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Contracts Contracts Contracts

Posted by timothy on from the ignore-the-print-and-sign-here dept.

An anonymous reader submits: "There's an article over at CNet about all those software contracts that are out there, and what to watch for before signing the dotted line. Using California's $95 million Oracle problem, they define what the general terms are that get used in software procurement and support contracts. While mostly geared at commercial software, one can use most of this article to target open source tech support contracts."

6 of 70 comments (clear)

  1. Things To Watch For... by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    > There's an article over at CNet about all those software contracts that are out there, and what to watch for before signing the dotted line. Using California's $95 million Oracle problem, they define what the general terms are that get used in software procurement and support contracts."

    At least in California, the list of "things to watch for before the contract gets signed" is pretty short:

    1) A $25,000 campaign donation to the Governor's re-election fund.

  2. solutions... by skydude_20 · · Score: 3, Funny

    do you want the easy money out of contracts and the secret to avoiding bad contracts?
    sign below and I'll tell you.

    x__________________________

    --
    Jesus saves souls and redeems them for valuable cash prizes
  3. Verisign has optional service agreement by BoVLB · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have to sign up for a Verisign test server certificate every two weeks. As part of this, I have to agree to a lengthy service agreement displayed in an editable TEXTAREA. Of course, I always delete the contract text before agreeing to it.

    1. Re:Verisign has optional service agreement by jeffy124 · · Score: 5, Funny

      oh that's too easy. you have to edit the contract such that they owe you cold cash for clicking "I agree." Oh and dont forget the clause requiring Verizon employees to bow to you when they pass you on the street, greeting you with "Oh great one"

      --
      The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
  4. Clause to watch out for by TheSHAD0W · · Score: 3, Funny

    When perusing a software contract, beware any clauses containing language similar to this:

    Client agrees that all clients database are belong to us. You have no chance to appeal.

  5. English translation of most software licenses by Snake · · Score: 2, Funny
    Source: http://www.waynerad.com/work.html
    (I also remenber seeing it posted once on Slashdot by AC)

    Hello, end-user vermin. Here's some software. It might work. It might not. No gurantees and in fact, we have no responsibility even if it fries your hardware, scrambles your hard drive, blows up your monitor, messes up your credit report, and gets you indicted for tax fraud with the IRS. You however, have no rights at all, peon. You will use the software EXACTLY as we graciously permit you to. Period. Any unauthorized use, regardless of wheather permitted by other laws is (thanks to our lobbying efforts), not just a minor civil violation, but a federal criminal felony. Ha! You agree to waiving all other "fair use" and other rights including constitutional rights and "inalienable" human rights by accepting this EULA. And we might change our minds about what you can do and you agree to that too. We might even decide to scan your hard drive and monitor your network traffic and secretly report that info back to anyone we wish, and without telling you. You, of course, agree to this too. But don't even bother to complain. You should be thrilled we're letting you do anything at all with our product. And if you don't swear blood oath, full compliance with this license, then FUCK YOU and your little dog Toto too and get this software the hell off your computer and destroy the disk. Oh, and if you don't agree, you can't even refund the software, thanks to omnipotent software store policies. Tee-hee! Thnaks for the cash. l00z3rZ! HA Ha ha .......