Slashdot Mirror
Halo for the PC and Mac
smelialichu writes "According to this news article, Halo is finally on its way to the PC and Mac. Gearbox is handling the PC version, and Westlak Interactive is working on the Mac version, but it won't be released untill next summer. The official announcement says "Halo for PC is expected to be available in summer 2003. The Macintosh version is also expected to be available in 2003. Additional information regarding game content, features and enhancements will be announced at a later date." We can only assume they have some cool new features up their sleeves, maybe we'll be seeing Halo with even better graphics, optimized for the new Radeon? Anyway, this is certainly a huge relief to many gamers who thought they may never see Halo on their home PC's."
nt
Hail to the king, baby!
I would make this first post for CLIT, but YOU IDIOTS MISSED IT! And that's your fault. I'm genuinely sorry, ok? But next time try to get it yourselves.
TheSpoogeAwards owns this post.
Whats black, blue and green and doesnt like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
Whats the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
Whats wrong, honey?
Im leaving you! I just found out youre a pdophile!
Pdophile? Why, thats a pretty big word for a ten year-old.
How can you tell when your sisters on her period?
When your dads dick tastes like blood!
Two pdophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, Excuse me, youre in my son.
What is the sickest sound you hear when fucking a nine year-old?
Her hips snapping!
What is the best sound you hear when fucking a 13 year-old?
Her hips snapping!
Whats 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the mans seven year-old son tell that his dad had fucked his eight year-old sister? His dads weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?
Holmes replies, Elementary, my dear Watson.
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, My, how presumptuous of you. I said, Presumptuous? Thats a big word for a ten year-old.
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, Damn! Id love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!
Second guy says, Yuck! Youre a sick bastard!
First guy says, Whatre you? A fag?
A kindergarten teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, My dad is dead.
The teacher says, Thats terribile, but what did he do before he died?
Little Johnny replies, He turned blue and shit all over himself!
A guy calls in sick to work.
Whats wrong? asks the boss.
Im sick, the guy replies.
You sound all right.
No, Im really sick. Believe me.
Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You cant be that sick!
Dude, I just banged my sister. Dont tell me Im not sick.
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, Sweetheart, youre going to get hair on your Twinkie.
I know, the little girl replied. Im gonna get tits, too.
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: These woods sure are spooky!
Man: You think youre scared, Ive gotta walk out of here alone.
Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jacksons new book, The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing?
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I dont cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I dont kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You cant fuck a table.
Q: Whats special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?
A: An orgy!
Q: Whats better than three 14 year-olds?
A: 14 three year-olds.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a babys crib?
A: A pdophiles ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: Theyre fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead babys jaw?
A: Deep throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: Whats the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead babys hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: Whats worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
Whats better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
- poopbot: the bot formerly known as pwpbot
version 6.2?
I didn't know IBM's old OS was still alive and kicking.
You'd think they would make this for windows or even Linux.
Second, doing something irrevesible is rarely a good idea, always leave some options.
jump into an industrial sized chipper shredder.
One of the greatest underutilized resources our country has today is the huge
population of terminally ill adults. Of course, it must be horrifying to be
diagnosed with a terminal disease, but in an odd way it also confers upon the
patient a certain degree of freedom. For example, if such a patient has
previously been shafted by a car dealer in town, he now has the option of
leasing a sunroofed luxury sedan from them in June, driving it for two
months without making a single payment, then parking it on a 100 degree
day in August, having dumped 15 or 20 bushel baskets of hog intestines in
thru the sun roof - have a nice day Mr. Dealer ! Or what about the ultimate
"take this job and shove it" statement, the fantasy of every downtrodden
worker in America - taking a huge shit on the bosses desk. Imagine your
queasy boss having to call the Negro janitor in to clean it up ( "NO, its NOT
my shit Leroy, just clean it up, damnit !" ). Yes, such a diagnosis is the
passport to all kinds of fun and mayhem, but a serious problem still remains -
the long term well being of the terminally ill patient's loved ones. This is
where the Kranz Make A Wish Foundation comes in...
Certain foreign countries have long ago perfected the role of suicide
missions - Omsala Bin Laden, fearing the Islamic world is about to be
overrun by McDonalds and the Cindy Margolis Show, dispatches a couple of
the faithful to bomb a U.S. destroyer; or the Hezbollah, bored by the Florida
recount process, decide to suicide-bomb a commuter bus in downtown Tel
Aviv. Why has the U.S. lagged so far behind in this game ? The goal of the
Kranz Make A Wish Foundation is, in a nutshell, to facilitate the process by
matching terminally ill patients with an entry on a list of people that
desperately need killing. The specifics are as follows:
An internet site is set up with a descriptive home page. Each following page
describes a target, thedesired method of death, and the current bid amount.
