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WorldCom to File for Chapter 11 Protection
Mantour writes: "To everyone's big suprise ;), Worldcom is going for Chapter 11. 'The Chapter 11 filing by WorldCom would follow once high-flying companies like energy trader Enron Corp. and Global Crossing Ltd., which crumbled into bankruptcy amid a crush of accounting investigations by federal regulators.' You can get more info in this Yahoo story" Update: 07/22 12:21 GMT by T : mnordstr points out a CNN report calling this "the largest bankruptcy ever."
VA will be filing for bankruptcy in the middle of August. Fact. All Slashdot subscriber money will go towards paying off the executive board.
Actually (seriously) it probably means WCOM can keep running while it reorganizes, instead of collapsing or selling itself in bits fire-sale style, so it's probably good news for you.
write it on your penis, photograph it and then encode it into a url which is viewable in mozilla.
How to take care of America's current financial woes; (not just applicable to WorldCom)
:-D
Everybody earning more then $100,000 a year takes a 10% pay cut.
Everybody earning more then $1,000,000 a year takes a 20% pay cut.
Would help if somebody also gave the congress critters the occasional wack along-side the head. Well even if it didn't help it would feel good.
Need help treating your acne? Come here!
Yeah, for suckers and fools. P/Es are still very high, especially for tech stocks; there is no accountability on the corporate side because there are no real penalties on the legal side; there is no credibility on the part of the government with Mr. Bush as president ("I'm gonna run government like it's a business!" and they surely have tried.); Democrats aren't going to change much either because they're all owned by the same corporations as Mr. Bush and company.
Face the facts: We, as a nation, have seen our national governance (and states as well) sold to corporations by our elected leaders and representatives. We've been sold out for a bunch of dollars, which are now tanking too.
Gonna be a sucky next few years. Shit, I don't even feel good about having my money in a bank any more (they too own a shitload of these corporations.)
Everything in the Universe sucks: It's the law!
It would dramatically reduce inner city crowding, and reduce traffic problems.
OK, you caught us. Us Linux faggots have a secret plan to ruin the internet, so that all the mentally incompetent asslickers like you will fuck off and die.
Let me know if I should rephrase that using smaller words.
Kathleen Fent is identifiable by her chubby profile, buck teeth, pathetic man-boobs, and attraction to stupidity.
HTH!
The dream is always the same.
I am on my knees, sucking his cock, feeling the turgid wamrth slide in
and out of my mouth, again and again, stretching my jaws until they ache with
pleasant exertion. I can't see his face, but I know who he is; or rather, I
know that I should know him...I just can't place his face. His thrusts are
harder and harder until he is gripping the sides of my head, slamming his cock
into me, into my mouth, his balls bouncing off my chin. The tremors start deep
inside him, rumbling through his body until he grips my head hard and explodes.
I pull his cock out of my mouth and feel his creamy warmth spraying across my
face, bathing my features with his slime. I lap at it happily, thrilling to the
feeling of his hot semen covering my face.
But this morning, it was different. As I swam up through the hazy
layers of sleep, in that last moment of the dream that was still fantasy and
yet the beginning of reality, I finally looked up, locking my green eyes with
his, and this final time...I can see his face.
Daddy.
Smiling down at me, grinning at the wonderful blowjob his daughter has
just given him. My eyes snapped open, and I could feel the moistness between my
legs. I thrust a hand into my panties and frigged myself off, coming in quick,
shuddering waves that left me breathless. At least twice a week, sometimes more,
I had the dream. And every time I woke up moments from climax, a small touch of
my clit was all I needed to send me over the edge into orgasmic ectasy.
But this morning was different. This morning, I was going to finally
make the fantasy into reality. Swinging my feet over the edge of the bed, I
stared at myself in the full-length mirror that covered my closet. I could
still see the slimy spot in the middle of my panties, and my erect nipples
throbbed almost painfully. If only Daddy would walk in now, I thought. Then
he would see what a sexy sight this is, and he would be powerless to stop
himself from throwing his body on top of mine and thrusting that log between
my willing thighs and ride me through the crests to orgasm.
But, I thought, standing, if Mohammad won't go to the mountain...
