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Bogus Harry Potter Book In China
elveu writes "Chinese Harry Potter fans have been blessed with the fifth book early -- only it's not the real one. The title translates to 'Harry Potter And Leopard Walk Up To Dragon.' The story has Harry getting turned into a fat hairy drawf and being void of his powers."
and being void of his powers
They turned him into Newt Gingrich?
My sig sucks.
"Harry Potter, and the Wrath Of The Troll", wherein Harry Potter is turned into a slashdot editor that can't spell.
'Harry Potter And Leoard Walk Up To Dragon.'
In other news, the fake versions of the sixth and seventh book will be titled "Harry Potter Slay Dragon", and "Harry Potter Steal Dragon Treasure".
The manuscripts were discovered when buyers found that each only contained 2 pages of text, and a lot of blank pages.
I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
But ginny has a thing for harry... he's horny... he'll take what he can get.
We also all know that ron is going to get hermione pregnent before they graduate... and i don't even want to think about what goes on with the house elves...
I have often thought of writing Hairy Pothead and the Sorcerer, Stoned, about Harry's dissolute adventures with controlled substances and the resulting degradation of his hygiene whilst at university.
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
'Harry doesn't know how long it will take to wash the sticky cream cake off his face,'
...
'For a civilised young man it is disgusting to have dirt on any part of his body.
'He lies in the high-quality china bathtub, keeps wiping his face, and thinks about Dali's face, which is as fat as the bottom of Aunt Penny.'
'He keeps wonder what it is to be man when he grow up then Ginny can be wife and have two children as directed by the Queen Lizerbath II'
'The soap bubble go up then flop down next to the now dead soap bubble.'
'Harry wave his thumb and flies in his magic stick which he wave at bubble, bubble turn into TV and he watch BBC where there is a show about how to capture his uncle Black'
'Harry is not happy'
'Harry looks down and see he is man now, but he grow not tall, maybe if he play basketball he might but in England Harry only play soccer, that till Harry in school then he play his favourite sport'
'Harry turn TV into bubble then say prayer to Jesus before walking to kitchen where Aunt Penny is angry with Harry again'
'Aunt Penny look at Harry and scream'
AUNT PENNY : 'HELP HELP It's the man from Austin powers, help help!'
'Harry look puzzle and rub his scar then look in mirror'
'Harry sees mini me, Harry feel heart break into one piece'
It amazes me that someone can try to relate the Harry Potter series to Foucault and Derrida, accuse an entire nation of being unsophisticated, and still manage to spell "literary" incorrectly.
(* The story has Harry getting turned into a fat hairy drawf and being void of his powers." *)
Perhaps they should have called it, "Harry Gets Married".
Table-ized A.I.
Overpeer's at it again!
-- Wibble
Haryy's quest to continue to find He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as he journeys across the wild and exotic backdrop of rural China. Along the way he encounters the loveable but stern Master who takes him in and teaches him Leopard-Style Kung-Fu, the only Kung-Fu capable of beating the Voldemort's Dragon-Style. Armed with a quarter staff and the ability to make feathers float, he resumes his quest only to finally meet up with Voldemort against the oft-used-but-still-unappreciated-backdrop of the Great Wall. They challenge each other, make feathers float, then begin the fateful duel. Hilarity ensues. This book has dubbbed speech, or you can choose the subtitle option, where the english shows up at the bottom of the book as a footnote.
As a wheel of time fan, no sympathy for them!
Everything will be taken away from you.