Slashdot Mirror
CAE Tools for Car Performance Modifications?
RevHead asks: "Although after-market performance modification of cars is a discipline which claims a significant following all over the world, most of the information available on the topic tends to be more of anecdotal nature. To add to this and the plethora of conflicting information out there,
most of the tips and techniques tend to be of 'do it and see if it works' type of experimentation. I am interested in the simulation approach prior to actual experimentation to get a decent picture of what to expect during the experimentation phase, which IMHO should be safer and more cost-effective. Has anyone resorted to this approach (successfully) when it comes to engine modification, suspension design, aerodynamic performance and emission control? If so what software is available for these tasks? Which are the most popular/most effective? Does anyone know of any public-domain automotive engine models available for CAE applications such as Catia and ADAMS?"
nerds should leave car modfications alone, this is nuts and bolts, throttle bodies, 4-barrel carbs. computer simulation and hot rod don't mix. you can try to bring it in but it won't work. add HP is all about the tried and true methods, getting 3"+ exhaust, drop in a big block, use a t-56 getrag tranny will shave seconds off of your quarter mile time. computer at best can only be used to measure analyze Dyno results. always take it to the track as the temperature and sea level effects real life performance.
And I am the CROCODILE HUNTER!
I am not yelling! Wait. Yes I BLOODY AM!
so ppl can post stories about playing with their poo, but i can't post a link relevant to the story?
and ppl can post css code, but i can't post a hint for torpedoing a lame piece software whose problems i pointed out to the manufacturer 4 years ago?
slashdot is just another lameass corp bending over for their lawyers paranoia.
You make a lot of assumptions. I know plenty of auto related companies, and I can tell you that it's far from "guesstimation". They don't just go off half assed and do something, there is a lot of engineering principle behind their products. You asked about aerodynamics, engines, and mechanicals. In each of these areas there is a lot of work. Aerodynamics is one of the most visible parts of design, and there is very little in the way of guessing (except, umm, for those tasteless wings and stuff that people put on their cars). A good source of information on Aerodynamics can be found via books. Specifically: Fiberglass & Composite Materials: An Enthusiast's Guide to High Performance Non-Metallic Materials for Automotive Racing and Marine Use by Forbes Aird Aerodynamics for Racing and Performance Cars by Forbes Aird Competition Car Downforce: A Practical Guide by Simon McBeath Race Car Aerodynamics: Designing for Speed by Joseph Katz I have the Aird books, and they're very good. Mechanical engineering is well understood and followed, especially by Cal Poly. The FSAE contests are a great proving grounds for designs. Books by Forbes Aird and Carroll Smith are really good points to start with. The Smith books are phenomenally thorough and put you in awe. That guys has FORGOTTEN more, than most people KNOW. The Aird book is more down to earth and easier to read than the Smith books, both authors are tremendously entertaining. Here are some books: Race Car Chassis: Design and Construction by Forbes Aird Tune to Win by Carroll Smith Carroll Smith's Nuts, Bolts and Fasteners and Plumbing Handbook by Carroll Smith Engineer to Win: The Essential Guide to Racing Car Materials Technology or How to Build Winners Which Don't Break by Carroll Smith How to Make Your Car Handle by Fred Puhn For engines and mechanical systems, I find that periodicals on the subject are very informative. I learned most of what I know about engines from reading Mustang magazines. There are books out there on rebuilding engines and performance. Here are some good books: Turbochargers by Hugh MacInnes Mustang Performance Handbook : Engine and Drivetrain Modifications for Street, Drag Strip or Road Racing Use. Covers All Models of the Ford Mustang, 1979 to present. by William R. Mathis Ford Fuel Injection & Electronic Engine Control : All Ford/Lincoln-Mercury Cars and Light Trucks 1988 to 1993 by Charles O. Probst Fuel Injection: Installation, Performance Tuning, Modification by Jeff Hartman And finally, if you want to do engine simulation on the bench, err, computer, check out Desktop Dyno 2000. It's from Motion Software, costs $50 with the Cam-Disk CD (over 2000 cam profiles). It's a great program, however like all software, garbage in, garbage out. If you expect to get reasonable data from the program, you must supply it with reasonable data.
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Ask the Ya-Hoot Oracle Anything!
angry dragon: Immediately after you blow your load in a girls mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
bronco: You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
cleveland steamer: The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
club sped: Gang banging a retard. For those idiots out there, sped come from special ed, you do the math. cold lunchThe act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.
couch bombing: When you fill a small Ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy it dinner first.
coyote: This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
dirty river: You give a bitch the most painful anal sex of her life and then ask her to turn around. Just as she turns you surprise her with a low blow, a punch to her lower stomach as hard as you can. Once you land the blow she will shit uncontrollably, shit will flow from her worn out asshole like a dirty fucking river. Then just sit back and enjoy the show.
dirty sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
dog in a bathtub: This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
donkey punch: Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
dutch oven: Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
flying camel: A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.
hot lunch: The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.
mung: Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
pearl necklace: Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.
rear admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watching her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
relative humidity: That first drop of sweat that rolls off your balls and down the crack of your sister's ass while you fuck her.
sandbag: Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well-known cliché of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.
shocker: When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)
snowball: Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.
stranger: Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off. Eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
tea bag: To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kinda fucked up yoga exercise.
tossing salad: A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available. (i.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.) I'm never going to prison.
upper deck: Next time you're at the house of someone you hate, take a wicked shit in the top part of the toilet. They'll go insane trying to figure out where that stench is coming from.