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What Would Happen If the Moon Crashed To Earth?
angkor writes: "What would happen if the Moon crashed into the Earth? We'd die. But there seem to be a lot of variables involved in answering this. I wonder if /.ers have any other ideas..."
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The article pretty much covered why the moon won't ever hit the Earth (and what would happen if Q snapped his fingers and it did), so I won't touch that.
However, this does remind me of a very, very bizzare conversation I and several others had a couple of years back (while waiting for food at a restaurant, and pondering the rolls).
Q: What would happen if you had an entire planet made out of bread?
Getting the answer was a very amusing thought-experiment. It turns out that you'd eventually end up with a bacteria-infested planet with a large diamond core, a mantle of uncertain composition, a crust of tar with seas of complex hydrocarbons and carbohydrates, and an atmosphere of methane and water vapour.
So, I invite similarly bored slashdotters to consider similar questions involving other materials, or other interesting celestial thought-experiments.
Reasonable? To whom?
didn't anyone see the scientifically accurate movie The Time Machine. When the moon collides with the earth, part of the population will flee underground and evolve into these freaky hyper-predator humanoids called morlocks. The fragmented remains of the surface-dwelling humans will create an idyllic proto society with neo-lithic science and incredible basket weaving skills.
sheesh. i don't know why questions like this even get posted. The movie only just came out this spring.
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Earth == bread
Moon == cheese
Collision == very large grilled cheese sandwich.
Any sufficiently simple magic can be passed off as mere advanced technology.
I can't believe this. You all are making light of a very serious question involving mathematics of orbits, and what kind of long term solar system damage would occur should the moon (I assume we are talking about our moon, here), crash into the Earth. And all some of you do to answer this serious question is make jokes about things they learned from "Thundarr the Barbarian" or something. Well, not me.
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I want to know the media angle.
This would be a godsend to Fox News and the New CNN. Ratings aplenty. All kinds of pundits speculating everything as the large death-ball looms closer. You heard me right: "death-ball." And people would be glued to their TVs, and advertising revenues would soar.
"Pepsi presents: Armageddon. The choice of a lost generation."
CNNfn would want to know how this would affect stock prices. There would be the usual gang of idiots all pointing their financial fingers in 20 different directions. Some would see the stock market plummet as people cashed out. Or leveled as people just gave up hope, because you can't take it with you. Maybe it would even increase, says a man who just bought 20billion shares of PepsiCo, because of all the ad revenue.
CSPAN, with both of their cameras on 24/7, would show the last senators and representatives discussing how THEY should get more disaster relief to their state. Senator Gramm has taken the floor, demanding more disaster relief since the DFW corridor has taken a beating as it is in the dying IT market and with their citizens appearing on every other episode of "C.O.P.S." And now this! Probably a liberal plot to move the tech corridor to Virginia, he says.
Fox news gets a poll:
- Thinks the world is going to end: 55%
- Thinks the world is going to recover: 22%
- Thinks the moon is made of a stinky green cheese: 62%
- Hopes it doesn't crash into their state: 95%
- Knows it doesn't matter where it crashes, the world will blow up anyway:
- Thinks Senator Gramm is made of a stinky green cheese: 12%
- Blames the Democrats: - 45%
- Blames the Republicans: - 45%
- Blames Senator Gramm: - 62%
- Blames the reduction of "Pro-gravity" initiatives: - 5%
- Said, "What moon?" - 10%
- Said, "No foolin'? Crashin' into the Earth? Damn!" - 10%
- Said, "I don't care, as long as I don't have to clean it up!" - 10%
- Thinks this will postpone the Oscars - 42%
- Thinks the polls are calculated incorrectly: - 129%
Nickelodeon will have a Linda Ellerbee special called, "You didn't eat enough vegetables, and now we're all gonna die, you brats!" Sesame Street will have a very special episode where Dr. Philip Morrison explains gravity wells to Elmo. Parents petition books stores to remove the "inappropriate and disturbing" book, "Good Night Moon."
Howard Stern will admit it was all an act to detract from his effeminate curly hair. Then he tells fart jokes until the studio or the moon's crash cuts him off the air.
Evangelical Christians will be smug, say the bible predicted this with a lot of vague interpretations, and eventually blame gay people. Gay people will blame stereotypes. Stereotypes will blame the press, who will blame each other on the next 20/20. Jack Chick will suddenly admit his campaign and tracts were all a joke started by a bet with the late Anton LaVey on who could repel the most people from Christianity in the shortest time possible. He won.
In the end, the media will finally get what it wants, and while the moon and the Earth smash into each other like melons in a mosh pit, people will still be arguing about whether this is all just hype.