I threw on one of Daddy's old button down shirts and changed my
panties. Staring at the mirror, I decided to add a little effect. I reached into
the crotch and pulled a few of my blonde cunt hairs out so they would peek
around the edges. Still not enough. I rubbed my nipples, exciting the hard
little nubbins until they were poking through the material of the shirt.
Perfect.
Daddy was in the kitchen, reading the Sunday paper. Since Mom had died,
Dad hadn't found a use for church, so we spent most Sunday's together.
"You came in early last night, Amanda."
"Yeah," I said softly, trying not to be to obvious that something was
bothering me.
"What's a matter? Your date get too fresh?"
Getting a bowl from the cupboard, I muttered, "I wish..." under my
breath. In truth, I had spent most of the night riding up and down on my
boyfriend's cock...but I didn't want Dad to know that. I wanted him to think
that something was wrong.
"Hmmmm?" Daddy said, turning the page.
"Nothing." I poured ceral into the bowl and added milk, then joined
Daddy at the kitchen table. I munched slowly, wishing that it was my Daddy's
balls in my mouth instead of Captain Crunch. I put a pout on my face and
kept eating. Sooner or later, he would notice, and then I would pounce.
Finally, he put the paper down. "Something IS wrong, isn't it? You're
so quiet this morning. Did Danny get fresh last night?"
I stood up and walked over to Daddy, and then sat on his lap, throwing
my arms around his neck. "No Daddy, quite the oppisite. He didn't even try to
kiss me! What's wrong with me? Aren't I good looking?"
I looked into my father's eyes. His eyes drifted down to the part in
my shirt, seeing my braless, heavy breasts swaying under the material, their
hard nipples pushing at the shirt. Quickly, a little ashamed, he returned his
gaze to me.
"No, Amanda, you're a beautiful girl."
"Thanks, Daddy." I kissed him on the nose and made my move. Making as
if to get up, I felt Daddy's hands around my waist to hoist me to my feet. At
that moment, I faked slipping back into his lap. His hands slid up my body and
rested squarely on my breasts. His hands opened automatically and cupped my
heavy 36C breasts. His right thumb pressed over my left nipple.
"Mmmmmm," I said, feeling the pleasure course through my body. "That
feels good, Daddy." For a moment, Daddy kept his hand on my breast, and then he
removed it, looking at me like a deer in the headlights of an onrushing car.
"We shouldn't-" he started.
I leaned down and kissed him, my hot little tongue sliding into his
mouth and curling around his tongue. I took his hand and slipped it into my
shirt, around my left breast. The contact between his hand and my breast was
electric. His hand suddenely gripped my tit, hard, and he was kissing me back,
using his tounge.
Suddenely, he pushed me away. "No!" he said. "This is NOT right." I
grabbed his head with both my hands and kissed him deeply. He fought for a
moment, and then relaxed into my mouth. "Please, Daddy." I whispered. "Take
me, please."
He still looked uncertain. I took his hand and placed it between my
legs so he could feel the liquid warmth trickling out of my overheated cunt.
"Feel how wet I am for you, Daddy. Feel how much I want you." His hand
rubbed lightly over my panty-covered cunt and I shivered. "That feels wonderful,
Daddy. Play with me." Dad lifted me effortlessly onto the table and dove
between my wantonly spread legs, burying his face in my crotch. I thrust up,
slamming my hips into his face as Daddy slavered saliva over my crotch, soaking
the silk material of my panties.
For five minutes Daddy ministered to my overheating cunt through my
panties, driving me wild. I was groaning and pulling on my nipples, feeling
the orgasm approaching. I was seconds away from a massive cum when my father
pulled his face away.
"Noooo!" I screamed, reaching for his head. My father dodged my hands
and grinned wickedly at me. "Hold your horses, girl. I'm just taking your
panties off!" I relaxed and sat back as Daddy worked the wispy material down
my thighs and over my ankles. I kicked my legs wide apart and my father
stared into the gaping maw of my needy cunt.
His kisses started at my knees and slowly worked their way up to my
cunt, stopping every few inches to kiss more of my thighs. Finally his tongue
was licking my outer lips.
