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Spam Doesn't Work?

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the so-why-do-people-do-it dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Businesses who believe the hype that spam works should read this article. It seems that the more recipients that you spam, the less likely they are to respond (startlingly obvious, but this seems to prove it)." Somehow I doubt this. If Spam didn't work, why do I get a hundred pieces of it every morning? Someone is buying.

5 of 507 comments (clear)

  1. Spam works! by pieterh · · Score: 5, Funny

    My penis is 12" long, and I have never run out of laser toner. Surely this proves it!?

    --
    My blog
    1. Re:Spam works! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Can anyone translate this: AÁÙ¦bâúÃ20%H¥Î¥dÜ??

      I think it may be an important message since they keep sending it to me everyday to multiple addresses. I think someone I know may be hurt or lost in China.

    2. Re:Spam works! by pieterh · · Score: 5, Funny

      Did you never read your spam? You attach the full toner cartridges to your penis with a string... it hurts, and the cartridges kinda make a noise when you walk around town, but after five years I can honestly say that it works. Also, you *never* run out of toner... it's always just there, within reach. Just send me $50 today and I'll send detailed instructions!
      A word of advice... if anyone asks, tell them you're doing experimental art. If it's a pretty girl that asks, say you were selected from several hundred prospective artists because of the girth and strength of your equipment.
      Spam saved my life - it can do the same for you. Don't hesitate - send me the money NOW!

      --
      My blog
    3. Re:Spam works! by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

      My penis is 12" long, and I have never run out of laser toner. Surely this proves it!?

      Yes, but it started out 13" long and you only have an inkjet, which never draws upon the laser cartrigdes.

      You've been suckered, dude. Take your spammers and your shortened wanker to court.

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
  2. OMG! A sucker *is* born every minute!!!! by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 5, Funny
    "for every 10,000 pieces of spam mail sent at least 1 gets a 'buyer'

    so the more spam sent the more buying happens.. simple logic"

    Hypothesis: A sucker is born every minute.

    OK, so scale that up to the population of the earth: Send out 6x10^9 spams. How many responses do you get?

    6x10^9 / 10^4 = 600000

    Thus by this scaling, there are 6x10^6 suckers on earth.

    Now how many minutes are there in a year? 365 d/year* 24 h/day * 60 min/h = 525600 minutes/year

    5.26 x 10^6 == (approx) 6 x 10^6

    Thus the number of suckers on the planet Earth == (approx) the number of minutes in a year!

    Conclusion: A sucker is born every minute! (give or take a few)

    --- Q.E.D. !!!! --- (Thank you spam research!)