There are two buttons on each page, "I Accept" and "I Pledge". The latter
button lets anyone contribute via the usual online credit card process to the
total pool for this target. The first button is more serious - anyone who
presses it is prompted for a barrage of information including 1) nature of
illness 2) treating physician 3) executor of estate 4) home phone,etc. This
information is verified and a face to face meet set up where an offshore bank
account is set up with the appropriate procedures in place for the executor. If
the target is executed according to web page instructions the executor is
contacted to begin the transfer of wealth to the next of kin. The beauty of
this plan is that its centered in a murder-friendly foreign country like
Panama or Red China. Even the web site would be hosted off shore. To
quote Al Gore, "There is no controlling legal authority !". The terminally ill
patient would be given any necessary training ( small arms, explosives,
whatever ) and a painless overdose of heroin to be used after the mission is
completed, in the event that he/she does not perish with the target.
What would a sample target page look like ? Well, a few examples come to
mind...
If the patient has ( or perhaps had ) relatives in Waco, Texas, he might get a
chuckle out of this one. Janet Reno is abducted and brought to the top of
one of those endless Washington DC federal building stairways ( you know,
one of those with zillions of four inch high and 18 inch deep steps that go
nowhere in a hurry ). There she is duct taped to a wheelchair, soaked in
gasoline, set ablaze then given a gentle push down the stairs. The bumpy and
jerky ride down to the bottom would be quite comical, and might, if taped,
even qualify for America's Funniest Home Videos.
Law abiding gun owners in New York State who are sick of Chuck
Schumer's Nazi antics to disarm them will appreciate Chuck's potential
demise. He is abducted, dressed in women's underwear, and handcuffed to a
stop sign in the South Bronx late one night. A hand lettered sign that reads
"Parole Officer" is tied around his neck. The body is discovered next morning
bleeding profusely from the rectum with several hundred bullet holes in his
head and torso. A fitting end to one of the great rectal leeches of current
political life. Automobile enthusiasts might appreciate Ralph Nader's page.
This script calls for a restored 65 Chevy Corvair to be driven to the Palisades
Cliffs just north of the GW bridge on the Jersey side. There a handcuffed
Nader is put in the driver's seat. The steering wheel is tied to straight ahead,
the throttle blocked wide open, then the transmission shifted into
drive...watch out Ralph, unsafe at any speed ! Easier hits include: Domino's
Pizza delivery man with 5 lbs plastic explosive taped to his chest knocks on
Bill Clinton's NYC office door; cross dressing Barbara Streisand look alike
with 5 lbs plastic explosive in his bra knocks on Hillary's Washington DC
home front door - er actually this might also work for Bill.
Anyhow, you get the general idea.
One of the greatest underutilized resources our country has today is the huge
population of terminally ill adults. Of course, it must be horrifying to be
diagnosed with a terminal disease, but in an odd way it also confers upon the
patient a certain degree of freedom. For example, if such a patient has
previously been shafted by a car dealer in town, he now has the option of
leasing a sunroofed luxury sedan from them in June, driving it for two
months without making a single payment, then parking it on a 100 degree
day in August, having dumped 15 or 20 bushel baskets of hog intestines in
thru the sun roof - have a nice day Mr. Dealer ! Or what about the ultimate
"take this job and shove it" statement, the fantasy of every downtrodden
worker in America - taking a huge shit on the bosses desk. Imagine your
queasy boss having to call the Negro janitor in to clean it up ( "NO, its NOT
my shit Leroy, just clean it up, damnit !" ). Yes, such a diagnosis is the
passport to all kinds of fun and mayhem, but a serious problem still remains -
the long term well being of the terminally ill patient's loved ones. This is
where the Kranz Make A Wish Foundation comes in...
Certain foreign countries have long ago perfected the role of suicide
missions - Omsala Bin Laden, fearing the Islamic world is about to be
overrun by McDonalds and the Cindy Margolis Show, dispatches a couple of
the faithful to bomb a U.S. destroyer; or the Hezbollah, bored by the Florida
recount process, decide to suicide-bomb a commuter bus in downtown Tel
Aviv. Why has the U.S. lagged so far behind in this game ? The goal of the
Kranz Make A Wish Foundation is, in a nutshell, to facilitate the process by
matching terminally ill patients with an entry on a list of people that
desperately need killing. The specifics are as follows:
An internet site is set up with a descriptive home page. Each following page
describes a target, thedesired method of death, and the current bid amount.