Daddy ate me expertly, knowing just when to apply pressure to my clit,
just when to spear his meaty tongue into my hole, when to suck the slime seeping
from my twat. I was slowly going into orbit. It wouldn't be long now!
And then my father did something that I will never forget. His hands
had been clutching my buttocks as he feasted on my cunt. One hand left my cheek
and made its way in between, seperating the globes of my ass, searching out my
little pink bunghole. I had never played with my own asshole, and no one else
ever had, either. But my father wasn't shy. His middle finger rubbed back and
forth across the little puckered grommett, making me hotter and hotter. Then
he grabbed my clit with his lips and sucked, and at the same time, thrust a
finger deep into my shitter.
I screamed into my climax, gripping his hair with both my hands and
rode his face through several peaks, shuddering with the intense pleasure
rocking my body.
After three minutes of intense pleasure, I slowly came back to Earth,
still gripping my father's hair. I slowly let go, relaxing back against the
table in wonderment at my father's skill as a lover. He was much better than
I had ever imagined.
He sat back and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, an evil
gleam in his eyes. Our glances locked, and I could feel myself getting
aroused again. Suddenely, I wanted the dream to be real. I wanted to be on
my knees, in front of my Daddy, with his hard, throbbing cock down my
throat.
I slowly came off the table and kneeled in front of him. His chinos
were strained to the limit by his erection. I kissed the lump in his pants
and slavered my tongue over the material. I was comitted to showing my Daddy
what a slut his daughter could be.
"Daddy," I moaned. "I want to suck you. Do you want me to?" He gave a
gurgled gasp and thrust his crotch at my face. I could feel his cock fighting
to get out into the air, into my hot, wet mouth. And I wanted nothing more out
of life at that moment then to bury my face in Daddy's crotch.
I opened his zipper and freed his cock. Seven inches of steel-hard
pink tubesteak, and it was all for me, his little sixteen-year-old daughter.
I held it reverently, looking at it like it was the stave of life. I licked up
one side and down the other, leaving as much hot, wet saliva as I could. My
hands massaged his balls, rolling the egg-shaped testicles in my hands gently.
"Mmmm," I moaned. "It's so big and hard and hot. Do you know what I
want to do with this?" He gave a tortured gasp and thrust his hips at my
face. "Yes, that's right. I wanna suck it. I want you to let me suck your
dick."
"Yeah," he gasped.
"Say it, Daddy."
"Suck it. Suck my dick."
I reached out and licked his peehole with the tip of my little pink
tongue. "And when I'm done...will you come for me? Will you come on my face?"
"Yes!" he groaned. Good enough. I opened my mouth and dropped my head
over his erection, burying every single inch of his hot hardness in the warm
sucking hole of my mouth. He gripped my hair this time and started face fucking
me, slamming the length of his turgid manhood into my hot, sucking mouth again
and again. My hands worked his balls like a gambler with a pair of crap dice,
feeling them tense and relax in my hands as he built to a climax. I knew this
first one was going to be fast and hard. As far as I knew he hadn't had sex
since my mother had died six months ago.
"Gonna blow!" my father said, jerking his cock out of my mouth. I
glanced at him, my green eyes locking with his blue ones as hot cock spit his
load on me, covering my face with his hot, sticky load. I giggled and clapped
my hands, grabbing his dick and milking it, smearing his goo all over my face,
feeling his slimy gift cover my cheeks and chin.
Gasping, Daddy stared at me as I licked the last few drops off of his
cockhead, smiling at him through a faceful of spoot.
"You know what I want you to do to me, Daddy?"
"What?" he gasped.
"I want you to fuck me. Fuck me hard, like I'm your whore."
Daddy growled and grabbed my shoulders, bringing me to my feet. He
stood and drove me against the kitchen wall, pinning me there. My legs went up
and around his waist. His cock was still hard; the natural lubrication from his
come coupled with the dripping slime coming from my own cunt made his entrance
into my sluthole a little easier than it might have been, but I still felt like
I had been split in two when he stuffed his incredibly fat member into my hot,
clutching little teenaged cunt. My back hit the wall with the force of his
penetration. I screeched and pulled him deeper inside me, grabbing at his ass
as he slam fucked me into the wall again and again. His hands tore at my shirt,
tossing it aside as he buried his face between my breasts, sucking on my
erect nipples, causing waves of pleasure to ripple up and down my body,
from my tits to my cunt and back again.
