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Volvo's "Safety Car" Runs Windows 98
An anonymous submitter writes "MSNBC is carrying a report on Volvo's new "Safety Car." It sounds pretty cool, too, until you get to the part that mentions it runs Windows 98 as its operating system. Yikes! Be sure to reboot your car frequently to avoid crashes."
No references to "buggy drivers".
dys-
"Windows 98" and "safety" in the same sentence is a patent oxymoron. Perhaps this is obvious, but apparently not to the people at Microsoft, Volvo, or MSNBC.
Wow, not a cloud in the sky..... wait a minut...
Ingenious!If it doesn't go... you can't get hurt!
Gotta give some credit to those volvo engineers
So close and yet so far from the world's perfect ID number
The Blue Screech of Death. :)
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
I can see it now:
"Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals x. If X is less than the cost of bringing in real programmers to fix our code, we don't release a service pack."
Shall I keep going? :-)
Karma whorin' since 1999
No matter how bad a crash you have in this car, all you have to do is press "RESET" and a couple of minutes later you're back on the road.
When you hop in, does the car say "Where do you want to go today?"
Russian spacecraft run linux on easy bake ovens.
Ok, I made that up.
--
pants ahoy
General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers - - but imagine if they did... HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!" HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?" CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?" HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine." CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?" HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!" HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?" CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know!?" HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?" CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?" HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you." CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000.00 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!" HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!" HELPLINE: "What's wrong?" CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!" HELPLINE: "What were you doing?" CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't start!" HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?" CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash anymore!" HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks." HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?" HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?" CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?" HELPLINE: "Do you know how to DRIVE?" CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"
My Aurora : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91ZsGwJYyg
FB : https://www.facebook.com/TanveersPhotography
Having worked in tech support, I always imagined that a call to a GM support line would run like this:
Helpline: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I have a 1998 Camaro, and when I'm doing 60mph on the Garden State Parkway, shifting into 4th gear with the air conditioning on, my radio station mysteriously switches from my favorite radio station to that crappy country station. Is there a way I can solve this problem?"
Okay, since nobody can come up with anything better than "heh heh, the car will blue screen. heh heh. Err I can't think of any other reasons I don't like Windows", I'll flip the topic around:
:P
What if the car ran Linux?
- The version with the automatic transmission would have 4 drive gears that all work differently, that way you can pick one from an individual that you like.
- Instead of intuitive buttons on the steering column to turn on windshield wipers and so on, you have a patch board complete with a very nice array of differing lengths of cable.
- The driver of the car has to understand how the internal combustion engine works before he can go anywhere in it.
- More than one steering wheel can be added to the car, afterall it is a multi-user OS.
- The gas door would be located underneath the car so that gas doesn't have to go as far to reach the tank. A bottleneck is removed that way.
- The key to get into the door can only fit one right side up, afterall it is case sensitive.
- The 'ding ding' noise when you start the car without the seatbelt fastened won't go off because the sound drivers don't work.
- The car wouldn't come with headlights because only newbs need to be able to see where they're going.
There, that's much better than "ha ha snort snort, that means they'll have to restart the car every ten minutes."
*Hopes the mods have a sense of humor today.*
This is the kind of things that would cause the other part of your split personality to develop SOAP-based protocols.
Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
No, BSOD jokes are just another example of the "FUD" that Linux users profess to hate when it comes from Microsoft but love to spew from their own mouths. Windows 2000 and Windows XP even more so are pretty damn stable
I run Windows XP on a machine and, no joke, one day a few weeks ago I came home to a BSOD. So they say XP is more stable, but when it goes down, it goes down. I had to reinstall (I tried everything, but nothing seemed to work, not even MS's own repare wizard could bring it back).
> No, BSOD jokes are just another example of the "FUD" that Linux users profess to hate when it comes from Microsoft but love to spew from their own mouths. Windows 2000 and Windows XP even more so are pretty damn stable ... Spout all the anecdotal evidence that you want, but I can tell you that my Windows 2000-based laptop and desktop have not crashed once since upgrading to Professional.
<yawn>So, what exactly do you do at Microsoft?</yawn>
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
"Clippy On Board"
"I break for solitare"
"Bob is my copilot"
"I don't break for Netscape"
(Fish sticker with four Windows color segments)
Table-ized A.I.
Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est
Amiga: Cars that were years ahead of their time, and you don't see many on the road as the manufacturer has gone out of business and parts are hard to come by.
Apple OS X: Looks great, but You could only get accessories for it if they were made by Apple.
BSD: Their cars ran really well, but the only mechanic that knows how to work on them is 500 miles away.
IBM AS/400: Your couldn't buy a car but only lease one, it would come with your own mechanic, and would cost around a million per year.
IBM OS/2: You could buy one if you are lucky enough to find one, but It never went anywhere.
IRIX: Their cars would blow the doors off all the others, if you could ever find a gas station.
QNX: You couldn't buy a car, only find the demo car, and that just had a projection of scenery moving across the windshield.
RedHat Linux: You had a choice of sports car, station wagon, mini-van, or 18-wheel tractor trailer. You could design your own if you wish to, but most people gave up when it came to picking from the 2000 different accessories.
Sun Solaris: Their cars would have a least two engines, with up to 32 engines, and they would weigh 400 tons, but once they got moving, they were hard as hell to stop.
Last but not least: Microsoft: Just Where did You think You were going today?
I may be bad with names, but I'll never forget your IP address
Windows 98 is the only version of windows left with a real DOS prompt.
Microsoft will no longer sell you a copy of DOS. It's no longer possible to buy anything lower/cheaper than windows 98.
Volvo are not using any of the Windows98 functionality. They just wanted to write their code on an x86 box.
Really... there's nothing to worry about... Volvo are using DOS... Microsoft just won't sell it to them.
...not to you at least, obviously.
Myself, I'll stop laughing when Microsoft stop making jokes. My favourite joke this year was the marketing hype around XP: Apparently it "makes your computer faster" when you "upgrade your hardware"! Wow! Gotta get me some of that.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, Or close the wall up with our American dead!
... presumably it's running in "safe mode" ? (sorry, someone had to say it, or at least, repeat it ...).