maybe the tooth phone could do double duty though. If your food has gotten cold, the phone microwaves could re-heat it while you're chewing.
New Nokia T1, smallest cellular phone ever! Just stick this fan-cooled battery in your cheek so it won't burn your skin, change it every day, and talk gingivitis away!
And just imagine the new acronyms they'd be coming out with. Portable Lightweight Audible Query Using Electronics, voice activated to!
Get PLAQUE implanted and never miss a phonecall again!
My own pointless vanity vintage computing page
After all, in the next round of TV commercials, would you rather stare Jamie Lee Curtis in the tooth, or...
STOP . AMERICA . NOW
Presumably, a filling in the space vacated by cavities. Should be the best use of bluetooth we'll see...
First, nothing begins if not opening
I see a large number of problems here:
1) I have two phones - one personal, the other for work. Would I have to get two implants? Then, how would I answer one, but not the other? OTOH - If I did this, a conference call would be a cinch.
2) What happens when I need to change from Sprint to AT&T? Do I have to go back to the dentist? Can I sell my old Sprint implant?
3) So how would I surf the wireless web? (Very big lately)
4) What about programming my phone book?
5) Wouldn't getting screwed by your telco now REALLY leave a bad taste in your mouth?
6) If I set the phone to ring "silently", it might just kick loose a filling or to.
7) I don't think anyone I want to talk to would appreciate me snacking down on a hoagie while I'm talking to them, which is almost the only time I get lunch.
8) I'd have to change toothpaste. I'm sure my Colgate Total isn't supposed to be used on electronics.
9) I don't think anyone would buy it, because then they wouldn't be able to say "I wasn't by the phone." Also, can you imagine some of the phone calls? Phone calls in the bathroom, in the shower, while -um- massaging yourself?
and finally...
10) I wouldn't be able to tell between the lunatics talking to God and a Fortune 500 CEO in a conference call. Particularly with the number of well dressed wackos in the world.
This is by far the worst idea I've heard yet.
The Dopester
"Yes, I'm a Karma Whore, but I'm doing it to pay my way through school."
I guess having a video-enabled tooth-phone wouldn't be much help either to anybody except your dentist or orthodontist :) :)
:)
I wonder what the regulations would be like about using one of these while you are driving...
Oh yes, and of course, we could now have no idea whether or not the crazy people walking down the street ranting, mumbling, or screaming were crazy, or talking on a brand new tooth-phone!
Oh yes, and then of course people would be hanging their heads out windows and opening up their mouths to the sky to try to get better reception
[Something witty and intelligent should have appeared here.]
{Traicovn}
I was acutally worked with James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau on prototyping this device, a fact left out in the article. The trickiest part was dialing. We initially settled on using a combination of light taps on the tooth with the tongue to initiate calls, but we ran into a problem. When I tried to pick up women in bars with the old "tying a cherry stem into a knot" trick, I inadvertantly rang up 9-1-1.
Back to the drawing board.
Until you realize you have to stick your tongue in a wall outlet to recharge the thing... :)
"Honey, why are you eating the extension cord?"
"I'm meephrbing muh foofphnd!"
"What?"
"I'm meephrbing muh foofphnd, hammt!!"
"I can't understand you."
"I'm recharging my tooth phone, damn it! Now go out to the garage and get me some electrical tape and a case of Bactine."
This tagline is umop apisdn.
Is anyone else reminded of the scene from "Real Genius" ?
Kent.
This is God.
You've been a very naughty boy.
...
I want you to think about what you've done. And until then, STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF.
:-)
Good idea, but there had better be some good encryption and security in place. Or some evil haxor might start beaming 'Take Me Down to Funkytown' in a loop to your head.
Michael Loves Me!