There are two buttons on each page, "I Accept" and "I Pledge". The latter
button lets anyone contribute via the usual online credit card process to the
total pool for this target. The first button is more serious - anyone who
presses it is prompted for a barrage of information including 1) nature of
illness 2) treating physician 3) executor of estate 4) home phone,etc. This
information is verified and a face to face meet set up where an offshore bank
account is set up with the appropriate procedures in place for the executor. If
the target is executed according to web page instructions the executor is
contacted to begin the transfer of wealth to the next of kin. The beauty of
this plan is that its centered in a murder-friendly foreign country like
Panama or Red China. Even the web site would be hosted off shore. To
quote Al Gore, "There is no controlling legal authority !". The terminally ill
patient would be given any necessary training ( small arms, explosives,
whatever ) and a painless overdose of heroin to be used after the mission is
completed, in the event that he/she does not perish with the target.
What would a sample target page look like ? Well, a few examples come to
mind...
If the patient has ( or perhaps had ) relatives in Waco, Texas, he might get a
chuckle out of this one. Janet Reno is abducted and brought to the top of
one of those endless Washington DC federal building stairways ( you know,
one of those with zillions of four inch high and 18 inch deep steps that go
nowhere in a hurry ). There she is duct taped to a wheelchair, soaked in
gasoline, set ablaze then given a gentle push down the stairs. The bumpy and
jerky ride down to the bottom would be quite comical, and might, if taped,
even qualify for America's Funniest Home Videos.
Law abiding gun owners in New York State who are sick of Chuck
Schumer's Nazi antics to disarm them will appreciate Chuck's potential
demise. He is abducted, dressed in women's underwear, and handcuffed to a
stop sign in the South Bronx late one night. A hand lettered sign that reads
"Parole Officer" is tied around his neck. The body is discovered next morning
bleeding profusely from the rectum with several hundred bullet holes in his
head and torso. A fitting end to one of the great rectal leeches of current
political life. Automobile enthusiasts might appreciate Ralph Nader's page.
This script calls for a restored 65 Chevy Corvair to be driven to the Palisades
Cliffs just north of the GW bridge on the Jersey side. There a handcuffed
Nader is put in the driver's seat. The steering wheel is tied to straight ahead,
the throttle blocked wide open, then the transmission shifted into
drive...watch out Ralph, unsafe at any speed ! Easier hits include: Domino's
Pizza delivery man with 5 lbs plastic explosive taped to his chest knocks on
Bill Clinton's NYC office door; cross dressing Barbara Streisand look alike
with 5 lbs plastic explosive in his bra knocks on Hillary's Washington DC
home front door - er actually this might also work for Bill.
Anyhow, you get the general idea. So remember sports fans, when you see
the site, be generous!
-klerck
DTABN
For people who have been with Bungie since the original marathon, this is totally proof of MS's evil.
Bungie brought great gaming in the dark days of the Mac...they put twists on the FPS that were later imitated by the big boys at id (such as enemies getting mad at each other).
As soon as Bungie got acquired by MS, they rushed the terrible Oni out the door (obviously half-finished) and went Xbox only. I might have to buy one of those hideous green beasts (used, of course) just to play that excellent game called Halo.
On a completely unrelated topic, has anyone noticed that there's something different about the karma? It's now "excellent" on mine instead of a number. Anyone else getting this?
I hope this isn't permanent...I like to keep my karma around 30 (close to my age :). If it got too high , I would burn it, and it would make me feel younger :).
Now I'm stuck with "Excellent," which was great on my first-grade conduct report, but seems a bit off for Slashdot. I need the objectivity of numbers!
What would the Hindus do if their karma wasn't measured in numbers? They'd have no idea if they were being reborn as a flea or a donkey! :)
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
One of the greatest underutilized resources our country has today is the huge
population of terminally ill adults. Of course, it must be horrifying to be
diagnosed with a terminal disease, but in an odd way it also confers upon the
patient a certain degree of freedom. For example, if such a patient has
previously been shafted by a car dealer in town, he now has the option of
leasing a sunroofed luxury sedan from them in June, driving it for two
months without making a single payment, then parking it on a 100 degree
day in August, having dumped 15 or 20 bushel baskets of hog intestines in
thru the sun roof - have a nice day Mr. Dealer ! Or what about the ultimate
"take this job and shove it" statement, the fantasy of every downtrodden
worker in America - taking a huge shit on the bosses desk. Imagine your
queasy boss having to call the Negro janitor in to clean it up ( "NO, its NOT
my shit Leroy, just clean it up, damnit !" ). Yes, such a diagnosis is the
passport to all kinds of fun and mayhem, but a serious problem still remains -
the long term well being of the terminally ill patient's loved ones. This is
where the Kranz Make A Wish Foundation comes in...