He tired of this quickly and dropped me to my feet. He came up behind
me and pushed on my shoulders. How wicked! Daddy wanted to fuck me doggy style!
I loved it. I dropped to my kees, and then rested my weight on my shoulders,
reaching behind my to spread the cheeks of my tender young ass. I looked at
him over my shoulder; he was standing there, slowly stroking his dick as he
looked down to see his daughter on the floor, lewdly holding her asscheeks
apart so her Daddy could my spread open cunt.
"Fuck me Daddy! Treat me like the slut I am!" Daddy dropped to his
knees behind me and grabbed my hips, seating his cock at my entrance. A moment
later I felt his hips shift, and then he was sliding that magnificant member
up my tightly clutching cunt. I clenched my internal muscles, and Daddy
groaned. I love fucking dog style, because no matter how many cocks I take,
I always feel extra-tight and hot in this position.
Daddy started pumping his cock in and out of my overheated cunt. His
hands gripped my hips and pulled me back every time he thrust. I was getting
the fucking of my life from my own father, and I loved it! His hands moved up
my stomach to my wildly swinging tits, and he latched on to my big milkers,
pulling and twisting on my itchy nipples.
I started seeing stars as I climbed closer and closer to another
explosive climax, and I could tell Daddy wasn't far behind. "Don't come inside
me!" I screamed. "I want to drink it! I want to wear it!" Daddy's fucking
pace increased, and I knew he was seconds away from blasting another delicious
load of his man goo, and I didn't want to miss a drop.
I spun away from him, dislodging his cock from my cunt. He reared up
on his knees, and I scooted foward until my face was even with his throbbing
cock. I started jerking on it, leaning down to lick his balls.
"Come for me, dammit!" I said. "Give me your slime!" Daddy grabbed my
head and forced his cock into my mouth. I slid my mouth wetly up and down his
cock a few times, and when I felt the tremors start in his balls I pulled his
dick out and let him paint my face again with his slimy, creamy warmth. His
seed flowed over my face again, covering me with his love and his warmth.
"That feels so, good, Daddy!"
Have you ever hung out around playgrounds wishing you could just sweep some
.They often
little girl off of her feet,drag her to some isolated area,and force her to have
sex with you? If you have,you are not alone! There are many people out there
just like you(no joke)! There are even organizations formed for this purpose!
Organizations like the M-B.L.A (Man-Boy Love Association),and my favorite,the
Female Society (aka: United Lesbian Organization,which boasts 762 minor
members!)...boy oh boy,wouldn't I like to get my mits on all that muff?
Anyway,on with the show!
[1] Where to find 'em
Girls 9 and under frequent playgrounds. These types are tight and almost
always bleed (unless her daddy beat you to the pie). I reccomend the use of a
lubricant (ask her her favorite flavor;then tell her to lick it off). I have
found that they have a tendency to yell;just belt 'em across the mouth a couple
of times. Many can be enticed with gifts of candy or the promise of a Cabbage
Patch Doll(which you,of course will not give to them). Still more can be found
in school;when they go out for recess, just grab a couple(bring friends). Many
will not swallow,so unless you wanna see a perfectly good load of jiz spit on
the ground,fuck them 1st mouth later...Just imagine little Sissy's parents'
surprise about 3 months later! hahaha! But actually,you are doing her a
favor!(yes,yes you are!) Just think,in about 5-10 years when shes all grown
up,and her friends are bragging about getting fucked at 15,she can say "Well I
lost it when I was 8!!!"
11-14 year olds:
You can be a loser,and ugly as shit,but most girls between these ages will do
*anything* you want if you seem interesting enough. Take them to a weight
room,and let 'em watch He-Man work out. Let them try to do what you do,and,if
you are not a pussy,they will not be able to lift the "amazing tonage" you have
so easily lofted into the air,thus arousing their interes. in you. Tell them
how you phreak,and run up other peoples fone bills,show them a couple of philes
on how to make bombs, & brag about how you steal software from companies,just
like on WAR GAMES (call up an AE line,and download something + tell them about
the risk you are taking,and about how you spent countless hours hacking at the
system to get the password!) After all this,get them alone for a while(in the
car is good).When you ar2 sure no-one is around,start kissing her and the rest
is history!