Certain foreign countries have long ago perfected the role of suicide
missions - Omsala Bin Laden, fearing the Islamic world is about to be
overrun by McDonalds and the Cindy Margolis Show, dispatches a couple of
the faithful to bomb a U.S. destroyer; or the Hezbollah, bored by the Florida
recount process, decide to suicide-bomb a commuter bus in downtown Tel
Aviv. Why has the U.S. lagged so far behind in this game ? The goal of the
Kranz Make A Wish Foundation is, in a nutshell, to facilitate the process by
matching terminally ill patients with an entry on a list of people that
desperately need killing. The specifics are as follows:
An internet site is set up with a descriptive home page. Each following page
describes a target, thedesired method of death, and the current bid amount.
There are two buttons on each page, "I Accept" and "I Pledge". The latter
button lets anyone contribute via the usual online credit card process to the
total pool for this target. The first button is more serious - anyone who
presses it is prompted for a barrage of information including 1) nature of
illness 2) treating physician 3) executor of estate 4) home phone,etc. This
information is verified and a face to face meet set up where an offshore bank
account is set up with the appropriate procedures in place for the executor. If
the target is executed according to web page instructions the executor is
contacted to begin the transfer of wealth to the next of kin. The beauty of
this plan is that its centered in a murder-friendly foreign country like
Panama or Red China. Even the web site would be hosted off shore. To
quote Al Gore, "There is no controlling legal authority !". The terminally ill
patient would be given any necessary training ( small arms, explosives,
whatever ) and a painless overdose of heroin to be used after the mission is
completed, in the event that he/she does not perish with the target.
What would a sample target page look like ? Well, a few examples come to
mind...
If the patient has ( or perhaps had ) relatives in Waco, Texas, he might get a
chuckle out of this one. Janet Reno is abducted and brought to the top of
one of those endless Washington DC federal building stairways ( you know,
one of those with zillions of four inch high and 18 inch deep steps that go
nowhere in a hurry ). There she is duct taped to a wheelchair, soaked in
gasoline, set ablaze then given a gentle push down the stairs. The bumpy and
jerky ride down to the bottom would be quite comical, and might, if taped,
even qualify for America's Funniest Home Videos.
Law abiding gun owners in New York State who are sick of Chuck
Schumer's Nazi antics to disarm them will appreciate Chuck's potential
demise. He is abducted, dressed in women's underwear, and handcuffed to a
stop sign in the South Bronx late one night. A hand lettered sign that reads
"Parole Officer" is tied around his neck. The body is discovered next morning
bleeding profusely from the rectum with several hundred bullet holes in his
head and torso. A fitting end to one of the great rectal leeches of current
political life. Automobile enthusiasts might appreciate Ralph Nader's page.
This script calls for a restored 65 Chevy Corvair to be driven to the Palisades
Cliffs just north of the GW bridge on the Jersey side. There a handcuffed
Nader is put in the driver's seat. The steering wheel is tied to straight ahead,
the throttle blocked wide open, then the transmission shifted into
drive...watch out Ralph, unsafe at any speed ! Easier hits include: Domino's
Pizza delivery man with 5 lbs plastic explosive taped to his chest knocks on
Bill Clinton's NYC office door; cross dressing Barbara Streisand look alike
with 5 lbs plastic explosive in his bra knocks on Hillary's Washington DC home front door - er actually this might also work for Bill. Anyhow, you get the general idea. So remember sports fans, when you see the site, be generous.
One of the greatest underutilized resources our country has today is the huge
population of terminally ill adults. Of course, it must be horrifying to be
diagnosed with a terminal disease, but in an odd way it also confers upon the
patient a certain degree of freedom. For example, if such a patient has
previously been shafted by a car dealer in town, he now has the option of
leasing a sunroofed luxury sedan from them in June, driving it for two
months without making a single payment, then parking it on a 100 degree
day in August, having dumped 15 or 20 bushel baskets of hog intestines in
thru the sun roof - have a nice day Mr. Dealer ! Or what about the ultimate
"take this job and shove it" statement, the fantasy of every downtrodden
worker in America - taking a huge shit on the bosses desk. Imagine your
queasy boss having to call the Negro janitor in to clean it up ( "NO, its NOT
my shit Leroy, just clean it up, damnit !" ). Yes, such a diagnosis is the
passport to all kinds of fun and mayhem, but a serious problem still remains -
the long term well being of the terminally ill patient's loved ones. This is
where the Kranz Make A Wish Foundation comes in...
Certain foreign countries have long ago perfected the role of suicide
missions - Omsala Bin Laden, fearing the Islamic world is about to be
overrun by McDonalds and the Cindy Margolis Show, dispatches a couple of
the faithful to bomb a U.S. destroyer; or the Hezbollah, bored by the Florida
recount process, decide to suicide-bomb a commuter bus in downtown Tel
Aviv. Why has the U.S. lagged so far behind in this game ? The goal of the
Kranz Make A Wish Foundation is, in a nutshell, to facilitate the process by
matching terminally ill patients with an entry on a list of people that
desperately need killing. The specifics are as follows:
An internet site is set up with a descriptive home page. Each following page
describes a target, thedesired method of death, and the current bid amount.
There are two buttons on each page, "I Accept" and "I Pledge". The latter
button lets anyone contribute via the usual online credit card process to the
total pool for this target. The first button is more serious - anyone who
presses it is prompted for a barrage of information including 1) nature of
illness 2) treating physician 3) executor of estate 4) home phone,etc. This
information is verified and a face to face meet set up where an offshore bank
account is set up with the appropriate procedures in place for the executor. If
the target is executed according to web page instructions the executor is
contacted to begin the transfer of wealth to the next of kin. The beauty of
this plan is that its centered in a murder-friendly foreign country like
Panama or Red China. Even the web site would be hosted off shore. To
quote Al Gore, "There is no controlling legal authority !". The terminally ill
patient would be given any necessary training ( small arms, explosives,
whatever ) and a painless overdose of heroin to be used after the mission is
completed, in the event that he/she does not perish with the target.
What would a sample target page look like ? Well, a few examples come to
mind...
If the patient has ( or perhaps had ) relatives in Waco, Texas, he might get a
chuckle out of this one. Janet Reno is abducted and brought to the top of
one of those endless Washington DC federal building stairways ( you know,
one of those with zillions of four inch high and 18 inch deep steps that go
nowhere in a hurry ). There she is duct taped to a wheelchair, soaked in
gasoline, set ablaze then given a gentle push down the stairs. The bumpy and
jerky ride down to the bottom would be quite comical, and might, if taped,
even qualify for America's Funniest Home Videos.
Law abiding gun owners in New York State who are sick of Chuck
Schumer's Nazi antics to disarm them will appreciate Chuck's potential
demise. He is abducted, dressed in women's underwear, and handcuffed to a
stop sign in the South Bronx late one night. A hand lettered sign that reads
"Parole Officer" is tied around his neck. The body is discovered next morning
bleeding profusely from the rectum with several hundred bullet holes in his
head and torso. A fitting end to one of the great rectal leeches of current
political life. Automobile enthusiasts might appreciate Ralph Nader's page.
This script calls for a restored 65 Chevy Corvair to be driven to the Palisades
Cliffs just north of the GW bridge on the Jersey side. There a handcuffed
Nader is put in the driver's seat. The steering wheel is tied to straight ahead,
the throttle blocked wide open, then the transmission shifted into
drive...watch out Ralph, unsafe at any speed ! Easier hits include: Domino's
Pizza delivery man with 5 lbs plastic explosive taped to his chest knocks on
Bill Clinton's NYC office door; cross dressing Barbara Streisand look alike
with 5 lbs plastic explosive in his bra knocks on Hillary's Washington DC
home front door - er actually this might also work for Bill.
Anyhow, you get the general idea. So remember sports fans, when you see
the site, be generous!!
Read this article about teenage suicide from CNN today. Maybe spelling is not the main point of this discussion. I know this is WAY off topic but just in case the guy is serious I will blow a few karma points.
Help fight continental drift.
I had two comments in this thread marked as "Troll". Can anybody explain to me how I could possibly be trolling? I was responding to the comment that PC's hadn't caught up to XBOX standards, pointing out that Halo was running on earlier PC hardware. I'm sorry but I don't see how that's negative in anyway.
If my tone was negative or anything, somebody let me know? It wasn't intentional.