15-20 year olds:
Never try to force it on anyone in this age group,you'll probably get a swift
slug in the left testical. There are 3 main types in this age group:
(1) sluts --> wear a ton of make-up,have huge sagging tits,and can be readily
identified by rather large pocket books. To get in the sack with one of these
honeys, just get her alone, pull out your dick and say in a commanding voice:
"SUCK, BITCH" If she looks shocked,break the ice by saying:
"HEY,BUT BE CAREFUL OR HE MIGHT SPIT AT YA'!" or "HIS NAME'S THADIUS,WHAT'S
YOUR'S?" or,if all else fails "PLEASE?"
(2) normal --> wear conservative clothing,always a bra and slip,are very
conservative in wearing perfume or makeup; being the vile pervert you are,these
are the hardest to "sack" and have commonly taken up to 2.5 YEARS to get into
bed. The best and quickest way to get these babes is at gunpoint.
(3) new-wave --> wear that hideous bright clothing that they somehow manage to
look extremely fuckable in.Not always liberal on the makeup line,but you can
smell 'em a mile away. These babes are my personal favorite,as you can leave
'em when ever you want;many will get into 3-somes(bring a frien)
frequent shopping malls,look in stores like: THE GAP,CHESS KING,etc... try to
get a cheer-leader... My favorite pick-up line for this type is: "I've got a
penis,wanna touch it?"
BAIT: candy,money,walkmans,sex-toys,big penises,costume jewelry(tell 'em it's
real),muscles.
GOOD LUCK AND GOOD HUNTIN'!
Since the beginning of time, men have been plagued with cold-nosed women
who simply refused to put out. Well, it was not long before man realized the
value of Rosey Palm and her five sisters. Men really liked ole' Rose, but she
lacked that lubricating wetness that provided for mind blowing orgasms that
pussy could secrete. So those men got to thinking: A pussy is a pussy, no
matter what the species.. So began the age of Beastiality. Unfortunately,
fucking animals gave rise to new diseases, like syphilus. So when the rubber
was finally invented, men could not only beast-fuck without the worry of
infecting their shlongs, they could also fuck the dead ones.
Now, with the arrival of AIDS, women are especially stingy with their
snatches. I hope this guide will be helpful to men & women both.
FINDING AN ANIMAL
-----------------
Make sure the animal's cunt is big enough to fit you dick!
You haven't felt pain until you've had a donkey crack your
nads! Suggested animals- Sheep, cow, horse (if your over
6'), pig. Just go out in the country if you live in the
city, or the zoo if you have no wheels.
FOREPLAY
-------
Animals have to get excited, just like humans. Try to pick an animal
without a tail, cause usually they have shit caked in the hair.
Leave the animal standing, don't attempt to lay it down. Remember,
they fuck standing up ( Unless you choose a cat ). Now, get on your
knees and GENTLY grasp her ankles. lose your eyes and slowly run
your tounge along the length of her slit. Try to hold your nose,
the slime on her uter lips is a mixture of spit, piss, smegma, and
whatever else she rubbed her cunt in. Her hips will start to get
a little relaxed, and soon her pussy-juice will start to drip down
your face. Use your fingers and find her clit if you can. Work
a finger in at first, then 2 until her hole is loose enough to bang.
>> IMPORTANT STEP
--------------------
Now slip on your rubber. I recommend Trojan(C), lubbed
with receptical. Never use ribbed or you'll get kicked
in the nuts again.
FUCKING THE ANIMAL
------------------
Slowly stand up, you don't want to destroy the mood she's
in. Animals can be even flakier than real women. Reach
down and spread her cuntlips open. Doesn't it look great!
Now, the hard part. Slowly slide your firm, hard dick up
her loose, smelly gash. Once you have it in, hold your
position. Let her get used to the feeling of you member
inside her. Now slowly grind you pelvis into her ass. I
know you'll be getting shit all over your bush since her
asshole is right there, but this will arouse her even
more. Don't be suprised if she farts either, they can't
hold gas when they fuck. SLOWLY thrust in and out. Be
sensitive to the needs of your partner, work out a rythem
WITH her, don't be selfish. Occasionally reach down and
fondle her clit, her anus, her thighs. She will love you
for it. Now you can quicken the pace and let go of your
wad. Sometimes, if the mood is right, you can whip off
your rubber and shoot your wad all over her butt, using
your cum for lube if you decide to fuck her in the ass
later.
ANAL SEX
--------
If you didn't cum on her ass, you might want to lick your fingers
work them in her asshole. Or you can just lick her asshole and
wiggle your tounge inside her bowels if you like, both will do the
tick. Animals are generally not to ound of buttfucking, it hurts
them too, only they are used to passng massive amounts of shit so
their assholes are a tad looser.
NECRO-BEASTIALITY
-----------------
Necro-beastiality can be dangerous. You are sticking your
dick in dead flesh, and there's lots of bacteria at work
decomposing her body. So, now you have more than just one
disease to worry about. But I know how satisfying it can
be to fuck a cold, dead pussy. The nice thing is you don't
have to worry if she wants to or not. She's dead. Also,
you don't have to worry about lubrication. During the
course of decaying, the animal's cunt will be bloated with
puss, so once you start to bang all those tastey juices go
free!! You might alo want to try oral sex with her. Just
bend over and lick up the puss. Don't attempt anal sex!
Her intestines are stiff, when you pull your dick out, her
guts will still be wrapped around your dick and it gets
real messy...
Angel Cakes Double-WhammiesLoavesPT Boats
Apples Dueling BanjosLoblolliesPumpkins
Balboas Dugs Love MelonsRangoons
Balloons DumplingsLove MuffinsRib Balloons
Bangers DunesLulusRib Cushions
Bangles Ear MuffsMacaroonsRivets
Bassoons EclairsMambosRoundies
Baubles EggplantsMammariesSandbags
Bazongas EnchiladasMammies Satellites
Bazookas FlapjacksMamsScones
Bazooms FlappersMangosScoops
Beacons Flesh BulbsMarangosSet
Beanbags Flesh Melons MaraschinosShakers
Bebops FloatersMarimbasShebas
Betty Boops FloatsMau MausShimmies
Big Boppers Fog LightsMausers Silos
Bikini StuffersFried EggsMeatballsSkin Sacks
Billibongs Fun BagsMeat LoavesSkooners
Blinkers GagasMelonsSmoothies
Bombers GarbosMilk CansSnuggle Pups
Bombshells GazingasMilk FountainsSpark Plugs
Bonbons GazongasMilk ShakesSpecials
Bongos GlandsMolehillsSpheres
Bonkers GlobeletsMommasSpongecakes
Boobers GlobesMondosSpuds
Boobies Gob Stoppers MontezumasStacks
Boobs GongasMoo MoosStuffing
Boops GoombasMother LodesSugarplums
Bops GrapefruitsMoundsSweater Meat
Bosom GrillworkMountain PeaksSweater Puffs
Boulders GuavasMuchachasSweet Rolls
Bouncers Gum DropsMuffins Tahitis
Bra Buddies HandsetsMulligansTamales
Bra Stuffers Hand Warmers MushmelonsTartugas
Bronskis HeadersNancies Tatas
Bubbas HeadlampsNectarinesTattlers
Bubbies HeadlightsNiblets Teats
Buds HeadphonesNibsTetons
Bulbs HeadsetsNippeloonsThangs
Bulges HeftiesNippelosThingamajigs
Bullets HeifersNippers Tidbits
Bumpers HemispheresNippies Titbits
Bumps HillsNipsTits
Bust HindenburgsNodesTitskis
Busters HoneydewsNodules Titters
Busties HonkersNoogies Titties
Butterballs Hood OrnamentsNose ConesTomatoes
Buttons HoohasOompasTooters
Caboodles HootersOrbsTorpedoes
Cannon Balls Hot CakesOttomansTortillas
Cantaloups HottentotsPadding Totos
Carumbas HowitzersPagodas Twangers
Casabas HubcapsPairTweakers
Cha-Chas HuffiesPalookasTweeters
Charlies HumdingersPapayas Twin Peaks
Chihuahuas Hush Puppies ParabolasTwofers
Chimichongas ICBM's PastriesTympanies
Chiquitas JawbreakersPaw PattiesU-Boats
Coconuts JemimasPeaches Umlauts
Congas Jibs Peakers Wahwahs
Corkers JobbersPeaksWaldos
Creamers Jugs PearsWarheads
Cream Pies JukesPectsWater-Melons
Cuhuangas JumbosPeepers Whoppers
Cupcakes KabukisPillows Wind-Jammers
Curves KalamazoosPipsWobblers
Dingers KazongasPlumsWOngas
Dinghies KazoosPointer-Sisters Woofers
Dingos KnobbersPointsYabbos
Dirigibles KnockersPokersYams
Domes KongasPolygonsYayas
Doodads KumquatsPompons Zeppelins
Doozers LactoidsPontoonsZingers
Doozies Lip FodderPotatoes
****Note****
..Er,accessories? The producers of the show at the
The following file was written with a certain reader in mind;The whoite. That
is,an afficionado of that gallifr- eyan do-gooder,the doctor. Those of you who
are not familiar with the timelord of which i speak,are bound to get pre- cious
little from this file,so i recco- mmend you use your online time for some other
endavor,like wondering why you live in such a vaccuum that you don't know who
the doctor is. Or,rather,that the doctor is who. Oh,never mind. To the
enlightened,i implore you,read/ print on!
Fellow who-ites; Perhaps you have noticed the title to this file : A couple
of problems. What might i mean by this? Well,being a regular viewer/
convention hound for 4 years now,i have noticed a phenomenon that reoccurs oc-
casionally with the doctor's companions --the female ones, i mean. This file is
an essay on--bongos on the bridge;Mam- maries in the main control;Cleavage in
the console room...Yes, i mean:
Tits in the TARDIS.
Why are they there? Do they add or detract from the essence of the doc- tor's
escapades? Do we mind their pres- ence? Or,rather,presences? Perhaps we can
get some answers by examining the history of this phenomenon. Or,rather, these
phenomenae...
Susan,barbara,polly,zoe,vicki,liz, jo,sarah,leela,romana,nyassa,tegan,and
now,peri. These ladies are the possible subjects of examination that we can use
in our brief study. These are,of course the female assistants that i have seen
in action...There may be others that i have forgotten,but we can suffice quite
niceley with these lasses.
Now-to identify the origins of up- per body protruberances into the space/
time continuum,we shall go back,back in time (Relatively,of course) to the doc-
tor's first incarnation,the late william hartnell. What do we find here?
Susan,the doctor's 'granddaughter'-- a young girl,not at all bodily exposed in
any way shape or form. Well,what did we expect? Would you go running around
scantily clad in a time capsule with your grandad? Which leaves us barbara.
Not much here,just the usual screaming whenever some globular mass slithers
by..No titlillation,if you'll excuse the term...
We find this situation largeley the same all the way through the reign of the
finest doctor (Patrick troughton), also; (It's my file,i can make opinion- ated
statements if i want to) zoe,vicki et. Al,-and even thru the majority of the
third regeneration of our renegade gallifreyan (Jon pertwee),things in the realm
of sexing up the dimensionally transcendental are pretty tame...And then
came--sarah jane.
Not that i mean that sarah was a brazen exhibitionist or anything,but she was
definitely the first of the doctor's companions to exhibit the fact that she was
a modern woman,complete with
time wanted this to happen,since they figured the interplay between a specimen
of 'liberated fe- male' and the rather conservative char- acterization of
pertwee's doctor would be pretty interesting. After all,it was the '70's.
Then,after that jaunt to metebelis 3,exit pertwee,and enter the doctor who got
the closest to troughton's fantast- ic-ness,tom baker. In many senses,all hell
broke loose. The new doctor was,in a word,nuts,and we got the feeling that
anything could happen. But while all the scripts centered on baker being out
going and the prime attraction,sarah, novel femininity or not was put in the
background along with harry,all the way until 'hand of fear',when she left.
Next thing you know,cowabunga! En- ter--leela! Leela the savage warrior,
leela the tribal leader,leela the..The --scantily clad!! Never have we seen
more flesh in the endless battle again- st cosmic evil that the doctor faces.
Jumping aroung with her dagger in one hand,a janus thorn in another,and her
solidly defined cleavage leading the way,leela was truly a sight to behold. But
eventually,loincloth and all,she fell for some timelord geek on gallif- rey and
stuck around on the doctor's home planet with k-9 mk i. Oh well,no more
ignoring the occasional boring plot by leering anymore,right?
Well,yes and no. Enter the lady romanadvoratnolundar. Romana for short.
(Frankly i wouldn't have minded'fred'). Neither of the incarnations (Mary tamm/
lalla ward) got as decadent (But don't you love it) as leela did in terms of
lack of coverage,but as far as i'm con- cerned,they didn't have to,especially
romana1,mary tamm. She was quite attr- active indeed and,according to manner
befitting a timelady,she wasn't blatant about it. Perhaps a direct opposite to
leela in order to balance things out? Well,i suppose we'll never know now,
unless,of course we want to zip back into e-space....Anyone out there know how
to calculate negative co-ordinates?
So,anyway,exit romana,and enter nyssa,and shortly thereafter,tegan. Hm. It
wasn't until the whocon in'82 that i realized just how ravishing nyssa real- ly
was. She (Sarah sutton) was there, along with that galactic asshole,the master
(Anthony ainley),and i tell you, i couldn't keep my eyes off of that little
british lovely. Unfortunately, the producers felt the asinine need to keep that
awesome english frame under the same damn costume she wore from 'keeper of
traaken' for practically 2 whole seasons. Silly. Especially when the only
other relief you might have had was that bloody austrailian mouth on legs,tegan.
Her perpetual panicking kept on even thru the exit of the long- ets-running
baker,and the entry of the 5th doctor,the amusingly docile peter davison.
Finally,around 'arc of infinity', dear,dear nyssa changes her clothes and
shows off a bit more of her wonderful shape. True,she wasn't the best actress
to cross the screen,but....That...Face.
But all good things must come to an end,and when it did,it really happened
with a bang. In 'terminus',nyssa's last adventure,she practically strips while
in the throes of some sickness. Geez, why couldn't she be sick more often?
And,on top of all this,tegan is running around screaming in a inordinately tight
leather skirt. Seems the formula of stellar cheap thrills is back, and back in
force,back in 1980's style... Truly interesting,no?
Well,thankfully for the ears of the entire staff of the bbc,tegan left the
doctor and turlough after the ap- pallingly bad 'resurrection of the dal-
eks',apparently because all the killing had gotten tn her. Personally i think
she was just emabarrased at having to act in such a shit episode--but i digr-
ess....
So now with tegan gone,who do we have for our hormones to admire? No-
body,that's who. Just that schizzed-out redheaded turlough who spent a lot of
his time talking to a shot glass......
Worry no more--enter peri! And, rassilon on a stick,does she ever enter!!
All i can say is--20 years make an incerdible world of difference!! For the
first time (To my knowledge), the sacred interiors of the tardis have seen ---a
bikini! And omigawd,if it was filled any better by the incredibly stacked
essence of nicola bryant as perpugilliam brown,doctor who's status as a 'kiddie
show' in england would go up in flames faster than a propane barbecue. To put
it bluntly,my dear Jwhovians,these are the tits royale. T&a is again inherent
in the tardis,and on the grandest scale yet. The 10 minutes of footage of peri
in the process of being practically nude in 'planet of fire' blow away all of
leela's,shall we say,finest moments-combined.
And now,perhaps the tamest doctor, davison,has regenerated into the 6th and
latest incarnation,colin baker. Who knows (No pun intended) how the doc- tor's
approach to timelord middle age will affect the increasingly lurid and wonderful
parade of female travelling companions? I certainly hope not badly. I
mean,let's face it,who-ers--really good episodes are hard to come by,and it sure
as e-space is nice to have someone absorb your interest,if on an, albeit,more
earthy level,while the story flows past you in a half-asleep haze...
Is the sexing-up necessary? Is it a plus? Is it fun? You decide...I'm going
to go watch my tape of 'Planet of Fire'..........Oh,yeah,Peri!
Sounds like an Andersen employee finally found Slashdot!